>>44184983
Weird and nonsensical, sometimes from a 3rd person perspective like I'm watching a movie.

>>44184983
My dreams are hyper vivid. I practice lucid dreaming and waking dreaming. I dissociate at work until I came home and lay down astral projecting myself as a woman as long as I can. Then I dream and be a woman in there too. In all honestly I view my "real" life as the dream. It's only 11 or so hours where I'm a man doing the same thing every day. But then the other 13 I'm a woman who can explore anywhere and do anything.

>>44184983
I have 4 major dream types
>social situation where someone is being mean to me
>horrible small creature tunneling out of my body
>girl in the mirror
>literally just sitting down using the internet and nothing happens

>>44185026
As a HRT repper, half of my dreams are about forced feminization. The other half are about me being raped and killed in a prison. I want someone to recognize my lack of masculinity and force me to come out. I wish estrogen and progesterone did something to midshits.

Make me into a girl now please thank you.

>>44185078
I am a woke genie. Done (nothing changes)! You were always a woman! You have two wishes left.

>>44185106
woke genie why are you so mean to me

is repgen run by maskers now or are yall doing a bit

>>44185151
Kigurumi is repper culture, might as well celebrate it.

>>44185151
>or

>>44185072
>HRT repper
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lvTQHZev_QY

>>44185208
i refuse to believe anyone in this gen is a masker

>>44185190
do femreppers have an equivalent

>>44185243
I would be kigumaxxing if I wasn't a poorfag.

>>44185224
I am ngmi, started HRT at 20 with no passing potential. I am not a youngshit, we are in the exact same boat. I literally look like identical to any man, with identical measurements. My bone pill score is like a 1 (hugbox site barely thinks I am a giga muscular woman). I have it worse than you because people somehow can tell I am a tranny.

>>44185272
irrelevant, YWNBAR

wet repping is valid chud

>>44185254
>>44157111

>>44185293
no femrepper has ever boykigged

>>44185284
HRT Repping is the most valid form of repping. It is seeing that you never even had a chance. Non-HRT reppers are on easy mode in comparison. YWNBARR

I wish I had HRT

>>44185324
Where do you live (not exact location please)? If you can get homebrewed stuff, I can send you some crypto money if you want.

>>44185314
>Non-HRT reppers are on easy mode in comparison
If only you knew how bad things really are.

>>44185335
it's not a money issue, it's a me being a coward and retard issue
thank you though

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>>44184993
same except they usually end with with some piss realted fetish shit because i need to pee and wake up shortly after

>>44185254
Foam muscle suits maybe but doubt many femreppers actually wear those.

>>44185272
hrt repping is not a thing, people can tell you're trans because you're transitioning and gaining characteristics which out that you at the very least have had elevated estrogen levels for whatever reason and people aren't going to be charitable and assume it's from prolactinoma or whatever........ if you meet some violent brutes why would they assume you're some heccin vxlid cissoid instead of a hon? just because you dress like a man doesn't mean you are one, you could be a manmoder, boymoder, whatever, but hrtrepper? that's just a pinkpill psyop, oh you can totally take hrt and rep, see if you'll be a passoid and nobody will ever be the wiser? give me a fucking break, you put your life on the line when you start hrt and just have to hope some violent subhuman who could be anywhere around you doesn't put an end to it.

>>44185360
maybe they would feel better if they did

>>44184993
fpbp, my dreams largely occur in places I've been with people I've known, whether family or former IRL friends, and tend to slowly morph little by little so that the beginning of the dream barely resembles the end
i just wanna dream being a woman once in a while but i can't even manage that, probably because i have a horrible male soul and my subconscious knows it

>>44184983
>What are your dreams like?
All over the place. They don't make any sense when everything is put together, and unless there was something stand-out or I write it down immediately I tend to forget them completely. Sometimes first person, sometimes third person, sometimes the perspective shifts mid-dream.

>t. anon who had a dream 2 weeks ago about starting HRT after 17 years of repressing
>but in that dream, my TERF mother was there
>she was unhappy about it, but accepted it enough
>and also I was in this building that I don't even know how to begin to describe, just a bunch of random things that aren't important
>the HRT thing was just a small part of that dream, but the only part that mattered
if I actually started HRT and told my TERF mother, I doubt she would be accepting as the version of her from my dream.

I feel like I am in limbo now, like everything is there to finally stop repping and actually move forward, but like, those first few steps are going to be so hard.

>still terrified that I'll end up in the lowest circles of queer hell with the barely functional diaperhons in their drama filled polycules
>also those humming through a straw exercises are exhausting I am pretty sure I can completely fuck up my throat if I do them too much too soon
>or maybe I'm not doing them properly?

>>44185421
I am a gigaheighthon (almost 6' tall, 181.7cm) my very presence backs off 90% of would be attackers. I wear a binder at work and in public, plus I am barely A cup in size at the moment. I am an androphilic tranny which means I am already gay. Going from effeminate gay man to clocky trans woman has already massively improved my safety in the liberal area I live in.

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Fellow members of this decadent council, why should we not be evil?
I was born broken and never had a chance to live a normal life. My mind has a curse upon it I can never hope to get rid of, a curse that beckons me to reshape my entire body for its own sake. A vile curse, really. The lands around me also were cursed. A curse of poverty, so I can never have the resources to go through with the desires of the former malediction, creating an endless loop of disappointment and misfortune. Like a werewolf that never fully finished his transformation, I am in pain.
Nobody cares. I could go out in the streets or to my deepest confidants and scream "I am struggling. Help me. My mind is not right." and nobody would come to my aid. What can they do? And so, they do not care. It's not their problem, is it?
How can one keep on living if your entire body tells you to die? There is no pleasure to be found in common things. Helping a neighbor is a chore, feeding the cat is a nuisance. Well, you do anything you do can find pleasure in, of course. Riches can buy happiness, or at least a remedy to soothe your aches. It's not my problem if someone lost that money due to predatory business tactics and funneled it to me, is it? It's not my problem if others must struggle so I can thrive, is it? I'm so tired of everything, why should I not tire of empathy? This world is doomed either way. What can I do?

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>>44185488
Jax please leave this board

>>44185465
Very few people have consistent positions or principles when it comes to personal life. I know anti-choicers who would let their daughter get an abortion, but oppose it for everyone else. You shouldn't repress for someone else

>>44185510
NEED hot sweaty repper smut with jax taking out his anger by knocking up pomni repeatedly

coom the dysphoria away
squeeze and juice it out of yourself
in this way cooming is a necessary therapy not an indulgence
no wonder this is the only bad vice in some reppers

>>44185482
sorry but trans violent victimization per capita exceeds gay male violent victimization per capita so you're probably not improving your odds there. i'm also androphilic, but I've just been repressing that as well and obviously when people ask if you're gay you may have some idea as to why they may think that so you'll get to know some additional behavior to repress because for some asinine reason the world labels a ton of shit that has nothing to do with sexuality gay so straggots will avoid it and now you gotta follow the pack if you don't want to be viewed as gay and then when you've rejected some woman good luck with warding off the gay accusations and responding in a way which doesn't get you an enemy because women feel entitled to your body and can't handle rejection. but whatever, i'm not saying you should be some miserable true repper, i'm just saying what you're doing isn't repping, if you feel more safe and hopefully end up more comfortable with your body that's great.

>>44185335
>>44185324
imagine snorting estrogen

rabbits are pests
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUWm7DJ43QQ

>>44185592
I don't like being seen as gay either, but very few women would even want to be around me. I am not exceptionally tall (6' is considered rubbish by women in my age range) or exceptionally good looking. My clavicles are very narrow for a man (even before starting hrt shr was about ~1.25) and my current shr is about 1.15. Woman are attracted to men with large height and large shr. I am simply not attractive to women.
>>44185595

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>>44185575
He abstracts the moment Pomni gives birth, unable to handle her doing something he will never be able to because he WNBAW
Jax Jr loses a parent before ever meeting him and inherits the troon genes

>>44185510
when does pomni poomn out

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>>44185513
>You shouldn't repress for someone else
I have been nonetheless. When I was a teen I came out to my parents. I lost hope and drifted alone through life for so long because of how that went. I could never be a woman, and there were so many horror stories of trans women with no support being forced into prostitution or worse... I knew I didn't want that for myself. But more over, I didn't have the courage to defy my parents.

Her talking points have become so much more extreme since then, with the strange idolization of the UK, misapplying statistics, all the usual shit. Even others are noticing how radical she's become. I see my parents often enough, so if I take HRT, sooner or later she will find out... and then what? I'm not a student living at home anymore, subject to the whims of my parents. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck. I own my home and have a retirement portfolio. Even if I lost my job and couldn't get another one, nothing too bad would happen to me for quite a while. I need to stop being a passenger in my own life.

I live in a mostly liberal area of a trans-sanctuary state. In theory it should be pretty easy to get HRT. I don't know how or where to start. I'm scared to even look it up but it's an irrational fear. The algorithms already know.
>I was buying some shit on amazon last night using a different device where I've never looked up tranny shit ever, and I've never logged onto my amazon account on this device.
>besides IP address, there shouldn't be anything to easily correlate the two devices
>and yet somehow, amazon was recommending pink monster and women's clothing in large sizes

>>44185674
I’m so sorry to hear that, I have a similar experience ig
If you really fear how your mom would react though, don’t you think that you could hide it from her even though taking hrt? Visible effects would take a long time and you could just manmode around her

>>44185674
I think what gives away a lot of manmoders/hrtreppers is the skincare/improvements we tend to make to ourselves. Now that I think of it, hrtrepping has barely changed my proportions but the skincare and exercise/self improvement has. I get clocked as a tranny not because estrogen did anything visible to me, but because I improved myself (coming out of depression). As long as you keep up what you are doing (same effort level) you shouldn't be very clocky as a trans woman.

>>44185696
sure of course, but I should think eventually it'd be obvious, or I'd slip up and leave something out when she visits, or it'd be something else. I won't be able to hide it forever, but I need find a way to accept that it's inevitable and move forward anyway.

>>44184983
not really anything out of the ordinary, i'll get stress dreams where i'm naked for no real reason and hate those
recently learned my dad had a really bad fall after hitting himself. that night had a dream that i was in my childhood bedroom, my parents were yelling about how much it was my fault he was like this and then i came out of my room and he was dead
i don't really remember them much though. like i remember waking up from a weird one yesterday but the details escape me
>>44185488
eh idk can hope that i'm able to make it less horrible for the people of the future so they don't end up like this. would be cool to die the last repper, ya know

>>44185718
Do you think maybe cutting contact would be the best option? It might sound awful, but I’m strongly considering this for me

>>44185724
it'd almost certainly be good for me mentally but it's not like I have a lot of IRL friends either so it's not something I'm eager to do.

>>44185711
I want to make those other changes too. At 36 I really don't know what I physical changes to really expect from HRT, and maybe I can never really pass fem, but holy shit have I never liked having short hair, facial hair, body and arm hair, dogshit skin, etc. I've already been shaving my legs whenever the dyphoria got bad, since I can hide it easily with long pants. I've always worn the plainest cheap clothing I could find while wishing I had a body that could sport something more expressive. I'm tired of not caring.

>>44185837
>how fucking pathetic it is to be stuck in the closet
not outwardly

>>44184983
Random stories. Need to write them down so I don't forget them.
>>44185078
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d96d3aE_p1o
>Yeah, I came to the gates of the fabled pink city
>Hungry, and tired, and mad as all hell
>Swing low, sweet jewel-encrusted chariot
>Make me young again; make me well
>>44185488
Be nice.
>>44185589
Cooming doesn't help anymore.
>>44185674
>yet somehow, amazon was recommending pink monster and women's clothing in large sizes
I'm not paranoid enough.

>>44185837
Reminder this is what /tttt/ really thinks of reppers.

>>44186015
tttt also thinks hons should just die so, whatever

>>44186028
i think i should die too

>>44186006
...yeah? we care about our outward expression and how people might react to that more than inward self-actualization and the chance to be something more, hence why we rep

>>44185837
What about HRTreppers? Do we count? I am somewhere between cis man on estrogen and manmoder, do I get bumped up to manmoder?

>>44186086
I think you win then most empathetic youngshit award.
Sorry that I am a lateshit troon (21.5 start of hrt).

>>44186028
>trans people think hons are bad optics and should die
>cis people hate trans people and think they should die
>i cannot continue like this
∴ i should be given an easy, painless suicide

>>44186099
>21.5 start of hrt
you are baby (27.8 start of hrt)

>>44186120
I meant 20.5 actually, but I am cooked by height so it doesn't matter. I am 181 cm tall, maybe 1.5cm shorter at most since starting (I didn't record the time of day, so I have no clue whether that is peak or minimum height).

>>44186132
you have a decade of youth ahead of you to feminize and live your life. in time you will be simply a tall woman. I know it's hard but you have time

>>44186126
I was told that Heighthons and hrtreppers (I am both) can post here. I am objectively a troon, though I am a cisgender transexual not a transgender transexual so basically cis for all intenents and purposes.
>>44186119
I wish I could get one too. I am a non-BDD neverpasser, basically Soph 2.0 if she didn't have rich parents.
>>44186159
It was already over at 14 when I reached 5'9". Heightpill is 10x worse than bonepill. A 5'0" man with 1.6 SHR, 1.2 WHR could dress up and get mistaken for a woman 9/10 times. Even cis women my height don't pass very well.

>>44185314
>>44186182
You are definitionally not repping. You do not belong here, whine about your problems somewhere else.
>>44185482
>almost 6' tall
>almost
hahahahaha
fuck you

>>44185837
>>44186015
I agree
>>44186064
yeah we're pretty much subhuman

i'm 6'5 do i get a prize

the anxiety attacks about wasted time are getting worse i really actually need to stop repping before i give myself a heart attack

>>44186443
:(

>>44186406
3 inches taller than me award
I'm genuinely really sorry though that sounds awful, being my height is bad enough

It is possible to be tall and pass
It is possible to be short and not pass

>>44186469
6'2" isn't bad. Having height privilege is much better than being a short shit or an average shit(5'7" to 6'0"), especially for a repper. I bet you could find a wife or husband who lets you crossdress privately easily.

>>44186541
It's possible to be tall and pity pass because you intimidate people. It's impossible for an estrogenized 5'4" tranny to not pass. Even 5'11" is enough to auto scare people.

>>44186563
I'm 5'4 or so and I would not be able to pass

>>44186563
>It's impossible for an estrogenized 5'4" tranny to not pass.
I'm fixing to prove you wrong soon.

>>44186572
Larp Larp Larp Sahur. Anyone your height can pass, even non estrogenized males.
>>44186220
Maybe I need to get off this board soon (but not now). I am less than a year on hrt (7.5 months E2 + 1 month progesterone) and if passoids are to be believed, I should wait 3-4 years before saying I am completely ngmi. Still, very bad results + I am a lateshit.
>>44186251
I am functionally identical to a repper. If anything, I am just proving to myself I should rep. Mid case scenario is that I will be trapped in transbian hell because I am an androphilic tranny who will have to date hons and gigahons as a heighthon. Being on this site isn't repping either.

>>44186617
I pity pass as a heighthon (heighthon=over 179cm) sometimes. It's because they are afraid, and see my slightly estrogenized features and panic out of fear. If you are actually a 5'4" hon, no one panics over whether or not to pity pass you.

>>44186657
trying to conflate being conscious of your repping with literally transitioning is idiotic, but obviously you know that and are just trying to ragebait me

9 years of hrt repping
Still too ashamed to come out

do not respond to fakereppers baiting

>>44186554
not quite as bad as 6'5, but it's still pretty horrible
Yeah maybe I could trick someone into falling in love with a repper, but ethics aside a relationship is not something I would even be comfortable with as a man.

>>44186747
Serious question, do you think I should stop taking estrogen? Stop complaining about being taller than me when we are both 99th percentile height wise. If your dysphoria is that bad then just take hrt. It's not like it does anything after 15 anyways.

>>44186832
What is a fakerepper?
If you aren't living then you're a repper. Hrt doesn't matter.

>>44186882
of course not, I don't think you deserve to end up like me just for being annoying

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It's actually funny how much dysphoria is just a product of masturbation addiction + memetic delusions. When you stop gooning to AGP thoughts, don't engage with trans shit online and start living your life, you will literally just stop wanting to be a woman entirely.

Proof: I've been doing this and I literally had a dream last night where I was a girl who was about to be tied up in bondage gear and assfucked but somehow, in the fucking dream, I was able to just say "stop, thats retarded" and started dreaming about playing Arma Reforger instead.

>>44186960
if only it was actually that easy

>>44186984
Be honest. Have you actually seriously *tried* not jerking off to AGP material? I don't necessarily mean nofap, as that might lead people to relapse and reinforce their addiction.

>>44187009
I pretty regularly go through lengthy periods of being too depressed to even have a sex drive, it doesn't make my dysphoria go away at all. When I do feel the urge I can get off without self-inserting, just not to women. I've tried forcing myself imagine sex as a man but it's always just grossed me out. This isn't something I've devolved into because of porn addiction either, I didn't start off normal even before I was exposed to anything.

>>44184983
>QOTT
Like 3 times now I've had incredibly realistic dreams about checking my phone and seeing that work got canceled, then waking up on time and just going right back to sleep for the rest of the day because I'm too tired to use logic. It's almost gotten me fired, my brain truly wants only the worst for me.

>>44184983
>QOTT
Boring most of the time but I have a few recurring ones
>travelling somewhere but everything is delayed/cancelled or the plane has to do an emergency landing and I never get to my destination
>I'm shopping in a slightly old looking thrift store and find all kinds strange items, usually stuff like weird old cassette tapes and stuff, other times it's stuff I've been wanting to buy irl but couldn't for whatever reason
>I run into childhood friends I lost contact with a long time ago and we go on adventures
>I get caught doing something embarrassing or I'm late for work or I have a test I didn't study for even though I graduated years ago or I screw something up or break something or whatever and spend the rest of the dream trying to fix the situation
and the more scary ones
>war breaks out, bombs start dropping people start shooting and I need to hide or run for my life
>same as the last one but it's a terrorist attack
>same as the last one but I'm personally being targeted by a murderer/ghost/demon/terrorists
I think I started watching the news too young.

>>44186960
I have never masturbated to any kind of AGP porn. In fact I haven't been very horny at all since my egg cracked but I'm feeling a little more together now and I feel some horny return slowly.
the thoughts actually started coming to the foreground more the more I fixed my life and if anything, masturbation distracts me from it.
the only sexual thoughts I've had about being a girl is that having a vagina would be way more convenient for getting fucked without having to rinse out my butthole every time or how it's both exciting but also kinda scary that men lust over you for simply existing when you're a woman.
I just wanna wear cute outfits and be called a girl :(

What's the difference between HRTrep and manmoding?

I really can't stand most trannies. Being part of this community makes me sad. There's nobody with sane viewpoints.

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>>44185589
Recommended daily drain

>>44188084
that's a thing
why is every tranner either a septum pierced communist sex pest or a cosplaying holocaust enjoyer with no in between?

Are there any good ways to throw my life away? I feel like there's not many paths in the modern world. You used to be able to join a mercenary or terrorist group pretty easily but nowadays it's almost impossible.

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>>44184983
i keep seeing deer and fawn in my dreams

>>44188896
french foreign legion still recruits

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I think maybe I have cancer. There's something fucking wrong with my body.

>>44187009
When you’re agp, all fap material is agp material. Even just a picture of a woman is agp material.

>>44188084
Are reppers really part of the "trans community"? maybe a few are but I'm not. I just feel like a mentally ill man observing from the sideline.

>>44184983
Just remember, u either rep or go to vegas to be a whore for ftm!

>>44189037
Yes, trans means having gender dysphoria. Reppers have gender dysphoria. Wtf is it with people saying you have to transition to be trans?

>>44189111
you wouldn't call every male virgin on earth part of the "incel community" right? a community necessarily implies a set of shared beliefs, not just a set of shared characteristics. i am a man with gender dysphoria and i am not part of the trans community.

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Does anyone else here struggle with schizophrenia or schizotypal personality disorder? I have StPD and I suspect that all the gender-related thoughts I have are caused by momentary psychosis and not any underlying dysphoria. I have concerns that if I will transition, I might end up killing myself later.

>>44189199
I hear voices nearly every day. No delusions or hallucinations.

>>44188934
I think the vaxx gave me some sort of heart condition
Too bad it's taking so slow to kill me

>>44189206
hehe samey

>>44189111
It means transitioning (medically). Cis men on hrt, hrtfemboys, hrttomboys, hrt reppers, and some manmoders aren't trans though so it isn't necessarily about hrt.

Bump for abstinence and PMO

am I trans or not. if I'm not trans why even transition. besides wanting to desperately.

>>44185190
>Kigurumi is repper culture
is it really?
>>44187894
i don't think there's any practical difference except that a manmoder would usually go by female pronouns in accepting spaces and maybe have taken some minor steps towards like presenting a bit more feminine while still having enough plausible deniability to claim that they're not trans

Holy fucking shit I actually did it, I injected everclear into my balls. Wasn't even that hard or painful to do.

>>44185488
this was posted and then lindsey graham died makes u think

>>44191250
Nona go the hospital.

>>44191335
I'll go to the hospital if I end up with further complications, so far there's only a bit of pain, numbness, and swelling.

>>44191438
No you should go now.

>>44191538
Anon why do you think I chose this method, it's because I had no other option, trust me I'm well aware of how mentally ill this behavior is.

>>44191250
>>44191438
>>44191588
please tell me this is a larp

>>44191618
Anon I am unfortunately dead serious.

>>44191588
Nona the necrosis could kill you. Go now.

>>44191672
Yeah I unfortunately can't unless I'm actually in immediate danger. Trust me I'll be fine.

>>44191697
and we're just going to act like you'll know if you get necrosis? you're just hoping for the best

>>44191769
Dude, tbhdesu I have no idea I'm just hoping It'll end up okay. Regardless I feel perfectly fine right now.

>>44189022
To me arousal is something that just comes when I (imagine to) take part in a sexual act. It doesn't really matter what role I'm in, I can be the woman or simply observe her. The fascination with beautiful boobs, hips and size differences is all the same. I don't really get enjoyment from doing shit *to* her but seeing stuff done to her is still arousing, if that makes sense.

Chat, is that gay

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Every time I try to cry, the anger and resentment takes over instead

>>44191824
Go to the hospital.

>>44184983
take your HRT, retards

>>44191250
Why? Is this some troon meme I'm not aware of?

>>44192027
damage to testicles means less androgen production

is there a path out of this

yea a few posts up

i'm too old for that

me too but whats there to lose

that doesn't make it not hurt

I'll obliterate my testicles and give myself possible necrosis and death but I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER take hrt (I'm not a troon)

>>44191990
nah I'd rather stay miserable because I'm retarded

>>44191990
HRT won't unrape me or turn me into an anthro woman.

>>44189199
No. Only psychotic depression. See a psych for, non-pinkpill reasons, crazy pills nona for the psychosis.

my head hurts so fucking much
why does it hurt this bad
is this my stupid fucking tranny brain giving itself a stress headache again or an actual medical issue I should see a doctor for
I can't focus on anything

>>44188934
Symptoms? Have a similar concern.

I wish I was a girl desu

>>44193346
same, but we will never be one
only man or tranny

>>44189199
Are you on an antipsychotic? I have Schizoid PD and I take Aripiprazole. It helps a bit, but you shouldn't be on them for long periods of time.

i'm not trans. i'm a straight man. i just wish i was a cis woman like my repsona is.

>>44193386
Is it bad to be on antipsychotics for longer than five years?

>>44193395
Sometimes, if you feel like you aren't improving it's fine to ask to switch them. I was on Olanzapine/Zyprexa for 2 years before Aripiprazole and it helped a lot switching. I am getting waned off them because I started HRT and that generally helped with my mental health.

>>44191990
i heard if you have to stop taking it it produces bad withdrawl like symptoms so you better have a lifetime supply ready

is the uber driver going to hatecrime me if he sees he's driving me to Tranny Hormones for LGBT Trannies Informed Consent Clinic

>>44193816
I don't think they really care as long as they are getting paid, but if you are worried about it put a different location within walking distance as the destination, like a restaurant or something

>>44188613
it's kinda like throwing up after eating something bad

>>44192027
It's not a meme it's my attempt at a diy orchiectomy.

>>44194355
Go to the hospital.

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I'm not even a troon. I just hate myself. I hate myself for not being masculine enough. I hate myself for not being feminine enough. I'd hate myself as a girl and want to be a man and I'd hate myself as a man and want to be a girl, I hate everything about this body I'm in for contradicting reasons. I am a cowardly self hating freak who should've been smothered at birth.

>>44194389
>I ain't no tranny, I just hate myself
my go-to cope for over a decade
it stops working eventually

>>44192661
This is unironically me

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I would be so much more tempted to even just HRTrep if not for these two stupid fucking bones and how long mine specifically are. God bless them for keeping me from nuking my already nonexistent life.

Are people actually becoming more homophobic or is Twitter not indicative of reality?

I've befriended the most obnoxious tranny ever. All she does is send me selfies and talk about how much better her life is. If I knew her IRL I probably would've gotten life sentence from bludgeoning her head into minced meat against a wall from how much I hate her guts. But I don't have the balls to tell her to fuck off.

>>44194468
The already homophobic have been radicalising for years but i think people will trend softer when MAGA dies with its duce and jd looks too flamboyant to carry the flame

>>44194468
They were always homophobic, they're just more brazen and open about it now.

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/ourguy/

>>44194745
The mister metokur video on him was my repfuel as a teenager.

>>44186015
istg repper fan fics are going to pop off soon because we are such an easy group to make fun of if you assume we all have the ability/means to troon
someone linked one here awhile back and it made me want to die

>>>/co/154615536
Why are femreppers like this?

>>44194799
Just joke about transitioning and do it so well that all hatred in the world disappears while maintaining plausible deniability... Then transition and end up a passoid anyway.

>>44194799
>someone linked one here awhile back and it made me want to die
do you still have it? i wanna read that lol

>>44191890
>Chat, is that gay
Depends, if done from a "creeping in the women's locker room" kinda way it's incredibly het, but under any other circumstances it is very sus and tends towards AGP

>>44194862
no this was at least a year ago my browser history doesnt go that far back
but im sure someone has made more in the interim, like that fucking rabbit show that brought repping mainstream

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I think I might genuinely kill myself. I hate being a moid and I hate the idea of becoming a tranny.

I genuinely have negative worth as a human being. There's no redeemable things about me. I'm not good at anything. The only things I think about are fantasies of things unreachable to me. What do I have to live for? To jerk off for another 60 years?

I hope there is no afterlife and it just ends with the death.

>>44194510
>>44194683
Most normies don't actually care is someone is gay though, right?

>>44185106
I have a theyfab friend who is one of the only people what knows I'm a filthy repper, and she says I'm a woman, but I'm still a tall, fat, balding, hairy man with a deep voice.
Woke genie ideology kinda sucks.

>>44194845
You have to be genuinely mentally ill (and not just a little autistic like us) to rather be a man as a woman. That output is just a little taste of said mental illness.

It's starting to strike me just how mentally ill I really am.

i shouldbe struck

>>44191250
holy based

Will hiring a prostitute to lose my virginity fix my mental illness

>>44195938
It won't

>>44184983
i rarely have dreams but i mean i did dream that i was a girl last night so

>this is all just some delusional thinking that will pass
>just like all the times I had these thoughts before
>but why aren't they passing this time?

I want to transition but it's like not enough to actually make me do anything

I want someone to beat the absolute shit out of me and then cuddle me afterwards

>>44195938
Nah it will make it worse. Prostitutes don't actually desire you at all so any self esteem problems won't get fixed. You'll probably feel worse because you'll be too nervous to get it up and you'll feel worthless afterwards. You need someone to actually love you for you, (almost impossible for people like us) so we get to suffer until we die. Sorry.

Who else /religiousrepper/ here? (not repressing for religious reasons though but if you are it's cool)

I'm starting to spiral again bros

>>44197080
I want to believe that Jesus loves me
that he knows all the bad things I've done and will do
and that he still thinks I'm worthy of salvation
if he actually met me, I'm sure he'd tell me to fuck off to hell where all the trannies go, but let me dream damn it

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>>44197080
No but I'm heaven coping.

How do I even know that I'm actually trans? I don't even know if I have dysphoria. I think I just spent the last 20 years watching anime daily. Mostly cute SOL stuff. My brain associates those idealized lives with being a girl. Is it just my brain coping by saying life would be good if only god didn't fuck me over? I wouldn't be lonely, I wouldn't feel worthless, I would have friends and people who loved me. I sure as fuck wouldn't have spend my whole life khhv. I wouldn't go to bed every night hugging my pillow wishing it was someone, anyone, there with me. Is that gender dysphoria or just delusion?

>>44196224
i don't believe they'll pass it's just do they hold importance even and why can't you live effortlessly

I would ask for money to buy hrt but that's begging and that's a 3 day buddy.

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>came to fantasies about being a woman and having sex with my loving husband again
I'm so disgusting...

>>44195095
They do. Male Homosexuality is stigmatized so badly, but lesbians not so much. Even around "woke" people, I have to say I am bisexual even though I am a gay. Women will freak out if they think they can't control you.
>>44195195
My sister is a theyfab and they have been one of the most encouraging people in my life. They helped me get on diy hrt and is also the only person I am out to irl. Sometimes, you need to do things for yourself and they probably don't want to feel like you are being forced on hrt.

>came to AGP sissy cuckold interracial hypno porn again

I feel great!

i think instead of becoming a tranny i will become a shut in and then i will kill myself.

i just don't know what to do anymore

>>44198443
Whats wrong with that? Masturbation is perfectly normal for healthy adults.
>>44199470
Troon out
>>44197765
Maybe try posting your discord tag or something. Someone would definitely be willing to help.

>>44199872
I'm just gonna save up a buck or two a day until I have enough. i would feel bad if someone gave me money for hrt and I didn't use it.

>jerked off to male POV smut after 2 weeks of female POV smut
Bye fags I'm cishet again.

>>44199931
If you want my help, (less than $200) I could definitely help you buy some. HRT does so much, but also nothing.

My discord username is larplarplarpsahur61

I'm a 24 year old stereotypical neckbeard and I have a mini panic attack every time I think about what I look like. I've seen many reppers and "hons" on this board over the years and I have yet to see someone worse off than I am. I don't want to die but I'm very tired of working every day just so I can crawl back into bed at night and dream about having a different life.

>>44200860
it doesn't get better

>t. 36 year old stereotypical neckbeard who works every day just to crawl back into bed at night and dream about having a different life

>>44199994
hi can you also give me 200 dollars i promise i will buy hrt i prooomise

>>44199994
watch out
this guy grooms

>>44201664
I am not a groomer, lol. I barely use discord at all.
>>44200860
I can guarantee I am uglier than you. It's not completely over.

>>44195938
yes mr. caulfield, it will fix all your problems
>>44200860
have you tried getting into anime

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>look up informed consent clinics in my area
>contact one and jump through whatever hoops and blood tests
>emotionally deal with being hondosed and move onto DIY
>start working towards the life I've always wanted
vs
>fail at repressing as I have been
>life continues spiraling due to stress as it has been
>41% in silence and agony
>"here lies He Him Mr. Manly Masculine Anon Sir with body hair and cock and balls, who shoulda manned up more like a real man oughta and channeled the pain of being a man into hating women and minorities instead"
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO CHOOSE THE FIRST PATH
WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?

I like my therapist she is nice and I feel good after my session with her even though I don't like therapy

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aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i dont wanna feel this anymoreeeee
but if i dont thats fake
i dont wanna do this anymore
but theres nothing else to taaaaakeeeeee
[aaaahahhhhhhhg
aaajagjnnngfffdddd

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I need to move across the country so I can kill myself without bothering my family.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sapZxLNNVfQ

>>44202459
>evens, throw away another evening by playing video games until I stop feeling anything at all
>odds, actually look up clinics, then get ice cream after

>>44202917
same desu

>>44202917
same

Stupid retarded autistic nearly 30 year old NEET somehow feels like as a grown man he needs to get mommy's permission to troon out (this is because he is stupid and retarded and autistic and a neet)

>>44204009
Literally me

>>44204034
I just don't want her to be upset, she doesn't deserve that

>>44204047
Yeah I feel that, I'm already a failure in every other regard. I don't want to burden my parents with a tranny freak son on top of it all.

My dreams used to be nonsense. Your standard array of nightmares, exploration, and strange scenarios. They were meaningless to me. Now my dreams are weirder than they've ever been before. They make sense.

>>44202459
>>44203617
>top SEO result is a known scam
>but got the contact info for a couple of legitimate known institutions with brick and mortar offices
holy fuck how was such a simple task was so difficult for me to accomplish
my hands are still shaking

I am going to lie down for a bit

the next step, whenever that comes, will be a lot harder

>>44204252
i will be here rooting for u

>>44204252
go nona go!!

>>44196735
this is my attitude towards literally everything and it's ruining my life

>>44204305
>>44204316
thanks
WAGMI

can't call myself a tranny until I've really committed to transitioning
but this is the first real step I've made in so long

>>44204506
Good luck nona, but I'm definitely not gmi.

>>44204506
the first step is always the most difficult:)
keep up the momentum

>>44204506
also you have me researching clinics now too >.>

>>44202459
lol nigga thinks going somewhere signing a simple form and getting prescription is jumping through hoops

>>44201334
>>44199994
>>44199931
kek i don't know weather to buy hrt to get a new computer

>>44194411
>it stops working eventually
Ah shit. Guess when that happens it'll be my time

>>44204996
I don't know what the modern process is like. I assume there is some kind psych eval and blood test to make sure you aren't the bad kind of crazy and won't die from taking it. The last time I seriously looked at the process was a very long time ago, and it was very different then.

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at the beginning it was out of sadfaggotry but now i think I cut so I get to do makeshift bandages. i'm thinking of going deeper just so i can make more elaborate ones, with cotton, disinfectant, wrappings/tape etc. a foid would do it out of earnest grief, not out of first-aid autism, which is why i'm male and that's okay.

>>44185026
that sounds amazing, any tips on lucid dreaming?

An ancient memory I'd forgotten. I was playing Fallout 3, maybe a year before the release of New Vegas, and made a female character for a second playthrough. A voiced NPC in that town with the nuclear bomb in the middle addressed the player character as "miss" and it fucked me up really bad to hear that.

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>>44205074
xDD (≧◡≦) this is probably the most autistic (and artistic) reason to self harm i love you anon

I really wish weight loss didn't take so long. I'd be better if I could lose this weight before starting E, but that will also take a nebulously defined amount of time...

I was femboycoping successful last night, but this morning I was hit with full on "i was meant to be born a woman" thoughts

>>44206316
I'm trannymoding today cos I don't need to leave the house. Have covered my mirrors so I don't see my comical appearance and I can just imagine I look good. I'm sure a spoon is going to make me want to die later but I'm fine rn

>>44206316
the lion ignores those thoughts

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>watching youtube slop
>damn, he's hot
>"watching with my girlfriend"

>>44205035
yeah they have to be lgbt supportive too and if you stray from the script they're giving you anti psychotics

>>44206574
>antipsychotics
Nta, do those actually do anything to help? I'd take them if they did tbhon.

>>44206590
yeah if it's caused by psychosis

>>44204379
how do you care more

>>44206596
But if it's just being impatient they do nothing?

>>44206596
Can't tell if I'm psychotic or not but considering I'm the anon who injected everclear into my balls, I've probably lost it.

Love getting drunk first thing in the morning.

I bought some womens underwear online and they arrived today and I feel so fucking disgusting. I can't stop imagining the people at the store looking at my name on the label and laughing amongst each other. Why is such a simple thing so shameful?

>>44206836
It's ok anon. Step back. I'll protect you from those clothes by wearing them so you can't.

>>44206836
I'd say more men order things for their wives/girlfriends than fucking disgusting AGPs ordering for themselves so they wouldn't pay much attention
that and most packers are brain dead anyway

>>44206836
>>44207069
>order something once
>someone sees name and emails asking why i need womens stuff since it was for a woman not a man
>you could tell it was a woman given how hysterical they were being

>>44206971
Too late I panicked and wrapped them in like 5 garbage bags and threw them down the garbage chute.

>>44207187
>>44207187
Relatable. I've thrown away HRT a couple of times now...

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I want a hug but I

>>44202364
I watched anime when I was younger but not anymore
most shows just aren't good now

>>44206697
how're you doing today?

>>44207589
Still alive, aside from a dull pain and a nagging hangover I feel fine desu. Injected 1ml more into each testicle earlier today.

Tfw I had regular psychosis already so if I injected everclear into my balls my parents would just think it's normal psychosis and not gender psychosis.

IDK how to let go of my masculinity.

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>>44207652
just use scissors pussy

>>44207654
inject silicone tard

>>44207762
Destroying my balls wouldn't make me feminine in the least.

i want to die so much it never gets better whats the point my life is so miserable

>>44207762
if you're going to recommend it, do it yourself

Male to failed male transgender

>>44206574
my issues are anxiety and depression not psychosis so maybe I'll be ok...

>>44207689
Can't risk a hospital stay just yet anon.

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>>44185243
Does anyone in this gen actually wear those creepy silicone skin masks? As a kid I used to think that was half of what trans women wore.

Never seen any irl, thankfully.

>>44205074
Don't cut yourself nona.

ITS HOPELESSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>44204252
>>44204993
informed consent doesn't exist in my country only the healthcare system with long waiting lists i hate it

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>>44208577
Same here

Who here /forcerepped/?

>>44207970
you're more likely to be profiled for paraphilia than psychosis and those run of the mill psychs will not have the nuanced take of blanchard or serano to give you the benefit of doubt

the urge to have sex with a reptwink's butt

>>44208736
Same same. Shame there's no filter on grindr for reppers. I want to crack at least 100 more reppers before my body returns into the dust from which I was made

I wish I was a reptwink instead of a repfatass

>>44208925
gff yeah there was one specifically who posted on here and some other boards who was absolutely angelic but kinda retarded id kill to forcefem "him"

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>>44208934
why let your wishes be fishes?

>>44208977
food is the only thing that makes me happy anymore

>>44209000
maybe nicotine will make you happier and less hungry,,,consider,,,,

>>44208965
the jannies tongue my anus guy?

>>44209038
no that's not him

he always flipped off the camera if that helps you identify

>>44208977
nta, but paradoxically weight loss is more effectively done through portion control and better food choices in the kitchen than through exercise at the gym

>>44208736
Hi

i know it's really strange but i wish i could be a womyn

>>44209730
Niggas say this shit right before doing zero exercise

>>44210457
do both ideally
exercise for health, diet for weight

>>44209730
Yes, Calories In Calories Out is the main thing of weight loss, but muscles do actually matter. At every height and weight men (on average) burn more calories due to muscle maintenance so It can make sense to build those up and be at a slight calorie deficit.

can i still call myself an hrt repper after getting vocal surgery? i just got it for dysphoria relief, i still look 100%, i just sound like a 13 year old now

>>44210552
You have to go to mmg, they hate hrt reppers here

I've been taking HRT for years, got FFS, SRS, VFS, all the body surgeries, changed my legal name and gender markers, go by she/her publicly, only wear women's clothes these days, still a repper though

>>44211107
Not even close to the same thing as hrt repping. You shame HRT reppers who know they are ngmi

i've lived for too long, i was so sick, on the verge of death for so fucking long and now i've just been in stable condition for years......... repping shouldn't have backfired, i'm supposed to be dead by now, but instead i'm stuck with this decrepit body, i used to malefail all the time and i could at least relish in that, that time is gone and i'm just going to be some ancientshit permahon if i take hrt now as palliative care before i eventually kill myself.

>>44208485
very mormon-coded

>>44211107
this will be me

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A server for autogynephiles without the dysphoria or euphoria.

Come home
https://discord.gg/NEyymfqkd

LET ME OUT

shitty day at work and all I could think about all day was making that appointment. What if all just sorta works out? What if it doesn't...

next week i'll go i promise

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im kind of jealous of you guys. if i could have enough privacy to get an appointment i'd have done it years ago. but alas, i had to be born broke, in the middle of nowhere to a rather intrusive family. but i guess it's too late to be crying about that now

>>44212828
it's never too late to cry, u could do it every day

>>44212828
Iktf, same situation here

>>44212828
I probably could have made the appointment on my phone, but I'm a millennial so big decisions and purchases can only be made on a big screen

I hate psychology and therapists and wish death upon them all because if i spoke to one they'd read me like a book and i'd have to murder them because i'm 100% normal and sane.

>>44208577
DiY does exist though.

>>44210457
for a 5'9" man the difference between very active and inactive is ~1k cals, which isn't nothing but it's way easier to just choose to not eat that

DIY orchis are true-trans coded. I would never put a knife or needle to my genitalia. Faketrans af desu.

dummy, i put a blade to my genitalia just last night and i'm not trans.

>>44213219
knives are scary i don't even like to hold sharp things

>>44184983
I had a dream that a boy loved me years ago, and I've never forgotten about him. He had brown shaggy hair and a big grey hoodie, and we cuddled on a mattress in my childhood home.

>>44185243
>>44208485
this nasty westoid shit is not comparable to kigurumi

I am physically large and it feels very bad

>>44213446
that sounds like a nice dream

AGPs: there is a way you can "get" a female body and do whatever you want with it. It's called getting a girlfriend.

>>44212098
Why would you make the invite last so short? You think you're gonna find people like that in a dead thread on a dead board on a dead website?