>dysphoric since 12>tranny ideations come and go like 3 months feeling good and manly and 3 wanting to rope>19 now>have cis gf that i love with all my heart>tranny episodes come and go but seem to be getting better >1 month ago get the worst dysphoria ever before like not eating or talking to others to the point of everyone around me being worried i basically took the courage to fucking take hrt and become a midshit boymoder however don’t know what to do with gf situation. i love her to death (tho i admit i masturbate to men and sometimes think about guys during sex) but still, the only times i imagine my future as male is when thinking about us building a family together i am really out off energy to keep this and need to choose being a lonely fag or a depressed manany thoughts?
how about tell her? you may be surprised by her response.
>>44099773this
>>44099773idk she is super straight and clearly is attracted to manliness
>>44099788She's gonna dump you
>>44099804probably and also laugh at me behind my back i just love her so much and wish there was a cure to being like this
>>44099788there's a strong chance you're at least partially wrong about this. at 19 and even on a bit of estrogen you probably give effeminate vibes already. she might already suspect but doesn't say anything because most women are brainwormed about this.idk anon, i told my now wife right from the get go that I do want to be an effeminate guy physically and her answer was "that's hot" followed by a way to plan this so we can have kids.sure, you may not be so lucky, but secrecy isn't an option either. neither is repression.
>>44099832I'm sorry nona, but you're most likely going to have to choose between trooning or your relationship. Which is more important for you?
>>44099873yea probably but it’s really gonna hurt, she doesn’t even like me to shave my legs cuz it’s girly and also i’ve sometimes been transfóbicas around her because of projection and she seems to be really hateful of trannys>>44099886my greatest weakness is making life altering decisions for myself
>>44099765You lose her to depression ruining your life when these episodes become so self destructive and dissociative that you begin burning down the foundations of your future, or you lose her to "ew a faggot"You'll have to pick which one you can handle, along with the associated future, and figure out how to present that to her without blindsiding her with suddenly shooting yourself in the head-itis
>>44099933>my greatest weakness is making life altering decisions for myselfI know that feel
>>44099765>i love her to death (tho i admit i masturbate to men and sometimes think about guys during sex)You sound like me, cept I managed to repress until age 32. You have to tell her. Especially since you've already started HRT. She may be cool with it, or your relationship may be over. That's life, but I can promise you that repressing will make you miserable. Be happy that you're only 19. Most relationships at that age fail anyway, even if they feel like they'll last forever.
