I tried. I really really tried. I really wanted to live for myself. I've never liked myself. I never loved myself. Lots of people love the me I show to the world, but I can't love myself. I can't be someone else, not who I want to be. I can't escape him. I can't escape the hand I was dealt. I hate being a tranny so much. I hate this life. I've failed at everything. I can't get a livable wage. I can't find love. I can't find comfort. I just hate myself so much. I wish I was beautiful and normal. I wish I had any confidence in myself. I don't. I'm going to be forced to move back home, with nothing to show for all of my hard work. I just hate myself so much. I hate myself so much. Maybe if I paint the ceiling with tranny blood they'll love it. Maybe the red flower that is going to bloom from the back of my skull will make them love me. I think I'm going to join the 41%. Finally a work of art they'll appreciate. Beats living in this shameful facade of a woman and living off scraps. I'm giving it one month. One month to try this one last thing, try to turn it all around, and if I can't, then I'll go home, make peace with them all, and that'll be it. I won't have to live like this anymore.Trans joy isn't real. There is no pride. There is no happiness. There is only cope and surrender. I don't love myself enough to cope any longer than this. I got a few months resembling joy, that's enough for me. Being born this way just isn't worth powering through another number of decades. Anything breaks with enough pressure. I'm sorry I couldn't live to spite them.
dont really know what to say sorry but real desu...
