Why are so many people on this website AVPD. I mean the autism is obvious, but your average poly puppygirl transbian is autistic and they are able to have a 10 person free use poly relationship. There is a huge number of /lgbt/ users that are late in transition and still completely blocked off from social contact, unable to make any connections due to their own guardedness. Probably so closed off that they would never even see a therapist (rightfully so) because they could not imagine that sort of exposure. Did 4chan make people this way, or is 4chan just where they end up.
>>44483204>whytrauma and abuse
>>44483204The people I came out to reacted badly, then lockdowns happened and I got lucky with money so I’ve been a neet hermit ever since. I’m probably just like this forever now unless I get isekai’d or a manic pixie dream girl somehow falls into my lap.
>>44483204>>44483563Oh, and > Did 4chan make people this way, or is 4chan just where they end up.Where I ended up. I came here a handful of times one summer in like 2007 but I didn’t come back until I started trooning in 2019, and only come here often when things are going badly.
>>44483507For a lot of people, sure. But people are just like that naturally and that’s ok. I’m tired of getting coddled and treated like a victim by most trans people I talk to when I am actually just a shit person.
>>44483563>a manic pixie dream girl somehow falls into my laphi
>>44483204i really dont know how to meet people like me. and yeah in general im scared of everybody. it blows my mind that people are actually able to get jobs and make friends.
>>44483649NEW HAMPSHIRE
I just don't enjoy talking to people unless we REALLY match in interests and shared goals, which is rarely a case online, let alone IRL. Every time I'm in a social situation I just count down the time till I can get out of it and go back to my neet cave.>>44483563The people you came out to are unensouled, don't dwell on their empty seethe too much. I can neet thanks to money luck too, but sooner or later they'll run out..
>>44483664over
>>44483676RIP oh well
>>44483780i was probably too young anyway, how old are you?
>>44483204>your average poly puppygirl transbian is autisticIs she?Or is she just narcisistic/BPD/some other weird thing?
>>44483659>it blows my mind that people are actually normal and not terminally online shutins>no, of course I will not even bother to try anything to become functional myself
>>44484555checkedive met them, they really are quite autistic.
>>44483204I'm 32 and my life has taught me time and again that other people hurt me every time i open up so i've become a master of masks and am horrified of showing people the real me as like i said every time in the past i did i have been hurt from parents disowning me to the few relationships ive had falling apart it just sucks
>>44483204>your average poly puppygirl transbian is autistic and they are able to have a 10 person free use poly relationshipBecause the only two options are this or isolation, and being poly is just another form of isolation given nobody is actually connected to you and you're just a dehumanized sex object for the ring leader to fuck.
I haven't talked to anyone outside of 4chan in three years. Deleting discord was the best thing I ever did, it's better to feel a little lonely most days than to keep failing at everything all the time.
>>44483204i always needed to lie to get any sort of positive attention while growing up so it just became compulsive and i couldnt stop if i wanted to
how do i stop being like this
>>44487195i've been trying to figure that out as long as i can remember
>>44487260:'(
>>44484577i just dont know what to do honestly
>>444832044chan is just where you end up when you think like this, no one else gets it, if you vented the way you do here to your friends they'd look disgusted at you. The anonymity let's you really just unapologetically be yourself, which helps alleviate a lot of the trash that comes with being open with people who probably just hate you anyway.Haah, when you think about it like that it's pitiable, kinda cute. But it's not, just kind of ugly bitter truth leaking out to the trashheapThe part where you can just kinda get up and go and no one will be mad is pretty appealing, I don't feel like I owe any of you anything, I don't need to force myself to check up on any of you. That's selfish af I know but its true, friends demand the world from you, anons will forget you in an hour
>>44487291>Haah, when you think about it like that it's pitiable, kinda cute.It's not, at all.
>>44487331you're right, I'm just coping. I know we're all gross little freaks who will never make proper genuine human connection. Kinda sad.
>>44487195fake being super bubbly and nice until you have a friendgroup of people exactly like that constantly inviting you out to do stuff and just put your mask on and never get to take it off and just live in it forever and never confront that you aren't you ever and lose your true self in the abyss and let them fill you and your life with the lies of what you can't ever truly be like they just are so naturally and never EVER let anyone see you when you cry or have feel anything negative
>>44487360im in this post and i FUCKING hate it fuck you. don't do this, it kills you. too late for me though!
>>44487368it killed me too anon
>>44483204i isolated myself too long and now I can’t find a way out. I have a job luckily and no problems socializing there but I can’t bring myself to go to trans groups or public events (music or cons or whatever). I’m also sad that I’ll likely never have a real relationship again and I know if I give up my standards and do poly I’ll end up with a broken heart.
>>44483204>Why?every time I've opened up I either do something weird and make those who I want to be close with uncomfortable or I'm put down and made fun of for being earnest about myself so I just don't open up anymore to avoid making people uncomfortable or getting hurt.>Did 4chan make people this way, or is 4chan just where they end up.I've been like this from a young age, 4chan is just where I ended up as it's easy to obscure myself behind anonymous posting.
>>44488017What are your standards?
>>44488054monogamous, interested in a long term relationship (don’t give a fuck about hookups) makes me feel desired, has to be a good person, I’m not dating someone with poor character and bad morals. someone I feel a connection with and enjoy being around. not sure if I can trust a cis person so thats a maybe. they don’t need to be super passy, just a little cute is fine. bonus points for shared interests, i have the standard tranny ones much to my chagrin: video games, anime, weird music (harsh noise etc), horror movies, linux. additional non tranny interests would be travel, food, art.
>>44487291i used to vent to my friends a LOT out of loneliness and needing to expel all my resentments out of my body, it got to the point they literally told me to kill myself and would only tell me how pathetic i was and so on.its true, even if you are full of pain and this pain is legitimate, telling other people around you just makes them hate you and wish you were dead, their sympathy lasts about 1 minute before they begin to hate you for negatively effecting their mood and denying life.real adulthood i think is when you become self sustaining and can regulate your own emotions without needing external validation or reassurance, which for some of us takes a long time but we can get there and then we can be real humans just like everyone else.
>>44488017thats funny because ive been to a couple of cons and concerts but ive never had a job, i think the way it works is whatever you have never done before creates a lot of mental resistance and fear, at one point you had never had a job and then you got one, how did you feel about that? how did you get past that barrier. because it will be the same way with getting you to go to events, if you cant bring yourself to do it, think of something else that you can do and do that instead and maybe it will have a knock on effect. but you have to fight for it.
>>44483204>Why? For me being black + trans + gay = people have one-sided beef with me that can escalate into attempts at social humiliation, threats, or outright violence. It literally made working impossible, I am forced to pursue disability or self employment forever because of how many times random people, coworkers and customers, would harass me. I'm not even ugly, people just hate when I have autonomy or the sound of my voice, or whatever other mystical reason they will never provide me.>>44483633You don't have avpd, you're just cursed
>>44488126>can regulate your own emotionsImpossible to regulate what is completely not understandable to me to begin with. I'm just not a real human I think.
>>44488104>monogamous, interested in a long term relationship (don’t give a fuck about hookupsFair, explains why you don't like queer spaces, but people interested in these things can sometimes roam festivals and cons too just FYI.>makes me feel desiredVague, are you a bottom?>has to be a good person, I’m not dating someone with poor character and bad morals. someone I feel a connection with and enjoy being aroundCan you define this? A wokie would say no chuds, a chud would no wokies, ad infinitum etc.>not sure if I can trust a cis person so thats a maybe.Might be brainworms, might be a history of cis trauma. I get not wanting someone totally normal.>video games, anime, weird music (harsh noise etc), horror movies, linux.Those aren't hard to find friends for and are pretty normal besides harsh noise. Shared interests don't make a shared connection though, you probably know that.Good list, I hope you find someone to let your guard down to.
>>44488126>real adulthood i think is when you become self sustaining and can regulate your own emotions without needing external validation or reassurance, which for some of us takes a long time but we can get there and then we can be real humans just like everyone else.I learned to do this but all it did was cement the fact that literally nobody cares and would rather I die into the back of my social brain, and now I have zero motivation to interact besides the phantom pains of wanting a normal social life sometimes. If I get upset I just isolate and let the crying pass, then go back to meaningless chitchat until the next wave. This doesn't feel like functional adulthood, but maybe i just accidentally conflated being mature with being able to be happy and connected deeply.
>>44488380nobody cares and thats freedom, its not a bad thing.
>>44483204Grew up being bullied and criticized for opening up, and then everyone I turned to for emotional support tried to convince me to just live as gnc man, while living in a hostile environment where I didn't feel safe opening up, no job opportunities, depression
>>44483204they need to make music because their music would probably be pretty good
>>44483204I don't know what to tell you, nona. I remember first noticing in high school that some of the ugliest, grossest, cringiest, loudest, most socially retarded spergs were managing to find a girl (they'd make out in the outdoor lunch area like weirdos). They also had more friends than me. I don't know what is actually wrong with me but I just don't seem to know how to make friends, or scoialize really at all. I also think the problem must be more complex than just "autism".One theory I have is it's because I was raised in a really low-trust household. My parents made it clear to me that I was under the Panopticon and that anything I told one of them, both of them would know about. It only got worse when they pulled me out of school to homeschool me for "falling behind" (literally they could have just sought out resources from the school, I think my mom is just crazy that way). I barely saw anyone other than my parents and younger brother for like, 7 years. My parents also had this way of mocking anything I liked that they didn't, so eventually I learned to stop sharing my interests and opinions altogether. To this day, they know maybe about 5% of me. So ofc I opted for DIY when I realized I was a tranny. I shudder to even think about the cruel things my parents might say if I ever told them about this shit. These days I try to avoid seeing them more than like once a month or so. It is what it is, but realistically I never stood a fucking chance ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>44489083I don't listen to any music so I doubt it
>>44483204Where did you come up with that diagnosis? Most of the trannies on this board will meet a stranger for sex at the drop of a hat. Avpd people are terrified of rejection, and even though they desperately want love and intimacy with another person, the fear keeps them locked in a prison of isolation.
>>44489219you know why cause theres a certain level of sperginess where they are uninhibited so they actually socialised more than you and arent self concious.its like how some autistic people go on a lot of dates and have lots of experience purely because they dont get embarassed and arent sensitive to social rules that they arent even aware of.
>>44489083I make music and lyrics but I never post it anywhere so I have no idea if it's good or not
>>44489083i never release it cause i hate myself and always think people are going to hate it (same reason i have literally zero social circle)
>>44489339if it's fun to make and you like listening to it it's good. i understand not wanting to post it tho.
Why is this literally me? I have almost the same story but a few more things happened or didn't, like how I was always homeschooled, my parents split up, neglected me terribly, and my mom raped me during the divorce. Right down to the ridicule for liking anything and choosing to DIY and ghost them when the time came.
>>44489386fuck that was meant for >>44489219
>>44489386i don't think i was raped but i definitely act like a rape victim. i'm jumpy and i've been told walk around looking like picrel basically
>>44489380>if it's fun to make and you like listening to it it's gooduhm... yeah, but yeah I could never bring myself to put how honest the stuff I've written is out to the publicnobody needs to hear me screaming about not being human
because you're so retarded you can't tell the differencd between tism and avpd.
>>44489219same same same
>>44489240hookups are avpd becuase there are no emotional risk.
>>44489512i should tell you a lot of people would love to hear a tranny scream about not being human (as a tranny who screams about not being human on stage (im not that big dont try to guess))
>>44490055real avoidants are too scared to do hookups
>>44490288its a matter of severity/spectrum
>>44490288true... me too... i cant even have base level friendships...
>>44490094>screamingtch. not a real avoidant
>>44483204unstable childhood, mother molested me, brother bullied me, father ignored me, never had any affection growing up, on top of dysphoria, etc
>>44490288until you grow so suicidal that you just don't care anymore. That's where I agreed to this grindr hookup and it's still the only guy I'm talking to on the App. He's old and desperate, sometimes I log on to 20+ messages by him so I'm not scared to get rejected.
>>44492497Oh the avpd > schizoid pipeline?
>>44483204Idk trauma? I'm scared of opening myself to other people so I'm always hiding
>>44492497No. You are not avoidant, just depressed.
>>44483204I was raped repeatedly as a child and then raped by testosterone. I am a hollow empty person and completely anhedonic. Nothing brings me any happiness. I started HRT too late to ever pass as a woman so my body will forever be an alien to me, a prison and a stranger. So I don't really do anything but sit in my room, sit on 4chan or scroll social media, and self-harm.
>>44483204>AVPDThis sounds like me, but I just somehow get lucky. I'm very passive and pretty much never reach out to others, but am happy to interact when others reach out to me. I somehow ended up with a hot wife. Downstairs neighbor had a girl over, knew I had a cat, asked to come up and show her said cat, she later hooks me up with her friend who thought the fact that I was a piv virgin and 26 was hot (had a bf prior). We met at a karaoke bar, fucked in my car, and basically hung out ever weekend from there. That was 2019. She's my best friend and has been very supportive with me trooning out.
>>44493306get a cat. got it. maybe igmi
>>44489219>My parents also had this way of mocking anything I liked that they didn'tI'm always surprised grown adults do this, especially to their own kids... Sucks having to remind people different people are different.
>>44490716I literally have no friends
>>44483204posting on this board brought my heavenly wife to me
