I don't know how to explain. We said it would last forever. I'm the one that broke up first though but because she said she wanted to end things and pretended like nothing happened the next day and said that's just what partners do sometimes. She just didn't seem serious about us at all and every time I tried to hang out with her it felt impossible, like I was begging her, like she always had something better to do or someone else to hang out with. At any small dispute she would just shut down. I tried to do couples therapy with her and we did for a bit but it made things worse and she told me she resented me for it. I guess because she said she had more pressing personal issues in individual therapy to fix. But I have given her money several times for the sessions and she hasn't attended. She last promised she would talk every day but yeah I don't know why I expected her to follow through with it.. I just need to stop thinking about her but I don't know how. I still fantasize about us together and I try but I keep hurting myself when I get close to her. I get so confused it's just her words and actions don't match up, it always becomes the silent game. I'm so tired. It's hard to find the point of living most days
>>44296310you need to find a way to become stable being alone. then, find new people to hang around. if someone is avoiding time with you constantly, then they really don't value it.
>>44296375She says the opposite and I really want to believe her
>>44296395people say that, because they dont want to hurt you. i've had way too many people like this in my life, and i had to stop putting energy into them because they never ever honored what they said. take a step back at least
>>44296434Yeah I think I've realized that. I'm going to try it's just really easy to slip into delusion again
