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>>44250990
>when he makes out with you as his pace increases, your mind goes blank and you forget about your past future as a man
>when he finishes in you, your personhood is destroyed entirely; there was already no going back to being a man after the snip, and doubly so after letting an actual man inseminate you
>when he leads you by the hand to the bathroom after, you can't even look at yourself in the mirror out of shame
>you sometimes feel "it" dripping down your leg if you walk around before putting on underwear (you had to throw out all of your men's underwear because you could no longer fill them out; you're flat down there now and will be until the day you die)
>when a man dates you, you start imagining what your whole life with him could look like; including dreaming about having his children despite you being a tranny with no uterus
And the worst part of all of this is that it's everything you wanted and needed all along. Every normal person will judge you as "that tranny fag" forever, and there's a grain of truth to that. The only reasonable option is to stealth to everyone except your partner, who will never let you forget that you gave up manhood to be his woman.

>>44250990
actually it's more humiliating to do all of this and still also be attracted to women

nothing has ever felt better than when I'm purely androphilic

>woman is when fem gay man offers masc gay man no recip gay sex

giwtwm

>>44251004
You can change whether you're androphillic or not?

>>44251040
Vicious bi cycle. I've had times in my life where not only am I purely androphilic, but actively kind of distressed that I wasn't gynephilic because of guilt issues.

>>44251008
The only gay one in this scenario is the tranny fag.

>>44251061
>but actively kind of distressed that I wasn't gynephilic because of guilt issues.
Kind of relate, but I've never actually liked women that way ar all, so...

>>44251665
It's a mess but frankly I don't even know how much of my sexuality is "real" because I felt tortured for it growing up in multiple different ways

This is genuinely moidbrained because real cis women fucking hate men and only hook up for financial stability

>>44251698
>real cis women fucking hate men and only hook up for financial stability
t. has never talked to women before

>>44251727
Literally the most common boomer joke is "I fucking hate my wife and i dont get any pussy from her."

>>44250990
nah it's more humiliating to be Pre-Op and still try to delude myself into thinking that a straight guy will fuck me

>>44250990
How is that humiliating for you tho

Here is another way to frame it: walking dildo gives you sexual pleasure

>>44251065
The top needs to get hard to fuck unlike the bottom, which requires attraction

>>44252142
I'm a walking fleshlight.

>>44251727
Women don't see 99% of men as people and only like the 1% for money lmao
t. Raised by women and work in nursing with all women

>>44251698
>>44252385
Most women love sex.

t. raised by women and have had sex with dozens and dozens of women.

>>44250990
>>44250998
Good girl. When a man cums in you, every last trace of your masculinity is destroyed. You’re now just a pathetic, feminized slut, your holes exist purely for the purpose of pleasuring men. You’re nothing more than a sorry receptacle, basically just a human cum tissue. And the worst part? You fucking love it. Your crave the feeling of being fucked silly, to be used and degraded like the little whore you are.

>>44250990
>>44251004
both of you are wrong,

it's more humiliating to do this and be attracted to both men and women, knowing as a tranny normies see you as less than either.

>>44252485
>still also be attracted to women
this does not imply a lack of attraction to men

>>44252485
>knowing as a tranny normies see you as less than either.
Wouldn't this apply to every tranny though?

>>44252468
Mean :(

>>44252468
Frfr
A cis women vagina is for babies
A trans woman vagina is a hole to be fucked
A cunt

>>44254652
Nah, they're both for the second thing.

When I met with my boyfriend for the first time irl we started kissing and he pushed his tongue deep into my mouth like he owned me. It took me by surprise, made my mind go completely blank, and made my clit start leaking. It was so embarrasing.

>>44255358
Does he still do that to you?

>>44250990
theres nothing more humiliating than watching all your cis friends get attention and small talk while you're an invisible background character
>>44251742
real

>>44255660
>while you're an invisible background character
Isn't this a skill issue?
The real humiliation is when your cis freliends can get dates but you can't because cis guys run away when you tell them you're trans.

>>44250990
>when he tells you to put it in your mouth
He doesn't need to tell me, lol.
>even though the you from 10 years ago would be so disgusted with you for it
Very likely, yeah. And scared too if he'd know that's his future.
>close your eyes
What? No! Watching as he pounds me increases the chance of me orgasming from penetration alone. And I crave that too.
>when he finishes in you, your personhood is destroyed entirely; there was already no going back to being a man after the snip, and doubly so after letting an actual man inseminate you
Few people realize how true this is.
>And the worst part of all of this is that it's everything you wanted and needed all along
No, that's actually the best part.
I never suffered from gender dysphoria. I trooned for the fetish. But now I do "suffer" from gender euphoria.
>Every normal person will judge you as "that tranny fag" forever, and there's a grain of truth to that
Actually, not really. But I don't live in a country that's insane about trannies so that probably helps.
Also, most people will have never been in the situation to be the de facto husband of a woman and then be the de facto wife of a man.
>your partner, who will never let you forget that you gave up manhood to be his woman
Would do it allover again.
>>44252485
>>44251004
>it's more humiliating to do all of this and still also be attracted to women
>it's more humiliating to do this and be attracted to both men and women
NTA
I'm no longer attracted to women, but I was a straight man. Had a live-in gf too. Becoming a post op subby tranny is lowkey humiliating but that's precisely why I wanted that.
In the first year or so after srs healed I still had moments of "wtf am i doing?" either when I was blowing him or when he'd initiate sex unexpectedly. I kinda miss that inner tension.
But just as the brain adjusted to the physical changes of how I have to pee or walk, it eventually adjusted to this too.

>>44255708
real humiliation is being trans in a world w/cis women
>Isn't this a skill issue?
yea nah desu it is for me cuz my voice is fucked from smoking & rhino botched
like my personality is fine but im just feeling sorry 4 myself cuz im a bit wasted

>>44255746
thank you mefperv you are as insightful as ever

I think my mefy tendencies went away as I became a lot more guilty regarding sexuality tho

>>44250998
That's so agp or male brained. I never been ashamed of loving men and imagining having sex with them. I never thought about having sex with females it was repulsive and still is. Real str8 mtf would never feel ashamed after a good fuck, you feel so relieved and happy afterwards. Also men are nothing special once you been living as female for many years they don't represent anything else than an embarrassment and are deeply boring/disgusting.

The most humiliating thing about submitting to a man is the fact that moids are genuinely lower creatures, almost subhuman in their animalistic ways
I really wish I wasn't so attracted to those "people" I view as barely sapient....

>>44255708
>cis freliends can get dates but you can't because cis guys run away when you tell them you're trans.
also real

>>44255798
>mefy tendencies went away as I became a lot more guilty regarding sexuality tho
I think i told you in another thread too: you can't live your life forever making yourself guilty for every and anything under the sun. It's active self harm atp.
If I had your sexuality I probably would've skipped the "straight man" chapter of my life. I mean.... you fantasized about being boyremoved at 12 for crying out loud. MEF literally comes natural to you. Just embrace it. There's nothing to be guilty of. There's nothing wrong.
Some of us need a real man. That's okay.
>>44255800
I'm a fake tranny and i agree with you.
The afterglow after a good fuck is amazing. I just don't understand the whole shame thing.
>men are nothing special once you been living as female for many years
True. But you're on 4chan. Which is a creche. Babytrans Central. Most haven't lived as female even for a year, let alone more.
You're right. But give the girls time, nona.

>>44255634
He lives on the opposite side of the planet so I havent seen him since december :( but he would every day if we were together

>>44255906
>I just don't understand the whole shame thing
For me it was a religious upbringing where I had to unlearn guilt over doing something that would upset god and my ancestors

>>44255906
idk I think it was as part of an AGP thing idk I just remember reading something, shutting down, crying, and praying.

And I've gotten way more sex negative since starting HRT. It's horrid.

It's not that I feel guilty over liking men in a vacuum. I feel guilty for not liking men because I'm a freak monster with horrid autosexuality.

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Cumming inside a feminized failed male is so hot because I like imagining them becoming more and more saturated with my DNA and effectively subjugating and neutralizing their Y chromosome with my own, breaking down their male identity and rebuilding them as my "female"

>>44251698
Trannies learn the hard way. I was boy crazy, I still think some are insanely hot but I don't have any hopes anymore they are all the same. And when they understands you, they simply fem brained so repulsive too.

>>44255949
>I feel guilty for not liking men
No offense but you're addicted to feeling guilty, basically for no reason atp. Sorry but the cope about things that happened 15 years ago have got to go. You can't constantly let your past stand as evidence against your present.
>idk I think it was as part of an AGP thing
>I'm a freak monster with horrid autosexuality
Brainworms. Into the gaschamber with all of them. Yesterday.
Who the fuck cares if it's whatever-three-letters or the-other-3-letters. And there's nothing wrong with being a bit autosexual either. In fact, in makes mef work better.
>And I've gotten way more sex negative since starting HRT. It's horrid
That should've changed by now. How many months?
It happened to me too for about ~7 months or so in the first year. But I just bulldozed through by reminding myself that I am a hypersexual perv (which was true, is true and will continue to be true). Most of arousal is between your ears.

Men see you as flashlights. There's no point in interacting with such apes.

>>44255986
Well maybe I want to be one for the right man

>>44255977
Today is my 2yr anniversary on HRT. It's been very up and down in terms of sexual okay-ness. I think the general trend is down though. Part of it is literally just having memories I couldn't access that were buried underneath depersonalization.

But there are weird health issues too. Like my nerves are on fire all over my body. It flares up and sexual issues correlate with it fairly closely.

>>44255992
You can't have a masculine men who's also caring and understand you. It's antithetical. If they understand and care they are fem and you long for them. If they act distant, agressive, and giving you mix signals/treating you like shit with intermittent reinforcement you'll be all over them and will worship the fuck outta them. That's how it works.

T. Post op tranny who been trooning for 10 years.

>>44256019
You don't long*
Man*

>>44250990
>your brain makes you long for, lust for, and seek out a man despite decades of intense socialization trying to reinforce the opposite
that has nothing to do with being trans
>kissing a man, hugging a man, and holding hands with a man all feel extremely good despite being a former male
still male tho
>when he initates sex, your body feels hot and your fakevag feels empty for him even though you're supposed to only want a woman
its okay to be bisexual, ive never felt like im supposed to be with a woman tho
>when he tells you to put it in your mouth you do it obediently, even though the you from 10 years ago would be so disgusted with you for it
no i always wanted that
>when he pushes you down and sticks it in you, you give in, close your eyes and involuntarily moan instead of fighting him for violating your body
>when he holds your wrists with one hand and your neck with the other it's an intense turn-on, and you know you've given up at that point
>when he makes out with you as his pace increases, your mind goes blank and you forget about your past future as a man
okay
>when he finishes in you, your personhood is destroyed entirely; there was already no going back to being a man after the snip, and doubly so after letting an actual man inseminate you
i wish i could be this delusional too
>when he leads you by the hand to the bathroom after, you can't even look at yourself in the mirror out of shame
ok this one made me ijbol
>you sometimes feel "it" dripping down your leg if you walk around before putting on underwear (you had to throw out all of your men's underwear because you could no longer fill them out; you're flat down there now and will be until the day you die)
girl push it out thats nasty
>when a man dates you, you start imagining what your whole life with him could look like; including dreaming about having his children despite you being a tranny with no uterus
no man would want to date me seriously but im happy for you regardless

>>44256019
The real Chad is the guy who has well integrated his fem side really well. My bf can be both when needed. He'll be aggressive and dominant with me in the bed or when he is horny, but also a galant gentleman when we're in public. Just like I can be a turbosubmissive tranny at home, elegant woman when we're in public and a girlboss at work.
Your black and white thinking is way too inconsiderate of nuances and the complexities of functional humans.

>>44255959
I know where picrel is from! :)

>>44256195
I dated people with npd I guess I liked it.
> Girl boss and elegent
Cringe

>>44256223
Elegance is desirable.

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>>44255746
>He doesn't need to tell me, lol.
Are you sure you weren't a little androphillic all along?
>Very likely, yeah. And scared too if he'd know that's his future.
Ugh, yeah he would be on my end too. He genuinely believed that gayness was something that could be spread and he didn't even know what a tranny was.
>What? No!
He's girthy so closing them on the first thrust is involuntary for me just like moaning desu...
>orgasming from penetration alone. And I crave that too.
I would love to have this happen.
>No, that's actually the best part.
>I never suffered from gender dysphoria. I trooned for the fetish.
I wonder if it's more humiliating in your case, or for a dysphoric troon like me who never really could've lived life another way...
>I don't live in a country that's insane about trannies so that probably helps.
Must be nice.
>Would do it allover again.
Same.
>Becoming a post op subby tranny is lowkey humiliating but that's precisely why I wanted that.
Ugh, why did I want that too?...
>In the first year or so after srs healed I still had moments of "wtf am i doing?" either when I was blowing him or when he'd initiate sex unexpectedly.
I still get this often, which is why I made the post.
>I kinda miss that inner tension. But just as the brain adjusted to the physical changes of how I have to pee or walk, it eventually adjusted to this too.
It's honestly really cool that someone who wasn't dysphoric can adjust and live with a vag too.

>>44255816
>I really wish I wasn't so attracted to those "people" I view as barely sapient....
Being misandrist won't help you pass. It's honestly kind of gross to hate half of all people.

>>44255906
Not those anons, but
>Some of us need a real man. That's okay.
This makes me feel better about it all, honestly.
>The afterglow after a good fuck is amazing. I just don't understand the whole shame thing.
It's honestly mostly a fetish thing at this point... I don't think about it in the afterglow.

>>44256267
I guess you're an ugly hon
You sound like one

>>44256319
If you have no desire to be elegant than what are you doing?

>>44256341
I'm inherently elegant, I'm french and a youngshit
You just sound agp to me

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>>44255913
Do you have plans to move in together long term?

>>44255959
I wish all the gene absorption posts were reality and not just a fetish meme. I like the idea that once you submit to a man you can never recover your masculinity...

>>44256019
>If they understand and care they are fem
It must hurt to be this jaded. Most men care for their partners instinctually because it helps with successfully raising offspring together.

>>44256035
>that has nothing to do with being trans
True, that's why I said "straight" in the post.
>still male tho
How so?
>its okay to be bisexual
I've never once actually wanted sex with a woman.
>no i always wanted that
Based.
>i wish i could be this delusional too
Wdym?
>girl push it out thats nasty
Idk if I can do that. It's not a real vag.
>no man would want to date me seriously :(
Why do you think that Nona?

>>44256195
>girlboss at work.
I wonder if this is why I'm extremely subby at home. I have to be really forward and assertive all day at work because I'm literally a boss. It's nice to leave all that at the door and let my bf do what he wants with me and my body...

>>44256384
>french
>elegant
lmao
if you're a youngshit on the board you're innately AGP, otherwise you'd have better things to do

>>44256426
I'm old now, 26 I go there time to time
You most likely American and smell greasy. If I were you I would hide

>>44256434
The ESL is shining through at least.

>>44256415
>Do you have plans to move in together long term?
Yes but moving to europe is one of the greatest challenges in the modern world if you arent a somalian

>>44256271
>sure you weren't a little androphillic all along?
I don't think so. I don't regret at all having lived as a straight man. It was fun. And being blown was supremely fun. Knowing that made it easier to get good from the other end too. But it was a long learning curve to learn to enjoy it.
The downside is that I'm less incentivized to finish him off with oral. Halfway through I wanna ride him or for him to be annoyed enough to bend me over.
>girthy
Ig I'm helped by the fact that I rode thicker dildos and preferred thicker dilators right from the recovery. Again, since it was all for fetish, being able to take him no matter what and whenever he wanted was my number one priority.
>love to have this happen
How long since the surgery? I had my first about 9 (?!?) months after, but it was basically an accident. Took another 2 months to replicate. And another 2 months to finally figure it out what state of mind I need to be in and how my specific physiology works. I rarely get this in doggy or when I ride him. But it's almost a guarantee during missionary if I'm in the right state of mind.
You gotta discover it yourself by practice. SRS is also a work of art. We're each quite literally unique.
>wonder if it's more humiliating in your case, or for a dysphoric troon
I think for me because I could choose otherwise. In fact, I was not doing bad as a straight man. But then I chose this because it sounded really hot. And while I proceeded with caution and had off-ramps, the more I progressed the more I was like... "yeah, I aint going back".
>why did I want that too?
Towards the end of the process the motivation is the same: the permanency of it.
You and I started with different motivations but we ended up in the same place: we love men, we're feminine and we're subs. SRS is simply a good idea and it also clarifies things. There is certainly no doubt who is the real man in my house. And it's not me.
(1/2)

>>44256271
(2/2)
>still get this often
It will pass. Slowly. Or faster if you're profoundly in love and live together.
If he can make your brain turn into mush, eventually the brain accommodates to that and stops asking stupid questions.
Don't underestimate how plastic the brain is.
>someone who wasn't dysphoric can adjust and live with a vag
Again, the brain is pretty plastic. It can adjust to living with a bionic hand, or with extra weight (when one gets fat super fast), or with unnatural postures (like the ones used by people who spend way too much time on their smartphones). SRS is just one notch higher.
Funny thing: I was afraid I'd have troubles adjusting to peeing sitting or whether I'd rush to pee and forget to sit. It took less than 2 weeks. The stinging in early recovery likely helped, lol.
Walking was a bit more awkward (had a 15.5 cm pp). But once the pain subsided and I could walk more, it took less than a month till I forgot I was ever not-flat.
>I don't think about it in the afterglow
I do. Because I usually want one more round.

>>44255816
omggg this...

>>44256384
>>44256434
Lol. French are notorious for not bathing, not shaving, smoking cigarettes and just generally being smelly and gross.

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>>44256643
>Halfway through I wanna ride him or for him to be annoyed enough to bend me over.
I think that's normal, or at least I feel that way too... lol
>and preferred thicker dilators right from the recovery
How thick? I use the 38mm soul source dilator exclusivelyz and he still feels girthier to me...
>How long since the surgery?
3 years.
>You gotta discover it yourself by practice.
I'm trying. I can orgasm from penetration using a dildo but I can't during sex yet. I'm trying to force myself to only use that method to climax so that I can get better at it. I want to be so subby that I can only get to the peak of sexual pleasure by submitting to a man...
>But then I chose this because it sounded really hot
That clarity of mind is admirable, Nona. Wish my own transition wasn't so messy. Don't think I'll ever be able to fully separate the cause and effect of being a failed male and becoming a troon.
>the motivation is the same: the permanency of it.
Yes! And not just the permanency of "not having to worry about genital dysphoria anymore" but of knowing you're consigning yourself to a receptive role in sex for the rest of your life...
>There is certainly no doubt who is the real man in my house. And it's not me.
This clarity helps me be motivated to become even more feminine for him, if that makes sense?

>>44256764
>Or faster if you're profoundly in love and live together.
I definitely forget about these weird feelings a little more each time he lovingly plows me. Have you ever tried having a mirror on the room when you're with your man? I've been considering it...
>it took less than a month till I forgot I was ever not-flat.
Same. I've already forgotten what it's like to have a penis, and it honestly feels really weird to remember that I was male once.

>>44257815
>think that's normal
Maybe. But he's fine either way so it forces the choice on me. As a dude I found cumming in her mouth way hotter. Now I still find blowing him and swallowing hot, but riding him even hotter. Still, blowjob is the only times he submits to me. And that's hot too.
>How thick
Intimate rose has a 44mm one. Not that I use it anymore. I just have regular sex and ride normal dildos.
>3y
>can orgasm from penetration using a dildo
Yeah, training.
>so subby that I can only get to the peak of sexual pleasure by submitting to a man
IDK about that. I find it hot even when I don't orgasm(tho i usually do now). Sex is over when the man cums.
Also, there's nothing wrong if after a quickie I'll have to finish off myself. If I have the time. If not, we'll finish later on that day. It's not like anyone gets to see that I'm horny (one great advantage of being postop).
>fully separate the cause and effect
Why do you care? I certainly stopped thinking about it even before the surgery. I wanted what I wanted. I got what I wanted. Yay! Time to enjoy it.
>you're consigning yourself to a receptive role in sex for the rest of your life
I don't like the word consigning. It has a negative connotation. I gave in to a deep desire that sounded crazy and turned out to be a great idea. It being permanent is a good thing, not consigning.
>if that makes sense?
Ofc it does. When in doubt, friendly reminder that you have a neovag and tits. Might as well make the best out of it.
In my case, even if I were to detroon. Detroon into what? A pooner? Like c'mon.
>mirror on the room
Like on the ceiling? That'd be quite extravagant.
I do enjoy looking at us in the mirror when we do doggy style tho.
>forgotten what it's like
Not fully. Arousal feels quite a bit like getting hard at first. Also, personally, I don't want to forget. And he doesn't want me to forget either.
But again, this is the difference between us. I'm okay with being 'amab female'.

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>>44257987
>Still, blowjob is the only times he submits to me. And that's hot too.
Idk, he's more vulnerable than usual with him in my mouth but I'm definitely still the one submitting to him, since it almost always ends with him controlling the pace with his hand on my head, and ends with him finishing down my throat...
>I just have regular sex and ride normal dildos.
I should probably just do this too. I really don't want to risk losing depth before I'm married though.
>Sex is over when the man cums.
Idk why but this concept makes me feel things...
>Also, there's nothing wrong if after a quickie I'll have to finish off myself
This is how it ends for me more often than I'd like to admit.
>I wanted what I wanted. I got what I wanted. Yay! Time to enjoy it.
You're so positive, it's admirable.
>I gave in to a deep desire that sounded crazy and turned out to be a great idea. It being permanent is a good thing, not consigning.
Maybe I didn't use the best word for it. Acceptance, maybe? Accepting that I'm a submissive person and that that's okay. SRS was partly about acknowledging that part of me as well.
>Like on the ceiling? That'd be quite extravagant.
No, like on the wall, like I could look over and see him plowing me in missionary and kind of learn to acknowledge that that's really me on the bottom getting used by a man. I think it may actually help some with the brainworms.
>Arousal feels quite a bit like getting hard at first.
I wonder how much this varies by technique used? I definitely still feel a little bit of that "blood flowing to my intimate tissue" feeling when getting aroused but it doesn't have that actual feeling of an erection anymore. And when I look down my privates don't look any different than they did unaroused (obviously).

>>44255959
This is a real thing that happens. KIND OF

If you get cum.in your ass it makes your own cummies less virile and reduced sperm count

>>44258374
>controlling the pace with his hand on my head
Nona, git gud.
https://badgirlsbible.com/blowjob-techniques
I'm totally serious. Read that link and try things. Make him scream. Also, you can finger yourself or use a dildo while blowing him, yk?
>finishing down my throat
Can't conceive not swallowing. Tho when we do 69 it can be tricky.
>risk losing depth
Oh, right. You're with the Thai technique which does have a slight risk. I personally don't care that much.
More broadly you should do it because it's fun. I stopped thinking about dilation issues 2+ years ago. But then again, I'm also hypersexual. I don't need to keep a calendar or keep track.
>this concept
it's not a concept, it's the truth. Every single person on earth (cis, trans, male, female, etc) when they say "I had sex 3 times last night" they absolutely mean that the male came 3 times.
>how it ends for me more often than I'd like to admit
Have him finger you and finish you off. Just be creative. It sounds to me that you're restricting yourself too much. Restrictions are for pre-ops.
>mirror
Go ahead if you think it helps. It can't really harm.
I prefer to look at him in missionary. Also, try all the variations - https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/g34656861/missionary-sex-positions/
More often than not I can see as he goes in and out. It's still lowkey surreal that I was dreaming about this in 2018 and now it's a common, almost banal reality.
If you have a big enough mirror, look at yourself as he goes in doggy. There's no way you won't like that.
>varies by technique
Probably, yes. not complaining. Plays well into my brainworm. Feels almost like getting hard followed by a feeling of emptiness, which is great.
>don't look any different than they did unaroused
Again, underrated benefit. Both in public (nobody knows) and in private. Since it's not visible, it was easier for him to accept his part. I want him to take me whenever he wants without asking regardless of whether I'm in the mood or not.

>>44255959
>>44256218
where is picrel from

i raise: being a (non go weirdo) repper and women wanting you but your penis shriveling up around them and guiding you toward bottoming for men but your mind still yearning for romance and sex with women but your body only becomes aroused by submitting to men and acting as a women for them,,,..

never happened to me btw i’ve laid girls lots of times

>>44259705
there used to be a nona like that on the board 4-5 years ago. she left saying she'd troon. a few months ago she briefly came back to ask for specifics about srs.

>>44259765
surely there are multiple of us here.
i maintain that i don’t have bottom dysphoria and would still like to top a girl *but* i can’t bring myself to actually fantasize about that and if given a choice i would rather just be a cis girl, obvs.
no cognitive dissonance there.

I love men. they're so great. I have some good boys in my life who got my back and a roster of hotties who long for the soft touch of a transsexual. love kicking it with the boys but also switching on whore mode

>>44259824
>surely there are multiple of us here
Probably not. Straight trannies rarely stick around on the board.

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>>44258687
>use a dildo while blowing him, yk?
How do you do that? Seems like it'd be difficult, lol.
>Can't conceive not swallowing.
Same. I've never not swallowed in my entire life, even when I did it to myself back then...
>Oh, right. You're with the Thai technique
Ah, it's lowkey kind of embarrassing when someone on here recognizes my posts enough to remember something like that...
>when they say "I had sex 3 times last night" they absolutely mean that the male came 3 times.
Yeah I realize that. I find it kinda hot that his pleasure is the most important and that my primary use is to give him that pleasure, and my own is secondary...
>Have him finger you and finish you off.
We've done this fairly often, that's how he made me climax the first time together after SRS desu. Currently though we're focusing on making my breasts more sensitive so he kneads and pinches abuses them while I use a dildo on myself (after he's cum in me obviously). It's gotten to the point where even brushing a nipple against something fully clothed is enough to make me yelp involuntary...
Restrictions are for pre-ops.
>More often than not I can see as he goes in and out. It's still lowkey surreal that I was dreaming about this in 2018 and now it's a common, almost banal reality.
I remember occasionally dreaming about that when I was like, 15, and then wake up horrified like I had somehow "become a fag". I think past me would be in shock if he saw what I do daily today.
>There's no way you won't like that.
I know I'll like it, and more importantly I know he'll like making me look.
>I want him to take me whenever he wants without asking regardless of whether I'm in the mood or not.
It's always nice to be reminded that other trannies like this too. It's something I'd never admit to a cis woman cause I figure they'd think that I'm still a weird moid.
Umm, thank you for talking to me so much Nona. I feel much less strange knowing these experiences and desires are pretty normal (for trannies.)

>>44250990
i dont get all that but yeah it feels good to swallow cum and or get creampied. men arnt supposed to do that so thus im not a man in a conventional sense.

>>44260384
>it feels good to swallow cum and or get creampied
Well yeah, it's only natural...

>>44260409
no it's not

>>44260414
Yes it is it feels really good. What are you talking about snoy?

>>44260432
it's not natural for a boy to do all of that

>>44260446
It’s natural for a dumb faggot to do it though…

>>44260486
no our place is to die and fertilize the ground because we deserve nothing more than death

>>44260338
>How do you do that? Seems like it'd be difficult
NTA but https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=673ccf19bb8c7
Just get one of those mountable ones and mount it on the floor or a pillow. I sometimes mount it on the foot of a chair.
>free use
>It's something I'd never admit to a cis woman cause I figure they'd think that I'm still a weird moid
I admitted it to 5 cis women (all close friends). One thought it was really really weird, one wasn't surprised and three confessed they work the same with their bf/husbands. It's really not that rare actually. Not for healthy sexually active couples anyway.
t. 7yrs post op

>>44260498
Holy fucking nihilism, why don’t you just fucking kill yourself already if life is le heccin meaningless you deplorable faggot?

>>44260506
idk I woke up today and chose severe depression

>>44255746
nona, I hope you see this somehow.
please find time to write to me at alexandra_st0[at]proton.me
Those of us older should find a way to collaborate in at least writing down what we've learned through our experiences because it's amazing how little real information is out there.
t. >>44260499

>>44260446
That's cool, but we're not boys though...

>>44260807
idk but I'm certainly not a woman
tried crossing that bridge and failed miserably

>>44260832
Your a tranny and trannies having sex with men is normal snoy, it isn’t a big deal.

>>44260872
I don't even think I'm that though
Trannies deserve good things

>>44260880
:( what’s the matter snoy? I find you kind of annoying sometimes with how much you sympathise with John 50s, but you’re a good person and I think you shouldn’t be so down on yourself. You deserve good things too

>>44260950
I sympathize with John50s because I can recognize how different social pressures shape people, and that it's really only a generational difference that enabled more people to NOT be John50s.

I don't deserve much. Even my body hates estrogen apparently with all the health issues I've had.

>>44260978
What sort of health issues can estrogen cause? I’ve been on it years and on stupidly high doses from not being able to do math (did like 4x as much as I meant to for years) and the only issue I’ve had was some brain fog for the years I had a super high dose.

>>44260986
Headaches, melancholy, dry mouth, chronic pain, weird panic attack issues.

It's directly correlated to my estrogen dose too which sucks. I've been paranoid of health issues too because of how bad they were when starting out and what happened with my sister.

>>44261009
I’m sorry snoy. Have you tried using blockers and a lower dose of E rather than a high dose monotherapy? It isn’t as effective typically but it might alleviate your issues. Were you mentally better off on T?

>>44261057
It's weird. I was better in some ways worse than others. I low dosed E for a little bit a few months ago and felt better until remasculinization started.

>>44261069
BiCa only therapy could help?

>>44261083
Mono-Bica sounds nightmarish but I've considered Bica + moderate E.

>>44261094
Apparently mono bica can give you low E levels through aromatisation, but even enough for breast growth.

>>44261094
NTA
>Bica + moderate E.
This works if you're not in a hurry. Though by that I mean "works" for my hrt femfag goals.
>>44261110
mono bica is dangerous long term

>>44261129
I actually probably crippled my breast growth anyways by quitting HRT for a bit after 3 months and then starting prog too early.

Still have okayish breast growth but far from what I want.

>>44261129
Ah I didn’t realise it was dangerous. I saw it was used for periods of 3-4 years as an alternative to GNRH agonists for puberty blockers.

>>44261190
>3-4 years as an alternative to GNRH agonists for puberty blockers.
jesus fucking christ!
I mean I did take bica as a teen (diy, 'cause hrt for minors was never permitted) but even just 6 months caused some issues.

>>44261250
What sort of issues? This was a case study I saw recently let me see if I can find it

>>44260338
interesting..
i learned to orgasm with my nipples once after i had a revision surgery and couldn't masturbate properly for a while

>>44257987
>there's nothing wrong if after a quickie I'll have to finish off myself. If I have the time. If not, we'll finish later on that day
NTA but this is so hard to do as pre-op.
Damn it, im ngmi.
t. femfag/attempting hsts

I love this genre of posts so much. Thank you based bottomposting philosophers.

>>44260499
>It's really not that rare actually. Not for healthy sexually active couples anyway.
I mean, I kinda know that it's not that rare already. It's just very taboo to talk about.

>>44260637
NTA but I wish there were a "sub HSTS”/"MEF"/"trannymaxxer" general. It'd be cool to meet trannies or make tranny friends with others who are like this... Being a straight post-op tranny is like kinda othering and lonely at times.

>>44261286
>i learned to orgasm with my nipples once
This is neat. I think my baseline sensitivity is low or something because I can't climax the same way it seems most girls are able to...

>>44250990
i got ffs months ago and now i get approached by men at bars. its the most exciting attention ive ever received, but somehow it feels annihilating ? do i just need boyremoval?

i don't understand why it would be considered humiliating to have sex as a female
i am proud after having sex with my bf since he loves me enough to try to get me pregnant!

also i think it's common for girls to be reactive rather than proactive in sex so that's not a problem either

>>44261930
>do i just need boyremoval?
Have you let a man rail you before?

>>44261941
I think it's the "tranny" part that's humiliating, not the "female" part.
>he loves me enough to try to get me pregnant!
This is a big part of why I love it when he finishes in me...

>>44261992
no every time i get close i just ghost him, im scared of men. i was with a handful of women as a man, and dated a woman after transitioning but got bored of her and left her, there just wasnt a sexual spark. but when guys touch me, like when my friend puts his arm around my waist, i get butterflies. idk what i am anymore its very confusing.

>>44262011
>but when guys touch me, like when my friend puts his arm around my waist, i get butterflies
I think you know what you are.
Have you tried taking it in small steps Nona? Like holding a guy's hand or hugging him long before kissing or sex?

I only even realized I was trans after a degrading rape by a schoolmate while I was doing drag as a joke. Then when I ran into him again years later, I hooked up with him willingly, craving the original humiliation.

>>44262093
what the fuck

>>44262093
That's pretty messed up, I'm sorry Nona.
Do you still talk to him?

>>44262099
>Nona.
Oh I'm a different poster, I only just joined this thread.
But no, haven't had contact in a long time

>>44262071
i think im afraid of intimacy with a man because of how brutally my father rejected me as a child for being too soft. their rejection would feel like complete destruction.

my last gf was worse than just the sexual mismatch described. she degraded me, stole my resources while being unemployed, sabotaged my transition like tried to convince me out of procedures, and then called me an abuser and tried trashing my reputation when i asked her to leave my apartment and that i couldnt pay for her life anymore (thankfully most didnt believe her and ostracized her instead). it left me traumatized and embittered towards women which is muddying the waters, idk if my growing feelings for men are natural, metaattracted, craving a fathers withheld love, or just a reaction to female abuse. its a main therapy topic.

this weekend a really nice man tried to male a connection with me while i was out with friends and while i really wanted to engage him i stonewalled him until he gave up. but i felt really bad about it after, i do think im ready to start exploring men as an option, but very slowly.

>>44256415
>I wish all the gene absorption posts were reality and not just a fetish meme. I like the idea that once you submit to a man you can never recover your masculinity...
it's partially true, look up anti-sperm antibodies. if you swallow cum or get cum in your ass your immune system starts attacking your own sperm and makes you infertile, it also causes women's vaginas to develop antibodies which reject only your sperm but not other men's.

>>44258931
from a work of art

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>>44262929
>it's partially true, look up anti-sperm antibodies
Nah, I've looked everywhere for this info and there's nothing listing that as one of the causes of anti-sperm antibodies. If you find that info though please post it here (I want to feel like the failed male that I am...)

>>44262095
lmao

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>>44262170
>i think im afraid of intimacy with a man because of how brutally my father rejected me as a child for being too soft.
That's definitely possible. I still struggle some with that fear of intimacy too, though for me it was because I was disciplined as a child by a teacher for showing gay tendencies. It's tough to work through but it is possible to make progress.
>which is muddying the waters, idk if my growing feelings for men are natural, metaattracted, craving a fathers withheld love, or just a reaction to female abuse.
I can see how that would make the reasoning for the attraction confusing. Let me ask you this though, Nona. If you found out 100% that you like men now because of the abuse from this woman, would that be reason enough to never actually pursue a man? As far as the trauma goes unfortunately what's done is done and you can only pick up the pieces. Maybe you do like men now because of that, and maybe that's okay? You're allowed to pursue the gender that you like, now in this moment. You don't have to justify to others why you like who you like.
>and while i really wanted to engage him i stonewalled him until he gave up. but i felt really bad about it after,
I did this too as a repper... Definitely sounds like the fear of intimacy that you mentioned. Maybe next time, if a guy approaches you could be prepared to at least speak with him some? Or better yet, maybe it's worth being the one to initiate a conversation with guys so you can do so when and where you're ready?

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>>44250990
I hate the 'failed male' stuff, i just want to be a normal girl. another one of the reasons I prefer celibacy honestly

>>44261908
This… would def love to join such a community too.

Dating is a humiliation ritual you don’t know what you’ll get as a straight tranny it truly is awful I wish I was gay

>get attacked by a knee jerk reaction from a insecure moid
>bisexual who wants me to top
>repressor who is skin walking me
>ghosted by insecure moid
>get dumped for a cis girl
>oh you aren’t marriage material since you can’t have kids
>bisexual who is more concerned about my cock than me
And that’s not even dealing with the regular red flags men have like being dirty

>>44250990
>>44250998
Need extremely badly, unfortunately; I am a non-passing lateshit

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>>44264306
anon i told u...

t. Selvaraj, Kamala; Selvaraj, Priya (2014). "Chapter 24: Immunology in Infertility". In Rao, Kamini; Carp, Howard; Fischer, Robert (eds.). Principles & Practice of Assisted Reproductive Technology, Volume 1. JP Medical Ltd. p. 311