>be me>cis female>underslept, take a 2 hour nap>have a dream>in the dream I befrend a girl, I think her name was Alice>we get close>notice that my face suddenly started masculinising>my skin gets greasier, my jaw becomes longer and more angular, my lips shrink, my eyes look smaller>I like the changes, I've been wishing I had a more masculine face for a while>basically look like a less bizzare versions of picrel>then one day, as I look in the mirror, I notice an Adam's apple on my throat>suspicion.jpg>I turn around, Alice is looking at me with a smile on her face>she's been injecting testosterone in me while I slept>I explode>start yelling at her about how she did it without asking me, how I'll lose my soprano singing voice forever because of her, that she broke any trust that was between us forever>Alice tries to argue that I secretly wanted all this and actually liked the changes until I learned that it was testosterone>I brush it off, keep yelling at her>she runs away crying>now I'm all alone in the room>sit down>feel bad about ruining a friendship, maybe I should apologise, say that she was right about how I felt, I just wish she talked to me instead of leaving me in the dark>also feel like my body was violated without my permission and mutilated forever>my masculine face now brings me disgustwhat does that mean
it didn't mean anything because dreams are meaningless
>>44971371go onto /x/ retard not here
i was on track to become an opera singer in my youth. nothing brought me more joy than singing, i was in multiple choirs, i had my first professional solo gig at 7 years old. adults around me would openly comment on how in the past, i would have been made a eunuch to preserve my voice. i didn’t know what that meant, and when it was explained to me that i would eventually lose my voice, i would obsessively ask why i couldn’t be one anymore. testosterone robbed me of my purpose in this world. it’s been one long miserable road down this path. i still remember the day i was demoted to alto-soprano. i began crying in front of everyone and was inconsolable. i stopped caring about choir as i fell further down the register. i can’t think about it to this day without wanting to tear my vocal chords out of my throat. i fucking hate this place. i wish it would all burn the ground even faster than it already is. nothing on this god forsaken planet is worth its weight in disease ridden shit. i fucking hate it here
>>44971371Pic looks so ugly to me, it makes me sick. then I realize it reminds me, of what I would look like if I didn't go on hrt.
