Been on setralin for like 2 weeks now. And it feels like maybe im getting more GD?Before i used to freak out a lot about being cis actually or faketrans or whatever and that ill hate having boobs. Now that kinda calmed down and instead i either: Feel nothing OR i vaguely and oddly calmly realize i would rather not be a guy/be a woman.But also that occasionally lead me to like idk, bemoaning the fact that im amab/look male more often when im in that kinda mood. Usually its about my height, face (esp facial hair), hands, as well as ribcage and shoulders. Plus some general sadness about waiting this long to troon out.Tho its not super bad, in fact it feels kinda odd, less like dysphoria and more like the future possibility of dysphoria if i keep feeling like this. In general its all a bit dampened. Whereas before id be freaking out about hating having boobs and will regret taking E, now i might like, vaguely think about it, but not freak out and be more likely to go "or ill just get used to it" or sth like that. If anything im more likely now to be spooked that my breasts will look bad (either on their own or bc they wont look fitting on my upper body) instead of being scared id hate them no matter what.
>>44608539that's pretty much what happened to me too so i get it. just try to get on hrt asap if you really feel like you'll regret it on the long run. also i don't want to sound corny but you ate not faketrans or whatever, try to ignore those thoughts
the medication is probably reducing your ability to dissociate & just making you more aware of your suppressed emotions
>>44608539"This image is me!"Nay, for it mogs me.
>>44608841Im already on hrt (almost 1 year), i was only freaking out so much bc im already in the process of growing breasts rn lol.>>44608859Yeah i was guessing it might be sth like that too but idk. Today i felt mostly just nothing again. But idk a few days ago i was pretty sure i didnt wanna be a guy.Not entirely certain tho, since if i was disassociating less id be expecting like, bad and severe dysphoria. And instead its kinda like a calm acceptance of "ok yeah ig i do mostly prefer being not male/female so i should do this" and "ok yeah it does kinda suck then i have xyz male feature".And not as much sobbing about how im a ribcage hon or whatever.
>>44608976oh okay got iti thought you weren't on hrt yet because i've been on antidepressants for over a year and i still have not been able to access hrt
>>44609039Yeah i did it the other way around, sorry you still havent been able to get on hrt :/.If its actually gonna work like this for me (antidepressants making me realize im prob trans for good) then lowkey id prefer having done it the other way around. Cuz i was freaking out *a lot* about "oh what if im not trans and making a massive mistake and will have to detrans/get a mastectomy" etc.Well ig im not out of the woods yet, could still not help. Its only been 2 weeks of antidepressants and my freak outs could come back and just be on a low currently. But idk.
