life as a MEF with a tttt obsession:1. create larp post with the goal of being called a tranny2. feel relieved and fuzzy inside from being gendered as a woman3. leave the board for a day, disengage from thread4. come back to unground from reality and fantasize about being forcefemmed5. rinse and repeat how do i detox from all the AGP MEF bullshit? i feel that my habit undermines the respect i have for myself. lately i crave being a woman so much that i even started consuming fetishtic forcefem contenti feel like i am no longer in control of myselfthe person i am becoming scares me
Uh do you have a life you can focus on
>>44445585i feel submerged underwater irl, and the agp stuff feels like resurfacing for air
>>44445500I unironically did this for 9 years before trooning, fmstl.
>>44445500you need to find time to do something REAL that contributes to realizing at least part of your desire. consuming content does not count.bonus: stop looking at pictures of old men in suits
>>44445500 Blanchard didn't know anything about hsts, he hardly wrote about them
>>44445706its AGP lore, you wouldnt understand unless you are a meta-attracted jeep :))))))
>>44445613Indulging in AGP stuff feels like resurfacing for air? You sure it’s not dysphoria then?
>>44445664what broke you
>>44445738if i call it dysphoria i am essentially accepting defeat
>>44445500You're a tranny faggot and need to be force feminized and turned into an obedient gf
real except i don’t have to larp because apparently everybody can just tell by how i type <.<i posted a shirtless selfie once and somebody thought i was ftm and i don’t think a response on this website will ever match that high…oh but yeah just troon dummy.i have estradiol otw after repping for years so yay :p
>>44445753Uh what defeat I mean you said you like it when you get gendered female and what you said about how AGP stuff feels likeAre you ashamed of this stuff?
>>44445746Repping just slowly eroded my sanity. Reality started feeling less real and more unreal, slippery, and amorphous. It culminated in me having mild psychosis and mystical experiences. One day whilst meditating I had a vivid full out-of-body experience along with crazy closed eye visuals, eventually my mind started repeating the mantra "I am a woman", then I had what Google told me was an "ecstatic seizure". I ordered HRT the next day. All the mental health stuff resolved itself after a few months.
>>44445813Judge schreber is that you That must’ve been fucking terrifying though
>>44445864Looking back, yeah, but the crazy just crept up on me and by the time I realised it I was already engulfed. >confused cismPlease stop repping.
>>44446056Damn this is the worst case of repping gone wrong I’ve ever seenHow are you doing nowadays? >Please stop reppingI’m not really repping anymore because I decided to go on HRT to see how I’ll end up instead of regretting not trying I just continue using this name cuz idk it’s what I used for about a month now and it’s funny I guess
>>44445772yeah shame shame shame.
>>44445764were u a tripfag
>>44446094It get's worse but I still don't think it's that bad. It's because I didn't want to rep. I actually came out as trans when I was 15 (after repping for a few years already) but my family was insane and I gave up and tried to kill myself. I spent 4 months in a psych ward and it mind broke me. I'm still recovering all these years later.>I decided to go on HRT to see how I’ll end up instead of regretting not tryingWise choice.>I just continue using this name cuz idk ... I guessThis is subtle repping. Notice how unsure you are to refer to yourself as a cism. Labels are there to serve you, if things feel idk right that's fine, there is no need for a label.
>>44446301Idk if ur still around but if the biggest obstacle is shame I think you could get around it by changing your mindset? Idk at least for me most of my shame was self imposed and neurotic “is this the right thing I’m doing???” which was a leftover from my upbringing You should rlly do what makes you happy
>>44447158I don’t know what to say besides that sounds horrifying. Damn fuck your family and the psych ward people I hope you’re safe from them and that place got fucked. >subtle reppingI guess. You’re right I’m pretty unsure about calling myself a cism I just do it because I guess it’s how other people see me so I just picked up that label.
