Some people might remember the post I made a while ago, where I said my plan of doing IV heroin because I felt like I had hit rock bottom.I did 20mg IV the second time, first one was around 30mg insufflated in different dosages.Was pretty nice, felt awesome.I think it gave me the mental space to keep going and turn my life around. Shit sucks, but I'm making it better.To be honest, I don't think I'll do it again. It feels awesome, yeah, but so do other drugs, and I value being sober a lot. It was a relatively, albeit retarded learning experience.Just posting so people don't worry and know I'm alive
god I'm hoping you don't try it again. that shit is HARD as a motherfucker to kick. you think you can stop and then you go "just one more". godspeed.
It’s nice for a while until you are so addicted to it you have to time our your doses before and after work to even be able to sleep. Be careful or your life will revolve around it, there are a lot of functional heroin addicts but man does it become your entire life. Stop now unless you want to live on your phone and buy in bulk just so you don’t get sick at someone’s birthday party because it strays slightly out of your normal routine.
>>44608145It’s so bad to kick, oh yeah also OP have fun when you finally do try to kick years from now after it’s ruined your life having liquid come out of every orifice in your body and all the poop you haven’t pooped for years finally comes spraying out all over your toilet because you had to make the choice over pooping or throwing up into it. And also being depressed for months and months and months due to PAWS.
>>44608130i want to try heroin but i have bpd so i would get addicted probably with the first use
>>44608157I don't plan on doing it again. I wrote an experience report on it, and that's kinda it. My magnum opus to finish my drug-experimenting retarded thing I started as a teen.Still there's some people that didn't believe me. This is my track mark(s): https://litter.catbox.moe/aqv4wdwkf92vk2pm.jpg The bottom one is a mosquito bite, but I did miss two times in my left arm. This is my right arm.
>>44608175me too lol, what are we supposed to do?
>>44608171ugh, you just reminded me of trying to lean over the side of the bathtub to puke while sitting on the toilet. god, fuck that.
>>44608175i have bpd and npd and it was fine.>>44608171both dosages were separated by a week. I don't plan on doing any more. It's retarded, and unbelievably dangerous. on the IV one, my automatic breathing stopped, and I had to set a metronome to remember to manually breathe.There's way better drugs, I'd rather be on stims and play league like a bunny on meth or code all night lol. Downers just aren't my thing.
>>44608171every orifice in your body? made in abysshon
>>44608196well i self harm pretty badly and drink sometimes but drinking feels bad enough that i can go months without drinking anything. the best thing to do would be to just stay away from all addictive substances i guess
>>44608225ah i self harm too, very infrequently but when i do it's bad. im being medicated currently with wellbutrin and prozac and it feels pretty good, i just wish i cared less about people so id stop harming myself
>>44608209>i have bpd and npd and it was finewell it's different for everyone. i can totally see myself trying H once and ODing within a month
>>44608225The hangover from the first time was fucking awful. I don't know if I just didn't hydrate enough or what, but it felt like I had a bad flu for 3 days. Disgusting. I used to cut. I hate drinking. I hate downers, they don't make me productive. I guess heroin might be the exception because it feels really good, but honestly I prefer tramadol. It makes me so stimmy that I get shit done, and it also feels good.BPD fucking sucks. I've suffered from it since I was 16 or so, and it has fucking destroyed everything I ever touched. Every personal relationship, everything. It might be going into remission slightly. I think I'm going to start bupropion for it.>>44608251yep correct. I have tried almost every drug (except apvp, i wish I could get that), so I have lots of experience, and also I don't take them to have fun or get high. I write, and write, and write, and dwell a lot in my experiences. I don't take them outside or go party, just in a controlled setting in my room. If you have experience, it might be safe. If it's one of your first drugs, please do not get close to this shit. It's extremely dangerous, and it feels way too good. But honestly, compared to other drugs, this one might be a bit overrated. I'd rather have a good LSD trip. TLDR: do not get close to this shit if you're not extremely experienced, or if you don't care about addiction and/or dying.
This is snippets of messages I sent to a person here that DM'd me on Discord in the first post, after the IV trip:absolutely fucking awful. Some shitty stuff has happened to me recently. I guess that prompted me to, of course, get high as balls. I then just told my gf to grab it and put it in her home, lots of hours away.I guess it gave me a quiet place to think, though, as many drugs had done in the past. Even though it sounds paradoxical, in the presence of pure, extreme bliss, I just curled up and cried until I couldn't cry more. I opened up to my ex about my SA being the reason why I broke up with her, and I also talked with a bunch of people that had stopped talking to me for miscellaneous reasons.It's fucked up. All of it is fucked up, and I don't deserve any of it. I've never done anything bad to people, at least willingly. I know I'm NPD and a smartass and that I lack empathy, but I am not a bad person.I did sign up to take a test to be able to go to redacted next year, which would be my 5th year. That's nice. I hope I get in the redacted course thing again too. I think I might also start bupropion. I know just how good adhd meds do to me, they have fixed my life more than once.My gf also looked at a redacted job for me, he knows a guy. It pays pretty well, and I am a redacted, so that'd be cool. I'm really hyped, but I have a weird sense that it won't go through.I guess next month I also have an appointment to a otolaryngologist, which can try to refer me for VFS. At this point I've almost completely given up in the healthcare system though, and I've been coding a lot. I managed to design a system, it's a redacted thing, cutting edge, that if ends up coming through would make me thousands in the span of weeks. I really hope that.i redacted personal info but yeah i think this last trip really turned my life around
i think the worst part is just how much boredom affects me. rn i'm bored enough to open 4chan for my 2nd time ever, and i cant stop thinking on getting high on anything. Unfortunately, that only thing I have rn is just fucking heroin. I still have one syringe, I could do it, but it would be fucking stupid. ill just pop some concerta or some kpins and go to sleep, even though i don't enjoy neither of those. bleh, ill just keep coding, getting thousands of dollars for vfs and srs would give me a bigger high any drug would do.
>>44608474strongly recommend you get rid of that syringe ASAP (without injecting it ofc) or your plan to turn your life around and not do it again is going to go sideways in a heartbeat and get unimaginably worse. heroin is not a drug that fixes your life, it is for ruining lives, it will ruin yours too if you think you're too different/special to be susceptible. that's a promise
>>44608538the syringe is for my estrogen. but yea, not going to do it anymore, much less alone. i am not special at all, i am not different. i just have experience and know the shortcomings more than most. that just makes me wiser, and I have experienced first-hand how scary it is. I don't want to experience first-hand how fucking awful it is.I just wish my life was better. I wish I got srs, i wish i got vfs. I wish i had a job, I wish I wasn't so depressed. I don't want to be high. I fucking hate being high. I value my sobriety so much. I just want to be able to do things and work towards a goal. But it feels like everything is conspiring against me.i just want to start living.fuck.
>>44608145Unfortunately she will, and by the time she realizes the mistake she made it'll be too late.
>>44608614i know how scary it is. I don't even have a way to get it that doesn't take me a month to get it, and I have very little. I don't plan to do it.
>>44608781Glad I never got into harder opiates, nowadays alcohol is my main vice and I'm not sure if that's any better.
>>44608837ive only done tramadol, oral morphine, and now this shit. honestly the only one that i enjoy is tramadol. be careful with opiates. Alcohol also destroys you, so be careful.
