Hi. I'm mtf and will probably go stealth in a few years. I want to ask stealth parents or (future stealth) trans people who have/intend to have children:Are you/Would be stealth to your children ?If yes, permanently ? Or until they are 18 / 25 / 30 ?
>>44443564He or she will end knowing eventually
>>44443577How so
>>44443564Yes permanently stealth in all aspects if possible
>>44443582how would you deal with the birth certificate
>>44444008Do kids normally see their parents birth certificate
>>44444008Can't you simply change it?
>>44443564Just don't mention it unless its relevant like when they ask about you growing up and such
>>44444016did you ever notice your birth certificate mentions who your parents are and specifically demands birth names
>>44444046Ngl I actually have never seen my birth certificate or maybe once but I don’t remember
>>44443564I am stealth and church and work, and open but do not bring it up elsewhere. Being trans almost never actually comes up in my life. No kids yet, but I have a plan. Telling your child things before they have starting forming permanent memories mostly ensures that whatever you tell them will not be a big deal to them, and if it's not a big deal there will always be a risk that they don't think it's a problem to tell people my mommy used to be a boy. Once they are a bit older and they understand that some information is private you can tell them that it's private and they can't tell everyone. You can also just wait until they are that age to tell them, but it's a bit more unusual to bring up (rather than reading children's books about trans people and saying mommy is like that). You also run the risk of them learning bad things about trans people from their environment and having a bad reaction. I would prefer to risk of being outed to that.>>44444016None of my cis siblings have ever seen theirs. I only have mine to prove I'm the same person after my name change.>>44444046Birth certificates are regulated by state and not all of them require this.
>>44443564It's better to tell asap, because it can be very hard from them if this infomation will be exposed too late (when they will be teens, for example), but don't make accent on it in everyday life.
>>44443564I don't plan on stealthing to my future kids... That's so much effort for no reason
>>44445435>if this infomation will be exposed too late (when they will be teensHow would they know since I'm steath?
>>44445501>no reasonI don't want my children to get harassed at school were they to tell their friends I'm trans, first of all
>>44443683thisyou owe them this, you brought them into this world, at least be a little considerate
>>44443564If my fiancee and I ever go through with having children, I think we'll adopt them and simply tell them when it's appropriate that their mother is infertile and leave it at that.
>>44443564I told my kids when they were 5 and 7 respectively.My cis wife looks a tad bit more masc than me nowadays so i probably could've pulled it off for way longer, though not forever.I do think my kids have a right to know not only who their biological parents are, but also that their biological parents are still together and still love each other.It's also important, imo, that they know it first from me rather than anyone else who may not have the best intentions.They took it well, at least in part because they were never ill to the extent of questions regarding genetic lineage to arise. Then at school they weren't the only ones with lesbian/gay parents so they weren't the odd ones out being raised by two women.
>>44445520Your partner knows, your family knows, maybe some contacts from past can appear... life is long>>44445531Tell them not to say it in school
Are stealthoids this retarded?Imagine your kid becoming a transphobe because nobody in their life made them know that all the stuff cissoids say is bullshit
>>44445531Now why would a bunch of random kids at the school just know I, the hypothetical parent, am trans...? And would kids in +12 years even care as much?
1. Teach them about trannies early (to ensure they don't have a negative view of trannies when you out yourself)2. Don't tell them when they are too young (they might out you because they are young and stupid)3. Don't tell them when they are too old (the longer you wait, the bigger of a deal it will be to them which increases the chances of it going really bad)I think the sweet spot is when they are somewhere around 8-11.Point 1 is very important. Point 2's importance is up to you. Point 3 is extremely important.
