A year of care and attention. I was her best friend in uni. She was alone and I invited her into my friend group. I was a good friend I was mentally ill and freaked out too much but I was good to her. I lent her my guitar for half a year I got her snacks she likes she hurt me so many times and I let it slide physically tooI wasnt a bad fucking friend. She dated so many girls that were awful to her i warned her and she often got hurtI didnt mind if she wanted to keep dating we just needed to stay friends. But i'm just not valuable enough I guess because I'm not a cool looking alt girl or whatever the fuckI got on estrogen while we knew each other and thats why she got on too. After we fell out she texted asking what I was taking. Not caring about me but benefiting i yapped so much about this and that and explanations. Because maybe she'd warm up to me again but no she has other people qround herOther people that have vaginas and are soooo pleasant, see theyre cool because they're girls I'm bad because I'm.a man.I saw her in uni today again everytime I do my legs go wobbly I hate it. I talked to her to try to i dont fucking know. I asked if she had anything to say that could make me feel better. She said no. She said she didnt care about me. That my other friends dont care about me. But why why? I care so much about her. Even now when I saw cuts on her arm I really wanted to.help her. I didnt think oh she deserves it like fuckArent we friends? Why are you acting like anything changed. I cut myself so much I've been so upset since we seperatedI wanna show her those cuts say see I love you lets be close againEven if we cant be close qs friends i wanna be close as enemies as anything just close. I really wanna show her my cuts but I'd just get blocked or something
im sorry nona, only way forward is to let go. she very much doesnt like you and youre just gonna be(already are) hurting yourself over it. even if you convinced her to become friends again, the same thing would just happen again. youve gotta lock in and move on, clinging on your ideal of "what could've been" will rot your soul. speaking from experience.
>>44874217I wasnt bad to her though I helped her through so much. I've been trying to move on but I physically cant, when I see her I get horrible anxiety and struggle to even walk. Its probably because I dont have friends I havent had a friend since we seperated. She went away and my group did with her. All my online friends are mentally ill like me ig and are struggling. Nobody is in the state of mind to just be friends. If I wasnt alone I'd probably be able to move on, find someone else that likes me. I feel so invalid nowadays because nobody does like me I just feel wrong
you have to cut your losses and move on. you sound sweet and i guarantee you won't have a problem finding somebody who actually cares about you
>>44874264i know nona. had an ex that spontaneously decided to get drunk high and then probably ghost and cheat the night after talking about a future together. still was willing to forgive (rookie mistake lmao) till i cracked and cut her off for good. its really the only way to escape from people who see everyone as a disposable resource generator. its scary how many of those are out there.youre not the only loser in this planet. its a lonely life. youll get used to it until you have a small mental break about it but yk what can you do.
>>44874311I wish we could all be happy. I'm sorry about your ex. I really wish nobody had to suffer. Today I was thinking how good it would be if I was a cosmic entity that helped everyone. But I cant quite help myself.
>>44874184You need to let her go and move on. I know that’s the answer you don’t want to hear, but it’s the only one that will keep you from drowning. Focus on finding a new friend group. The pain’ll fade if you give it time.
>>44874365been like 5 years, focus on yourself dummy.best to just accept theres nothing you can do about it and move on, live as long and best as you can. its okay to be a bit of a bitch sometimes for your own sake (if it isnt harming anyone too much), only get one shot at all this.
>>44874418Thanks.
>>44874184>giving a guitar away for six months This means you probably suck shit at guitar and don’t play with any regularity or seriousness, which you should be more concerned about than some drama about a stupid tranny faggot you’re pretending to believe is a girl
>>44874266>you sound sweetHe said he wants to show this person his self inflicted wounds to guilt trip them into liking him again after they set a hard boundary. That isn’t “sweet” it’s textbook cluster B manipulation and boundary violation
>>44874453I have two guitars.
>>44874466>>44874453also yeah probably not the best idea to vent on 4chin cause the grinch likes to frequent this site and itll probably fuck you up if youre not doing okay lmao
>>44874466But I didn't show it
>>44874184dawg she doesn't care about you. Obsessing over her like this is giving her power over you and is tantamount to rape. You're being raped right now. Stop it, forget she exists.
