21f I have a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend. we are both unhappy but I feel like us getting together is a horrific car crash waiting to happen. We are essentially cheating on our partners at least emotionally, and spent a night out together which was so romantic where we got drunk danced to music in the streets (lcd soundsystem and stooges) cuddled each other, told our deepest and darkest secrets, and cuddled together in a sofachair we found on the side of the road as the sun came up. afterward we went back to mine and spooned and fell asleep.we haven’t know each other long, only a couple months, and we had a really intense beginning to our friendship, and I had thought I had gotten over that emotional turmoil, but now I'm not so sure. It definitely feels unhealthy, and I can see my dysfunctional brain feeding on this high, but it has to stop. She is the first best friend I have had, and I feel like we fucked it up and I haven’t even told my partner about this. I don’t think I can ever. I have no friends I can talk to this about either, because they don’t like her, or they will judge me for my infidelity, so I feel like I'm holding such a large weight on my chest all the time.
well, sounds like someone's having fun...
>>44256967seeing her soon, and I am so excited to see her because I love hanging with her, there is a part of me that is hoping for more of this but I feel like i should die for feeling like this I think im manic. I think I should just become an anchor and live my life secluded forever
>>44257075>I think I should just become an anchor and live my life secluded foreverNobody deserves that. If you trust your partner then you should let them know how you truly feel. I'm sure they'd understand. I think you also need to talk with her about all this.
>>44257267you are right. I should talk to my girlfriend about how I feel. I am quite unhappy in my current relationship, and as much as I love her as a person, I'm just not happy in the relationship as it stands, and havent been for a while, as I have expressed before to her. a couple months back, I told her that I wanted to break up, but we discussed it and stayed in the end. I feel like alot of the reason we are still together is sunk cost fallacy, and we have changed so much as people its hardly recognisable. I think the long distance hasn’t been easy for the past few years, even if now we are in the same city. I am hoping to have a more frank discussion with my friend too, because as much as this is all very fun, this can't last at all, and I want to keep her in my life, as she means so much to me. I cant stop thinking about what she said that night after I kissed her on the cheek "not on the lips, because that would ruin everything".
