Why do i have to be like this.One second i get super envious of even the faintest depiction of femininity and am sure i need to keep trooning.And the next i get deeply afraid itd be a mistake and id have to deal with having to detransition. Or deal forever with having grown tits i may come to dislike.And then on the third second i randomly see myself in the mirror and get super happy my face looks more female, or that my small breasts dent out my tshirt or that they give me more curves.And then right back to being scared having full grown breasts could become body horror if i end up not liking them.A second later someone thinks i look more female/feminine and i get inexplicably happy.I fucking hate this, why cant i just stick to one opinion. And why are breasts of all things the one thing that keep fucking me up, being scared of how horrible theyd be if i end up disliking them, and not being sure if id want them or not.I wish i had real dysphoria, or wanted to truly desperately to be female. Then at least itd be set in stone that i couldnt stand not transitioning. But as is there is a slight pull towards it, and a slight push away from being male and thats all i got.At least if it were consistent thatd be nice. But instead i get too spooked at the idea of potentially disliking breasts and having to deal with that every few hours or days. Which means im still not sure what i want.I wish i was a real tranny, or knew what i wanted, or what i am. Im literally agamp, im amab and eternally stuck wanting to be a tranny. Not even a cis woman, i just wish i wished i was one. Instead of this second hand bullshit of vaguely feeling appreciative of femininity/women to the point of wanting to troon out about it/be more than just a crossdresser or fem guy. But too scared of the shame, difficulty and consequences of detransition if its a mistake, to get my mind to commit to trooning out.
Its also so fucking dumb that its breasts. It seems like everyone else on earth is so fucking hyped about them lol.Point of pride for women, and an obvious desire for straight men/gay women.Hell i even had a friend tell me that a gay male friend of his also appreciates breasts.And obviously most trannies are fukin ravenous about them, like its the main thing a good chunk want.Why did i have to be fucked in the head in a way where im so fucking intrigued by not being male/being female. But not the main marker of femaleness?Its just so stupid, and not even consistent, since sometimes i do like the small growth ive already had. Hell occasionally i also sometimes think id like em bigger or at least more rounded out too.I wish i was a real anyone or anything. Tranny seems to be the closest. But even that doesnt fit, not enough for me to be able to commit to it without constantly questioning it.I hate myself, im such a fake non real person, im just a dumb nothing that will forever be miserable.Gen. considering kms instead of having to deal with more of this gender shit (or just life in general which is ass too no matter any additional gender bs). But i wont have the guts to stick to that decision either lol.
everytime i see this artist i am reminded they are a groomerphile of young troubled youths
>>44418389>>44417259Just submit to the BBC nonaGive in to the thick Black cock that'll make you a little bitch bunny ~~~ <3
Everything is fukin meaningless.Why am i like this, why cant my mind just be still and decide on what it wants for once.Instead i just overthink everything.Nothing is real everything is stupid, I wanna off my self. I wish i had gotten to be a real person, and not this anxious mess of nothing and contradictions.
why did I have to be cursed to consided this stupid tranny shit for so long. and still just be some stupid non human fake person that could never be trans or anything else real.i should buzz my hair off, get onto drugs or alcoholism or whatever and try to forget I exist. mayb it'll passively kill me too so I won't have to bother doing it myself.the only constant in my life is that I'm some inhuman non person. my gender identity is defined by not having a human soul or personality and unceasing and eternal self hate.being born was a hopeless endeavor to begin with. it all just sucks and I won't ever find peace cuz I'm fundamentally incompatible with being a real anyone or anything.
>>44417259Estrogen changes are pretty easy to revert, they are mostly soft tissue, unlike testosterone which causes bone structure changes. So you don't have to make this desicion right now, you need to chill, think and listen to yourself. It sounds like you actually have dysphoria and you'd be better off trooning, or at least hrtrepping.
>>44419017this is the first time you posted something that makes sense
>>44419017But the major soft tissue change (breasts) is the one that freaks me out so much. Or rather the idea of having to get top surgery for it freaks me out and the process of having to deal with that.also where does it sound like I have dysphoria. i mentioned literally nothing about disliking looking male or male features or anything of the sort in the post.also yeah IG I have to listen to myself and think. but my brain just screams contradictory stuff at me and barely let's off. plus even if I'd listened to myself I wouldn't trust myself lol.I've tried thinking this thru too many times and it always ends up going nowhere and making me go crazy or I just dont really get a resolution idk.
Retard, you will not fix your body later and you will have to pay enomorous amounts of money to fix what could be fixed.Bigger nose, bigger hands, bigger jaw everything.So do something at least, try taking bicalutamide to delay changes and get some time to think, if you fear THAT much.
