okay, i could be some sort of a trannyI have no desire to age as a male. Being male holds no importance to me. Being male is fine. In 20 years, it probably won't though, as my body and mind masculinizes.On the flip side, I could transition, take HRT and live life as a trans woman. I could finally, somewhat, actually, "be myself". I don't know what this means though. There isn't a set way to "live" as a "woman" or "man", I can literally do whatever I want, it doesn't require taking HRT or living as a "woman" or "man". So to say, what holds more importance to me is what I would genuinely prefer to do, and how I can just simply be myself. I don't know if I have dysphoria, I probably do but it's minor or i just don't notice it most of the time. Maybe I just have a more feminine gender identity or something, idk. Gender identity sounds kinda dumb to me. Sometimes the dysphoria hits hard. But I know I will get more dysphoric as I age. I guess I'd prefer to be female socially, and age like a woman as well. Once again, being male holds no significant resemblance to me, I don't actually care about it really. Stripped of all the sexuality, I would still choose to age as a woman and present myself as a woman rather than being a man that can delude into these fantasies as much as I can. If I had a button I could press that could turn me into an ordinary woman I'd probably press it. I don't have any major genital dysphoria it seems. If there was a button that gave me instant SRS or something I'd also probably still press it anyway. Boobs aren't really that important to me. What does this mean? I'm still somewhat confused. I know I've always envied women somewhat even before puberty. all of this has just been sitting on my mind and i've been trying to somewhat figure things out.This might not be a clear cut AGP question or anything anymore, it seems to be bigger than I expected. Have I been brainwashed or something? Is this really just all fucking AGP? Help
>>44491837Take your pills alice
>>44491862fuck off not now
Estradiol undecylate, 13 mg a month.
>>44491898
>>44491941Tick tock, white snow. Transition is a limited time offer. You wang to pass and not ne a john, 50, right?
>>44491993i guess so but iwnbaw or something idkstill im wondering if i was brainwashed or something. am i just doomed to troon out and be a tranny? i thought i was a normal man. why cant i be?fuck
>>44492013you're more likely to regret not having started hrt today than to regret having started hrt. We call them reppers, and they're all dead husks of a former human. You are now in the denial and bargaining stage, you will need to accept that you have a condition that will make you want to die unless you are a woman.
>>44492013Have you tried to be? Or have you mindlessly accepted and follow the dysthymic hedonic treadmill of your own baser most impulses and randomly come to this conclusion when you could no longer accept your own inaction and separation from your own life? Maybe you're just trapped in a pit of granular bullshit, trying to divine some essential meaning out of every single thing, and dismissing anything that doesn't seem to have definite purpose or structure to your own limited view, and instead of interrogating that you're assuming other people have answers where you don't.
>>44492013eveyone think and desperately begs god "it can't be me. It can't happen to me. Why, god, is it happening to me? Why me? Why can't I be like the rest". It's part of realizing you're fucked
>>44492059>condition that will make you want to die unless you are a womanwhatever the fuck this meansi genuinely think this was brought upon me in some way and that i wasnt born with thisat least i wish to think soi do not think i should feed into thisfuck mewhy cant i just be a man for the past years ive literally been doing it finethis has only come up somewhat recently in my lifei dont think i should troon outplus i dont strictly feel like this all the time anywayfuck you why am i this way i swear im just schizo or something maybe i dont know anymore
>>44492097uhhi do not quite understand your cacophony of magic words silly fella
i know repping is incredibly fucking pathetic but im going to do it anyway
>>44492110the feelings of angst will only grow until you can't function anymore, then you kill yourself
>>44492059But this is 100% true. Take it from a seasoned repper, it will only get worse. Yes you can pretend to be okay for a few months and then tear up and break down again like me right now. I regret not trooning out earlier but now it feels like I missed my window. Just waiting to find the courage to rope atp
>>44491837in any case take fin and min literally 0 downside
im still very skeptical
i still believe this could just be entirely agp induced gender dysphoria or something
fuck you god why do i did i haveto be trans or whatever
holy heck
i might just schizo out o algo or something that would be cool
Start E + Anti Androgens, really.>>>/hrtgen/
>>44492386im not made out of money btw sorryill start hrt rigghttt tafter itake this piss sactually 4 sure
>>44492400a lifetime of E costs 400€, there are no excuses. If you're not willing to homebrew your own vials, a ready made vial that can last a year or more only costs 50€
>>44492409im back and i dont feel trans anymore so its fine and i feel like pretty manly and malebrained n sheeittt thanks anyawy ill be making another thread potentially in the next week or so if i need to
im not trans btw, if that matters
mentally ill man***ev&oe ill probably like troon out tomorrow or something
i also like made everything up btw
