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Million is a bit too little, I'd do it if I'd never had to work again

to even entertain the thought that transition could ever be possible for me was an irrational delusion. to believe I had a choice was pure arrogance. my unfulfilling half-existence will at best be a waiting room for the nothingness that comes after, and at worst be the torture and suffering I deserve for daring to dream I might one day experience the joys that real transwomen express.

I want to be a hot girl with giant perky boobs and a thin waste and a thick jiggly ass.

But I am not that. I am a 5'9 man with a penis.

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>>44734790
Fiber optic repression. High-speed problem avoidance. Lotta suffering in this shit.

I think today I will beat the fuck out of my dick to futa porn

>>44735757
NOBODY'S TALKING TO YOU

>>44734790
>QOTT
I'd get all the tranny surgeries then move somewhere isolated to not have to interact with anyone. It's such a cringe mental illness to have I couldn't face anyone like this.

Probably

>>44735757
Hii :3
>>44735944
I JUST DID

sex with reppers

I told you to back the fuck off repkun

>>44736235
basically my answer too, just minimize embarrassment as much as humanly possible and only reenter society once i pass, and if i don't (probably the case), welp

>>44736794
no thanks

i dont know if i want to fuck her or if i want to be her

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>>44734790
I'd troon out if I had like... 300 bucks, since I'm a turdworlder with a worthless currency and that's a lifechanging amount over here.
>>44735757
O-Oh yeah? *sniffs*

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>>44734790
>QOTT
I'm a coward, so, probably not. Money cannot mend my weakness.

>>44736235
same, I'd have to factor in the price of a cozy cabin

im coping pretty well by just socializing with a voice changer online. but my voice changer dropped in front of someone i really admire and ive been heavily suicidal ever since.

>>44740372
What voice changer were you using?

>>44740387
vonovox

>>44740413
Thanks.
As for your situation, I won't tell anyone not to feel suicidal, but I know the gravity of feeling distraught and hopeless about someone, so I will impose my thoughts.
A lot of relationships are more resiliant than you think, and they change form over time. And if they can't adapt, then maybe they weren't very sturdy from the start.
Also, I know it's corny, but there are other connections you can make out there. Just food for thought.

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>>44736794
It's not going to be sex, but more like coincidental, mutual masturbation. A typical repper with strong AGP will never be able to truly fulfill, ie. give in fully to his desires, neither with a woman nor a man, since even if there's an explicit element of fetishization of his AGP involved, he will still only ever fulfill a male role. Someone who fucks reppers wants REPPERS, not women. On a spiritual level, the repper can't be satisfied.

>>44740551
what if it's two reppers

I'm a big angry man

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>mfw when I see a cis woman that has my personality type and shares the same nerdy interests that as me (that I thought was male exclusive) and my repperbind momentarily falters

>>44740559
Same problem. Because no one will be able to see you how you (would like) to see yourself.

>>44740559
Nta, but I have long argued for the repper x repper couple.
Masc repper x fem repper for appearances sake for both, but masc repper x masc repper for just some
mutual understanding would be fine.

>>44740549
thanks, i appreciate it. vonovox is pretty good, and it wasnt the voice changer's fault that it dropped. [spoiler]fortnite[/spoiler] accidentally switched audio outputs when i plugged in my mic and it defaulted to my live mic. anyways, the person i admire was cool about it, i wasn't catfishing them and they knew i was a repper beforehand, but it's complicated and i've cried a couple of times about it since then.
>>44740551
A typical repper with strong AGP will never be able to truly fulfill, ie. give in fully to his desires, neither with a woman nor a man.
>On a spiritual level, the repper can't be satisfied.
yeah... absolutely true...
for me, i see sexual attraction in terms of rape dynamics, in the same way that feminists do when they're forming analysis against patriarchy, except that i stop before the ethical judgment and just acknowledge it as the most real and visceral form of sexual attraction. i am never satisfied because i know i am not rapeable nor do i want to rape anybody, so forball intents and purposes, i might as well be asexual due to being spiritually, perpetually unsatisfied with my realistic and viable sexual conditions.

>>44740372
>>44740636
This event should be a wake up call to you that LARPing like that will eventually always end in a painful, embarrassing reveal of your true identity. The joy you get from simulating the life you want will always be outweighed by the suffering of knowing you will never have it for real, you just don't realize that until you get the veil of illusion pulled from your head unwillingly.

any time I do anything even moderately dangerous like climbing a ladder immediately all I can think is "I can't die in this body"

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I just shaved my chest and arms for the first time in ages. Dry shaved with an electric razor. It's an awful job, but it feels so good.
I suppose I could do my legs next. Might as well get everything matching. Or at least botched.

>>44740610
if I had a femrepper gf I wouldn't be able to stop myself from trying to poonpill her

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>>44736794
I'm not sure what people's actual drive is to have sex. Masturbation makes sense as a problem solver for a universal problem but actual sex? I cannot imagine being in such close physical contact with another person is enjoyable for either party. Not only that but the reality of the act is simply disgusting most of the time. Even when I ignore my own problems with my body and what I am, I still wonder why would people choose to engage in this?

>>44740943
That's the best part. There's a possibility you'd p/troon out together.

>>44740601
that's the worst, it's like seeing a reflection of what could have been had the dumbass fucking sperm that made me didn't carry a pathetic little y

>>44740601
yeah it's cool to see but also quite painful

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>>44734790
you hear about the chinese honfather? she made them an offer they couldn’t pass
up on

i want to be an anime girl
in an anime world

>>44741813
same

One more month until I stop repping

tripfags out

>>44742037
Probably two months for me before manmoding

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I wish I was a cute brown girl with acne and braces and self harm scars and an unflattering figure and poor self esteem but there was still someone who loved me because I'm a girl.

>>44734790
A million dollars is barely even enough to buy a house these days.

>>44742173
I used to have a crush on a girl like that

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I don't even want sex, but got I fucking want a hug so bad. I just want to lay in bed and spent a rainy weekend cuddling. It must feel so incredible.

Anyway, $0.12 a mg

>>44740372
oof. How did they react?

>>44742697
Big Neopussy

>>44743380
Did the dysphoria even really esxhsisht?

>>44741813
Don't we all

my face could pass, my body is a mini fridge though. almost a square even.

>>44734790
take your HRT, retards

>>44744791
it's not doing anything

you all should kys ngl
>>44744791
especially you lol

>>44744791
I am taking my HRT -
H - Heineken
R - Rum
T - Tequila

>>44744935
>Heineken
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snhiofL2Rh4

>>44744847
i don't think so
>>44744935
...

>>44744791
I agree in spirit but I gotta counsel

Looking at my reflection has to be the most soul-destroying and miserable part of my day.

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Looking at my reflection has to be the most empowering, repfueling part of my day!

>>44746201
this cope is not going to last forever, you are going to kys eventually

>>44746493
Nope, because I am an AGP chad and not a loser with anatomical dysphoria. lol
If you feel that way you should probably kill yourself asap tho

>>44746201
>>44746556
The braggart presentation of this shows how insecure of a cope it really is.

>>44746556
https://voca.ro/138qJ5iqSOmH

Nothing I do does or can make any difference

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>>44744791
HRT won't unrape me or turn everyone into an anthro woman.

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>>44740551
>On a spiritual level, the repper can't be satisfied
I've been having similar thoughts. It's not about the man or woman involved. It's me. I can never have sex or be in a relationship as myself. I'll always be a man. Anyone who wants me would want a man.

I just checked my amazon orders and apparently last night I ordered hip pads and a waist trainer while blackout drunk. Holy fuck I need to purge I can't believe it's gotten this bad.

>>44746660
god bless you larry

>>44748044
you don't know that

>>44734790
finally far enough through the week to drink again, ugh it's been too long

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>>44740958
The simple thing you are missing is that it is enjoyable for both parties when you do it right. Sex is a different experience than masturbation as you get many different sensations that compliment the experience when you are with a partner. Things like being kissed, embraced, pinned down, spanked etc. can be very enjoyable to some and thus it's worth it to engage with another person.

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>>44748396
Lies.

>>44748488
do you know with full certainty that hrt won't turn you into a furry girl

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>>44748499
Yes.

>>44748543
one day you will be someone's beautiful bunny bride and today will be just a bad memory

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giwtwm (katia)

my agp actually hasnt been that bad for a few days. i used to have bad gender dysphoria but its getting better now because of my growing misogyny

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>>44748568
may we inshallah :)

what happened to the Everclear Enjoyer? I hope she didn't end up in grippy sock jail...

>no no don't laugh I'm serious I'm a fully grown man who wants to be a woman named Maria
They should just execute me live on camera.

>>44748697
please don't be mean to yourself Maria

>>44748697
don't give out your true name so freely you fool, it can and will be used against you

>>44748697
why maria, do you want to be a guatemalan cleaning lady

>>44748697
that's a cute name. why maria over mary?

>>44748697
I haven't even come up with a tranny name.

>>44748697
Hello Maria, my name is Laura and I also am a retarded moid

I don't want to be a trans lesbian I want to be a cis lesbian I want a pussy NOW

>>44748795
Sir this is a chick fa lay

>>44748805
I wish I was a chick

>>44748814
don't we all
except for the chicks reading this of course, who want to be dudes

>>44748945
yeah but they can be dudes very easily so what's their excuse

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>>44748697
Look a bit stage left Maria...

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>>44748690
Nah not in the psych ward just haven't had many updates really, last injection I did was around 3 weeks ago. I did have an ultrasound recently done (awkward as shit btw), but I haven't heard anything back so I assume I'll need to call them myself for the results. If it turns out that I didn't end up doing enough damage to justify an orchi I'll resume the everclear injections or try something else like calcium chloride.

want a pussy to ride the gock carousel

>>44749033
don't we all

>>44748697
>>44748776
I have a cooler tranny name but I won't tell you hehe
or anyone
ever

wow this shit hits good, I'm spinning all over the place and my brain feels like it's dissolving

but also keep losing control of my swallowing and makes me choke which is annoying

>>44749107
Anon do you need to see someone?

Good weed + nice beat and sexy tranny music videos = HOT CUM

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>young-looking face that looks almost sorta feminine (or at least androgynous) from certain angles
>strong hyper masculine jaw, jay leno chin, and bulbous fucking lightbulb forehead that just negates it all
i just look weird now as a man, let alone if i wanted to troon, so what's the point

I was a late bloomer, I had supportive parents, but I was too scared. It's not fair that whether or not my life would be worth living was up to a scared, avoidant little boy. It's just not fair. Is introversion just a death sentence for dysphorics?

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Yeah AvPD is a one way ticket to dying alone and miserable. I thought I would have made peace with it by now but I'm 37 and I'm still bitter and kind of hate women despite wanting desperately to be one. It's just a miserable existence. At least I still have anime and games to enjoy and make life still worth living but even my government is trying to take that away from me now.

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I had a dream last night where a woman forced me to have sex with her. (i'm solely attracted to men). I remember not enjoying it at all.

>>44750757
I'm attracted to women and don't enjoy sex with them either.

i dont want a job but i do need money, i didnt ask to be born, i didnt consent to it but i am forced to work and do shit in order to exist which is something i didnt consent or asked for btw, definitely since my life sucked and still sucks ass, when will retards see giving birth as a crime and rape to the unborn person, people are just so selfish

>>44750773
Why can't reppers sex?

>>44750837
Classic AGP i think. Everytime I nut I always think of myself as the woman during sex. I've always hated the idea of having sex a man. I had a gf for 2 years in high school, we would have had sex 100 times at least and I never once came during sex, I always had to finish myself afterwards. I think anxiety was to blame quite a bit as well, but mostly I just didn't really enjoy it. But I still did it over 100 times. Society is fucked. Imagine if we could just be the way we wanted to be without everyone judging us.

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>>44750784
Come and live with me in my apartment larry you can neet and I'll take care of you and we can cuddle when I get home from work.

>>44750993
>Imagine if we could just be the way we wanted to be without everyone judging us.

That would be nice.
I spend a lot of time trying not to care about being a potential hon. I think "Who cares if I don't pass and I look like a man with tits?" But the effort isn't rewarded. A part of me hates the idea of looking like that and resists transitioning.

>>44751035
Yeah reality is a lot of us would probably do it if it was truly something that was welcomed by society. The fact is no matter how tolerant society is there are biases that are inbuilt and are never going to go away. For most people above a certain age unless you have really sever gender dysphoria the effort just isn't worth it. At the end of the day you might put a tonne of effort in and stiff feel worse. It's easier to rep, some might call us cowards, and that's probably true, but I'm not going to fight for acceptance for the rest of my life just to be slightly happier. It just isn't worth it. I'll just rot and live my life consuming escapist media.

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I'm in love with this beautiful boyborn. I'm obsessed with her. I want to be her.

>>44750784
this but unironically
my repper misery + my outrage towards the neoliberal capitalist meat grinder = i have fucking nothing and no reason to continue living

>>44751270
People who hate the free market usually do so because they know they have no worth in a merit-based system.

T. Skillless loser

>>44750784
>not neeting like a pro

>>44751292
dont project your own skill issues onto me. i have money. it doesnt change the fact that this socioefonomic system is coercive, inefficient, and serves no benefit to our species or planet as a whole

Such an alcoholic loser I drank lemon extract out of desperation.

>>44751292
>merit-based system

c'mon now.

>>44751376
I was only saved from neetdom because my dad got me a job. I've been employed at the same place for 15 years now.

>>44746660
Damn, you sound retarded as fuck. Now I feel bad for being mean to you

I'd rather be homeless than work a soulless wageslave job.

I was even homeless for a little bit living out of a car and I didn't think it was that bad. Fuck waging. Fuck work. If I can't be an anime girl i don't give a fuck bitch!!!!

does anyone else feel like a switch flipped in their brain? had been repping for almost 20 yrs then one day i lost my shit obsessed over this and now im 11 months hrt. why couldnt i control myself? I always thought id grow out of it
hrt ruins social lives i cant wear anything without my tits poking through and ruining the entire outfit. but even then i feel better than i did before. what sense does it make? something is seriously wrong with my brain, i dont think its normal to feel this mismatched. if i hit my head or something and that caused me to go insane i would wanna know . i dont wanna be a tranny Surely theres antother explanation for feeling this way

i regret trying to troon, it isnt working. i just look like a weird man, everyone must .look at me and see a total freak, it makes me so sad but its reality, i dont know what im trying to achieve anymore, im nothing, i have no identity and never did.

>>44751000
I FUCKING HATE YOU NIGGER
>>44751322
well i live in romania and i cannot wait for your western country to become brown and you be left without neetbucks and raped by Mohammads brown cock eventually
>>44751585
why, making fun of retards is the funniest thing you can do

>>44752663
mohammad wouldnt rape me. im a repper, remember?

>>44752150
I think most people have a breaking point and when that happens depends on the person

If I ever had to cut my hair I'd kill myself, BUT if I were a (cis) woman I'd probably have short hair or maybe even be bald

hi pals long time no see. haven't had time for this thread for the better part of a month because my parents are actively dying. still hasn't helped. also i have to do hard captcha now wtf
read some article about how meditation can cause dissociation, made me realize how I might be more out there than i thought
>>44734790
i already have a well paying tech job and haven't so probably not
>>44752150
eh i'd imagine most of the people here are before whatever breaking point that is

>>44748591
This cured me as well, why would I want to be a woman when women are straight up evil.

I have no where I fit in. No where I can talk about repressing. Most of these board is filled with such stupid nonsense. I have ocular fatigue from all the eye rolling I do. Can't relate to the constant schizo tranny tumblr AGP Sneed theyfab gibberish. Pretty sure 80% of this board is bots or insane people.

There's no where to go. I have no friends. I can't talk to anyone. The internet is dead. My hobbies are dead. I have no money to spend. I can't be happy in my body. What the fuck is the point of working if you can't be happy? I don't bother. Just let me go. Fuck this, I'm this close to ordering drugs off the darknet and going on a binge just to get some fun out of life.

>>44752663
>rape
Can't rape the willing.

>>44754050
Can confirm I'm quite insane.
What hobbies did you use to have and why are they dead?

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Hello repgen. Not to encourage alcoholism but I am drinking RUM tonight and feeling glad to be alive in this little hole of filth!

Kinda wish I was still drinking :(

>>44754569
at least one of us is having a good time

>>44754824
Im alright. I kinda wish I were in a club rn to shake my ass instead of having to fantasize about being a woman, but eh, at least I get to play video games

>>44754067
Math, video games, lifting, programming.

They're dead because I can't care anymore. The last of my hedonic neurons have fizzled out. No pleasure.

you will all rope eventually, you should do it now to spare the extra pain

>>44755214
You first.

>>44749117
it's fine I just passed out for a while
at least I finally got some sleep

>>44755114
Anhedonia sucks. Are you taking your meds?
>>44755214
Show us how to do it right :)

>>44734790
honestly probably not.
besides the qott, what happened to this board, there's not even frengen posts anymore it just feels like stupid buzzword spam now.

>>44755662
>What happened to this board

it died on the vine

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Why hon out when you can john50 now?

I will drink slower tonight

>>44750773
>>44750757
i get such a feeling of contentment from thinking about femdom where i bottom for the woman must be my desire to assimilate into anima

>>44754689
did you run out?

>>44755247
>>44755581
DIE ALL OF YOU NIGGERS DIE AND PERISH

all the passoids are conspiring to hoard the HRT that actually does anything

WHY IS LIFE SO FUCKING UNFAIR
WHY DOES EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE MUST BE WRONG AND NOT RIGHT, WHY

>>44757129
because the world is bad

why do people hate me

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>anorexic
>self-harm regularly
>very long hair, smooth-shaven face
>still not trooning out
i'm living a very complicated larp...

>>44757240
what you are living is a sad pathetic life

>>44757246
damn right larry, damn right.

>man grease

>>44751606
I was car homeless too and getting woken up by police at 2/3am was always a terrible experience so Im glad I got steady work

>>44757287
i dont want a job, i think god just hates me and wants to torture me, i dont believe in the existence of anything and the universe genuinely doesnt give a f abt me but still it feels like i am tortured on purpose by smth, i know i didnt do anything bad and just got unlucky but still

ups, i didnt mean to reply but yea that scenario seems horror

>>44757353
Chad would say its all in your head. Our head is why this thread exists.
*Cracking open a cold monster*
Yeppppp

>>44757432
goodnight buddy, my mind will have to generate you tomorrow again

>>44740559
I would feel more comfortable doing it because at least the other person understands why I feel "not right"

>>44744935
Waow (based based based)

>>44748697
Dw, I want to be called Samantha even though my first name begins with an M. I think Maria is a nice name though, no execution needed.

>>44757285
I hate the natural man smell that my body produces. Thinking that I could be a woman gave my life a bit more structure. I was actually taking care of myself again: stopped biting my nails/cuticles, started brushing my teeth twice a day, shaved every day or two (including places I've never shaved before), and showering every day or two. The longest I have ever gone without showering was like 2 months, and that was when I was in uni. I literally did not, and still do not desu, give a fuck about what happens to my male body. It is a fleshsuit I pilot around. If it was a female body however, then I would give a fuck. Anyway, I had a mometary lapse in my self care due to some nasty blackpill content I consumed on reddit, and thus couldn't find the motivation to shower on the day I was supposed to. Gods, I forgot how nasty my male body smelled, and so fast too.

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>>44757061
Die I can handle, but perish on top of that? That, sir, is too much.

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I think I'm having a John30 moment. I've entered a manic period of wanting to dress up & get fucked. I'm a gold star repper that was immune to this nonsense for years but I think it's mind breaking me (and not in a hot agp way).

>>44741813
what type of anime world?

so many evil retards
the cursed state of repping allows me to see through all their BS but be unable to do anything about it

you're fucking pathetic
even I'm disappointed
you betrayed yourself coward

>>44756279
TFW john42 :C

>>44757225
not posting ass and balls

>>44756593
Just decided to never drink again

>>44759225
why would you ever do that???

>>44759288
Want to lose weight, be able to save some money, not harassing strangers with inane drunk rambling

life only starts at htn 6/10, if you are not born attractive, it is over for you

>>44759441
what's even the point of doing any of that as a repper though

why do anything, repper or otherwise, all it is pointless

>>44759454
Rare larry win
>>44759460
I don't know

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>>44750784
i say this and people complain that i'm "too negative"

>>44758357
an anime world with light medieval fantasy elements i'd be an alchemist perhaps and have lots of magical herbs and plants and i'd hang out with other cute girls also i'd be a girl girl girl girl i will be a girl

>>44759533
let's get isekai'd and be cute alchemist girls together ~

it is never going to happen, you will always keep being male and ugly and desu i would only wanna be a woman if i looked at least okay, i rather stay and ugly man than be an ugly woman, being an ugly woman seems tragic since women are supposed to always be pretty

>>44759533
in the fantasy isekai world, i would be a priestess of an ancient goddess that specializes in healing magic, and i would travel the many kingdoms, kind of like a doctors without borders kind of thing

>>44759578
and you will he raped by goblins and become a breesing wench in thw goblin dungeon you fucking little nigger

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>>44759533
>>44759578
in the repgen fantasy isekai world I would be the demon lord
>>44759585
you will be appointed as my underling Larry, I will put you in charge of goblin minion production with the help of any captured isekaijin I hand over to you

>>44734790
in isekai world, i would be a depressed autistic outcast noone in my village likes

>>44759672
in repgen isekai world i would be the giant minosaur who anally rapes the demon lord

>>44759686
you can't rape the willing

STOP TALKING ABT ANIME, I FUCKING HATE ANIME, I FIND THE ARTSTYLE SO REPULSIVE AND LOW IQ

>>44759707
i would forcemasc u girl like ouran host club

>>44759707
keep up that attitude and you're gonna have to take a shift in the goblin dungeon, Larry-san

Anime GIRLS are perfect and I want to be one. Anime itself is not interesting to me. There's probably good ones out there but I haven't the patience to wade through the detritus

i am like an wild animal you CANNOT control me and tell mw what to do bitch
>>44759727
anime girls look ugly asf, they dont even look human

>>44759578
In multiplayer games, I tend to play the support class. Even my first DnD character was a cleric. So yes, if magic healing powers were real I would want to be a healer girl so bad.

life is so unfair, why do i need to feel so much pain daily and for so long, why cant have i been born lucky and happy, i might not be real but my pain is

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>>44759551
picrel is us

>>44759578
i will make potions for you and we can have tea and cake together and you can tell me about your travels and bring me exotic tropical plants for my greenhouse

>>44759817
you are a pedophile

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I'd be a cool antihero moid in an isekai.

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>>44759823
No I just want to be a little girl there's a difference

>>44759833
hey cismoid did you watch that anime I recommended you

>>44759833
you would just be a loser just like irl
look at that clown saying some random nonsense but since he is chad it looks cool, he could eat his boogers and fart in your face auttistically and it will still be cool bc looks are everything, humans are retarded apes
>>44759848
you are just a fancy pedophile

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>i just want to be a cute little anime girl , i am not a pedophile uwu
lolol
>>44759867
not me, i would never post whatever this disgusting thing is

>>44759858
>>44759867
>>44759874
>each post is 1 min apart
Stop samefagging larry

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>>44759883
arent you a stupid little nigger monkey now, ofc the other two posts are close to each bc i am here and mentally ill crazy fuck you, i can be as terminally online as i want

He maled hairily down the stairs. His large ribcage and skull were Y chromosoming gently. He looked just like his dad as he reached down to pick up something much too heavy for a woman to pick up. He breathed in 6 liters of air, filling up his male lungs perfectly with the air needed to produce sperm. His hairline was receded like the sands on a beach.

i feel kinda sorry now bc you all are still probably in agonizing pain daily bc of dysphoria

>>44759857
No
Repost irs name ill watch it today

>>44759895
Me everyday

it feels so good to not have dysphoria anymore, too bad i am mentally ill overall anyway

>>44759892
You can very easily edit that using any modern web browser. Stop talking to yourself you schizo.

>>44759917
Otome Game Sekai wa Mob ni Kibishii Sekai desu

>>44759945
shut up little bitch

I FUCKING HATE YOU GOD

>>44759895
I do this

good night (morning)

wasted my life being a neet oh my god i need to kms

>>44759995
I am the Lord your God. Let's unpack this sweetie. Sure, I may have cursed you with dysphoria, but SILENCE slave! I work in mysterious ways teehee!

disgusting oily man forehead

>>44760034
A life wasted neeting is better than a life wasted making money for someone else. What did you do? Did you play games, watched anime, read books? A peasant a few hundred year ago would think you lived like a king. It wasn't a waste if you did things you enjoyed.

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I'm sick of your shit larry

>>44760062
i hage having buck teeth more than dysphoria god
>>44760116
fuck you, you are free to leave my general

>>44759585
god i hope so

>>44759867
me on the right

>>44760106
i gooned a lot and played wow

This whole thread goes about in pity for itself.

im so scared about how little ive experienced in life, i look on twitter and people seem to be really living, people are doing so many things and i dont know how. i hate myself. maybe i should start attention whoring just to try and feel something

>>44760718
What exactly do you want to experience?

>>44760732
friendship, relationships. i dont understand the freedom these people seem to be operating under, they're always meeting new people, doing things, being creative and being themselves. whereas im rigid, i barely meet anyone and if i do meet someone its under controlled circumstances like i talk to them for months and we meet up. other people are just the opposite, its a constant flow of action and experience and i just cant tap into that. im trapped

I looked in the mirror after getting out of the shower. DO NOT DO THIS. BIG MISTAKE. Helpful repper tip of the day.

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how do you turn an ugly man into a woman, is it possible

jesus christ my side profile is so fucked, me and my giant chin and weirdly shaped nose, it's all FUCKED even if i WANTED to stay male

My executive dysfunction prevents me from transitioning.

>>44760965
Yep it ruins my day every single time, helps to shower in the dark.

>>44761032
get some new material
what are you working as btw? knob polisher?

>>44761505
drop your ko fi so i can buy you a nice dinner, larry

The 10000 hypernode galactic AI supercluster when you ask it what's the point of living when you can't be an anime girl (it explodes)

>>44759867
I'm not sure why, but I hate how much I like this image...
>>44759895
>His hairline was receded like the sands on a beach
I know why I hate how pretty this sounds.
>>44760000
Good morning (evening)

>>44761505
so you're neeting and complaining about having to work

>>44761023
I could have wrote this. I'm glad I'm not alone.

>read old TG fiction story where guy friend falls for feminized main character
>look up author
>50 year old posting ai slop on deviantart
>look up artist
>doesn't actively draw, made 2 images based on another writer's TG story in the past 2 years (they're still good)
this is all so fucking depressing. I remember reading a story this artist worked on a decade ago and still being in denial, I've trooned 3 years after.
There's also a great author I found (nicegent42) but they had a stroke I think and it obviously complicates their life.
I hope someone once makes a narrative about the lost lives of genx and old millennial gender dysphorics.

>>44762355
It's very shitty lol. Meds don't work for me either. I think I've tried every one except Vyvanse.

>>44762375
the problem with that literotica/tg fiction scene is that it was fueled by boomers and gen xers. well, theyre dying out. the millennials trooned out instead of coping with erotica. and the zoomers are illiterate and have poor quality typefucking with mommydom ai sexbots. it's bleak

>>44762415
>the millennials trooned out instead of coping with erotica
Yeah ha, totally. Didn't cope at all.

I literally used to write body mod/body horror genderbending erotica to vent my tranny feelings and people loved that shit. I wouldn't admit to it being motivated by tranny thoughts so those unaware idiots at the time assumed I was writing Japanese-style tftg/futa porn. Same people years later would become very loudly anti-trans. It's really funny (sad.)

Repbros i completely tore my frenulum clean off repjerking it a few weeks ago. It grew back but only on 1 side.(??)

I dont want to go to the doctor because its shameful. Will it grow back to normal?

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>>44762696
That sounds awful and I have no idea if it'll come back, but repjerking is too real as a term and I'm stealing it.

nobody will hire a weird repper, you have long hair, you look shifty and uncomfortable, like you're a puppet, you are reluctantly in your body and people can see right through it.

no fear
>estrogen insensitivity syndrome
one fear

>>44762859
Its basically attached to one of the sides of the glans. It gets hard fine and there isn't bleedinginflammation. All dependant on whether/how much scar tissue has formed. I think.

>>44762866
I believe and have said all these things to myself.

>>44762866
no, people don't care. nobody cares

>>44762950
you are a repper
you are a tranny
you are a woman

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>>44762978
I'm hearing this post in classic Trump voice.

>>44762866
The people in my life don't see right through it. I changed my habits, shaved my arms and legs, sit crosslegged, and said no when they suggested I get a haircut. Still no clue from them kek.

>>44763111
you will always be a woman to me <3

Have a coffee here for "Adult Human Male", is there an Adult Human Male here?

i feel totally empty, its like ive finally given up, a few years of hrt made no difference, im just this weird ugly freak for life, im not gonna blossom into my "real self" which was always just an illusion and a coping mechanism, im just a weird freak.

>>44762415
>>44762465
>>44762548
>millennials trooned out instead of coping with erotica
yeah, I trooned and I still read erotica like this... maybe if I dated more than I wouldn't need it, I dunno. I still read it when I had a bf I think
i've seen people on allporncomix forums who are I'm pretty sure my age (i'm 30) and are openly saying, basically,
>"i'm happy for people who can transition, but some like me can't, so I keep reading this stuff""
>>44762415
>poor quality typefucking with mommydom ai sexbots. it's bleak
damn, this is fucking bleak. I still refuse to use llms for shit like this. i'd rather read shitty boomer erotica

why didn't you make me into a girl when I had a chance

>>44755412
Glad you're okay. Please stay safe.

Repper meet up when?

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give me a bear pussy or give death

>>44763660
Do those online surveys that pay in gift cards, not a lot of money but if you're willing to waste a few hours and have nothing better to do.

mmg is so shit

>>44764092
Being a neet is based and you should try it!

>>44764651
Well if you weren't in the third world you could leech off the government like I do.

I just hope they'll increase my neet wage so I can save even more per month!

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grim

They all mog me

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>>44764938
to be fair, it is comparing you to russian lookalikes, so the chances of them looking dysgenic is particularly high

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If only there was a way to at leasy make myself very androgynous i’d be able to repress less, im just too manly

Got drunk and pretended to be past her prime hag maho shojo again award.

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Well I gave in and ordered my first vial of troon juice. I guess I won't be able to post here anymore soon. Repping has been an utter misery and I don't predict manmoding to be any better but I don't think I could tolerate reaching the end of my life and knowing that I never even tried to self-actualize even if it's hopeless.

>>44765928
do russians really?

>>44766330
i know i really, since one of the closest matches in that lineup is unfortunately the yakub-headed motherfucker in the top right. it's uncanny, even if his pic seems somewhat distorted (hopefully)

>>44762908
I actually gave myself phimosis by fingering my foreskin a couple years back.
I guess I was doing it too hard and my fingernails scarred me too much.
Obviously never went to a doctor, just another reason to eventually rope

>>44766329
Good luck, tried doing that but gave up and detrooned.

>>44766757
I don't really see the point in detrooning if it makes you feel better, especially once the breast buds grow in (though I already have gyno so it's no change at all for me.) Why not just keep manmoding?

>>44766778
Became too demoralized to continue with it, that and my agoraphobia was made worse from being constantly paranoid over the idea that people could tell I was a tranny. If I could transition in a cabin completely isolated from all society and people, I would.

this is so disgusting

>>44765939
yeah
it's almost funny how getting chad genes is what doomed me

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I feel faketrans sometimes when I see people talk about hating looking in the mirror or hiding their body cuz I walk around naked or in my underwear all the time at home and looking in the mirror isnt really that bad. I kind of dissociate and see someone else in the mirror and never really think about myself. Like I can move this thing around and experience the stimuli that it does but im something else idk. Picrel kind of I imagine myself more as my oc or like a gmod invisible guy in my head than what I actually look like lol

i hate my fucking life man

I just saw the back of my head on a security camera and I have a fucking bald spot it is so fucking over. I'm going to kill myself. I could kind of delude and lie to myself before but now I can't even fucking pretend. I'm a middle aged balding socially anxious avoidant retard who wants to be an anime girl. Why even fucking live at this point?

>>44768638
Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and I'm like "Who the fuck is that?"

>>44734790
He was agp? gary cooper?

>>44769453
You know boymodo predicted all of this.

>>44769265
Yeah but if you were a women you would have peaked at 16 and then it would be all down hill from there.

>>44769672
This is just proof that youngshits are superior to cis women

>>44734790
I DID 20 FUCKING YEARS, NOT A DAMN PEEP, NO SHAVING, NO ISOLATION, NO SISSY SHIT

>>44769453
whatever happened to sissygary the frilly fabulous type
that was a honfidence machine she wasn't in touch with her dysphoria she just did what she had to do

>>44770062
I wanted to be a woman, I compromised.

There's no reason for me to transition I'm a cis man who tricked himself into believing he's dysphoric, it will go away eventually.

>>44771547
I feel that way too. I must have OCD and I know i have self hatred. I still want to be a woman though.

one pill makes you larger
and one pill makes you small
and the ones that (the doctor at the lgbt health clinic) gives you
don't do anything at all
go ask Alice
when she's ten feet tall

fuck the premature graying has come for my beard
i need laser now before it spreads any more

yes you do
but lol how old are you really?

>>44773655
27

>>44742173
Cancer is literally me but despite being gross and weird and greasy she's still cute and I'm an ugly monstrous faggot.

>>44769390
Unfortunately I am well aware that the monster in the mirror is me, even if I wish it weren't.

>ordered breast forms to test if I wouldn't like it
>I kinda do
obviously this is agp but...fuck this gay earth.

i'm not gonna make it

>>44734790
>I wanted to live as a woman. I comprimised I jerked off wearing my wife's panties instead

>>44777117
I got bored quickly of those

>>44777284
that's a good sign. I've wondered if my perceived feelings are based on novelty / curiosity rather than genuine agp.