I am a depressed virgin faggot who has aspergers. Im turning 19 soon and have never been in a real relationship. I have 1 friend and irregurarly talk to some foid in a wheelchair i know from high school. I considered killing myself before i even turned 10. The only thing in my life that keeps me going is drawing and playing video games but i haven't drawn in a month. A good week ago i got drunk and just stared down on a balcony wanting to jump. My only attempts at dating was with an ogre hon i met on Grindr last year and a 20+ something stoner a month ago. I can't keep going like this, i hate being a person and not just some neutral observer. I don't want to kill myself at the moment but i know i'll spiral into suicidal thoughts soon enough. I need to change something but i don't know what. Picrel is a drawing of myself and the last thing i drew.
>>44098281i know this is going to sound grating, but don't take it the wrong way. you're 19. you're just starting your life. you aren't pathetic for not having found love yet. you should keep drawing and foster your interests. if you have serious suicidal ideation you should go to therapy or consider medication. again, I know it sounds repulsive but it helped me a lot. maybe I'm just Some Foid so my opinion doesn't hold much water, but. what is going to turn people away is a hateful attitude. take the opportunities as they come. invest in yourself. think about what you really want in life. and don't scramble for a quick and easy answer like, I don't want anything because life sucks. Life does suck but everyone wants something and you can find fulfillment. just give it some time, you're basically still a kid
>>44098423>if you have serious suicidal ideation you should go to therapy or consider medicationMy mom got me a therapist when i was 7 or 8. That bitch never gave me a crumb of advice. When i was 16 i went to a psychiatry (once again my mom's idea) where they prescribed me medication that made me fat as fuck. Next year i went there again because when i came back to school my entire class turned against me because i apparently "wanted to kill someone" and "made them uncomfortable". The second time in the psychiatry was fucking awful. Everyone was an asshole that talked behind eachother's backs. I was prescribed even shittier medication that made me delusional and didn't help my weight problem at all. I had to repeat the 3rd year because i would otherwise have to complete an entire school year's work in the summer. >what is going to turn people away is a hateful attitudeI tried being nice to everyone. People don't give a shit. They bullied me and spread rumors.>just give it some time, you're basically still a kidI don't care. I know that when i get out of high school i'll have to pay 200.000€ for the smallest possible apartment, deal with bullshit EU regulations and still be surounded by sub 110 iq people who never suffered once in their life.
>>44098604just take baby steps in the direction you want to go. stack small wins. rome wasnt built in a day. being negative is your main issue and you overcome it with small wins
>>44098705I think my main issue is everyone hating my guts for being a sperg.
