Do any other trannies get a bit overwhelmed with their situation sometimes? I started HRT at 18 and I am 27 now, and I am stealth (post-op, etc.) in daily life. I have a fiancé, and I live a normal female life (he knows about my history, so not entirely stealth, obviously). Sometimes when I’m lying in bed next to him I think about what my life might have been like had I not transitioned, and about how it might be me that was lying next to a woman, being a boyfriend, a fiancé, or a husband. I’m happy with my life, and I couldn’t realistically have ever actually been able to integrate as a man. Nonetheless, I’ll sometimes see pictures of myself as a young man in my parents house, or on my phone memories, and it sometimes feels like the ground gives way beneath me. Like, I really did it - I actually have, for most intents and purposes, changed sex. I can be surrounded by men in my peer group, guys I went to school with, etc. and I can see how they’ve aged and gotten bigger and stronger on testosterone, whilst I’ve stayed soft and delicate. It makes me happy but it’s also a scary thing to comprehend how much you’ve diverged from the path that was originally chosen for you. Underneath it all I still feel like the same scared boy I was when I first came out.
I hate youngshits
>>4478615218 is hardly youngshit. I am a luckshit at best.
Me in 10 years on god
>>44786303US in 10 years ON GOD
>>44785938thats cool im a 29 year old repper and i will die alone
>>44785938Sweetheart I'm your alt-universe self, and ngl it had it's moments. Hanging around with the boys, trying and failing with girls, getting into fights, gamer culture, all of it. But by the time I was 30 I was so angry and miserable I'd basically stopped functioning. I spent the next 10 years locked away in my dad's back room living in my own filth, shouting misogyny and homophobia on the internet. I tried to pay for women but couldn't perform. I felt like I was fighting the entire world with one arm and holding back the ocean with the other.You need to understand that you never really experienced true gender dysphoria. It's progressive. As bad as you think it was when you were 18 it would have absolutely crushed you by 27. The "path that was originally chosen for you" wasn't being a boyfriend and living normally, it was a living hell until eventually you transitioned anyway. You were never a boy.
>>44786401nigga repped until 40, why
>>44785938I understand this to some degree. I'm a heterosexual (gynephilic) FtM, also stealth. I transitioned when I was 15 and am now 23, and have a beard, male height, gymmaxxed to a masculine physique. I do well with women and no one at my university or work or boxing would ever suspect I'm anything but a normal straight guy. I love it, but every couple months I'll look at a group of girls at uni or something and think how radically different everything would be if I'd never transitioned. I don't even know what a woman version of me would be like, it's weird to imagine.
>>44786401That sounds really tough anon, thank you for being so candid. I feel overwhelmingly privileged to have made the decisions I did, and at the age I made them. Whilst I do feel a sense of trepidation even now about the choices I made, I know that deep down I was correct and that I wouldn't have had a happy life if I'd waited or never made the choice at all. Have you started to transition yourself now?
>>44786485I don't get much chance to talk to FtM guys, so it's really interesting to hear the same feelings from the opposite perspective. One of the great joys of being 'successful' in transition has been the acceptance into womanhood from the women around me; I feel so loved and supported by other women in a way that I simply didn't receive or understand as a teenager. Do you ever feel like you miss that? I have so much respect for those that choose to be men, it is not an easy life.
>>44786538>Do you ever feel like you miss that?No, I think there's somewhat of an equivalent feeling with men, being accepted into social groups works either way. Of course, I don't think there's the exact same type of open intimacy between men as with women, but the different social style suits me more. I never integrated well with girls because of personality clashes and I was excluded growing up, but generally I preferred that because I don't enjoy the feminine social style. The harder parts of being a man in my opinion are social expectations beyond just friendship styles, because within close male friendships you still support one another, yet in public life there are higher expectations to maintain strength, appearance, to be independent and have others rely on you. Frankly the financial burdens are what impact me most, heterosexual women really still lean into that, in my experience.
>>4478593810 years ago I was the boyfriend. Now I'm a post op tranny wife of a man.I'm not overwhelmed. More like in awe that this was actually possible.
bump
BUMP
No actually I get overwhelmed with my situation because I'm about the same age as you and like most people on this board my life and transition are going nowhere
>>44785938Weak bait, OP is a lying fag.>I am stealth in daily life.>I can be surrounded by guys I went to school with and I can see how they’ve aged and gotten bigger and stronger on testosterone.These two statements are mutually exclusive. The only way you could feasibly be stealth to everyone but immediate family would be if you'd physically moved away from where you grew up, or at the very least completely moved away from that group socially. If you had a specific reason to be around them for a one-off event (hs reunion or something) you would have specified that event in your post as having brought upon the feelings. If it wasn't a one-off event, then it means you've maintained some form of contact with people you grew up with, and therefore are way less stealth than you imply by acting like your fiancee is the only person that you interact with who knows your history. 2/10 try harder next time.
>>44789587I came back to my hometown a while ago and saw a couple of guys I went to school with in the pub. They didn’t see me but I could see how much they’d changed. The level to which I’m stealth isn’t really the point of the post in any case.
