Personally, I'm a nonbinary mtf, but in an abstract way I sometimes yearn to have just been gay. I don't really feel comfortable being thought of as a man in any way but there's just something so sweet about it to me. It feels rather lonely having these feelings cuz it's not like I really loved my body or was as happy as I am now. Is it just mourning for what could've been in another life or is it just me being a fujo?
>nonbinary >mtf
>>44976607whatever
>>44976598>there's just something so sweet about it to me.Elaborate
>>44976598yes when i was a teenager especially i jsut wanted to be a cute gay twink and kiss other twinks. trannies scared me because its unnatural and alienating, i just wanted to be perfect as i was and not be forced to change. oh well
>>44976639I guess because I see it in an abstract way. I was always bi after like age 14 but I had always latently wanted to be with boys even though I mostly got intimate with girls and occasionally transmasc people in my teens. The one time I thought I had a gay love ended up being trans, like me. I guess that's still gay? And it was more of an intimate friendship until she left my hometown ultimately. I never got the chance to really be with a boy and those gay vibes just seemed quaint in my rose-tinted glasses. What I have now is fine and t4t is probably best for me. the sex is gay but the dynamics I dunno. I can't see myself as a lesbian ever and it's hard to think I would be straight if I fell in love with a guy now. Maybe it's just that being trans is just something I happened to be but I wish I wasn't? I dunno, autism, things change too fast and processing it takes long.
>>44976651I was friends with a few trannies before realizing I was trans myself, but I was in that same position of just wanting to be with another cute fem twink. I crossdressed and had the pretty hair and everything.
>>44976598ya i get you. i really wish i didnt rep being bi/trans till i was in my 20's because man it would have been nice to have some gay college or even highschool relationships before transitioning. feels bad cuz i feel way more kinship with homosexual men than women or even trans women, but that kind of mourning of a lost past is endemic to basically every queer really. i think frequently about having a gay man relationship but i stay on hormones and sometimes change back into andro/masculine clothes when we go out. it is what it is, figure most of the world is more enby than it cares to admit anyways.
>>44976705I was half way through reading this thinking it sounds like you just never got a chance to live that life for yourself, and then you said it. I think its pretty normal to feel incomplete not having explored things fully for yourself. The grass is always greener on the otherside, though. I do believe you can identify as whatever youd like regardless of HRT status. You cant see yourself as a lesbian but its hard to see yourself as straight is binary thinking imo. You're you.
>>44976598I am a straight cis man who wishes he was a straight cis woman, but I'd take being a cis fag over whatever the hell is wrong with me currently. Does that count?
>>44976729I do a similar thing except it's mostly andro clothes for me on a regular day. Occasionally I'll switch it up and wear a skirt or small top but it's the same as it ever was to me. I just don't feel confined to being androgynous like I did after high school. I don't mind at all that people are unsure of my gender at times, so long as I'm treated with kindness. Being queer is rough huh. I guess that's life.>>44976771I guess not. It makes me happy that my partner doesn't really ID as a woman or anything so they're at least comfortable doing some things trans girls wouldn't do. I really love them a lot and wouldn't trade what we have for anything. I've expressed to them my feelings about this stuff though and they're okay with me being a pretty boy sometimes if that's what I want. I think it's sort of hard to let go of the binary thinking, just cuz it's so engrained with like everything. Probably also autism, wanting to categorize even though it doesn't always work.>>44976799Sounds like you're a repressor and haven't really transitioned, so probably not for this topic.
>>44976887It's human nature to categorize. It took me years and years of wondering why I never felt right, until I realized I was the wrong gender and found what I truely felt was me. I can imagine how much harder it is when you dont feel comfortable with those labels. Your partner sounds really sweet. I hope you find your comfort soon.
>>44976598happens all the timesomething to do with wanting what you can't have
>>44976598I feel this too and have friends who do. I truly don’t understand the psychology behind it it’s quite odd to me
