This is the worst place to go for this but I need to externalize what happened and gain perspective. For background, I came out as trans in 2013.I went to plug my phone in the communal charger. Unplugged my mother's. Her phone was unlocked on notepad. Hindsight my sweet savior, but I saw my name, so looked at the note.In summary. She had written (I guess to journal) that 'what i put into my body made me a monster', that 'I was always be her beautiful little girl -full deadname-' and that now I am 'just a hairy ugly woman.'I hurt myself bad and bled alot. I tried to talk to my dad. He excused her behavior saying she was just frustrated and that I needed to forgive. I called my sister and she was nice and helped ground me.My life as I know it is a lie. My mom feigned support for 15 years. My life has shattered. I am utterly lost I utterly don't know what to do. I don't have the money to move. I am extremely suicidal and have not stopped crying. I have stoped.bleeding for now. I have been sitting on the bathroom floor.for 3 hours. I don't know wha to do now. My life has been upended. My life has been completely totally changed in less than 20 seconds. I think I will check into the hospital tonight. I wanted to hear thoughts. I know trans men are not looked upon kindly here but I am begging for empathy. I am ready to die. I'm not lying I am op of this image and this is her. Can I please see some wishes of death in the comments.
Whenever I saw a "mom" on tv or movies I always thought their behavior was unrealistic and exaggerated, same with moms irl, my first thought was that they were pretending to like their kids in public but it still hurt, why couldn't she at least pretend to like me? As I grew older I realized I was unlucky enough to live in a negligent home, some people do not deserve their kids, I'm sorry this happened to you Anon, it is awful to realize the person that is supposed to love you the most resents you.
>>44610580As an mtf troon i feel for you anon. This shit is pretty much the most hurtful experience you can have, but I'd implore you to stay alive out of spite, fuck that bitch, be the man you want to be.
>>44610580>came out as trans in 2013and in 13 fucking years you couldn't man up and move?sorry bro but there comes a moment when you're no longer a victim of someone else but rather the victim of your own stupid choices.>I don't have the money to moveOh, but of course. What the fuck have you been doing for the last 13 years? You haven't saved up a single dime? You haven't worked at all? Why?!Start working and start saving up.>inb4 but i can'tOh yes you can. You're not a child and you have duties and responsibilities to yourself.
>>44610707Have some empathy, not everyone is agp compsci hon making 6 figs in Seattle.
>>44610717>Have some empathyNo. Empathy is what has gotten OP in this situation.Tough love is what so many of y'all really need.>not everyone is agp compsci hon making 6 figs in SeattleShut up. I'm a gayden in a non-EU country of Europe working the night shift. Welfare in the US is bigger per month than my wage for 2 months.You people are choosing to be dysfunctional. You get too much empathy, in fact.
>>44610580well she'll say the trans mind virus got to you and she wins then doesn't she? "you'll always be my little X" is some guilt trip bs every parent uses to infantilize your personality into what you were when the parents were the only influence on you, basically a cope that because they influenced you first, anything new you acquire is simply outside influence and fake and not you being your own person and making your own decisions outside of their approvalessentially it's an immature statement and writing it is maladaptive daydreaming from the reality of having a child who has grown beyond your controlwhy treat immaturity with a such a serious response? you know it's just because of an algorithm too because it took this long for the hatred to come out
>>44610717>Have some empathyI guess somebody should have warned them that men don't get empathy.
That is some twisted gross shit but you'll be okay man. I'm realising about my mum that everyone really lives in their own little stupid little worlds, and they'll never understand you and they'll never even try, but it's okay, because you just have to make heaven in your own world. I don't know how but I'm trying. I hope hospital helps and you don't cut yourself up too badly (even though I understand the need), don't give your enemies the pleasure.
>>44610580You will get through this. I'm sorry she thinks these things. It hurts to have years of trust shattered. But you'll be okay. Spend more time with people who love you.
