>be me>19 year old 5'4 puny trans man>I was 100lbs, but over about a year I managed to gain weight by eating more and going to the gym and am now a whopping 104lbs>raised Catholic but finally had a chance to poon out once I got to college>parents said they would cut me off financially if I start T>I need their money for college>skin is pale, acne-ridden, and often pink. I think I might have rosacea>luscious lips (possibly because I'm about 20% black but who knows) (I'm mostly Irish, I think this contributes to the pinkness)>I have POTS and hypermobility disorder, but very mild and I'm determined to cure my POTS by gymmaxxing>straight but people think I'm either a lesbian or some kind of homosexual>friends with a 6'6 cis guy who I have to look up at to talk to whenever we hang out together>raised and socialized around mostly men, I see myself as one of them, but trapped in a female body>grew up being able to beat my brothers up, but forced to watch as they steadily grew stronger during puberty while I experienced body horror>parents gave us books on puberty when we were kids so they wouldn't have to talk to us about it>reading the book on female puberty made me sick. Reading the book on male puberty made me jealous>I've felt this way my entire life. My brother once admitted I'm more of a man than him (this was long before I came out, so he meant it as an insult)>forced to watch as the theyfabs at my university get easy access to hrt and loving parents>I'm happy for them, and I treat them kindly, but internally my heart is filled with envy>my heart is small, and will never beat as strong as a cis man's. My lungs are too small as well>I'm short even compared to the women in my family, possibly from anamaxxing during middleschool and highschool in an attempt to prevent my chest tumours from growing larger>maybe it worked, my chest is on the smaller side>I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this
>>44991988Do DIY hrt in secret. Try to do voice training to be able to do a female voice in front of your parents. Prevent facial hair to be too visible and go to the gym to have a more masculine physique. Gl anon.
Appears to be a highly breedable female.Prepare the foil shaver and clippers if she starts taking exogenous testosterone.
>>44992033My parents are as clever as they are cruel, and keep close tabs on me. I'm worried they'll find out and kick me out of the house but honestly fuck it I just need to figure out where to get the T from. I have a gender dysphoria diagnosis but paying out of pocket without insurance is hella expensive. Also I am currently jobless and moneyless (heavy courseload this semester). My voice is super high, hiding that shouldn't be too hard. The hair thing is a bigger issue because I already have thick hair. My leg hair is so thick it begins to curl and my peach fuzz is almost a poonstache. I will probably start having to shave my face if I start T
>>44992062normally I ignore trolls but wtf is a "foil shaver"
>>44991988Let me give you a piece of /fit/ advice as someone else with hypermobility.Be very careful doing squats, deadlifts, cleans and jerks. When I was a little older than you are, I damaged my pelvic floor muscles by lifting and moving heavy furniture with poor form. I'm pretty sure that the hypermobility was a contributing factor.I was a victim of gross malpractice when I initially tried to get treatment, and by the time I got a competent doctor, the damage was done.I spent most of the last fifteen years in agonizing pain whenever I sat down, pissed, or had sex. I still am not fully cured, and the only reason I'm no longer in agonizing pain all day every day is that COVID and being able to lie down on my belly while doing shitty WFH jobs for several years reduced the inflammation. Combined with PT, hip exercises (that machine at the gym where you squeeze your legs together) and muscle relaxers, it put enough of a dent in the pain that life is no longer Hell.Please listen to me.You do not want to have your pelvic floor muscles so swollen from inflammation that you can't piss without medication to reduce the swelling.You do not want to constantly feel like you're having red-hot or white-hot needles jammed into your pelvic floor muscles and your taint.You sure as hell don't want an orgasm to feel like you've just had a lit match shoved up your urethra.
>>44991988did you draw picrel
>>44992195You could likelook it upOr maybe you'll just wait until your vellus hair turns into terminal hair
>>44992323damn I hope you're okay. I'll make sure to have proper form and not lift something I know is too heavy for me
>>44992371yeah
>>44992411i'm sure you dont look like that if you're 104lbs and anamaxxed in the past
>>44992382I've never seen this type of shaver before. Interesting
>>44992421I mean I don't look like that objectively but I do look like that in my head so I think it still counts
>>44991988>5'4">104 lbsYWABAW
>>44992444i can empathize w that
>>44992501I can't tell if you're being supportive or if you're just stupid and spelled it wrong
>>44992033Parents ask for hormone test. Anon loses funding for school.
>>44992549yeah my parents would 100% do that but realistically even if I end up doing DIY I'm not doing it for a while because I'm unemployed and have 0 money
>>44991988>anamaxxingYou fucked your height by doing this anon. Sorry to say but it's true.
>>44992596Don't worry, I know. Too late to dwell on it though. Besides, short guys have an easier time bulking up, right? And there's gotta be some girl out there that likes short guys. Surely.
>>44992613Yeah sorry dude I fucked my lifespan because of that shit so I get it. Also there are a lot of girls who like shorter guys these days. Also there is always t4t
>>44992739True. Whatever happens, I won't become an incel
>>44992790Your attitude seems solid. I believe in you.
>>44992795Thank you Anon
>>44991988i have pots and ehler's but i'm mtf (hrt at 16) and vry similar measurements to u... sorry if that makes u feel worse but i just wanted to say that bc i empathize heavily with ur condition.. it's kinda super unfair to be both trans AND physically broken (wtf god??!?)
>>44991988Does your school have health insurance?
>>44993025congrats on having the afab genetic disorders you are basically a cis girl. I hope this is encouraging. Also hrt at 16? How? Are you one of the lucky few with parents who don't suck?
>>44993060Yes, my school has health insurance you can get if you don't have your own, but since my parents are paying for college they would find out because it's included in the bill
>>44994316my dad died when i was a baby and my mom was quite religious... i came out at 14 and she was always like "you can transition when you're 18 and move out" but over the years she realized i really was trans so let me do it legally :)
>>44996234Sorry about your dad, but I’m happy for you. You should get off 4chan. Go live a normal happy life. I’m only on here because I’m miserable and 4tranners are the only ones who understand my pain. You already got hrt. You did it. You’re free now
>>44992411fembrained artstyle
>>44998030I think it’s the way I drew the eyes? I can’t exactly pinpoint what it is about the art but I think I see it. I don’t take it as an insult, I drew this in about 10 minutes on my computer and I normally do realism on paper
>>44991988White people self infantilized so hard it's hard for them to be masculine fr
>>44991988An actual male would not throw away their privilege to become a dickless manlet. The fact that you want to ruin your body and become a 3rd class citizen is the kind of thing only a women would do.
>>44998423Being dick less only matters if you have no vagina
>>44998007would u like to be friends? u seem friend shaped :)i'd love to talk to another person who has pots and hypermobility! what's ur email or even discord (feel free to give a burner)
>>44998784I posted a burner but then I thought about it and I don’t think making friends on 4chan is a good idea. I wish you well though
>>44992526You will always be a woman with those stats. There's no way that being a victim weight gigamanlet is better than living with dysphoria.
>>44999210grrr i just made a reddit to add u LOLL silly
>>44999223In regards to my height, I’ve met cis men shorter than me. As for my weight, this is fixable. Testosterone should also help me gain weight. I don’t think you realize how bad dysphoria is. Also, another perk of testosterone is that it will likely stop periods. This is great because mine are unusually painful. Losing iron is also a bad combination with POTS. Do you have any idea how agonizing menstruation is? Do you know what it’s like to be one of the very few mammals that bleeds for no reason other than an unforgiving evolutionary advantage for a fetal parasite? Obviously I’m not just transitioning because of that, or because of the increase in strength, but it’s not all negative. There are some good things about being ftm. At least this is how I cope because even if I ignore it the dysphoria isn’t going to go away
>>44999234Oh noo sorry haha. But seriously you should find friends irl. I’ve never trusted online people. What if I’m secretly a 40 year old chaser? I’m not but what if I was. Hey, at least with a Reddit account this means you can go look at r/eyebleach and r/puppysmiles to detox from this website
>>44992587i will send u hormones for free if u drop a way to get in touch. i was in ur situation a few years ago.
>>44999445Hm I still think contacting people off 4chan is not the best idea but I’m so desperate at this point and out of ideas so what the hell, here’s my Reddit account: Entire_Mongoose_8101
>>44999308i have friends irl i just thought you'd make a silly pen pal especially considering we share a rare condition and you're not a case of covid-pots
>>44992171You should be able to get test for cheap. Just ask some roided out guy at the gym. Lots of not-rich guys on roids.
>>44999511sent smtng. if for whatever reason it doesnt work just know u gotta hang in there homie. things get a lot better.
>>44999735Ah alright sure, though a fair warning I’ve never been good with online communications. I’ve never had online friends but irl friends who moved away I just slowly lose touch with because I forget to text them
>>44999808I can’t just go the gym and ask someone for drugs. The gym I go to is in the middle of nowhere anyway, only a few people go, so the chances of finding someone who is super buff and on roids seems low. Also I go to a nice college that my parents pay for. I’m working towards a good degree that I can earn good money with hopefully. I can’t go to jail, I’d lose everything. I think I’d just kms if I got caught with illegal drugs
>>44999855Did you send a message on Reddit? I didn’t get anything. I’m not super savvy with that website but I’m pretty sure I should’ve gotten a notification. Or if you changed your mind that’s alright, I don’t blame you
>>45000122i did send a msg. if you're not getting it could be ur acct is new or flagged and u cant get msgs. i have a burner discord: renovate100 if you dont want to use that i will resend the msg in a few days.
>>45000762Ah ok, makes sense. I’ll try contacting you via discord
