I want to hear the experiences of similar individuals, what was it like before and after?Im trying to overcome my chronic fear and guilt around intimacy, as well as how to find people willing to deal with weird preferences, e.g I need to be degraded and or beaten up, cus of prior abuse, as well as having many other emotional responses being twisted to be linked to things they shouldn't, and how to not shutdown completely in response to moderate stimulus.I hope the wisdom of the learned individuals here can assist me if you're willing to share :).
terrible, i got too self absorbed, had great skin, and then dropped it all to play vidya really hardcore for a year and now im ugly and pale, kinda fat too
>>44140128Too self absorbed? What happened? Also I hope you get better soon, league took over my life for 18 months i wont get back :(
>>44140146i feel mentally destroyed and im old.
>>44140098hot evil bf (was like picrel but not a rapist) for like 5 years. broke up with him for lotsa reasons. mostly cuz he started treating me like a kid outside of kink. otherwise everyone treats me like a sex doll. i hate my life
>>44140176>>44140160>otherwise everyone treats me like a sex doll.I see this quite often, but im not even good at that sadlyThe fact you were together for 5 years is some silver lining that there's hope that people are willing to commit to us, even if in this case it wasn't ideal>i hate my life>i feel mentally destroyedMy condolences, hope you can get through this.
>>44140223im trying to find women to date but im too cowardly to go on dating apps. attaching something so real like that to my otaku freak self is something thats horrifying to me. ive met ok ppl on soc but theyre bpd and ghost a lot
>>44140245>attaching something so real like that to my otaku freak self is something thats horrifyingToo real>but im too cowardly to go on dating appsSame, just seems pointless too for me atleast>ive met ok ppl on socBraver than me talking to people from 4chan
>>44140098I've been with my current bf for over a year and a half. emotionally it's been good and despite our moments we've been well. sex life leaves some to be desired and it's kinda my fault. I have a chronic fear of intimacy and pretty aggressive bottom dysphoria so I really just suck his dick while he calls me degrading things. I just feel bad sometimes like he deserves better than all this weird bullshit.
>>44140560>I have a chronic fear of intimacyis that just physically or romantically too?how do you get around/manage it? Sounds like you have something nice going on though
>>44140641more so physically than anything else. in a vacuum I really enjoy being affectionate and all lovely like handholding, kissing, hugs, cuddles, etc. unfortunately though I am deeply disgusted by my body and I find it difficult to expose myself in a sexual way because my body just feels wrong and dirty. hence why I think I like being degraded because I feel less like im hiding myself and he sees me for what I truly am.
got on E at 20 dreaming of becoming a submissive boiwife to a man.now at 26 I have that >>44134038socially I'm sometimes not taken seriously because I look too much like a pooner/failed male but that has been the only real drawback.before that I had two flings with two cis girls and a fling with a man. discovering how much I enjoy the intimate warmth of a man put me on this path.>I need to be degraded and or beaten upI've never been abused and don't want to be beaten up. But I do need to be degraded.If the legal and social category of ladyboy were accepted in my country, I'd be that unironically.>how to not shutdown completely in response to moderate stimulusyou slowly learn that life is not just about sex and if you want to enjoy it you need a stable relationship and find love. easier said than done for some people but it's really the only way.when I'm with my man my brain turns to mush when he grabs me and calls me a pathetic failed faggot. but then the next day I wake up in his arms and then we both go to work.being a submissive mef faggot is just my sexuality. repressing it would not have worked. letting it take over my entire life would've meant being a social and financial loser. so i treat it like just another facet of myself given the constraints of reality.
>>44140849>unfortunately though I am deeply disgusted by my body and I find it difficult to expose myself in a sexual wayHuh, me too, I guess MEF is fitting for me then>>44141097>>how to not shutdown completely in response to moderate stimulusyou slowly learn that life is not just about sexI should be clear this extends beyond sex.Your story interesting though,>when I'm with my man my brain turns to mushThis is kind of what I mean but It happens In non sexual ways too, I fold too easily its embarrassing >letting it take over my entire life would've meant being a social and financial loserIm still working on this part lol
