Do your parents still misgender you? I came out to mine around a month ago via a letter. It went alright. They expressed support and made sure to let me know that they would always love me. A week or so later, I was on the phone with them, and my mom just went dead silent with any mention of my transition and my dad misgendered me a few times. I am, unfortunately, very sensitive to how they think of me, and the call led to me rotting in bed for two-days from depression.I confronted them about it, and we had what I thought was a pretty good talk in which I expressed how it made me feel and discussed my transition in detail. Fast forward to yesterday during a visit to my house. It was like that discussion had never happened. They would not stop misgendering me. I eventually said, "do you remember anything we discussed on the phone?" and my mom passive aggressively corrected herself and used her instead of him (no issues with my name as I'm going by my childhood nickname they've always refereed to me as). My dad seemed clueless. I love my parents, but holy shit is my opinion of them in the toilet right now. My mom even had the audacity to argue and tell me they don't use pronouns when I first confronted them on the phone. I used to be an English teacher. I literally had to give them a grammar lesson about pronoun-antecedent agreement. Are my parents fucking stupid, or just thoughtless?
Mine still do after being out to them for about 4 years now, anytime I try to bring it up it turns into some shouting match for some reason. Like i get it, their son isn't their son anymore, but that hasnt stopped them from trying lolIm just glad they havent disowned me. My dad actually helped me learn how to change my oil in my sports car Sunday so I know how to do it when me and my partner move next month. He probably thought it was a chance to try and masculinize me but I showed up right after my overnight shift in booty shorts and a cropped tank top lmao. He gave me a hug when I left and told me he loves me at least, but yeah no I have a feeling it'll be awhile still before they use my new name + pronouns
>>44421304Mine 100% would if they knew and disown me afterwards, which is why I'm never telling them. Nothing good will come out of it
>>44421321That sucks, nona. Not an excuse on your parent's part, but at least they seem somewhat traditional. Mine, despite growing up in a rural shit-hole, have never had many "masculine" expectations for me. My dad even refers to me as sweetie or honey. It just seems so disrespectful, especially after I spent 2 hours on the phone with them explaining how it made me feel.
>>44421346How long have you been on HRT? How do you plan to avoid them finding out?
>>44421304>I just shattered my old ass parents worldview last month>I can't believe they're taking this long to adjust from a lifetime of myelinated neuron pattern formation those assholesThey're clearly having issues not because they don't love you but because they're not you and can't understand what you're thinking or going through. Words can only do so much. While your identity was easy to 'flip' for you it's clearly not the case for them for a multitude of reasons. Additionally if youre clocky it's highly likely they are trying to be nice and aren't really happy with it and are kind of adjusting. If that isn't good enough for you then stop being around them it'll cause more problems for both of you to force an interaction nobody's happy with.
Let me guess, you look like a man?If you want to be seen as a woman then look like on
>>44421304parents of trans kids are the definition of fucking evil.they were the ones that fucked up the making process and had trans people come out in a body that will later become the most suicide endorsing thing ever.then when said kid grows up and realize that they need to transition to save THEMSELVES, said parents will be all up in their ass like "n-nooo! don't save yourself! we love you! I know your suffering from intense discomfort and severe dissociation, but we love you! be unhappy with yourself for us. okay honey?"even apparent "supportive parents" are one argument with their trans child away from locking their gender affirming care away.
>>44421433>>44421449I don't think I pass yet, but this is me: https://files.catbox.moe/57vin0.png>If that isn't good enough for you then stop being around them it'll cause more problems for both of you to force an interaction nobody's happy with.I explicitly told them this. If they need more time to adjust, that it's fine, but I wouldn't be able to interact with them for my own mental health. It just seems so thoughtless on their part.
>I used to be an English teacher.Ok so you are a grown ass nigga who decides to transition in their 30s and you don't understand why they don't see a woman
>>44421479I'm quite romantic so I would rape you and make you forget about your parents misgendering you
>>44421479I should add, I basically waited until I felt like I had to tell them.I've been on HRT since Jan. 2025.
>>44421356About 8 months, gonna lie and say I have gyno or diagnosis with some hormone disorder. And manmoder whenever I see them
>>44421539Good luck, nona. Hope it works out. Mine live like 2 hours away and we have a very close relationship (only child). I don't think I could get away with that, though can't say it hadn't crossed my mind. I feel really bad when I lie to them though.
>>44421552I really wish I could be honest with them, but they made it very clear what they believe in. Not sure how well they'll buy it, but I don't really have a choice. Hope your parents are more accepting if you do come out nona
>>44421304>>44421449I'm a passoid and live stealth. I haven't been gendered anything other then female in 4 years. The only people that still slip up and misgender me are my parents.My mom and dad gender me correctly about 80% of the time. They still often slip up. My grandmother is the worst. She still misgenderes me everytime and is still using my deadname. And they wonder why I wont visit them often lmao
I'm so broken I don't really care anymore, the first memories I have of my mother are about how she kept telling me she'd throw away all my clothes and buy dresses if I continued crying, so I cried more and she'd just start hitting me, all those stories about how "those people" never live a fulfilling life only prepared me for my inevitable future, being forced to change the way I acted, irreparably dulling my personality by shutting me down for having any kind of expression. My father as usual either wasn't there or never said anything, he'd only put on that face of disappointment I know so damn well.They are aware I am on hrt now and since I told them they've never said anything, all they do is scrutinize me in silence.
>>44421304That sucks, nona. I'm sorry. If you pass and keep your head up, I'm sure they'll get better over time, but they'll definitely always be little bitches about it.I'm 3 years on HRT and don't pass. I came out to my immediate family at the start since I thought it was the nice thing to do. Three years on, my mom still calls me her son or "he" or whatever else. I barely talk to her, so it's not a big deal. My partner told their mom that I was trans (even though I didn't want that), and she still calls me a man. But one time recently, my partner's mom accidentally called me "she" before correcting herself. Even my partner messes up and has called me "he" without correcting. I'm such a nothing person that nobody gives a shit anyway. My solution is to stop interacting with everybody, and it's worked OK so far.
>>44421304Only when to rub it in that I don't have a job (I still don't have a job)
>>44421348>dad calling you honI'm so sorry
>>44422276
>>44422805Famous one from mumsnet iircBrvtal
>>44422358Same
>>44421304came out at 14, they stopped me from transitioning, had to wait until adulthood, they still misgender me sometimes. If I introduce my mother to a friend with a certain name and gender in mind she'll gender them normally but the moment they learn that person is trans she'll start misgendering them and then correcting herself afterward, despite never knowing that person as anything but like, a man named lucas or dante.
>>44421304Mine degender me, it’s always “they” or “my child”. It kind of bothers me after 7 years now but it is what it is. At least they try and don’t say son and he often.
>>44421304Sometimes, sometimes not. She's trying
>>444213043 yearsmy mom tries to get it right when talking to me, but often gets it wrong when talking to other peoplewhat's weird is she'll switch between the two while I'm still in the room; I'm nona when she's talking to me, but I'm immediately anon when she's talking to my brother who's standing next to mebut she's getting better about that too. Now if only I could get her to change my name in her phone...
>>44425706I'm not sure what would be harder, being misgendered because of history, or this. Sorry nona.
>>44424099no it's pitt
>>44422315>I'm so broken I don't really care anymore, the first memories I have of my mother are about how she kept telling me she'd throw away all my clothes and buy dresses if I continued crying, so I cried more and she'd just start hitting me, That's pretty fucked. So many adults should never even think of having kids.
>>44421304They still call me a they after I said im a xe/xir
>>44421498Then you probably just need to give it time for them to get used to it. Probably something to help is to put them around people that do use the right pronouns.
>>44421304been out since 13 hrt since 16 and they still misgender me doesent help im a nepo baby so my mom works in the same office as me so she makes me dress like a man to go to work
yeah but idc really that much, don't need to interact that often, ive been trannying for a decade already
>>44421304Been out and on hrt for 5 years, and yeah. Occasionally they gender me right, like 5% of the time. Early on I'd try to nudge them into gendering me right, but my family would get mad at me for it, just like "you and your tranny shit" and such. Had a family member call me it, and another threatened to kill me once. Had another pin me to wall, beat me, threaten to kill me and call me a dirty faggot.I live with them so it's just something I have to kind of stomach in exchange for cheap rent. I have a thick skin to it, but I do feel a bit soul broken. End goal is to leave and no contact them all except my mother, but for now, I gotta swallow my pride.
Yep. It's been like 12 years since coming out and I've been transitioning and passing for 8, they still love me I still love them, but they never made any effort at any point and I stopped fighting them on it and gave up. My mom has gradually gotten more aware that she seems senile misgendering me around strangers so she'll try sometimes.
>>44421304I've been on HRT for almost six years now. I pass but they still see me as a guy because they don't subscribe to trans ideology and also like. It's basically impossible to get someone who knew you "before" to see you as otherwise (it happens but it's naturally against the grain, rather). It's a big part of the reason I don't see myself as a woman. They know there is nothing remotely feminine about me besides my appearance.
