>>44234224
>the slippery slope is real
Yeah, but it's also fun. I still don't understand why I didn't like men right off the bat, lol.

>>44234224
and that's ok

>>44234308
what advice do you have on liking men more? I was always at least mildly androphilic, and becoming more androphilic was an impetus in trooning out

But it fades every now and then

Ideally I'd always be into men but there is a bi-cycle that I do not like. But I'm also slightly insane and have identity issues where I can't separate who I want vs who I want to be even in terms of language.

Like the words of my thoughts and the pictures associated with them can be opposite. (Ex: "I want a bf" can mean picturing myself as a bf, and the opposite situation can also happen with thinking "I want to be a bf" and then I picture myself with a bf)

>>44234352
Unironically regular sex. Preferably with the same guy so you develop lust for each other.
Once you breach the meta-attraction barrier (like OP describes) it's a matter of time and practice to end up loving men because they're men and not just because it's hot in your mind to be railed.
>Ideally I'd always be into men but there is a bi-cycle that I do not like
It never fully goes away, but it gets less intense with time. Helps a lot if you fall in love for real with a man.
It's usually that you're into men sexually but somewhat-sort-of-kinda into women romantically. That gets shattered once you fall in love with a man and also once you realize that most women's personality is just incompatible with yours.
SRS also helped me a lot but even before that it was already rare and unremarkable. What do you think it's meant by 'fucking the boy out of you'?
>"I want a bf" can mean picturing myself as a bf, and the opposite situation can also happen with thinking "I want to be a bf" and then I picture myself with a bf
Me in 2018 as babytrans, lol.
The first guy I dated was a FWB. He didn't know if he was into trannies (but was open minded and willing to try) and since we knew each other beforehand we were a good match especially since he had just been out of a relationship and wasn't promiscuous.
A few months of him fucking my brains out and me actively wanting to be at least a permauke did the trick. I still didn't know whether I could pull a full binary transition, but I knew by 2020 I would be nobody's bf as a real man. HRT of course also helped, just as laser and weight cycling helped.
How could I be someone's bf when I was a hairless increasingly hour-glassy twink with boobs whose erections were rare and weak by that point? The bi-cycle as you call it got also easier for the simple fact that realistically there aren't that many women who are into estrogenized failed male with boobs who can't (and doesn't even want to) get hard.

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2.96 MB MP4

>>44234308
>I still don't understand why I didn't like men right off the bat
for me its because most men are not beautiful in the way women are, and i was looking at attraction like a straight guy. its like i learned to look at men through a different lense than women, i look at different things. and now i look at guys like a straight girl. a girl is hot because shes got a breedable ass and thighs and shes soft and delicate. if you look for that in men you wont find it. but a man isnt hot because of those, hes hot because hes got veiny muscular arms and a hard chest and stomach and a sharp jawline and he carries this aura of confidence and aptitude

>>44234352
idk, start thinking of yourself as a girl?

>>44234571
not op, but I'm desperate to be boyremoved by a man now that hrt is really kicking in 8 months in. How does one find a fwb?

>>44235042
why get an fwb when you could get a bf

>>44234648
>idk, start thinking of yourself as a girl?
big ask there when it comes to consistency

>>44234571
I do like men for men. It's just not the most consistent (and importantly gynephilia still comes up).

I also have a bf but he is not sexually assertive and I'm basically a virgin. I don't feel safe with hookups either so even if I wasn't dating him it'd be tough.

>>44235526
>i have a bf
>im basically a virgin
what kind of fuckass bf, or NOT fuck-ass boyfriend do you have girl?

>>44235526
>I also have a bf but he is not sexually assertive
Gotta find it in you to initiate then.
You think my bf was the dominant forcefemmer he is now 5 years later? Lol, no. He was afraid he'd harm me if he'd move on top of me, lol.
Knowing each other sexually is just as much of a process as is knowing each other on a personal level.
You're actually in a sweet spot. You two could grow together. But you have a role in this too. If you just wait for things to happen, well, they won't.
>it's tough
Everything worth doing in life is tough, nona.

>>44235603
It's long distance (we visit every two months) and also I have weird sexual issues from grooming/assault

>>44235648
Sex is fucking terrifying to me as-is unfortunately

>>44235662
low key im fucked up and life has not treated me well but at least i can fuck without reservations

>>44235749
I think my coping mechanisms basically inverted and also I just get really dysphoric

>>44235662
>Sex is fucking terrifying to me as-is unfortunately
You think it wasn't the first few times for me as well? In one of the first times I made a mess because I still didn't know how to prep properly and my fwb assumed I did because I had done it kinda okay the previous time. We laughed it off, cleaned it up and then tried again later.
Yes, there's a learning curve just like with everything.
Again, everything worth doing in life is tough. At least at first.
You can also ease things out by doing some anal play at home, get to know your own body first, learn how to prep.
Yeah, I'm sorry, but you legit come off as just wanting everything to be handled for you and then handed to you in its impeccable final product without you doing any effort. Sorry nona, but that's not how reality works. You gotta put in some effort too in order to get what you want.
It's also why I don't hang out in tranny spaces. Way too many trannies genuinely do everything except the most obvious answer and then get upset when I point out the obvious pathway.
I'm sorry you've been assaulted. I really do. But you can't let that cripple you for the rest of your life. There's got to come a point when you put yourself on the pathway to getting what you want.

>>44235811
I actually did a fair bit of solo stuff with anal play before, but a switch kinda flipped and now its terrifying? Last time I tried it I had a crying breakdown and it made me incredibly dysphoric for like a week.

I think it's just facing the reality of it all + religious guilt hitting really really hard (which was a major issue growing up too).

>>44235851
>I think it's just facing the reality of it all
Face it and then beat it. Yes, it really is that simple. Yes, it's not easy. No, there is no other way.
The only way is through. That works with any form of trauma, shame or other forms of internally enforced compunctions.
>but a switch kinda flipped and now its terrifying?
It'll pass. Trying it with someone you love and trust (hello, you got a bf!) will also ease things through. Yes, not in a day. Not in a month. But it will.
I'm sorry there is no quick fix. There never was. For anyone.
You think cis women who grew up religious have an easy sex life at first? Hell no. The stories a cisf friend told me make my fetish-driven transition sound easy comparatively. But she did what you will eventually have to do as well: walked through it. Because you must. You owe it to yourself.
Again, I'm really sorry if I come off as harsh but this is 4chan and I'd rather be harsh and give useful tips than be hugboxy.
Nobody can do this for you, no matter how much they want. It's not possible. Ultimately, you have to take all the steps to break away from the past things that keep you strained. A lover can help here and there (mostly emotionally), but that's about it. The brunt of the work is on you.
Think of yourself in 2036. You can be the same neurotic unstable mess as you are now or you can be way better. Staying in this neurotic compunction guarantees the former outcome.

>>44235963
frankly I think the only way to get over myself is to hook up with guys at a club, but I don't want to cheat on my bf. Sometimes I think I shouldn't have ever started dating him not because I don't like him, but because of this specific issue. I like him a lot but I question sexual compatibility.

>>44235989
>frankly I think the only way to get over myself is to hook up with guys at a club
Wrong idea because:
1) you can't get horny with someone you like and at least partially trust, but you think you can pull it off with some random dude you picked up 2hrs ago? That's crazy and you know it. Not to mention the physical risks (and I don't mean the STDs though that should be a concern too).
2) it's unfair to you, not just to your bf
>I like him a lot but I question sexual compatibility
You haven't even tested each other's sexual compatibility. Try that first before drawing such conclusions.
I was unsure even after a year with my fwb. Tbhon I'm still not sure if it would've worked out. Things were made easier because it was a fwb arrangement.
When all of this is new to you (as they were for me at some point), you can't make drastic judgments like that on a whim. I mean, you can, but the odds of getting it wrong and harming yourself (and others!) further are pretty high.
Oh, Snowmoder. How I'd wish you'd stop harming yourself. le sigh

>>44236280
The thing is, I have gotten extremely into guys I've only recently met. Like there was one guy I danced with last year that I was crazy into and another guy I talked to last week that I was also into.

It is just this neuroticism I think. Like the idea of being sexual with someone is easier if I don't know them well, probably from issues I had growing up.

>>44236391
>the idea of being sexual with someone is easier if I don't know them well
It sounds easier in the mind. Maybe even hot. But it's not easier in reality. And it will not lead you to a good place long term.
I cannot in good conscience advise you to be a pump and dump. I've seen what this does to people's heads and lives. Nothing good comes out of it.

>>44236444
Both of these guys I liked a lot in part because they were really sweet and nice to me. Like they were guys I would have loved to start a relationship with.