I realized I was transgender 7 years ago, when I was 17. I still haven't. I thought I would be able to get on it when I turned 18, max 19. but I severely overestimated it. the despair I feel is immeasurable. imagine what 7 years of estrogen could have done to me, I would be so happy now, but I'm not. I'm still not on hrt.I've never been closer to suicide, should I finally do it, the pain of regret is too much and I don't know if I can stomach waiting years for hrt results? please give me reasons not to do it
just fucking start estrogenthe best time to start estrogen was before puberty, the second best time is now
>>44614555I do not know if I can handle waiting years for results, only for 3, 4, 5 years to pass and I don't look very different
I had the chance to start my transition at 19, a very good chance and I lost it for being retarded, only kept going because...I don't know I just did but I spent most of my time drunk and high, managed to get through college, got a scholarship, a research internship and a well paid job at a huge company, but I was at my limit, my head just couldn't handle it anymore and I snapped, I quit everything and went into isolation, took me months to recover but my life was over, had no choice but to get a "job" in something completely unrelated to what I studied, a job that doesn't pay me anything or gives me hope for the future, I am unsure what I am going to do if I ever get "fired",BUT, this allowed me to start hrt, I'm feeling better than ever, my mind is still foggy but clear enough, I no longer do self destructive shit, it changed my life.
>>44614573Hrtrepping is still better than cold repping
>>44614469It's not an uncommon experience at all. Life happens, and despite what bigots say it's not that easy to start HRT
>>44614655I'm not talking about repping vs not repping. I'm talking about either killing myself or finding some reason why it's till worth it to start
>>44614469>>44614683OP we've all been there: "it's too late no point even starting hrt I should just kms" but when you actually start hrt you feel 1000% better mentally. Even oldshits go from crippling depression to occasional depression.
>>44614573if you're not willing to wait years for results then what are you even doing? it's GOING to take years. do you want to stop being an empty shell of a human or not?
>>446147362-3 years of constant anxiety with a chance of being happy, a chance. or suicide now and no more pain
>>44614752choice seems clear to me. if you wanna give up early I guess you can though
>>44614792I should
>>44614573You in 7 more years: I had the chance to get on hrt when I was 24 the despair I feel is immeasurable etc etc etc I’m am going to kill myself. It might take a while to see results, but if you don’t take hrt you’ll see no results and the time will just pass
>>44614683there's no afterlife so killing yourself is one of the most pointless things you can possibly do. just inject your shit (or don't). if your life matters so little to you that you're contemplating suicide, why wouldn't you just start E? there's a chance it won't do much for you and you'll still be at square one, looking up "how to tie a noose", but there's also the chance it WILL do something, so why not take it?
