I often freak out about not actually being trans, since i have very little gender dysphoria. And some parts of trooning out dont massively appeal to me. Like i sometimes freak out about growing boobs and am a lil scared i might not manage being socially female. Or that i dont desperately need to transition like some other people do.However despite that i keep vaguely identifying with tranny shit and lightly prefering being female ig. And wishing i had transitioned sooner and thinking id prob be a lil if i grew up as a girl. Plus taking E for like a year now has, besides the afromentioned freak outs, made me a lil happier with how i look (especially my face and body hair, but also sometimes body and chest).One friend recommended i might just be a woman, but not care that terribly much. Like id be lightly better off female, but just dont massively care about it and might just be kinda gender apathetic once id get there.And like it does kinda vibe with me ngl. But also i feel like thats impossible?Like its a very cis approach to gender i guess. It feels like, just by virtue of being trans, i cannot afford being apathetic like that. Like its not allowed kinda.Same thing with boobs, it makes sense cis women just kinda dont care about boobs, they didnt really have a choice. But it feels like im not allowed to have that kinda opinion, since im doing it voluntarily.
>>44615431I have this experience. Gender militants won't allow it because it's like breaking ranks with their crusade or something, cis people will be more likely to think you are one of the good ones and will find you easier to tolerate
>>44615525Really? Id have assumed cis people expect you to be very non apathetic.I mean afterall growing boobs seems increadibly outlandish to them. If your reasoning then is "well i dont really care about them but i figured ill get used to it and i like the rest of it", wont they have a harder time buying into it?Compared to someone that goes "Well yeah i wanted to be a woman really badly and its great having boobs and i love them and wanted them really bad".Also wdym with "gender millitants"? Because accepting this is a fine reason for transition makes trans-ness closer to a choice, so some ppl might argue its bad for optics? Or do you mean sth else?
>>44615431It's 2026 anon, you can do whatever you want and you've got no one to please other than yourself.So long as you're happy with your body, who cares yk
>>44615915It's all outlandish to them. The "I just really wanted boobs I'm really a woman inside" is just more outlandishness in their view, even to cis women. The one that reminds normies the least of their being freakish is the one they hate the least. But if you're clocky then they always have to look at something freakish.
>>44616006>It's all outlandish to them.True but at least "i really really wanted all of this" gives more of an explanation for doing the outlandish thing than "well yeah its whatever i guess i mostly did it for other reason, hell i might even get my boobs removed [which is prob even more outlandish to them]", doesnt it?
If this weren't an emotionally charged issue it would be fine to transition merely because you want to.
>>44615936Ik, but first of idk what will make me happy, so having some framework to operate within helps me to not make a wrong choice. Like im not even sure im apathetic like i described, i just think its one possible explanation and now i wondering that if its the case im like that, doesnt it kinda not fit in with "normal transness" so id have to consider that?But thats also kinda besides the point cuz i mostly mean it as a philosophical question ig. Like:> Can trans people have a similar amount of neutrality about their gender and body as cis people?Bc on one hand why shouldnt they if cis ppl do. But on the other hand youd have to care enough about your gender BY DEFINITION to even be trans to begin with.So eg:> Can trans women just feel neutral about their boobs? Unlike cis women they chose to get them, shouldn't that necessitate a deep desire for it? Why else do it? What if they just see it as incidental to their transition and not primary? Does that make sense or not? Arguably cis women care about their boobs too as well (they get generally unhappy if they have a breast cancer required mastectomy and somewhat frequently get cosmetic procedures to enlargen or shape breasts) so maybe the premise is even wrong to begin with?Like idk i feel like mayb there are a few interesting questions in here.
Can I ask your age op?Pretty sure this is a common vibe for the early thirties crowd. Mellowed out with age and not old enough to go full John50 crashout.
>>44616104I agree but isnt it a lil contradictory? On my part.Like both saying i vaguely want to transition, but also saying im somewhat apathetic to it. To want to do sth youd need a desire for it, but that very thing is in question here right.
>>44616251Im a lil early then ig, im mid 20s, actually 25 exactly.
>>44616503Ah well good on you for your maturityI don't think high-functioning tranny brainworms is too wild when you consider that other high-functioning neuroses exist e.g. high-functioning depression or high-functioning alcoholism.If you had a friend who drank three or four drinks a night but was still a decent person with a job and a relationship, you'd still consider them an alcoholic who should try to quit or drink less.That's how I see it at least.
>>44616392I think the flaw is in the high activation energy that is supposedly required for this to be a good idea. That shouldn't exist.In an ideal world if a kid comes to class and says I wanna be X. Everybody should be consider it boring and beneath consideration. Because power brokers have exploited these issues to scare older and less opened minded people you now believe you need to suffer more in order for it to become okay. You believe it needs to be justified.We shouldn't need to justify it. It shouldn't be a big thing.
this deeply ingrained idea that i need to have an acceptable explanation for everything i do before i've even had a chance to see if it is right for me still fucks with me
>>44615431>But it feels like im not allowed to have that kinda opinion, since im doing it voluntarily.no shit that the thing that requires upkeep to do, results in you facing massive social backlash, and is probably costing you money, is expected to have literally any motive behind it.i am nonbinary but i'm trans because i don't like being male. if you don't give a fuck why do you give a fuck?>>44617887how about just a drive to do something in the first place lol
>>44616689So i should detroon? Or wdym with that alcoholism comparison lol.>>44617472Idk i partially agree that ideally itd be super easy and wouldnt need (much) justification.But even in the most idealistic pro transgender world imaginable it would be possible for a cis person to end up on hrt by accident. And if its bad for a tranner to not get hrt itd be equally bad for a cis person to end up on it.So even in an idealized world there would be a small, but present, risk to taking hrt. And that will have to still be justified, no one wants to have to get a mastectomy or do laser because they ended up on the wrong hormone for some time.>>44617887Same for me, but im not sure if i just didnt have time to realize if its right for me yet or if im just too delusional to realize it is/isnt. Hence im still clamoring for some rationalization, ideally for why i should/shouldnt stay on hrt, but also just for why i even tried it in the first place or why i should or shouldnt keep trying.>>44617939Yeah this is the opposite argument as to why it should require justification.> if you don't give a fuck why do you give a fuck?idk :c. I wish i knew if its because i do truly give a fuck, but sometimes manage to make myself think i dont. Or because i dont gaf and got confused by the internet into growing boobs or whatever.
