anytime I seriously think about getting my life back on track my mind is flooded with >I will die in 2 weeks so it's pointless>I will probably die in a car crash soon>I will get brain cancer and die within the next 2 years so why work >i should keep rotting and maximize pleasure >rotting continues anyone else like this? my life is hell. im also gay btw
my biggest fear is that im not gonna die soon at all, that its just going to be a slog on and on, in this body i hate, as this person i hate.
no i feel like this all the time but especially when im stressed like i am now (breakup + move + return to college). alternate between this and like very well defined plans for suicide which honestly might be the move later this summer i dont rlly want to do anything anymore
>>44070056idk. i sometimes feel like that, but i don't feel much pleasure from life so i just focus on work instead. im the opposite of a hedonist i guess
>>44070056I don't get how you can have depression but also be afraid of deathI hope I get a brain tumor and die in two years
>>44070056I mean, trying will make whatever time you have left less unpleasant and more enjoyable.
>>44071859the way it works is when i'm depressed im not afraid of death and will waste 8+ months doing literally nothing but when I get the urge to do something with my life my mind gets anxious and thinks>lol what if the moment you started to respect yourself you just die in a car crash that would be horribleand then I end up not doing anything it's like an anxiety that only triggers when I think about stop being depressed
