repping has destroyed my life and i'm going to kill myself very soon if i don't come out but the impossibility of passing combined with the impossibility of reclaiming my wasted youth makes me think killing myself is the right thing to do. i'm 6'2", a big fat ugly balding ogre, my entire twenties spent in my bedroom doing nothing on my computer pretending i don't exist, no real friends irl or online for a decade. all the memories i didn't make and now can never make. this life cannot be worth living. please help
>>44488284how did u even get to this point
>>44488288parasocial relationships
>>44488303LMAO, incredible how that is even possible
>>44488284I'm in the same position almost and it sounds silly but just goon to porn as much as possibleGooning makes pain go away because it sends happy chemicals to your brain
>>44488284Yeah, me too. I'm only 2 inches shorter than you, but i'm still transitioning anyway. I was legit norwood 3/4 a few years ago, but now I have a full head of frizzy hair and no beard. It may never be good, but it's better than the alternative
>>44488317i jack off two or three times a day but it makes me feel disgusting so i drink because that stops me from being horny, i'm having a bit of a breakdown realizing that this cant go on but i cant see any way out anymore
ive had it too good its all my fault i deserve this
>>44488284You could still make something out of it.What exactly have you tried to improve your situation?
>>44488520in recent years basically nothing, i've given up
kill me
>>44488284Yeah I can relate to the wasting youth part. I basically rotted and had my transitioned denied every time
>>44488579Worst case scenario you hrt repp
>>44488579At least try to save your hair? Finasteride and minoxidil might help a bitAs the other anon said you could try wet repping...
>>44488284im almost 30 and it was brutal meeting some trans people who have been out for 5+ years and they live every day as a girl and have boyfriends and girl friends and they go to parties and everyone sees them as a girl.
>>44489084i watch trans youtubers and streamers who have friends and it makes me feel a little better and a trillion times worse simultaneously. i'll never have that
>>44488323Remember women never do this, gooning to your favourite pornstars is something only men ever experience.Stop that
>>44489345i dont jack it to pornstars, i mostly read stories and write my own. also anime
d
>>44490077
i was a luckshit and i wasted my life repping online, i basically lived the same life as you despite being a luckshit, the only difference being the mirror makes me happy
>>44490966what a waste. your life is valuable so i hope you manage to make something of yourself or at least friends someday, i really should just die though
>>44490986i have no value i need to die
>>44491580if you are attractive you have value. its incel logic but its also unfortunately true
h
im a liar
scared
>>44488284literally me
I had different circumstances but I repped all my 20s and get big and fat. I've transisted for a 1.5years now. Life's good now, It required a lot of effort, I lost 10s of kilos, voice trained, etc etc. It's never to late Nona. shit sucks being a late bloomer but it's definitely better than what it was before.
>>44493184how did you do it
>>44493184hey im in similar circumstances a little behind. its hard to avoid the spiral but the effort has been worth it
u
>>44493225ygmi it really is worth it isn't it? been grieving life a lot recently and it's hard to spiral but I know I can grieve because life is different now>>44493202there's a lot of moving parts ngl. I started with hrt ofc and let it cook for 2 years before I socially transition. in that 2 years I worked on myself.I started with running, c25k, had to stop and restart a lot but the great the thing about running is that after the initial adjustment, doing exercise felt great even if it didn't directly relate to weight loss or body change like lifting. It made eating better and easier choice, it made going to gym later down the line easier, it gave me loads of energy and just some time all I had to do was focus on getting through the run. rumination was harder. I was going to kill myself before it all but I made a deal with myself that I get to kill myself but only if I try to transition, and I have to really really try, with everything I had. it was hard really hard, I went back to cutting myself during the most difficult times, but eventually after all the groundwork had been set, I was able to transition, make irl friends and actually enjoy life
>>44488317this is literally why tranny thoughts manifest so often as a sexual thing, because of the pain
