> t. 22y/o 5 years hrt boymoderi'm ripping off the festering bandaid that is boymoding later today, mostly by giving out my name to start. i'm terrified of how i'll be made to feel over the coming weeks depending on who finds out.to those of you who have been through the so-feared "humiliation ritual", are you much better off for it? and how you did you handle it in the moment? pretty standard questions for a tranny board but i need to talk about it.i'm almost certain my sister will weaponize this against me by telling the rest of my family before i can get ahead of it. she knows i'm a tranny but has grown into a horrible and spiteful person since. i feel somewhat an abomination at the idea of having to see an old man who used to know me when i was young in a few hours. i dont know how i can possibly face my relatives. i still feel compelled to hide my face forever and that's what boymoding granted me. i cant think straight sorry that my text isnt fembrained tm enough
Why is your sister such a bitch?Is it because you're hotter than her?
>>44222541i dont know. she acts like a live laugh love neopagan middle-aged white woman now. super into the whole matriarchy idea so i fear she might turn radfem. not familiar with the pipeline. i've failed her deeply as an older sister by not redirecting whatever led to this.my bf says i am but he would wouldn't he. she's not a looker, put it that way
>are you much better off for it? and how you did you handle it in the moment?i feel this is a sort of difficult thing to meaningfully answer; everyone's circumstances are so different and what is good or bad for one may not be so for another.for instance my mother(? i think...i can't remember anymore) told my entire family, surreptitiously, before i worked up the will to do it myself. in the moment this felt traitorous but ultimately it made things very easy for me, when each person approached me about it, instead, and expressed confused support and asked me what i wanted. it was a weird time, for sure, but not as difficult as it could have been. if it were up to me, i'm not certain i would have come out, when i planned to. i am also obviously very lucky for having a supportive or at least indifferent family, except for, at the time, my father.i came out to my parents with extreme difficulty, and basically couldn't even say what it was i wanted to; my mother had to needle me with guesses until i admitted that i was a tranny, or at least gender-dysphoric, then. i drip-fed my mother my tranny thoughts, after this, knowing that she at least cared.hopefully this is useful to you...if you would like me to expound upon anything i can but i am not sure there is much more to say.
>>44222693no that's helpful thank you. i guess if it did get out ahead of me i can see it being more weird than harmful. i just really dont like weird s_s. my situation is a bit odd because i told my mother seven years ago and it's mostly been silently taking hrt since back then with rare (usually drunken) reminders. how did you feel about it being made sort of more real than before? did you feel that way? i've waited so long that it's hard to mentally put these two halves of myself back together. makes me feel a bit sick actually. i mean i assume you went from just having the idea in your head to it kinda suddenly being your reality and i don't think me starting hrt was as large of a recognition of that somehow. i dont know that i'm ready for it. i might be building it up in my head when it isn't such a big deal in the end. i dont know what to think. thank you
>>44222760>did you feel that way?i don't know...i don't think i did, honestly.when this happened (my family finding out, i mean) i had only been on hrt for about six months, so, like, basically nothing had happened. i didn't know what i was doing in the moment and did not even consider prolonged boymoding in front of my family; i knew they would find out sometime and in the moment i was just ecstatic about being on hormones at all. i had been waiting for six years, when i finally started at eighteen, and i think that this, the starting of hormones, was for me the realization of everything, more so than any of the social stuff.i don't remember what my exact attitude was at the time, six months in, but i know that for a very long time i was extremely insecure and self-hateful and ashamed, but i tried (after they knew), in my own way, to present somehow that felt like it compromised femininity and my disgust with anything that made me feel like a crossdresser, which meant mostly lots of tank tops and camisoles.i likewise did not see myself as a woman for a very long time. maybe this was a second realization, or reification, for me, when i realized around the four- or five-year point that i was living the life of a woman and that, almost involuntarily, i therefore was a woman. like, literally and actually and truly a woman. not whatever it was i thought i was. coming out to my family (or having my family come out to on my behalf, i guess) was sort of just a thing that happened, for me. my identity or sense of self/reality developed gradually.incidentally i had (have...) few friends so most of them heard years in advance online, because most of them only existed online, but for those that didn't i kind of just showed up dressed however and let them figure it out on their own because i was NOT going to tell them. it just felt like a thing i had to get over with, mostly.i hope this is coherent...i thought way too hard about it, probably. sorry for taking so long
>>44222569Am I the only one who is surprised that the cis are so,,, not okay?Every time I talk to my parents and siblings I'm surprised how much worse their social lives and mental health than mine.Honest advice is to adopt the perspective that you're doing it for their benefit, and any issue accepting it is a shortcoming on their end. You're just there to help. If you go into it with confidence then you'll get the best response and results. Often family members are worried that you're hurting yourself and destroying your future, and that is best dispelled with your own conviction nahmean.
>>44222871thank u>>44223054that kinda already is my perspective. i want to be more present for her to try to help her to be more kind and it's hard to be when i'm pretending.> that is best dispelled with your own conviction nahmeanyea and i agree i just dont think i have it in me today. >>44222474i feel so bitter at the thought of hearing my name come from her mouth just because i know what she could do with it. my prev. plan was eventually to move country, get married, and forge a new identity but im realizing i cant with a good heart outright drop these people. i dont know anything. bump
