At 16 years old I dropped high school because I was going to failed it anyways, then I began a 4 year social isolation process mainly fueled by depression, i became a complete NEET. I already knew I was trans, but didn't want to accept it, so I repressed. During this time I did not do anything besides masturbation and watching slop on YouTube, while all my high school friends were going to parties, dating, starting college and just living the life of functional human beings. I couldn't care less about all these things, because I already knew I would kill myself at some point.Anyway, 2026, a lot has happened. I'm 20 years old, found a temporary job that I eventually quit, during a manic episode I decided to DIY HRT, I reconnected with a old school friend and we got really close, I lost my virginity, he introduced me to his friends and we started to hang out a lot. It's really fun, but I can't stop think about the time I missed during these past 4 years of isolation and repression. I feel guilty for wasting so many time, not starting HRT earlier, not making friends, not having sex and doing all the stupid teenager stuff. I feel betrayed by myself, and it hurts. I know I can't change the past, but how can I stop this feeling of regret?
>>44970385I had the same circumstances as you. I dropped out of high school at 16, became a neet, then transitioned and finally left neetdom at 19. Now I'm 25. The feeling never really went away, and I still feel totally detatched from society. I don't really think there's a way to undo the deprogramming you experience from being a shut in for so long. Just take the moments as they come and make the most of it. You don't have to be miserable anymore, that should be enough.
>>44970452I know I need to move forward, But there's always a bad feeling, specially when friends tell me about their past experiences, they sound so bright, while I have nothing to add, because I always felt a bit empty.
>>44970475A bowl is most useful when it is empty.Think about it this way. You got to transition without all the baggage behind you of life as a man. You can define who you're going to be for the first time as yourself.
>>44970385i did this only im 22 now and still a khhv hikineet, im glad you were able to move past it though hope the feeling of regret will fade too, transitioning been going well?
>>44970486This sounds right, I can't live as the shadow of myself, defining my identity should help with this feeling>>44970548I hope you move past it too, there's a lot to live, don't deprive yourself from these experiences.And yeah, the transition is going smooth :)
I was really disturbed by this when I was like 18-19 but a few years later I just don't care at all. I am what I am because of that missing-out. it's fiiiiiiine
if you have been stung by a scorpion, all you can do is thank it for its venom. to cry about the pain is chosen suffering
>>44970748I don't get it... Should I get stung by a scorpion?
>>44970385Hah! That's nothing, silly foid! I DIDN'T drop out of high school OR college and basically lived the same uneventful existance as you did, except for 10ish years straight, starting in 2016 in high school.The real difference is that I never took HRT and continue to boymode and have no friends even today. Why? Because I'm actually a man. I decided 2 years ago. I have AGP, and further, I got psyoped into envying women by the manosphere and the feminist exploits.Just like how I have to pretend I need go brush my teeth(I do. But I need to pretend I do in order to get myself to do it.) I just have to pretend I'm a man, because I am one. Sometimes honesty requires dishonesty. Isn't that like how about you trannies are always saying that tolerance requires intolerance so we should murder people like Charlie Kirk and we're not going far enough and should be more intolerant in the name of being tolerant? Well, it's like that.I'll tell you, there's nothing more dishonest than the process of being honest. A man cannot speak his genuine self earnestly and nakedly. Give him a mask, and he'll tell you exactly who he is. Wow! Being alive is such a joke. You're ALL faggots. OP is the biggest FAGGOT. Reality is extremely homosexual, in the millenial-est, most Micky Mouse worshipping way possible. I'm out! The WALL is coming to claim me, and I shall be prepared to drown my sorrows in a marathon of cum, escapism, and the silence of an uncaring childhood bedroom until the day my divorced parents stop being pissed off at me for being a wagie with a degree in what might as well be underwater basket weaving. Like oh! Anon! You need to have friends! You need to fuck pussy and give me grandchildren and infinite money glitch from your career, anon! It's your fault I'm not getting these things, and I put so much money into you! You have to go manifest a foidwife from thin air, anon! I don't care. What are you? Fucking gay? Ah-d are u a woman!? Whaat? *scoffs* *shits pants*
>>44970830do you actually not get what they mean? they're saying no use crying over spilled milk, it's in the past
>>44970910I get it, I just never heard this metaphor before
>>44970933it's a paraphrase of "thus spoke zarathustra" (the line in the book is "thank the tarantulas for their venom", but i prefer to use the image of a scorpion bc the venom isn't so fatal, and i think of schopenhauer as a scorpion with an old man's head). but if you're thinking of picking that up, you'll need to start with the greeks, namely platon and xenophon
>>44970385this is so me except that I dropped out at 14 and im still an autistic permaneet at 23 too autistic to hold down a job no social life even when I was in school and now I feel my life may be coming to some sort of close in the near future im very grateful diy exists because I dont know if I would've even made it to 23 lol. happy for you though nona I hope for all neets to escape neetdom!
>>44970385>>44970452The grass is greener and you generally don't at all see what others suffer through in their own time is what I'd try to say. Sex especially I don't think you should worry about (Though I'm stupidly monogamous) but different people have different values. idrk about permanent damage or anything like that that you'd do, I forgot what I was thinking of. Even the idea of "peaking" shouldn't matter in my opinion, we can imagine reconquering life later or imagine others not getting jobs in mid life. Doesn't really matter for happiness.I'm kinda retarded idk, 2nd best time to plant a tree is today btw.>>44970649I remember why I was lazy and/or cringe in my past, it's "understandable". It's hard to reconcile with the lack of projects that exist today though from that era.
>>44971015there thereyour life experience is no less valuable nor unique than anybody else's on the planet.
>>44970486i really like this art
>>44970385Also dropped out of high school at 18 but I was a neet since way before then, I had a brief stint at 19 where I was actually living for the first time and got on hrt but the lockdown fucked me over and then I moved to a place I didn't like in a situation I hated and gave up until today, I lost all my 20's and all the opportunities to be myself as a woman I hate myself so much>>44971163I geniuenly feel like yes the "life" experience of being high and consuming media for half a decade or more is absolutely less valuable than the experience of someone who actually got to live a little bit and be someone
>>44971015are you european by any chance...?
>>44970640>I hope you move past it too, there's a lot to live, don't deprive yourself from these experiences.i should, just really hard to start setting steps towards it>the transition is going smoothim glad :D
>>44970385>At 16 years old I dropped high school because I was going to failed it anyways, then I began a 4 year social isolation process mainly fueled by depression, i became a complete NEET. I already knew I was trans, but didn't want to accept it, so I repressed. During this time I did not do anything besides masturbation and watching slop on YouTube, while all my high school friends were going to parties, dating, starting college and just living the life of functional human beings. I couldn't care less about all these things, because I already knew I would kill myself at some point.literally me, but I still feel the same 10 years later
