With each and every passing day, the gender dysphoria gets worse and worse. Yet I know that it's too late already, as if I ever even had any a chance at all to begin with. I often think about just calling my losses and starting hrt right now, as late as it is, before it gets even worse, but I still would never pass regardless, I'm a 20 year old 6'2 armenoid subhuman. I am also in the military and transgenders are legally not allowed in the military in this country so even if I wanted to, I don't know what would happen if they were to notice that I got on hrt (which they eventually would, inevitably). The situation is absoulutely hopeless, and on top of that I am also tortured by the fact that I actively choose to do nothing about it and just let things get worse by aging. I don't want my life to be just being miserable while repping until I gather up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth when I'm like 30, but it still seems preferable to being observed as a disgusting freak that no one finds remotely attractive, I don't see any reason in transitioning if I'm not gonna pass well enough to be treated as a woman by society. This life is hell
>>44423096if you're sure you're gonna kill yourself then just start HRT, who knows; it might help you.
>>44423096There is hope in the fact that you are still 20. You have no idea if you'll "pass" or not. What E doesn't do is turn you into a monster. You get softer skin. Fat redistributes (legs, thighs, ass). You get less hairy and rough. You lose muscle. You do grow boobs though. I hope the best for you Nona. These feelings aren't easy to deal with.
>>44423156But tttt told me 20 is giga lateshit
>>44423419The only thing that matters if you're luckshit or not. Just hrt rep if you're truly ngmi
>>44423419the only thing youre late for rn is not doing hrt before puberty, which almost nobody gets to do
>>44423434That also (probably) means getting kicked out of the military though, which I really wouldn't want to happen unless I were to miraculouly pass as a woman after transitioning somehow, which is not going to happen. My job here is pretty cozy I don't wanna lose it
>>44423434Is it actually possible to conceal your tits once they've grown?
>>44423882Why suffer on behalf of your employer?You can get another job but not another life.
>>44424695Losing this job means I'd have to work in a shitty minimum wage job where I'd work +15 more hours a week, constantly be subjected to annoying social interractions and earn 1/3rd of what I'm earning right now. I'm not exactly sure on how it works though, they did have a urologist check my cock and balls when I entered here and there are probably health checks you have to enter every couple of years. What I am unsure about is whether they'd kick you out simply for taking hrt while presenting male
>>44423096If you're already suicidal what reason do you have not to just go for it?
>>44423096>>44423138
>>44425316“Oh no, I’d have to talk to people instead of just murdering them for Israel!!!!” KYS.
>>44423096Take your pills alice. I repped until 27, I exist only because by some miracle, perhaps granted unto me by god himself, I made it thus far without being totally raped by androgens and without yet hitting twink death. This is a rare thing. You will likely not be saved, second puberty will rape you and turn you into an ogre unless god smiles upon you as well. Don't risk it, just get on the juice asap.
>Oh no, I’d have to talk to people instead of just murdering them for Israel!!!!
>>44423096it's moronic to kill yourself before actually trying to transition. just order hrt. if you get discharged then good. there's nothing to think about here.
>>44430257Which part of "trannies not allowed" gave you the impression that it was the US military retard?
>>44423096If you live in a shithole country can't you just migrate to the eu and get free gibs for being a tranny?
