I don't actually need help this time. Or maybe I do.I like to think I'm similar to Patrick Bateman at times, maybe even thinking I'm him. Maybe I could try to be him. I've decided, I will now be developing a seperate, idealized male persona I can take form of instead of my autogynephilic female persona, or whatever the fuck it is, the cross-gender identity.It's considerably more rewarding to develop and use this male persona, and positive feedback from my male peers is greatly valued, and I will be continuing to do this from here on out until I am completely happy with being a cis man and taking on the form of this male persona. Then, I will simply become this male persona via as time goes on, and the AGP would in theory be completely gone, or just very diminished. I honestly like it better this way, it seems so much more practical, and it could just be the way for me. No more repping, no nothing, I can be a man now, albeit, a "good" one, one that sounds good in my head and others could receive as... "good" as well. Am I schizo? This plan could be very unstable, but I will attempt to go through with it. I'll keep all of this in mind. I have a feeling this might go drastically unwell however, but I'll just have to commit and see results.
>>44424886You do know that Patrick is a pathetic, sad excuse of a man, don't you?Just watch the movie, anon. Only losers identity with him (like me). Find a better male persona.
>>44424886im not reading all this shit but I can confirm you are mentally ill.
If you read the book it's clear Patrick is a huge fucking loser who is totally interchangeable with a cast of other pathetic dweebs
>>44425002Thanks, it means alot.
>>44424981Yes. That's the entire point.
>>44424886drink some milk, do some jumping jacks, clear your head a bit. agp is not a bad thing in itself and when it actually goes away you feel hollowed out. just learn how to express it in a healthy way>Am I schizo? only if you're like this unironically and 24/7 but you're clearly being tongue in cheek and cute about it so no
>>44425043>only if you're like this unironically and 24/7Kind of. I've been tending to switch between embracing and rejecting, it usually changes everyday. It could change in the middle of the day.I will not deny it, yes, I do have the urge to troon out, do whatever, but I feel that would be a step in the wrong direction because it could lead to worse things because autogynephila is at its core, some sort of a mental illness that requires actual treatment rather than some fantasy or something. Though I do have to say living life as some sort of "trans woman" or something still seems somewhat appealing to me. It changes. I guess it'll eventually go away. It might be from trauma or something, some sort of emasculation thing. I guess I'll cool it down for a bit. I know the healthy way to do this and I'll tend to go towards that direction.
I do not want to John 50 however. I'd rather troon out then John 50. Or I can just hrtrep. I don't really know anyway. It could seriously just go away.
>>44425013you're too hung up on personas. Just be yourself. Maybe you're just a dude that feels feminine. It doesn't mean you need to be a woman or a omega chad patrick bateman to compensate. You just need to learn to accept your basic personality, which is maybe more nuanced and subtle than what you are talking about
>>44425455i cant really be myself i always have an urge to perform and act or something. I'm not too adamant on showing people my true self. i do have some sort of vague idea of what i am. Though its not quite clear. Ive been trying to be myself. its weird, i cant really do it. Though i probably have been. But i guess ill just try my best or whatever. It could be said i could be more feminine than most males, but this should be unimportant. I would like to be more feminine i guess, though being feminine is an idea and a process, not a object fact about what i already am, and probably feeds into the weird cross-gender identity or something i have. Whatever, itll probably be fine. I would value authenticity over everything else
I am bisexual too, and i repress it most of the time but i stopped. I can always fag out, or something. Idk if im meta attracted tho, doesnt rlly seem like it. I'm attracted to a lot of men regardless, and it doesnt depend on me. Maybe i can even get a husband and i can bottom. Dats no mans land doe. I am a faggot.Even doe patrick bateman isnt gay or whatever.
>>44425116i struggle with separating it from trauma too, but i only strugle with that when i'm trying to repress and make sense of it instead of just accepting it. i think the trauma is secondary to it. normal cis men would react violently and defend their male ego instead of being soft sensitive feminine and traumatized like us. society is evil and hunts down people like us instead of cherishing us. but not giving in is the stronger reaction. i think the womb theory is true and we're just wired to be feminine. agp is just the sexual expression of that. if you hard rep and try to man up you'll have a far worse expression of it. cis men get traumatized all the time too but they don't become agp out of it, and there are trans kids from loving families with safe and supportive upbringings without trauma who are still agp too.
>>44424981Yeah but Bale so hot
>>44425759would i be a normal cis man? maybe it seems like it. my index finger is longer than my pointer finger evendoe finger digit ratio isnt very reliable or something. id have to describe my history and stuff more to get a clearer picture on this. or i might have already provided enough idk, dont feed any delusions i might haveHard repping as a man was always somewhat tiring for me. It doesn't quite pay off all the time, idk. It's fine when i do it. The rewarding feeling is more like relief or something.And yes, Bale is hot
>>44425871i am attracted to cis women therefore i am just a normal cis man with a mental illness
>>44425520You're in your own head way too much. You need to fill this void with tasks and hobbies. Stop being your own personal psychologist and just let yourself live, go do shit, occupy your brain with shit to distract it from all this stupid noise that is just made up bullshit. You're just you, you cant decide who you are, you just gotta keep living life and not worry about "who you are". Most people don't really know who they are until like 40-50 years old anyways.
>>44425871just go do something else for a while and the answer becomes more obvious. it sounds like you're overthinking and lost the forest for the trees
thanks guys ill just try to do whatever without this raping me as much
I will be trying to learn to accept my cis manness.
