The thread formerly known as vent.Image board edition. Post a picture with your post if you have a good oneA thread to vent, have someone to talk to, commiserate, or just post into the void.A few things to remember:>If you think you know anon, but dont have decisive evidence, no, you probably don't.>We are all grieving in our own way. Please respect how people process their emotions.>Nobody here is your psychiatrist, therapist, doctor, or lawyer.Previous thread: >>44667240
>>44719964What happened here?>>44710634It depends so much on the situation. You should consider getting some closure about your feelings.
>>44710566 (Cross-thread)Happy birthday, anon>>44707675 (Cross-thread)What kind of reactions do you get?>>44713867 (Cross-thread)Tell us some of your ideas
midnight bump
>>44722376I miss my ex gf from here that groomed me, so bad, the only reason why we aren’t still dating is because she deleted her account. it’s all my fault.
>>44723262Why do you think it's your fault what happened? I hope you can find the space to understand it more, you shouldn't miss her like that! Didn't she hurt you?
>>44723365it’s my fault because I sperged out on her, she became a bit distant so I thought she didn’t love me so I said some things I regret, she would’ve never left me if I didn’t say anything. She didn’t hurt me, we were both consenting and happy so I don’t see a problem, I never sent her nudes. I miss her so bad, she is an angel.
honestly seconds away from just outright killing myself, im so tired of being alive, every miserable minute is torment nobody likes me nobody will ever love me i need to disappear so badly its like a celebration waiting to happen for everyone else anyway actually thats putting too much value on it at best itd be some indifference if its even noticed haaha haha hplease god meteor strike my house already before i slice open my entire body
>>44724559what's making you feel so bad? what makes you think nobody likes you or will love you?
>>44724617i could go on for years, im a neglected parasite with no sense of understanding how to just have normal connections with people so i overbear and annoy until im hated, which makes me start naturally walling people off which just makes things worse because now im the one coming off distant when i dont want distance at all i want a close friend so badly but i cant trust anyone to be there for me or not hate me at all i dont know how to ask for things i dont know how to just break the ice i dont know my body is revolting i mutilate it every day with bruises or cuts im stuck im stuck im paralyzed in fear with everything, every time ive tried fixing my life it crashes down on me spectacularly, my only options really are rotting in my corner where i wont inconvenience anyone or wearing a mask for all eternity until people get bored i really am just going utterly fucking insane under the weight of my own thoughts and feelings and i get so attached to peple i find remotely cool that okay im going to shut up im going to shut up im sorry anon
>>44724649im a worthless freak i have no friends and no connection to people whatsoever those who get to know me abandon me because im too much of a burden because im too fucked in the head from all the years of dissociation repping and depression all ive ever wanted is for someone to be interested in me someone that wants to understand me and not having to be treated like the man in every single thing in the world for once just someone who wants to be there for me help me console me but im undeserving of love of attention of care and there is nothing i can do
>>44724698same
I often tell people these days I'm constantly right about everything. The immediate kneejerk reaction is that I must be horribly full of myself. And in a sense they're right.But what does it matter if it's the truth?I knew exactly what would happen to me. I did everything in my power to prevent it. I tried to keep it all to myself, because people would always insist that having too negative of an outlook will sabotage yourself. But that's a lie. It didn't matter. She cheated on me and tossed me away for nothing. When I was absolutely in love with her, getting everything ready to be able to take care of her, having so much in common, having so many shared goals. I did everything right and none of it mattered. She and so many others tried to tell me I "deserve so much". That I would easily find someone better, someone who'd treat me like I deserve. I knew I wouldn't. Not because I don't deserve it, but because no one actually cares. No one sees someone doing good deeds and decides "Wow, that really makes me want to be in their life and help them succeed." Intelligence, creativity, what kind of life you've been forced to live and managed to make something of, no one gives the remotest of shits. You're still not worth fuck all compared to the person who's utterly awful but somewhat hotter. You still aren't worth shit compared to someone who's never had to struggle and is endlessly positive from how out of touch they are. The life I deserved was never going to be mine. People just told me all those nice things because they wanted it to be true, because it would mean their horrible actions didn't have any real repercussions. "It's fine if I cheat because someone will be better than me and deal with the fallout instead!" Everyone "hopes things get better". No one ever wants to be the reason things do. But they'll sure as fuck accept anyone offering to improve their life, before throwing them away right after.
>>44724649>>44724698It's okay anon, you don't have to apologise for venting. I'm so sorry you've been self-harming and having all these horrible thoughts. How do you think the pattern of distancing people starts? It's important to understand why it repeats like that. How would you like people to treat you instead of how they have been?
>>44724649>>44724698Bits of that remind me of a friend I have and I really wish I knew how to help, but I'll at least say that you shouldn't be afraid of being overbearing. If someone doesn't like you as you are, it wouldn't have worked out anyways. And somebody who's healthy to be around will just tell you calmly if you actually do need to chill out. It's hard not being afraid of people, but you just have to go for it. Sometimes it's really worth it
my ex gf who i fully believed i would be with for life decided to move to spain (we are from the us btw) on a whim and didn't tell me until she found employment and her visa was approved. the breakup was obviously pretty messy and i took it badly. that was like a month ago and yesterday i stalked her spotify bc i'm insane and she posted a tracklist for her next album and at two songs are definitely about me. idk why i did that-- i was getting over it but it kind of made me spiral. she never wrote me a love song but i get two breakup songs where she gets to express all her self-pity over breaking my heart. doesn't seem fair imo!
>>44725047not fair at all
>>44725047That's fucked up and not right. My "soul mate" of 12 years did the same kind of thing to me a few years ago. It can take a while to grieve but all I can say is once you think you've cried enough you should really try to just put yourself in the headspace you were in before you met her, try to find some continuity and forget about the in-between parts.
Cant get any puh and women try to troon me and turn me out for tricks
big week for me. i hope im not crazy. fuck. i want this so bad.
>>44725047as a musician myself, I just wanna say that usually when I write a song I need to work through something that's hard for me. I've never written a love song for my soulmate because honestly, loving her has been the most easy and natural thing I've ever done. But I write a lot about the ways I fail or come up short in our relationship.
is my life getting worse?
just let me die already whats the point seeing everyone get to live normal lives and pass at some point while im stuck forever like this for far to long
>31 year old repper>spent most of my life stagnant because I was a retard literally afraid of personal growth>vast majority of my friends have abandoned me over the last couple years, few who haven't obviously just feel sorry for me>personal life is a wreck, hate my job, hate where I live, hate my family>finally tried going to therapy semi-recently but it just feels pointless now, haven't even brought up dysphoria because what does it matter>been on antidepressants for a few months but barely feel any different>been on a couple dates but I can't get past the feeling that I'm just wasting their time and mine>genuinely don't see any option other than running a warm bath and slitting my wrists or downing a whole prescription bottle and letting my heart implodeEven if things magically did get better somehow I wouldn't want to live much longer because the last 30 years of my life are always going to torment me. Why did I have to be like this. Never let anyone tell you life has meaning it's just random bullshit and then you're gone.
>>44725047had a similar thing. ex cheated on me and then wrote some poetry and drew some art about how awful she supposedly felt. didnt stop her from immediately fucking another person and never even giving me a real apology.
I can't stand the thought of living the rest of my life as a woman but I'm terrified transitioning will be the wrong thing to do
It's too tiring to even bother venting anymore. I just need a miracle before I run out of money or a swift painless death by chance like getting insta killed in a car accident or struck by lighting. Can't take it anymore my life is a fucking trainwreck and I'm actively making it worse day by day
>>44727475what do you have to lose by transitioning, if that's how you feel?
Getting (You)s since coming back here this weekend has been the most social interaction outside of family I've had in months
i hate you so much. you led me on for years and hid everything from me, pretended i was special, used me for sex, then dropped me when i said i was falling in love. you're a terrible person, and playing victim is laughable. i really hope you seek help. you're evil, fuck you, rot in hell.
>>44725405>>44725515thank y'all for the sanity check. we met up about a week after the breakup and her interpretation of everything was so different and it made me feel completely insane. & yeah i am doing my best to go back to normal, but i wish all the happy memories of her didn't feel like they were under false pretense? like i can't look back on anything and feel good about it because i was in love and she was preparing to go basically anywhere but our state. >>44728413it's humiliating, isn't it? our exes side of the story is the one that gets told. i write and draw, too, but she is the performer and the one with a platform. my art will never leave my journal
im an abject failure. im living with my gfs parents and them and my mother both are always on my back for being a neet. i have tried over and over again to hold down a job but i am so autistic that the coworkers and managers will torture me for being too “slow” and not responding to authority the same way as others until i quit. i cant tap into any of my old shitty subpar talents anymore so i just bedrot and get high to deal with the pain of existing. my gf is always trying to uplift me but i cant stop drowning. i feel so guilty and she deserves so much better than me. i just turned 28 and have no friends left. im going to try to get on disability but even that seems to set off my inlaws and mother. i will never be enough for anyone i have left other than my gf and everyone is hellbent on tormenting me until i am “functional” i use weed to manage my pain, dysphoria, and autism related issues and everyone just treats me like a burnout stoner. i dont want to take pharmaceutical “mental health” drugs because theyre just used to make everyone obedient cattle. i have to literally teach my theyfab therapist how to deal with my issues so im not even getting proper therapy. i am at the point where im only staying alive to not hurt my gf. otherwise, id probably kill myself. my gf deserves a real woman who can give her a good life and relationship
>>44729707and every time i try to get close to anyone other than my gf, they cannot be normal about me and i end up getting hurt. im always someones fetish, pity project, pet retard, competition, broken bird, etc., etc. they always end up hating me when they realize im an individual with my own identity and emotions
>>44722376noticed my lateshit friend has gotten more breast growth than i have in 5 years as a youngshit. i’m legitimately completely flat and still look more like a twink and nowhere close to being even the facsimile of a woman. neither injections nor upping my dose nor progesterone or anything has fixed this. no man or woman could ever love me. i should 41 but im too much of a coward.
i keep unfriending people and isolating when my mood gets really bad. i wish i didn't get possessed by the retard demon just because i'm upset
no one has ever loved me. seriously. nobody loves me i just live my life completely isolated and alone and i can't handle it at all. and i know that for my life to have turned out this way it must be my fault, i know, and i hate myself so much for it, but i don't know what i'm supposed to do. all i want, all i've ever wanted is for someone to love me. i wish i had people in my life that i made happy that wanted me around. but i don't. and i'm so depressed i just spiral and further retreat into myself and the problem gets worse and worse. i think i'm gonna end up killing myself any day now. i'm so sad.
I can’t believe they’re going to remember me as this. I can’t bear the thought of this creature at a wedding altar with my boyfriend, or stuffed into a coffin, or advocating for clients in court.
>>44729022I'm sorry I'm so so sorry I've said it a thousand times I don't know how to fix it but I'm trying
i miss two girls i met through here, at separate times, in separate ways. both were just friends, one relationship was hornier than the other, one was just very tender. neither exploded, they just fizzled and snuffed out, like a jar candle drowning in its own wax.one was a few years younger than me, she has the most delightful edgy sense of humor, such a deep capacity for empathy and seeing the best in others - everyone but herself. we fucked a couple times. sometimes i miss how she tasted. towards the end of our friendship she got sad, so sad. talked about suicide pretty regularly, barely ate, stopped taking her meds. i wanted more than anything to help, but the more i tried, the more distant she became. i had a bad falling out with a mutual friend, a pedophile chaser guy, and she stopped talking to me altogether, because i'm more worthless than he is i guess. i'm sorry if i hurt you. i miss you.the other is one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. so hardworking, so giving of herself, so charming and wise. we never met in real life though we live in the same state. she lied the first time we talked, but i didn't care. i adored her, i still adore her. she has BPD and i think it makes it really hard for her to maintain friendships. i said a lot of things that triggered it for her, things i would take back in a heartbeat just to talk to her again, just to see her, to laugh with her, to watch movies together again. i still have a squirtle plushie i bought her. i never got to give it to you, i probably never will. i miss you.i will always be a better person for having known you, c. and i will always be a worse one in your absence.
i've been thinking a lot about ending it all lately. i hate every aspect of myself. i hate my jaw. i hate my shoulders. i hate my jaw. i hate my voice. i hate how tall i am. the past few months have been awful and it just keeps getting worse. i think im at the worst ive ever been. i'm just so tired and nothing stops the gnawing for longer than a few moments.
>>44730572I'm sorry, nona. Please don't do anything so extreme. I know how hard it is to live with just hating yourself, but all you can do is try to make things a bit better. I hope that's not too empty of a statement to you. I almost gave up because I thought I was gonna have to delay laser again, so I know where you're at. I believe in you :)
I was doing so good not thinking of her. I hate my stupid brain
