You could be happier being gay.

>QOTT
Yep. Two in fact. First job in late 2022 at the prime age of 32.

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>>44238846

I had multiple jobs
This shit just sucks

evens i do it odds i don't

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>>44238846
I don't know how many others are like me , but I have that tranny style voice despite not being tranny , skinny like a twink and can't gain much muscle even when trying , like I gotta be doing zero cardio and huffing protein to even remotely look big which is still futile due to skinny bone structure and being only 5 6

EVERYONE around me marks me as gay or has made a homosexual comment at one point, even my own mother once asked me. But they never press it / just hit me with the "just kidding"

It''s got ME thinking am I gay/bisexual and just not know it?

>>44238846
I work retail, aka I live in hell

>qott
first job in 2011, currently on fourth job in the same career

>>44239030
>am I gay/bisexual and just not know it?
are you aroused by men's bodies? and not just astolfo femboy boykisser shit, but grown men.

>>44238846
>QOTT
i worked retail like the another anon and i liked it desu, i obviously never came out to any of them but i never got the sense that they'd particularly care if i did. there wasn't much room to hate your coworkers because we had to rely on each other to get shit done; they'd make jokes about me being a white boy and i'd make jokes about them being black. if i was a tranny i assume they'd make jokes about it and i'd make jokes about them being men

>>44236792
starting to feel a little light headed

>>44239703
Eat something then

>>44239703
you could fix that in like 10 minutes and then eat

>>44238853
no not really, being a lesbian trans women is so much better. I just feel bad that I broke a dudes heart when I trooned out.

>QOTT
A few. I been to college, so all of it was "professional." That didn't make it fulfilling, obviously...
>>44238138
Thanks for sharing your situation. Glad you found something that works for you.
>>44238867
What have your old age jobs been?
>>44239703
Eat something anon. A piece of fruit or a cup of coffee.

>>44239757
>>44239776
I had a single piece of candy to try and get my blood sugar up. I should have had fruit or something but I was really feeling it the moment I stood up.

>>44239761
I don't understand why it's so hard for me. It's literally just clicking on the page and doesn't involve speaking with anyone. I think about actually changing my life and it's paralyzing. I've wanted this so bad, for so long, more than anything else in life, so why can't I take steps towards it?

you can do it nona. im rooting for you

>>44239855
you just want someone else to give you permission but the hard part of accepting being trans is realizing you don't need anyone's permission but your own.

>>44239855
Taking charge of your own life is terrifying and probably something I'll never be able to do.

>>44239776
>What have your old age jobs been?
I am the same anon >>44238138
First job was retail. Stuffing boxes in a large supermarket's warehouse. Hard labor but shockingly well paid (labor shortages rock, for once being in Eastern Europe is a structural advantage).
Then, as girljuice started having an effect, moving heavy objects became a bit harder so I realized that I do have some paper qualifications so I leverage those. I now work as a data analyst at a nameless faceless globohomo corporations that pays me really well for specialized turboautist linux shit.
I'm basically a stereotype tranny, except I didn't socially transition (and likely never will because I'm more malebrained than stereotype linux trannies).
I'm not fulfilled professionally (and likely never will) but that's okay because I genuinely don't give a shit about that. I'm not a Protestant and I don't live in a Protestant country. "Professional fulfillment" is still regarded socially as a sick joke that literal slaves believe to justify their soulless lives. I'm not kidding, this is a mainstream view here.
But damn it I am enjoying the rest of life way more. Whoever says "it's over" at 36... is full of shit. I'm more alive now than I've ever been between age 16 and 33.
>>44239855
NTA but click on it. Please. Better to regret trying than perpetually questioning.
Please don't be a retard for as long as I was.

>>44239855
it took me a lot of willpower to find the right place to get sent to a trans clinic. i had to tell five or six different people "i want to be a woman please help me". then they put me in a 6-month waiting list lol. still building the strength to inject myself

>>44239078
>are you aroused by men's bodies? and not just astolfo femboy boykisser shit, but grown men.

not particularly, it seems to be the twink/trans variety at the very most , the thought of playing with someone else's penis to ejac feels hot, maybe giving a really sensual BJ, but I'm not particularly keen to recieve it in the ass or anything

>>44240057
I think the involuntary movements men make when they climax are super hot, but not enough to seek out a hookup.

>>44239855
youre building it up too much and its causing paralysing amounts of pressure
just see an appointment as an appointment, it might work out or not, either way you'll be fine

>>44239078
I am aroused by feminine men and I only want to be fucked in the ass by them

>>44239977
>this is a mainstream view here.
It's good that it is like that. I like to think that even in burgerstan younger generations are starting to wake up this, which is why our corporate media needs to invent bullshit terms like "quiet quitting" and "hyperwork" to describe "refusing to perform unpaid overtime" and "having multiple jobs to get more money"

I have archived threads (both here and on reddit from 4-6 years ago that I go back to just because anons said it's obvious from what I've said that I'm not trans. Doesn't anyone else do this.

I think gay men unironically hate their partners. But the same could probably be said of all men. Historically they would murder the people they fuck.

>>44240119
ugh yes , moreso from men's cocks then women either. It actually feels rewarding when they act feminine about it - that i

>>44240424
>im a misandrist and i think im so special for that

>>44240422
Not really, thinking back on it I think people have generally been more intent on pinkpilling me for like 12~ years. Even now as an old fuck if I post measurements someone will say "take your pills, alice", or similar.

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What's a good first job to get as a mentally ill alcoholic repper? Been neeting for almost 7 years at this point and want out.

>>44240447
I'm not that much of a misandrist. It's men that I'm still defending in this case.

>>44240498
botox injector

>>44240546
i suppose that would provide good practice with needles for when you later end up using them on yourself

>>44240424
If your sexual fantasies don't conclude with being killed then what are you even doing?

I'm very mean to a tranny acquaintance of mine, because I'm very very jealous. I wish I could tell her how highly I actually think of her. Alas, I must keep up appearances.

very lonely start to the weekend

>>44241134
sure, the margins are also out of this world if you're in the us especially and if you do those at home botox parties at someones place? i mean you need customers, but if you have them it's a lot of money. neuromodulators themselves are very cheap, unless it's xeomin which is used for people who have built up resistance, or want to avoid building up resistance. so what hurts your margins is really the venue.

do reppers shave?

>>44241583
I got lasered and take dht blockers. Lackluster efficacy if you got high dht levels, or regain high dht levels.

>>44241583
I have a beard. I'm fine with this. It hides how hideous my actual face is.

the people saying hrtreppers aren’t real reppers are retarded tbhon
hrt does literally nothing and I will still look like a male for the rest of my life
maybe it’s different for young or luckshits but I thought we were all way past puberty already with testosterone having raped us

>>44239703
trouble sleeping, and a strange numb sensation in my hands. trying to figure out if this is something i should ignore or not

>>44241755
>hrt does literally nothing
not true. but results vary on pre-existing bone structure, age and genetics. I HRT repped for a while and I grew sizable tits.

>>44241755
aww poor girl, i think you got lost
>>44232883
here sweetie <3

>>44238846
I have a comfy nepobaby job. I feel kind of bad about it but it's like the one thing I have going for me I'm not going to give it up. I feel like it's compensation for being born in the wrong body.

>>44241767
maybe I should have been clearer that hrt will work for
>young or luckshits
if you’re lucky you will literally just start looking like a woman
hence why I can’t take proud dryreppers saying
>iwnbaw
seriously anyways

>>44241773
idk, maybe? manmoding feels more like an act for trans women which I don’t know whether I’d actually qualify as ? since I couldn’t even pass if I tried and will need multiple rounds of ffs, rib remodeling and clavicle reduction at the very least

>>44241856
oh, so you could maybe pass after surgery? i don't see boymoder general up now, but maybe you could start it, unless you want to stick with mmg for now. hrtrepping is just made up nonsense manmoders and boymoders like you somehow get into their pretty little heads. hope that helped <3

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>>44238846
>QOTT: Have you ever had a job, if not why?
I did 2 days as a cleaner, and a couple of years after that was forced to work for my neetbux in a grocery store for 13 weeks. Since then I've been neet and it pains me to say I'm probably one of the longest serving neets on this entire website. I'm too much of a chronically sad person to hold down a job and I live comfortably enough for a single repper so I'm in no hurry to change this

>>44239030
> am I gay/bisexual and just not know it?
I actually struggled with this for a long, long time, but the simple fact of the matter was this: I never, ever "check guys out" when I go outside. I have zero interest in seeing them naked. Regardless of whatever else I think or feel, the simple fact is I'm not attracted to men in a real sense, only in some vague, fantasy imaginary sense, that's more based on my self-loathing more than anything else, and I've done sexual things with men too over the long years just to confirm it (I didn't enjoy it a single time)

>>44241916
I can’t quite tell whether you are a retarded dryrepper or a normal tranny tbhon
>oh, so you could maybe pass after surgery?
like, yes? obviously? my bone structure is the most raped thing about me, without it I could pass with just makeup, self-care and voice training.
do you seriously believe there are people who couldn’t pass even with surgery? that’s just ridiculous lol

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giwtwm

I wish I had someone to cut me then spoon me afterwards

Im normally mostly attracted to women, but this morning I woke up wishing I was a youngshit with a bf

I know transition timelines are complete bullshit 95% of the time but they still oneshot me bad, and I don't seek them out sometimes they just appear on my 'algo

>>44240546
Wouldn't you need some type of qualifications to do a job that involves anything medical related? I'm basically a bumbling retard.

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>>44242016
they havent invented height reduction surgery yet

>>44243790
For your information, they have - in fact - invented height reduction surgery. It’s called amputation of the legs

>>44243825
Looking into this, is wheelchairmoding the new meta for heighthons.

>>44243825
enlightening. thank you nona.

>straight/"bi" men micro scrutinizing other men's behavior for the crime of being potentially "zesty" like they're Joseph McCarthy

For whatever reason that just makes me want to cut my dick off out of spite and never associate with men

>>44241612
>I got lasered
How do I build up the courage to do this? I'm already on dutasteride but the idea of walking into a laser clinic as a whole ass man is horrifying.

>>44244278
I've been told that most places have queer-friendly laser clinics, and that even then straight ass men getting hair removed is not as uncommon as we might believe.

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have you looked at it from a different pov like instead of asking how similar you are to being a woman ask how dissimilar you are to other men and don't fit in/can't function at all

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should i do my e shot today (6'2)

>>44244586
Cute Lain fig

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Should I inject more everclear into my balls repbros?

>look in mirror
>Laugh at the idea of transitioning
>go back to my life

I am 30 and want to kill myself. Once my cope is impossible to do, the feelings of dysphoria and despair become unbearable. What's the fucking point of any of this shit. I am gonna end up taking hrt or killing myself in the next six months. I wasted my life, wasted my intelligence, looks, and personality, because of dysphoria and mental illness. I would love to just stab myself with a thousand needles filled with estrogen and die. But I can't because I'm afraid of the afterlife. So what. I just go progressively crazier for the next few months, then either take hrt or Kms. Wow what a future.

>>44238846
take your HRT, retards

I am so hungry

>>44245100
i'm too old

I'm repressing!!!

>>44243790
>they havent invented height reduction surgery yet
idk, how tall are you?
past a certain height you will simply be a freak of nature, regardless of if you’re male or female. that does suck ofc, but it barely effects passing imo.
t. 5’11” hrtrepper

>>44244825
Okay too late, already injected 2ml more everclear per each testicle.

>>44243511
In a lot of places you don't need medical qualifications for cosmetic injections, I can't answer for your jurisdiction since I don't know where you are. You should stay away from performing things like filler injections because of vascular occlusion risk because your lack of expertise could kill someone then, land someone an er visit with deformity incoming at best, or just impede aesthetic results if there's no vascular occlusion. When it comes to neuromodulators like botox if it's manufactured/stored/diluted properly there's not really much you need to know and you mostly just have to do the same three easy areas.

>>44242016
i think there's a lot of people who can't pass even with surgery, but if you're on hrt and can pass with surgery that's great news. you might make a lot of people jealous over at mmg queen <3

heads i transition, tails i kill myself

>>44245754
>>44243790
they have invented it, not sure if it's just 2 inches, or if you could do more

>>44246055
heads

>>44246096
i'm too scared to flip

>>44246122
then you already know which one you want the result to be nona

>>44246122
then back out, why risk killing yourself over a coin flip? or we could say i flipped it for you if you want

>>44244825
>more
uhhhrepbro

>>44238846
dropped out of highschool and never done anything since

appointment made
fuck it

>>44246244
Yeah I've done this multiple times. I freak out about possible infection or necrosis, but get too drunk to care and do it anyway.

>>44246300
great job nona

I wish that were me
I wanted to change my life but gave myself an eating disorder instead
fuck my stupid life

>>44239037
i work fast food, aka i live in super hell

>QOTT
My applications get thrown in the trash.

The one time I did get an interview, the chick conveniently left out that they weren't hiring highschoolers.

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I should kill myself via self immolation and horrify and confuse the very few people in my life.

>>44238846
Genuinely think the only reason I rep anymore is I have zero desire to be associated with trans men at all, not even as a NLOT. Even the cringiest or worst people from other demographics do not elicit the same disgust response from me as the average ftm does and I don't know why

>>44238846
ughhhh my parents paid for my rent and offered to pay for next months rent if i get a job. ive been on student loans and it ran out recently. since failing out of school, ive had 2 jobs and both lasted less than a month, one fired, one quit early cuz im retarded.

i need to get a job stat, i thought prostitution but idk how to get clients, i had one but i think hes losing interst, also hes broke as fuck, the other potential one i hate i hooked up with him for free and hes the worst. i got offered a job kinda on indeed, i think it was an automated message or something, but its pretty much the same job as the one i quit, but much worse, and i have to wake up an hour earlier, same hour commute, but id have to wake up at like 2:30am or 3am i forget

>>44246330
age height other relevant stats

it's 01:20 britbonger time
i'm in my big coat
got a can of coke
i got some duran duran playing
shitposting on 4chan
trying to ignore the nagging (you know what i mean)
not sure if i'll go to bed soon or stay up till 4 in the morning like usual
life is terrible but i am suspending my disbelief
(if that makes sense)

hows your day/night going nonas/anons
im pretty alright

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>>44246814
fkn shitty ass fkn shitty 4chan image system forgot to fkn add the image fk you moot jannies too YEAH I SAID IT COME GET ME
anyway
coke can :)

>>44246814
>hows your day/night going nonas/anons
pretty shit if I am honest, can't really focus on anything for more than a few minutes and have been getting tired very quickly when doing anything at all

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>>44246814
>it's 01:20 britbonger time
>i'm in my big coat
Let's go for a nightwalk

any midwest reppers wanna hang out with a manmoder? i don't have any friends and i can encourage you to troon if you want that.

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>>44245754
>5'11"

trying to exercise was a big mistake
I feel feverish and nauseous now

i don't know why i'm bothering when i'm a month and a week away from turning 25, i.e. the irrevocable damage done to my skeleton has already been set in stone, but i really think i might try hrt soon (just gotta find my ssn when i get home tomorrow so i can get through the crypto rigamarole as i've never done this before)

i won't ever pass, let alone try, but i'd rather nip my future body hair and continuing hairline recession in the bud, and if all hrt does is just make me look younger, i guess that's not so bad...

>>44247233
I thought like this for a very long time, but trust me, if you think it's too late now, you will regret not starting even more in ten years' time. Also you should really have your ssn memorized.

>>44247233
I'm 30 and debating taking on the needle, and the E will stop and reverse your Norwooding. The only thing really stopping me is whether or not I'll be illegally discriminated against at my workplace and fired or killed by my MAGA chud unironic Nazi father at said workplace when he becomes hysteric after finding out his son is a tranny. May just boymode and escape across the country to one of the 3 cities that don't make troon slaughter part of their municipal features.

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I am honestly so retarded for taking E without Raloxifene. I am a future gigahon in the making. My medical gyno is so noticable and I am not wearing a stupid binder. There should honestly be a legal limit to the age you can troon out. 20 is clearly too late. I ruined my life and the reputation of all trannies. I mentally detransitioned and now accepted IWNBAW, I am no longer trans. I am still taking E and P4 though, it just sucks that I will always be a man.

I am so retarded for falling for the social contagion of trans ideology. I am a mild dysphoric at best, 30 years people like me wouldn't have trooned out. I ruined things for young people and I am a spiritual agp boomerhon

>>44247516
if you're going to boymode and people notice maybe larp as if you've got diagnosed with prolactinoma recently

>>44246698
Mid twenties, 6'0 neverpasser. Never going to transition but hate having testosterone and a functioning male reproductive system.
>>44247696
Picrel is brutal

>>44247749
picrel is more of a pinkpill for me than any of the "take your hrt, retards" posts. like fuck you, why should you be allowed to do as you wish and advocate for others not to be able to do the same? oh you didn't get supportive parents who allowed you to go on hrt at 10? well the right thing to do is to die so you don't become an eyesore. we should also make the doctors bring out the calipers before we decide if the youngshits are qualified or need lethal injection i guess? it's just too much, if i'm going to rep or not i'm going to decide that based on my prospects, threats around me and how i feel about it. have nothing but contempt for the moralizing surrounding it.

>>44247919
It works on me (picrel poster) because I had the chance to troon out at 14. My dad was supportive and offered to let me transition, granted I probably would have been forcibly detransitioned after he died when I was 16, but at least I had the option. I gaycoped my way into years of brutal masculinization. I got on HRT at 18 and it did nothing. I fell for the social transition meme and repped for 2 years before trooning out at 20 again. I literally feel like a gigahon next to any real woman.

>>44247739
Not the worst idea, if it seems like a totally doomed foray I'll prob just use hrt as twink life extension technology and see if we develop troontech or all get killed by terminators in the next 10 years.

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>>44246037
>you might make a lot of people jealous over at mmg
why are you trying to get rid of me this badly. having to spend 150k in surgeries just to be an ugly tranny isn't really something to envy someone else about.

>>44247092
this wasn't meant to be a humblebrag. the bone website puts me at -1.31. I'm still pretty raped bone-wise.

>>44248470
that's a lot better than a lot of manmoders and if you live the us there's always blue state insurance. if you insist hrtrepping is a thing and you're not a manmoder then maybe argue a bit there telling them that they're really just hrtreppers... or you could just accept your place among your sisters over there <3

worthless fucking tranny made his mother cry

I feel like I've woken up from a psychotic daze, and yet I'm really tired. I'll see how things are in the morning before I make any big decisions.

stupid beard

i should cut myself but i won't because i'm weak and a coward

>>44246622
most successful pooners poon out and stealth up asap, then aim to have nothing to do with the community, no?

>>44249842
it's easier to cut than not though?
pinch yourself hard or snap a rubber band somewhere sensitive instead if you have to

>>44250033
>it's easier to cut than not though?
pain is scary

28 repper here. Started a new job recently, young coworker took me aside asked me if there were any pronouns I'd prefer so I'm clearly clockable as a troon or nb just in the way that I present myself. I might actually be able to stop repping soon as for the first time in my life I'm surrounded by people who are not racist and homophobic right wingers.

>>44250068
if so why do you want to cut?
just don't. there are better alternatives for all scenarios except wanting to mark oneself for all to see.

>>44250170
i deserve it

>>44250176
you don't...

>>44250087
are you one of those... "hrtreppers"? that's not a thing

>>44250201
"just in the way that i present myself" suggests to me no hrt, which is somewhat good news for them if they ever did troon out
us, on the other hand, look unmistakably he/him

>>44250201
Nta, I've had a couple people assume I was a tranny back when I still had long hair (no hrt, just skincare and dht blockers).

>>44250201
No, no hrt, just long hair, clean shaven, faggy mannerisms.

>>44250201
i was asked if i was trans the first time i visited the ward. 6' with full beard, shaved head and the most masc body possible.
behavior matters for those in the know.

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I'll never be a cute anime girl

>>44250423
Horrible life destroying fact.

>>44243001
As I've gotten olden I've started to care less and less about what gender my potential partner will be. I just want someone who will love me despite all my flaws. I'm tired of being alone.

>>44250233
I also have a beard but when I have my hood up Ive been mistaken for a woman from behind. My body languages is extremely fem apparently.

i wish i could love and be loved.

Should I grow a repper beard? I utterly despise the idea, but I feel like it might force me to finally let go of this tranny delusion I have.

you shouldn't. doesn't help and it's itchy.

are passoids even real

>>44250469
I doesn't work just like all repping, please troon out.

>>44250469
>Should I grow a repper beard?
Do what you want.

I have a beard because it actually softens my face and hides my jawline, also It means I dont need to shave. I mean I dont hate lookng male either, its more that I feel female.

>>44248604
>that's a lot better than a lot of manmoders
is it though? whenever I skim the posts there it reads like 50% humblebrags of the average tranny.

>if you live the us there's always blue state insurance
lmaooo have you tried telling your precious manmoders this? they might not know this! surgery for everyone! we can save the dolls!
where I live insurance can refuse hrt which is required for any surgeries, which they, again, can also just refuse. anything not primary sex characteristic is never covered. I have to pay any surgeries out of pocket, which is pretty much impossible if you aren’t born rich.

>if you insist hrtrepping is a thing and you're not a manmoder
what’s the difference anyway? I’m not out to anyone, I tried presenting more fem for a bit and no one gaf. I’m pretty much perpetually stuck being a man and no one as much as questions it, not even other trans people. I’m not a trans woman pretending to be male, and am functionally cis to the world. I see no reason to deny this.

>maybe argue a bit there telling them that they're really just hrtreppers
and why would I deny anyone else their identity? I’m pretty clearly retarded in some way and should not get to make that decision. Also went there once and tried arguing how I was a cis man on estrogen and they all took personal offense but couldn’t really make arguments against it. essentially they just decided I was a retarded lost cause or trolling.

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What if I just wear baggy clothes and put a bow in my hair

>>44250481
I'm too old

My beard grows back within a day I always have a repper beard.

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giwtwm

trying to convince myself reincarnation isnt real in order to not kill myself to re-roll

>>44250636
You only get to be re-incarnated as a cute girl if you suffer through this life until the end of your natural life span. If you kys you get reincarnated as a cockroach.

Is telling people you're going to kill youself for attention and never going through with it fembrained?

This is the most pathetic illness I swear.

Real illnesses
>I hear voices
>I can't walk on my own
>I can't make my own insulin

Fake illness
>I can't be a pink princess
>I don't have a fat ass
>I'm not anime

>>44250746
I'd rather have the top one, being an AGP is suffering.

>>44250762
It is suffering.
(still not transitioning)

>>44250746
I also hear voices. Telling me I'm a disgusting moid and no one will ever love me. Is it real yet?

>>44250781
It's real. But no one cares.

I'm drunk and I wish I had a vagina, I hate having a dick and want to chop that shit off.

>>44251117
Same
My dick is disgusting and way too big.
I hate having to touch it to masturbate.
i'm so sad.

>>44251134
Antidepressants help reduce the libido but they don't completely get rid of it unfortunately. Really I just want this thing removed.

I'm ears deep in work so there's no time to think about retard shit. The only thing that's bothering me is sexual frustration I can't work out of my system because no dick.
>let's read about men who lost their junk in a war or something
>the very first story ends in suicide
And then I come here and see these two idiots >>44251117 >>44251134 >>44251158

>>44251228
I don't care when FTM say they hate their female bodies. We're different groups with different desires. I can empathize with the incongruity of body and mind itself.

>>44251228
It wasn't directed towards ftm reppers, but as a male repper I hate having male reproductive systems I'm sorry.

>>44250547
unless you are an autistic neet loser at like 40 it isn't too late.

>>44251455
Honestly it would be easier if I was a NEET then I would have the privacy to express myself how I wanted instead of having to go into work every day and conform.

>>44251228
Usually I'm empathetic towards FTMs but shit like this makes it so hard.

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How are men supposed to cry? Curling up in just makes me feel like a pathetic faggot, or like a crazy person trying to imitate a woman. Hitting a Thinker is uncomfortable but is extremely manly and respectable in my opinion.

if drugs are so bad for you they shouldn’t have made them so fun to do it’s the only way I can take repping still hahahahaah

>>44251653
Curl up in my manly embrace and let it all out bro

>>44249686
after sleeping on it, the desire to transition is clearly still there, as it's been for a long ass time, but I'm now at a point where I think I could rep again for a few more years (and then probably rope around the time I turn 40...) but like, idk... I want to look into GLP-1s as well as estrogen now. I've done weight loss the normal way before, but it's slow and can be undone far too quickly. Weight loss would greatly help with a transition, with health, and probably also reduce my dysphoria.

is it over for me?
https://files.catbox.moe/3nqzmu.png
https://voca.ro/1azZaXKN9hhJ
(these are not lewd do not ban me jannies)

>>44252224
no it is not over for you
but it is comforting to believe that it is
because that means you won't have to put in any work if the task is impossible to complete

was out all weekend and am vaguely sunburned even though i wore sunscreen the whole time fml
anyway i haven't stopped by here in awhile and it's really helped not think about it. would recommend the same for you guys
>>44238846
yea i've worked software/data jobs since i finished college, i think part of why i'm trying to convince myself i don't need to transition is that basically everything other than romance i'm really successful at

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i didn't even have dysphoria for years before it came back in the middle of puberty, why am i trying to convince myself i'm anything other than faketrans

>>44253174
It's okay to be 'faketrans' though.

>>44253211
no it isn't, the only thing separating me from the ridiculous 60yo sissies is age and my gigantic rapist body

>>44253174
>before it came back in the middle of puberty
global rule 2

also do what you want with your body, or don't be miserable about it forever, but the more time you let pass the more you will regret it

Think i might just become a chaser (for both mtf and ftm), just live life as a bisexual pervert. "Theymabmaxxing"

>>44253275
i'm 21 anon, i've been dealing with this second wave for years by now
can't transition either, puberty raped me beyond saving

>>44253316
everyone thinks that, even youngshits. the waves of dysphoria you are describing never go away, and they will only get worse. ask me how I know

>>44251833
fuck fuckfuck the dysphoria is coming back and I feel like I am suffocating again uhgggg I hate this fucking illness

>>44250636
you won't be lucky enough to be human

>>44250502
>is it though? whenever I skim the posts there it reads like 50% humblebrags of the average tranny.
it is, before when there was just boymoding you had people like you calling themselves that, then when malefailures in hoodies became more of a thing people created manmoding and now when you'd all be hons if you didn't manmode we're going to call hrtrepping a thing because some might be less of a hon? let's invent ambushmoding, ogremoding etc as well i guess. reppers can be cis men off hrt.
>where I live insurance can refuse hrt which is required for any surgeries, which they, again, can also just refuse.
that's the whole country i assume? that's standard, but i thought it was worth asking. if you're in the eu you can also move to a different member state and get their insurance, but you might not be there either. if you're viewed as a cissoid man that's less employment discrimination to worry about so you can work on getting some compound interest! problem finally solved fr fr, i'm happy we could work that out! do you need help with budgeting?
>what’s the difference anyway? I’m not out to anyone, I tried presenting more fem for a bit and no one gaf.
do you think manmoders are usually out to anyone? i doubt it, unless they were forced to by some circumstance.
>and why would I deny anyone else their identity?
you already were with the dryrepping talk, so you can continue to do so in mmg.
>>44251228
boohoo, not everyone is going to cater to your sensibilitities, gonna go be a terf about it like so many of the other poonreppers? you didn't lose anything, you got a perfectly functioning set of organs, you're not getting treated as a man who lost his dick, you're just getting treated like any other woman. meanwhile you come here to denigrate and complain about people who wish they were in your position expressing different sentiments about what they want with their bodies? grow up, retard.

The world hates feminine people

>>44251653
I wish I could be with a man who isn't so terrified of crying

>>44253316
I'm 27 and still haven't transitioned and I don't even feel like I'm alive. Please save yourself before it's too late.

>>44254724
if amab

>>44254987
No it applies in all cases

>>44254283
>now when you'd all be hons if you didn't manmode we're going to call hrtrepping a thing because some might be less of a hon
what?
>let's invent ambushmoding, ogremoding etc as well i guess. reppers can be cis men off hrt
no like, are you alright? is this the type of stuff you start believing if you rep for long enough?

>you already were with the dryrepping talk, so you can continue to do so in mmg.
lmaooo. won't someone think of our precious dryreppers. you have your own flag yet? ideas for the dryrepper day of visibility?

>>44255004
you're not getting snuffed as an afab for wearing anything other than a tiny selection of apparel, or wearing makeup, or having a skincare routine, or having long hair while daring to not let get it matted, or for being too expressive with your mannerisms.

>>44255260
Those are the reasons why women are seen as inferior and victimized as much as they are

I did too good of a job repping and now nobody believes me that I want to be a girl

>>44255192
dryreppers aren't a thing, it's just reppers, +0.02 on bonepill btw, sure you won't fit in better in mmg? obviously i'm not alright, are you alright? no. nobody is alright here.

>>44255337
more like amabs are victimized for cultural appropiation of the holy afab

>>44254724
*Feminine AMABs, women are worshipped even pooners
>>44254780
Get over it, I cry all the time. Let go of what people think, the average person is a retard.
>>44253314
If you troon out on a trans person, you deserve to be raped for all eternity
>>44251228
Sorry you don't have a penis. If anything that's the easiest thing to overcome. If you weren't beaten in every day you will never pass as a man. You will never relate to male experiences. You are just a coddled little poon who thinks she will get "male privilege" from taking T.

people around keep acting really weird, like they know somehow. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want to deal with their shit.

>>44255465
Not when the idea is that feminine afabs are conveyed as more deserving of rape

kill myself.

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>>44247696

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>>44255976
I am trooning out anyways and nothing you can do to stop me. I see pooners every day and laugh hysterically. They will never be male

>>44251653
i wish i could cry at all. i just can't

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I wish someone would do picrel to me. I am an embarrassment to real trans woman as a heighthon gigahon repper.

>>44255799
the idea is that amabs in general are seen as more deserving of rape and death. it just gets even worse if you don't accept that you can never be a person.

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i'm 21. i panic bought two boxes of dutasteride. (i should have done this years ago.) i always thought i needed a prescription but i didn't. i've taken it for one single day. i don't think its enough. suddenly (again) i feel like i have to get on estrogen, now, now now now oh my god oh my gooodddd my bones are calcifying into place i need to do this NOW NOWW NOWWW THIS TIME I HAVE THE NEEDLES I HAVE EVERYTHING I JUST NEED TO DO IT

>>44256857
take your pills, nona

>>44256719
The feminine ones obviously are.

>>44256857
you got it where

sorry for being malebrained and agp and a repper and a future lateshit hon and autistic and annoying

>>44256857
dht blocker pipeline

Guys should I do it and transition, I'm 30 and don't work right now and am just living off of my savings (I have a significant sum so I could do this for a while), I thought I'd be okay with repping but it's becoming unbearable and I'm just extremely depressed all the time now

>>44257652
Unironically what happened to me, got extremely paranoid about mpb so got on finasteride then dutasteride, now I'm obsessed with this tranny stuff and injecting everclear into my balls. Tocd needs to be studied more in depth.

>>44257693
>tocd should be studied
100 percent agree i think a lot of good could be done from some genuine unbiased research on trannyism and I say that sitting here in my pretty sundress

>>44257693
it was there before, but my envy of women and desire to have been born female grew by like 500% once i realized the extent of my balding, which concerns me; do i really want to be a woman, or do i just have a simple fear of aging and no longer looking youthful, i.e. having some semblance still of possible femininity?

>>44258019
I really can't tell if the desire was always there or if I'm tricking myself into thinking it was.

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reflecting on how the past month of my life has been

Because of a literal dream I had one night, I compulsively obsessed over trooning, after nearly two decades of moderately successful repression, to the point of having nightly stress headaches, losing the ability to focus at work, inability to enjoy hobbies, video games, and finally culminated in a hunger strike to try and force myself to overcome anxiety and get on estrogen. Also my libido disappeared for an entire month which was really strange. I think most people would see this as psychotic behavior and send me straight to grippy sock jail and I am very glad it didn't end up there. It'd have been nicer if I actually had made that appointment. Maybe I should have tried alcohol instead of starvation... but it did make me realize a few things for sure:

>not some forgotten dream, I do still *really* want to transition
>weight loss would absolutely help with my dysphoria
>as would dressing better and hair + skin care
>can do voice training and other things while still on T

I see so much mixed information on how much impact the medical side of the transition really has to true 30+ lateshits, ranging from
>richfags can start at 40 pass with fat cycling and surgery
to
>it does literally nothing and you will be a hon at best or an 'optics nuke' for youngshits at worst.

I've come the conclusion for now that I'll start with more aggressive dieting and voice training, and try to get on E later, hopefully still this year.

>>44258076
Do you ever doubt your own memories sometimes?
>did I really promise myself I'd start HRT in 2016 while commuting to work?
>was a really writing blog posts in the 2000s about wanting to be a woman? The web archive has no record of those blog posts, and I didn't save any backups...
>did I really feel all that different from the other boys in middle school or is that a false memory?

>>44258172
>did i really obsessively think about how much i wished I was a girl in middle school to the point of mental breakdown

>>44258182
at least I didn't inject everclear into my balls nona

>>44258172
>Do you ever doubt your own memories
All the time to the point where I can't tell what's real or imagined sometimes. I'll go back to a particular memory and play it back over and over and scrutinize myself over it. I live in my head more often than in real life.
>>44258187
Nah that was me.

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>>44258187
>>44258196
Did anything come of that everclear balls thing?
What exactly was the intended effect?

>>44258217
My attempt at self castration because I'm chronically unable to decide if I'm really trans or if I'm just a mentally ill cis man, and don't want to deal with the ramifications of being wrong either way. So far besides the numbness and swelling, I've been getting these random cold sweats and feeling feverish but not sure if that's related or not tbhdesu.

>>44258251
Being Trans seems a lot better than being self castrated to me

>>44258447
Idk I'm just extremely mentally ill

>>44258251
Feel like i'm heading somewhere similar to you anon. I've been thinking about straight up cutting it off with a knife quite a lot recently. It's already covered in little razor cuts, but those feel impermanent.
Somewhat related, all the scarring probably makes me illegible for srs if I ever pursued that, but thankfully I'm never gonna.

>>44258744
>all the scarring probably makes me illegible for srs
That's literally the only reason I've hesitated for so long doing this, even though I know for a fact I'll never transition and am faketrans anyway.

>>44258768
I wouldn't recommend it (duh). It's more trouble than it's worth afterwards (i.e, cuts are itchy, but scratching is extremely uncomfortable for obvious reasons). I was just really drunk when I was supposed to only do my legs.

>>44258768
>and am faketrans
Imagine not doing what you want just because anons don't approve based on a wrong interpretation of the writings of a boomer 40 years ago.

>>44258812
>boomer 40 years ago.
If you're referring to Blanchard then that's not true since I think truAGPs are trutrans.

>>44258825
>trutrans
the very notion is illegitimate. You will grow up when you will finally understand that.
'tru', agp, hsts, mef, none of that shit matters. At all. The entire ideology is bullshit. What matters is the measurable science. Do you want it? And if yes, can you do it? That's it. That's all that matters.
Nobody gives af why anyone troons.

>>44238846
Repressed bisexual male with agp. What're the downsides of repressing my sexuality?

>>44258849
>What're the downsides of repressing my sexuality?
You're going to go insane. Slowly, then suddenly.

>>44258835
Spending a bunch of time on this board has very much helped me realize this. Everyone who transitions for any reason is valid. Detransitioners are just as valid too. Enbies, queer-spectrums, pooners too. And a person can have more than one reason and they are still valid.

>>44258835
I'm already in my mid twenties I'm grown up already unlike the teenagers that populate this place. I know for a fact I'm not really trans and just have something else going on. Injected 1ml more everclear just now into each testicle btw.

>>44258969
>the teenagers that populate this place
each board is different but I wouldn't be surprised if the average age on 4chan as a whole is about 38

>>44258993
If we're talking about this board I wouldn't be surprised if the average age is 16-20.

>>44258969
what's the plan if your testicles do die, calling an ambulance on yourself and worrying about the bill later?

>>44259145
>plan
bro is going to get sepsis and die. there is no plan

i was a mess and then i took hrt and im no longer a mess (unrelated) and now im wondering why tf am i doing this to myself i need to stop it and lock in

>>44259145
Damaging them to the point where there'll be no choice but to have them surgically removed.

ive found copying books helps me rep. and dissociate altogether. copying aristotles nicomachean ethics in greek rn ts peak. im monkmoding

>>44260014
do you do nice calligraphy

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>>44260059
i dont think so tbqh but i doubt medieval monks had

I had to go to the tyre shop to get a flat tire fixed today and I was so fucking glad I'm a repper I can just imagine going into the tyre shop as a hon wearing womens clothing and makeup they probably would have sabotaged my car and the tire would have come off on the drive home and I would have lost control and gone into incoming traffic and collided at speed with a truck and my body would have been destroyed beyond any recognition actually that might be nice

>>44260204
You're a paranoid schizo. They beat you up and maybe give you a black eye and that's it. Nobody sabotages cars you nutjob.

Kenshi Yonezu is a repper

>>44260211
Do you reckon i should try and get diagnosed I don't hallucinate or anything but my uncle was schizo so it runs in the family maybe I should do a fuck load of drugs to try trigger the onset do antipsychotics help with dysphoria?

>>44260240
I'm just joking around anon you're not schizo

>>44260243
Damn bro I got excited for a minute there it's kind of sad and pathetic to just have avpd and gender dysphoria it would be way cooler to be schizo I wanna lay in bed hearing voices telling me to do magic and then spray paint sigils all over my entire apartment and get brain damage from the fumes

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>>44258969
inject one metal prong into brain dumbass

>>44258835
if none of it matters then just don't troon
why ruin a perfectly good body
trooning has bad consequences

>>44260286
>if none of it matters then just don't troon
none of the labels matter. The measurable science matters.
>perfectly good body
of all the retarded copes i get to read on repgen, this is in top 3 best ones.
>trooning has bad consequences
Oh no. I won't be having children. And my liver will be temporarily affected by AAs the same way it would've been affected if I had 6 beers a week (i dont drink alcohol at all).

>>44260323
what science idiot

The science is ymnbaw

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>>44260274
Will be considering this.

I will never be an anime girl.
Thus, I will not work, get an education, or stop complaining about dysphoria.

>>44260329
what hrt does and how to use it - that's endocrinology (a branch of the science of medicine)
how close or far one is to the features present in the afab population in one's area (basic math and statistics - they do count as science)

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>>44260540
feels bad

>>44260620
don't fix what ain't broken

What if I inject HRT into my balls instead?

I want to be a magical girl

Honestly the best way to deal with this is to stop being terminally online. I know it's hard when your a NEET but I'm on leave from work at the moment so I watched Amazing Digital Circus and that made me spiral and start consuming trans media again. Then I read a bunch of trans visual novels and started posting here again. It kind of ruined my time off. When I take a break from this place and stop consuming trans media I remember I'm just a guy who's a bit feminine, but really it doesn't matter because I'm terminally single anyway. I'm gonna go read a book.

>>44260690
who doesn’t

>>44260758
there is nothing feminine about me

>>44260764
idk my dad probably

>>44260758
tadc is the worst thing to happen to someone who's worked hard to rep
>ha ha I would also resort to playing a character and having fun in this situation - that rabbit is literally me
>oh he wants to abstrACK because weewee bad - fuck the rabbit is literally me

Gay relationships have a pretend tolerance to them but the mask off vicious hatred becomes so apparent once hetero or bi competition comes into play

>>44260758
That worked for me for years until my friends basically interrogated me into coming out last year
Of course then they've barely acknowledged it since making me still feel closeted and stuck

I want to transition into a cute anime girl with a gigantic ass.

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>>44261327
>Gay relationships have a pretend tolerance to them
Running your mouth like this while you're a pathetic retard still stuck in the closet

>>44261892
I am not in the closet at all. I'm honest with what I like, meanwhile the norm in the gay community is saying that they're straight as long as they're the one fucking their partner in the ass.

>>44261943
>the norm in the gay community is saying that they're straight
Sure buddy, very believable

>>44261943
lol

I need $10 more to buy HRT. how do I get a tranny loan.

>>44262006
I'll give you $10 tranny dollars for a hour long video of you fucking yourself with a white monster can.

Wish I could associate female laughter with genuine joy instead of mockery

oh my god holy shit i am going to kms
last friday I went to the public library and for some fucking reason a lot of hair was falling out of my head and I sorta panicked and left it there cus what am I supposed to do take a whole bunch of hair in my hands and throw it away in the presence of everyone and when I came back today the cubicle where I usually sat was blocked by a broomstick this can't be fucking happening for months ive been going to the same exact cubicle without a single incident and the very first day something that left a very bad taste in my mouth happens they basically tell me to fuck off oh my god I was right the whole time they hate me they loathe my presence
well guess I'll say goodbye to reading and studying in silenc

>>44261776
wow litreally me

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>>44260540
yeah
i also say this

>>44262020
nta but I’d do it for $9

labor is so so evil. i deserve to be a cute girl and sit on my computer all day. if the world doesnt give me what i want for free then i will life off of others and then kill myself.

>>44263684
Way too based. Tone it down.

>>44263684
sitting on my computer is my cope for not being a girl, although if I was a girl tomorrow, I'd make like 3 youtube channels so I guess I'd still use the computer a lot

Being reminded trans people exist actually makes me more consciously dysphoric than looking in the mirror. I can go periods or moments where I like my body, especially because I work out a lot, or even accept being a man. I'm very fruity and comfortable around girls when I interact with people in real life or at work, I get the attention I want from men if I want it, so I don't feel ousted or alienated for being male really. But then I get online and my twitter feed is /tttt/ shit or I'm reminded trans people merely exist because it's all anyone talks about on EVERY SINGLE BOARD!! and I start circling the drain about if my decision to align with my biology is a mistake. This makes me believe a lot of this is just negative reinforcement from the internet, like being trans is in part a "social meme" and specifically being trans not the dysphoria. Dysphoria is obviously real. I don't know, I think a lot about how much dysphoria has been co-opted by transitioners. Like if you have it you just ought to get on hormones or ought to do all these rituals like changing your name and begging people to call you female. How they say "never rep" as if there's more "realness" to the decision to turn yourself into a 20th century science experiment

>>44263684
incredibly based take nona, if i wasent a fat retarded moid i wouldn't have to work to live. i hate being employed.

>>44265248
it's fine to actively manage dysphoria without a full transition, but complete repression will destroy you from the inside out

>>44265276
I go by something gender neutral and unashamedly wear cute twinky clothes constantly and makeup sometimes so if you call that managing dysphoria then I guess. I honestly haven't actively wanted medical transition in 4+ years though I pretty more philosophized my way out of that line of thinking

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I don't follow any trans stuff Im quite depressed in life got nothing going for me but enjoy growing out my hair and getting it washed and straightened in Salons is this repper behavior?

>>44265983
throughout all of human history there have been men with long straight hair. Do you want to be a woman, or a man with long straight hair?

>>44265983
Not nessisarily, but posting on the repper thread on a tranny board is.

>>44266025
You get it, im afraid people irl don't and find it off putting
>>44266032
I don't know where else to place my thoughts

>>44266087
>You get it, im afraid people irl don't and find it off putting
i had my hair straightened and my nails done once, it felt nice to be a faggot around women, but uncomfortable for how masculine i felt with my male body, the ladies are so nice though. i was knee-deep into repping at that point, but i wanted to go well beyond being effeminate in a hair salon. what distinguishes a tranny from a faggot depends on how far you want to feminize yourself and be perceived and treated as feminine. open up your mind and let the worms come in. try to picture how far you would go if you could. if the worms die out past going to a hair salon, great, otherwise, expect to come back here.

>>44266210
If I come across as one it whatever but I don't gesture like a fag and only talk with my hair dresser. despite being clean shaven seem like I have hobbies and look young for my age women just don't care for getting to know me.

>>44266271
ah my experience with hair salons is with very talkative hair dressers. would you feel the same if you had your hair straightened just by yourself? do you care at all about being in that heavily feminine space? (assuming your hair salon is all women, i've never seen a hair salon that isn't)

>>44266400
I get a long with my hairdresser she helped me figure out my hair. I just think it so cool looking but its not really paying off socially I probably just look unattractive even with long hair oh well...

>>44246300
appointment canceled
fuck my life

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>>44266482
maybe tell people it's because you like metal music? they probably will still give you shit

>>44266520
It just barely shoulder length and covers my eyes
and not I don't listen to that I don't need to justify it for those reasons.

I'm feeling sad

>>44266493
>>44246300
nona no... you were the chosen one, destined to finally escape repper hell

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>>44266680
not my choice. i forgot that decisions in my life are made by committee and not by me

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my demons are stupid fucking tranny faggot thoughts I'm such a fucking disgusting freak I shouldn't be alive

>>44266843
join the club
i've been resisting the urge to jump out of my window all night for roundabout the same reasons
like every night
i wish god wasn't cruel

>>44266843
Unironically I'm at constant war with the agp succubus over control of my mind.

>>44266699
you have to take matters to your own hands. go diy. take blood tests by yourself on clinics. rely on nobody. take control of own life.
t. eternal hrt repper who has never seen a doctor over hrt
it might be over for me but there might be a chance for you

>>44260758
like what visual novels? i kind of don't like anything thats just a boy crossdressing or whatever because it just reminds me of reality but i really like gender bender stuff where a guy actually gets turned into a girl

i keep going back and forth

>>44266879
>>44267368
Troon out. Troon out. Troon out. I am Lilith, the AGP demon. I will punish you for disobeying me

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>>44267843
Must not give in... Must resist

>>44267843
i dont want to rep but i cant bring myself to do anything

>>44266888
this is a good way to make the people around me even angrier

the fact that my only two real dreams or goals in life are trooning out and doing a bunch of niche kink shit makes me feel like the former is just an extension of the latter

if I can’t live out my sexually fetishistic desires based primarily around my own appearance, I don’t feel like I have much motivation to live

>>44268344
My only motivation to live at this point is fear of death, and the vague hope that somehow I'll eventually find a way to cope.

>>44265983
idk taking a shower every few days already feels like a chore

too upset to masturbate
even my copes are taken from me

How do trannies have the will to transition, I can hardly find the energy to get out of bed most days.

you can tell the gnostics are right about God because I am a fat ugly moid chud loser instead of a fat ugly foid chud loser

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>>44269555
the buddhists are right because one day i will be reborn as a girl

>>44269046
Honestly because your dysphoria probably isn't bad enough. It's a spectrum, some people have mild dysphoria and some people will cut their own dick off with a box cutter. Being on the milder side is probably preferable.