i hate being trans. i wish there were some sort of silver lining to it but i really hate it. i hate that this is on my mind every single day, for years and years, and feeling this pain when i see other people. its a tired phrase but i really do feel like a woman trapped in a mans body, and i still struggle to make peace with that. even though there are many things to be grateful for in life, there is still a feeling of wrongness, every single day. i wish i had a feminine voice, i wish i were female in every way although voice is one of my fixations right now because womens voices are amazing and here am i stuck sounding like some annoying dude who talks funny. but enough about voice. i wish i could feel like a woman, sometimes i really do feel like a woman, but it's always fleeting. i dont think i will ever be able to truly feel like i am a woman. and truly i will never be a woman, and i am stuck with these feelings and a stupid vicarious projection of what it might have been like. my transition didn't even succeed in any of the ways i wanted it to. i will never look female, my family will always keep telling me it was a mistake, and instead of feeling like a woman i just feel like a freak. there were a few years i really did think i was a woman, but with time it becomes clearer that could never be the case. i hate this shit;. gonna post this on 4chan im so upset
then stop taking estrogen
>>44610005I hate being trans too, but I keep reminding me how much worse life could be in order to cope
>>44610005i cope with it by not perceiving everyone else as a human beingi don't see an alternative to my existence because all the other people are just decoration. my life is full of suffering, and it's neither bad nor good, it's how it's supposed to be
