I wouldn't have people that encourage me to live as a woman. They'll just see me as a mentally ill weirdo. The only difference would be that id live with the shame of knowing that I shared my deepest secret for no reason and continue living as a depressed manIts not worth coming out at least I have my dignity as a repressed tranny
pussyyyyyyyy
ok why did you post here. just rep
you will one day regret this deeply and it will be too late
>>44061518Hey kiddo. 20+ year repper here.Please don't. It doesn't work. Part of the point of tadc is that there is such a thing as too late. You don't need anyone else, just love yourself and do the work to be happy. There's no dignity in what i've done.
>>44061529>>44061533None of you will ever understand im not allowed to self express, im not allowed to be free. That's for good people and im not good enough. I deserve this fate
>>44061518U dont have to come out but if u self identify as a tranny you should take your hrt
i dont wanna be hugboxxed by everyone around me in my irl circle either cos u can always tell its fake
>>44061554don't be a corny emo dork about it just take your medication damn
>>44061554oh boo hoo take your fuckin shot
>>44061546I don't know how to be selfish enough for that when I think about attempting transition i cant help but think of all the people im failing if I do >>44061555And how would I hide it? Its a losing situation if I do start
>>44061564>>44061576Im not strong enough to be a trans woman I just want to be cis and have no problems
>>44061596you have an enormous problem that will never go away staring you in the face, deal with it now or your life is going to get worse I promise you. you will never be cis with no problems
>>44061577Please take what i'm about to say very seriously. It's coming from decades of hard, HARD won experience.You choose to punish yourself because it's easier than facing reality. You can't deal with the fear, and you know that's wrong, but instead of facing it self punishment is your easy way out. You are going to harm other people if you make that your life's goal. It will come back on you, tenfold. And you're not alone. Tons of us do it every day, and we all wake up, 10, 20, 30 or more years later, sitting on our variously decorated mounds of shit acting shocked it turned out this way. Don't live your life in fear. You're just trans, it's not that big of a deal. Letting fear rule your life is a big deal.I wish you the best, do better than we did. It's not hard to do. Stop wasting energy distracting yourself with self hatred, you can do it!
>>44061518the weight of inaction is worse honestly. repping is the choice to kill yourself everyday, you become numb to it but you're still hurting yourself
>>44061612>>44061631But it is a big deal to be trans... everyone will think less of me for it. Life will be 10x harder than it already is and im going to suffer alone because my stupid brain cant be okay with just being born a male Im weak im not made to endure a trans life full of misery and ridicule everywhere I go I just want the least amount of conflict in my daily life but I can't have that if im trans everyone will be against me
>>44061660unless you live in a highly conservative part of the world it's just not that big a deal boo
>>44061660They'll think far less of you as a bitter, broken, barely human husk. Trust me. Might as well be happy, the world is full of shit people nona, you can't please them all
>>44061672Im not white so I can't pretend being lgbt is normal
>>44061518>t. jax before roping
>>44061680They won't think im broken when i make it my goal to make everyone else's lives easier. Im the least of my priorities. I can deal with the pain of my fucked up brain in silence
>>44061660do you live in the us? what is your financial situation like?
>>44061705It's hard to see you type that when i thought that way myself once. 2 failed marriages, 2 kids i havent seen in years, countless ruined friendships and a whole lot of self inflicted trauma later i realized i couldn't help anyone without helping myself first. Just fucking bleeding all over everyone all the time.I really hope you do what's right, for you, instead of picking the selfish route of repressing. There is so, so much pain and loss down that road girl i promise
>>44061518You can move to a city and be friends with all the nice city people and live your best life
>>44061518So don't come out . Take hrt and keep it to yourself. Start dressing slightly more fem, just a little at a time. You don't ever have to come out, change name, documents, etc. The whole point is to relieve dysphoria. Just keep going until you're comfy. You can always go further or go back
>>44061705You sound just like I did. Excessive pleasing others to bury your identity doesn’t work, trust me. I just wanted to not exist or have my own agency. I promise it doesn’t work.
>>44062381Doing what other people want is all I have ...
>>44061518I thought like this until I became an Amazing Digital Tranny
>>44061518You should live as a woman.
>>44065590Why should I? its only going to ruin my life because ill just be seen as a freak instead of just a loser
>>44061518I'm in the same spot OP. I keep feeling tempted but I know I'd just hate myself all the same afterwords because now I"m shitty PLUS an ugly old 30+ tranny
>>44061518I'm too old. It's too late. I did this to myself. There's no coming back from this.
>>44061518Same except not with trooning since im male and cisgender but with just getting on hrt.I would still not leave my house and not talk to anyone so all.changes would amount to erm.Nothing?
>>44066165Yeah there's pretty much no benefit to me opening up about my trans thoughts its not like im going to get better for it. Id still hate myself all the same just with the added people looking down at me for admitting it out loud
>>44066165also 30+ but manmoder. came out to a friend who was accepting and felt so embarrassed i basically cut contact
>>44066290I'll hug you virtually and tell you I don't look down on you for admitting anything.
>>44066260This conversation is not for you leave
>>44066303anon no you're literally making THAT mistake please get back in contact
>>44066306More like you'd think this guy is such a loser he wishes he could become a woman so he can escape his failure to be a man
>>44066303>>44066327holy fuck why is this such a common experience? and i get that it looks like we're punishing the other person for what WE did, so it's just totally baffling to most normies
>>44061518even if any of that happens, you will live happy and authentic and its like breathing when you didnt even know you were holding your breath - dont gotta go crazy immediately!! dont get me wrong, you should be comfortable while you do it, its about building up your own confidence in your womanhood and femininity and when it grows thick enough skin being able to face the world regardless. rn your womanhood is a little crechure, you need to nurture it and it will grow strong enough to face everything you fear. dont nuture it and it will agonize until death. but im sure you know that, and its scary anyways.. i have found for a lot of tfems ik irl exploring femininity in private to whatever extent they can and getting that reprieve eventually builds up their confidence enough to feel better about less and less private displays... i presume you dont have a support system rn? thats probably the hardest step, a good support system means the world but it also comes with having to trust another human being and risking getting hurt to find one.. bUT TRUST ME. it is WORTH IT.
>>44066476I have nothing but shame for how I feel. Im just a failure and I have no right to express femininity in any way
in the other thread they said everyone knew anyway. so whats the point of telling htem?
>>44066577I don't know what you're talking about anon im just a random repper
>>44066303imma do this probly soon but my very normal friend is secretly extremely gay so it will go fine
>>44066591>>44061604>>44061634lol
>>44066613Still not transitioning family matters .ore than random at work to me
>>44066327it's too late
>>44067077Its never too late anon. Dont ruin your life
>>44061554The neat part is that actually nobody is allowed to self-express. Not men, not women. We enforce social and cultural norms at every level of our society from the family unit and friend groups all the way on down. Corporate just inundated you with the idea that being unique is a good thing because it gets you to self-sabotage and remove yourself from life as a potential competitor. The weird and the unique are always hated, always have been and always will. At best we call it 'exotic' and treat it like a (somewhat positive) circus sideshow attraction.Its not really about what you're allowed to do. You're 'allowed' to do virtually anything you want short of committing a capital crime. You simply can't do what you want without also accepting the consequences of your actions, which in this case is everyone around you treating you like a weirdo because you're looking for a pass to be a weirdo. I'm not really sure what you expect people to say about that other than do or don't. You have the freedom to go in either direction and accept the consequences of what you choose.
>>44067934it's been 2 years and she has a husband and kid now
>>44068100And what about that prevents being friends?
>>44068179because i must seem like an asshole who stopped talking to her for no reason and she has a life with more important things to worry about
>>44068029So I should just continue to try my best to keep repressing this, if I want to have a modicum of dignity and respect in this world yeah
>>44068241Have coffee with her sometime. I'm sure it'll work out
Jax did nothing wrong, and I'm tired of pretending otherwise.
>>44066558shame can be unlearnt. godspeed.
>>44061518doesn't matter, take your HRT, retard
