this is going to be retarded and disorganized, but to make a long fuckin' story short, i abused stimulants for over a year (in a desperate attempt to extinguish my libido & associated thoughts of identity). and it worked, for a while. got very thin, 51 kilos at my lowest too. however, the consequences are still apparent, 4+ months after my last dose. basically i have an overwhelming urge to urinate, nearly 24/7. it is miserable. the sensors responsible for providing telemetry data to my brain, they are completely shot. even a sip of water makes me feel as if i've consumed a gallon. furthermore, a voiding ultrasound & urine sample revealed no obvious issues. they said it was the meds, and i'm too scared to go back.some of you think this is "cute". it is not. every waking second of my day, 35% of my cognitive resources are permanently allocated to needing to pee. it feels like there's piss inside my brain. muscles responsible for my bladder have also been severely damaged. i have actually cried a few times, when i get relaxed and i piss a bit in my pants. not a lot, just a few drops. it's not fun, it's not cute.the "god" i had prayed to for relief, did not care. sick fucker.
>>44295370ket is one hell of a druggood luck with the k cramps tho
>>44295370brvtal. have you improved at all in the 4 months?>>44295385i used 3meo-pcp to try to extinguish my identity and dysphoria. wild times. i fully recovered but the dysphoria came back too.
>>44295370somethingsomthing trans girls and diapers
>>44295385wait whai did take ketamine (as spravato) but that was last in december... >>44295511not really, no. i have to plan my day around it. i cant relax fully at all. >>44295648i'm not going there. that's vile
>>44295662but they make them really cute nona
>>44295370i'm confused, was it the stims that gave you uriniation issues or hrt? i'm sorry that sounds really hard to deal with. you could try wearing pads for periods? i did that once when i had a uti.maybe consider kegels but i'm not sure if that'll help.also if you think it's somewhat psychological maybe mushrooms could help rewire that?
>>44295674i hate myself but not that much. worst was some paper towel as a jerry-rigged way to absorb it, it was gross.>>44295736i'm not on hitler reich therapy. at 20, i believe the ship has sailed anyway. combined with my low weight, it is not a good idea. but i effectively killed an ant with a flamethrower. if i gave in, i'd likely be better off. but oh well. four years of risperdal was the catalyst for that. nasty stuff. never had troon ideas beforehand.i don't take illegal stuff... only the batshit they legally prescribed me. for better or worse.
i have incontinence problems not nearly as bad but ill definitely leak when i really dont want to or just straight up piss myself out of nowhere without warning.all i do is just wear incontinence pads and go to the bathroom really regularly and that helps me not piss myself or cause a mess
>>44295648>>44295662You don't need a diaper. Just piss your pants. Way hotter.
estrogen mase it harder for me to finish peeing
>>44296516>at 20, i believe the ship has sailed anyway.lolsorry but lol
