im mtf and the only cis women in my life who have treated me with genuine convincing respect have all had bpd, or closely related disordersit's made me think about how even though we have superficially different struggles i think at the end of the day both our groups have the same issue, being unable of having normal relationships with the people in our lives no matter how much we want it, and its just such a fundamental part of life that missing it is just life ruiningeven if my struggles are different from theirs it doesnt change the fact that i will never be able to have a normal realtionship with almost anyone close to me in my life, i will always be unable to have children, i will always have been raped by testosterone and its impossible to fully erase its marks on my body, even though theres no doubt in my mind that my boyfriend loves me i also dont doubt that our relationship would have been different if i had been cis instead, and like the women i know the way it others me and makes people react to me and the way they make me feel against my will is torment enough to want to kill myself and its really no surprise that we both have such high suicide ratesive been thinking about this a lot lately but i havent really formulated my thoughts on it properly and this is really only a first idea written up late at night so its kinda rough, am i alone in feeling kinship here
