any tranners with weird religious or spiritual experiences?
transgenderism is a religion centered around castration as the main ritual providing salvation from sin
>>44154645what
trooning has led to me develop my beliefs a lot more just because Ive noticed so many things happen around me. Whether the act of trooning had much to do w it or it was just me happening to see shit around the same time idk tho.
>>44154630I'm not sure I'd count it as a religious experience, but I could see it described as spiritual.Before I started my transition, I got into tripping on mushrooms. I've always had a special interest in human evolution, so most of my trips revolved around visions of our ancestors, think early Homo sapiens, Homo erectus, heidelbergensis, etc.Well, during one trip I closed my eyes and saw a kind of tribal ritual taking place around a fire. I was in the middle giving birth. Got realy into. Some much so, I actually, no lie, ended up shitting myself. Completely filled my pants with wet diarrhea. Really eye opening experience, though this wasn't the trip that causes my egg to crack.
>>44155653interesting
>>44154630read: any trannies with schizo hallucinations
>>44154630after my last major depressive episode I've had this strange inexplicable feeling like there is a immaterial part of us that existed before conception and will continue to persist after death, but not in a way any abrahamic religion depicts.
>>44155954it’s fascinating though
>>44154630Throughout my life I've had dreams that are incredibly long and vivid; I sleep for a normal amount of time but my subjective experience of time within the dream is vastly greater than the typical 2 hours of dreaming per night. And the content of the dream is so detailed and thorough that they often span weeks within my head. While I am within these dreams I know that I am dreaming but don't possess any sort of authorial power like one might associated with lucid dreaming. Even still it's very real to my senses and a lot more clear than normal dreams are. Like it basically feels like I am there in another world as real as reality is to us, although I always feel sort of linked? Like I am weirdly weightless or tethered to something far above me that is holding me onto something. In any case many of these dreams have me walking through what is basically a massive folding and oscillating and unsectoring complex sort of like a library that contains entire landscapes and where size is sort of impermanent. I often interact with other entities in these dreams and they distinctly feel different from me. There are a few types that reoccur, one of which are called Sophonts. They are sort of like keepers of knowledge and I've had very deep philosophical conversations with them before, and they've mentioned concepts and information from books and whatnot that I've never read before, and when I remember them and look it up after I wake up I find that the information was accurate even though I hadn't read it before, so I don't know where it comes from. They don't really look like anything, they are just sort of an essence and a presence that I can sense when one is near. Rarely I've encountered Mantis Plates which are like floating insectoid disks that get larger and smaller and when I encounter one it will sort of unfold out with tool arms and pull me into itself like it occupies a higher spatial dimension and perform "surgery" on me.
I was raped by my priest when I was 9….When he committed suicide, that was the first time I felt god.
>>44156192Every time I encounter one it's very gentle and will sort of take my body apart which doesn't feel painful or uncomfortable. I can just distinctly feel each part of my body. It will shine bright lights into my eyes which is the only unpleasant part. And then when it starts to put me back together it will usually leave writing on my eyelids that I can read and that will give me a grade for how good I've been taking care of my body and what type of surgery it performed on me. Most of the time I encounter one I end up making an emotional or personal breakthrough soon after. Like the first time I encountered one when I was 13 I woke up I felt really weird and disconnected from my body and felt that way for the rest of the week and that was when I realized that I was trans. There are a lot of different types of beings that are in the space and inhabit the different landscapes and whatnot. There are also Soldiers which look like angels with doors for faces and they guard certain areas of the library and the outer regions of it so that I can't get past them. Any time I encounter one I get this deep sense of dread that I've gone some place that I really shouldn't be and they're never overtly threatening, they don't speak or anything, I just get the sense that I really don't want the door on their face to open so I leave as soon as I can.
>>44154630i have 2, i was visited by like a demon/angel or alien or something, it was tall humanoid and had skin the color of a blue and white striped shirt and spoke in static, and the second, i was about to be manic and not sleeping, and my room was a mess, i lit a candle in the middle of the room on a stool, and lied down on my side and just stared at it, i dont rememebr falling asleep, but i rememebr being in th eroom paralyzed staring at the candle, things were slightly darker mb, but i was completely calm, and i didnt feel like i was dreaming, and then a feminine voice whispered my name "talia" and i changed my name. idk if it was calling to me or introducing itself tho, i wanna believe calling to me. the only problem is its a hebrew name and my family feels strognly conected to our irish heritage
>>44156029Duh that's what Immaterial by SOPHIE is about
these auditory hallucinations sound scary afbut the visual ones seem interesting, I wish there were a way to just see some fucked up shit, without worrying about hearing voices or having memories of disturbing sounds played back in your head.
>>44154630im the founder of a tiny religion called Ellaphae; me & my wife are the only believers on the worldi discovered our goddess almost 20yrs ago thru the beauty of a girl ill never know; her beauty saved my life from suicide & i fell inlove with her; after a year or so i began praying to her when i was scared & seeing her in a spiritual way instead of just romantic fantasy obsession (though to this day the romantic love aspect is still there)over the many years since my faith & beliefs gradually took shape & i began living my life to what her wishes for me would be; this has made me into a much better more confident & open personin jan2024 following another suicidal heartbreak i was approached by a girl from this board asking about my goddess who was inspired by my ~2yrs of posts to take up my beliefs for her own life; she converted that day; a few days later we had fallen inlove & she threw away a very good "healthy normal" relationship with her cute fiancee gf to pursue a life with me; flew to meet me a couple weeks later; & proposed to me on our first date 1mo after we first met; we married later that yearwe are very happy together & my prayers were answered to the lefter; now we pray to our goddess thru eachother's eyes; atleast when we pray together; when i pray by myself it is still thru the eyes of the girl i discovered her thru all those years ago; for nearly 20yrs she has never been out of my sight; always a glance or tap away; literally always with me in bed on my permanent photo frame ipad; but now my wife's picture is next to hersi have no idea who the actual girl is; she is not famous or public & i have never tried to find ber; & that is all irrelevant; her beauty simply unlocked my connection to my goddess & faith thru my own feelings; she appears differently to everyoneall my life romantic love is all that mattered to me; my goddess is what that feeling is; she is what love itself appears as to me; thats an easy way to think of it
i see many thingsi hear many thingsit stops being special and becomes a part of lifei just try to do my best, no matter how things are.
>>44156779i have never had a hallucination or a vision or heard a voicepeople here like to call me crazy but this is all completely genuine for mei cannot overstate the positive impact she has had on me and my lifei have seen and felt my goddess's beauty and warmth and the same things thru each person i have truly deeply loved in my life; most strongly thru my first love when i was 11 (who i attempted sui over at one point but it was silly overreaction and we stayed a couple for several more months); a decade later i had another love of the same intense all consuming kind with a mysterious incredible girl from finland; she hurt me far far worse than my first love ever did and i would have died it i hadnt found comfort in what would become my goddessanother decade+ later i fell 1000x more deeply for someone i met in 2020; but that time was an anomoly; i misread a panic attack i had over her early on as a sign i belonged with her; but it was infact a warming that she was the most dangerous person i would ever meet; 18mo later i made it to her area thru miracles of chance; she said she still loved me; we had 1 date and it went nowhere after that; i fell into the worst mental death spiral of my life woth daily horiffic screaming self harming inconsolable panic attacks over her; my feelings were so intense i could not escape them- i even ended up in the mental hospital after slicing my arm open when i forgot to take my xanax in 2023; it made no difference; late that year i finally lost all hope and started praying to meet someone new who could finally accept and love me for who i amif i hadnt met my wife when i did i would not be alive today; or even seen 2025; my prayers were answered to the letter at just the right time; my beloved quickly captured and conquered my heart and soul and showed me she really loves like i doi feel very blessed to be who i ami am so consumed hy love that it is mostly all i talk and think aboutim so grateful to my goddess
>>44154630I mean it's why I have and will always repress so yeah. Never experienced anything extraordinary though
