>be me, 19 yo cis m>generally doing well in life, if a bit empty feeling at times>periodic feelings of dysphoria about once every two years since about 13>feelings last only a week or two before entire subsiding>most recent bout of dysphoria started 3 weeks ago but is not subsiding >intense despair seeing facial hair, adams apple, etc >hang out with mtf friend >wish I could be like her so badly, admire her confidence and self actualization >spiraling for the last week over the feelings, praying it will all go away againgenuinely fucking terrified about this situation. I am not trans, maybe mild agp, but not like genuine, lasting dysphoria. it has always gone away without doing anything. I just want things to subside like before, but each day feels more intense than the last. not sure what I am or what to do
>>44063221Welcome.
>>44063230?
>>44063221Sounds like me, lasted until I was 20 and one of the bouts got so bad it was rope or hrt, still have had them since but I cant rope until ive tried everything and let hrt do all it can at least now, so I'd recommend even if you arent trans either.>t. A cism on hrt
>>44063251Hover over the flag. Thank you.
>>44063259I wouldn't really want to consider hrt unless im genuinely trans. it would fuck up my whole life to transition and my body is very masculine so i don't think much would change anywaydo you feel like hrt has helped you? if so, how?
>>44063276>I wouldn't really want to consider hrt unless im genuinely transWell its not a fast process, more like choosing to move in a different direction wth ur body day by day>it would fuck up my whole life to transition and my body is very masculineYou can take hrt without transitioning>do you feel like hrt has helped you? if so, how?I have less breakdowns knowing my body isn't being rotted by testosterone I.e hairloss, kind a eunech peace mentally no test rage obv, skin is a little softer, fat hasn't changed much cus short time and I already had a pear fat dist, but if you dont itll help, and I have to shave and epilate my body less than before hrt which is handy
>>44063276Oh and uh boobs are just there, only 2 people close to me have pointed it out, so I think they are pretty easy to hide if you try, but im only 6 month in and It varies with everyone
>>44063221Yeah u have tranny curse corry sweetie.but hey. now u can look forward to one day being the girl u r admiring…Go to hrtgen, get diy, then get off this site. Hang out in sneedier spaces. It will let ur brain feel safe. you can come back here in a year when ur actually a girl. I dont mean to be strident. but youre very textbook and i see myself in u.
>>44063221just because your dysphoria isnt always there doesnt mean youre not feeling it or its not enough to be trans. i kinda was the same and i hate that i havent got on hrt yet. im fairly young (20 yo) and should be starting hrt soon but everyday i feel the damage done by testosterone to my body. sometimes i get random heavy dysphoria and sometimes i dont. if you wish you could be like your mtf friend, just be like her. i get that you dont have much confidence but you should at least try to get on hrt since its a long process
>>44063311>so I think they are pretty easy to hide if you try, but im only 6 month ingirl…
>>44063318Skinwalk your tranny friend and change your name to an alternate spelling of theirs.
>>44063318Oh btw another thing: it will stop dfading in and out once u stop fighting the egg crack process. you are literally just describing repression
>>44063325Man*. +what do you mean by that "..." im worried now
>>440633472 people have already joticed them 6 months in. what do you think the trajectory here is going to look like. how do yoh think your status as a man will stay stable in The face of that?dont mean to scare u, but u are ignoring the obvious.
>>44063367Those 2 people know im on hrt, and summer isnt helping but wearing thick oversized shirts does the job mostly>what do you think the trajectory here isThey will never grow again? Or atleast not enough to obviously visible no matter the posture or clothing>think your status as a man will stay stable in The face of that?My moided face and the norwood reaper will make sure of it, my body i can cover like I always have, even if i cant at most i get called a twink>u are ignoring the obviousWrong, with this voice face and hairline the obvious is that I will ALWAYS be a man, desu.
>>44063406im not saying u pass. Just saying that once ur tits become visible, you become a weird third gendered pervert. you need to take thag seriously as a risk factor. U are still SUPER early and some girls get crazy growth spurts u just dont know whatll happen
>>44063423>you become a weird third gendered pervert.I admit boobs make that feel worse, but ive literally always felt that way with near cisf proportions for alot of my body, I've always hid my body to feel like less of a freak, normal things like dating, clothes shopping, fashion are still going to be miserable and alienating, so nothing new
>>44063318>>44063323>>4406333ei didn't feel like i was repressing it before, the thoughts kind of just went away after a little while every time. transitioning would fuck my entire life. I can't be trans. the practical aspects with it would be rough, but beyond that even, the shame would destroy me
>>44063221I'm so sorry
>>44063221>periodic feelingssighone more timeare these feelings truly occasional or are you so used to being out of touch with your own feelings that you have a hard time identifying the things you feel that aren't extreme rage/sadness?if you think ((the thoughts)) outside of one of these "periods", does it really bounce off of you, or are you actually just really good at dissociating from your personal feelings and steering yourself away from ((the thoughts))? Can you describe a busy, content life of actual interests and relationships, or are you simply staying so busy that you don't have time to check yourself internally?
>>44063221yeah same. its always there but mild and spikes hard every couple of years. also gets way worse every winter and kinda fades in summer. this lasted well over a decade lol it doesnt go away >mild agpthats trans you goof>>44063276>do you feel like hrt has helped you? if so, how?it fixed literally everything. >>44063276>it would fuck up my whole lifeyeah it would, but its really just in a different way. living a fake life is equally difficult. trust.
>>44067267between the acute episodes, I mostly just ignore any residual dysphoric thoughts. it's not like the feelings are totally gone between episodes, more that they just feel like intrusive things in the back of my mind rather than genuine desire to change my genderI am genuinely pretty successful. doing well in my (fairly prestigious) engineering program. exercise regularly. im not super social though. feel weird and awkward talking to ppl so I mostly just work ahead in my textbooks during freebie>>44068011the mild agp i was referring to is the preference to shave my body and face daily, not like actual dysphoria. also I know a fake life wouldn't be ideal, but genuinely transitioning is not an option even if I were actually trans. it wouldn't fix my body but I would be completely discarding my relationship with my family after they've been extremely kind my whole life. i couldn't live with myself that way
