>>45004748
take your HRT, retards

I have a dream. That one day, all gay men will no longer have to be castrated and pretend to be women just to feel human.
I have a dream. That one day, everyone here will accept themselves as the fruity gay men they were always meant to be.

i feel miserable

Jerking off to AGP shit is satisfying to the soul.

>>45004801
same!

>>45004801
>>45004883
gay means happy

>>45004748
i feel kinda gay today and i don't know what it is
don't really feel that tranny and hot men are activating my neurons
sometimes i think i'm genderfluid but then i remember that's shit and also cope
i think i'm definitely dissociating though
repression cycle is just kicking my ass right now i guess
atleast i'm not cutting myself...

>qott
i have no dreams
i do not sleep

>>45004748
i try not to think about them. mostly don't have dreams recently which is nice, i'd started taking melatonin for sleep and that made my dreams batshit
>>45004759
no
>>45004762
gincel kill yourself challenge
>>45004831
don't know about that but it's a good time

i only have nightmares sometimes don't even remember what they were just wake up feeling terrible

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>>45004748
When i was a small child (probably like 6-8) i had a dream i got turned into a girl, or as close as i could imagine at the time. I got taken and put on an assembly line. There were machines that turned my hair long, changed my voice, put me in a dress and removed my genitalia (i had no idea what girls had down there so it basically turned me into a barbie doll).
And somehow it still took me like 8 years to figure out i was trans. Fucking hell.

>>45004762
What aboot lesbians

>>45004831
Recently I started asking AI to generate the daily routine of a normal woman, adding in details about her here and there. I imagine myself as that woman and jerk off to the thought. Yeah, I'm fucked up. I wish I wasn't like this.

>>45005530
>I'm fucked up.
Why do you think that anon? Whats fucked up about this. Please explain it without using words like AGP.

>>45004914
it sucks knowing that you are genderfluid as well, don't worry

>>45004914
>sometimes i think i'm genderfluid but then i remember that's shit and also cope
Why do you care about lables. They are all usless anyway. Its just a psyop made to make you question yourself.

Executive Dysfunction keeps me from doing anything positive with my life.

>>45005597
Because it's a fantasy that's affecting my real life self negatively. I don't think I will ever be happy and this weird shit is just the cherry on top of this shitshow.

>>45006020
>my real life self negatively.
How does it affect you negatively aside form the shame?

>>45006080
Because I want to connect with people but my autosexuality and autism are major roadblocks to this.

>>45005762
You weren't going to do it anyways.
T. Never tried

>>45004762
lol gross

>>45006094
While it may be hard I think you can definitely still connect with people. Begining a relationship is always the hardest part.
And auto sexuality is generally pretty normal. Cis women imagine themselves in sexual scenarios all the time. Cis men too, but cis women way more often. It's considered a bad sign if they don't. The thought of themselves being attractive turns them on. Only diftence between that and what you are doing is that you feel shame for it because of internalised transphibia.
And as an autist I would say it's gonna be easier to befriend other autistic people. It's shit advice i know, but it's probably best one I can give.

>>45006134
no retard the actual problem is that you're stuck
you can't be a man and you can't be a troon cause thats just being a bigger blatantly visible loser

>>45006110
nta but i tried and failed repeatedly until i couldn't do anything at all

>>45006134
I don't want to assume what women experience. Yeah, they do imagine themselves in sexy situations, but are they really turned on by the fact that they are in a female body alone? A body they've always had? What is sexy about something as ordinary as that to them? Meanwhile if I woke up as a woman tomorrow, I would be getting anime nosebleeds and groping myself constantly until the novelty inevitably wears off. Some women have AAP. That makes sense that they get turned on by having a male body, because they don't already have a male body.

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I can't goon on hrt without some emotional attachment

>>45004762
Gincel have you considered
- respecting people's bodily autonomy
- not making assumptions about people's sexual orientations or motivations
- basing your views on how society works on what you observe instead of on your own assumptions
?

can any of you help me want to rep? stop hrt, stop wanting to be feminine, etc. i look like a fag to everyone i just want to fit it instead

>>45007901
no, being a repper is horrible and I'll definitely go to hell if I encourage anyone else to get trapped like this

>>45008023
You won't go to heaven or hell. You'll be reincarnated as a cis woman in the next life as a reward for suffering so much in this life as a repper.

>>45008037
that's my cope actually, but I think I will go to hell (or reincarnate as a repper again) if I drag other people down into suffering with me

>>45008023
omg but ill never assimilate with everyone and look normal

>>45008023
based
>>45008058
you should not care about looking normal. nobody else really cares about what you're up to this side of transition anyway

>>45008074
okay it just sucks i wish i could be like you guys

>>45008087
>i wish i could be like you guys
no you don't

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>>45008058
I'll never assimilate with everyone because I feel so miserable and disgusting that I avoid ever going out in public or socializing because hulking over everyone feels extremely gross. Also even though I've only ever presented as "normal man" I have developed hollow suicidal schizo eyes and body language that make normies instinctually avoid me.
>>45008087
"omg" no you don't you fucking idiot

>>45008126
okay i get that too, but i can at least try to stop appearing like both of these things to fit in. its just more to work on

>>45008132
You will probably never fit in no matter what you do, and even if you could fitting in is not worth watching yourself morph into a grotesque monster that you hate

>>45008169
fmllll okay ill try being more desirable to men in a tranny way if i can and accept the isolation

I need more liquor but I don't want to leave my house to go to the store
repchad's dilemma

>>45008478
teleport to the store to make it quick. if you have a tablet idk

what do my top 5 favorite names for my birthyear say about me

m
>lucas
>caleb
>elijah
>zachary
>james

f
>allison
>hailey
>savannah
>madeline
>kelsey

I thought I could stop caring about this. I was a fool.

how do you think reppers in afghanistan and north korea are doing

https://youtu.be/kEHqDTqVZK4?si=TZMtxDHdOrQp0L8Q
hou je neger bek NOU kanker kut wijf
echt

kut homo

god ver domme
homo's ik skiet den juf död

HOMO B*ITCHES

ECHT F* Y* B*IK SKIET DEN JUF DÖD

kappie channel:
https://youtu.be/SnwC3xzw5no?si=Kvyn5wCoA1Pa4zCE

kappie red ons
kappie red ons van kwaad

friend is this dutch what's going on
>>45008478
there is a solution to this (delivery apps) that I am afraid to use because it will almost definitely lead to a Problem

https://youtu.be/kEHqDTqVZK4?si=icV69CMgsEPaGeae

>>45004748
i dreamt i was a kid back in my childhood home, but it was all dusty and delapidated. it was a very very very small 'house', basically just a single tiny room with a wall in the middle to separate the beds and the kitchen. in the dream it was full of frogs. somehow they were on every shelf and cupboard all happily hopping around in there, catching moths and bugs. it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. i wish i hadn't woken up.

HOERE HOMO'S

>https://youtu.be/sV7X3eeyMco?si=9S799DUSsW2oFRDo
https://youtu.be/sV7X3eeyMco?si=9S799DUSsW2oFRDo

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https://youtu.be/kEHqDTqVZK4?si=Yj6Clw9fVVa2ZMKA
https://youtu.be/sV7X3eeyMco?si=3-BaDx61Bg3xsJrX
sieg heil

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>>45008665
being a repper in afghanistan would be easy mode, you could just fuck around with the talibros and then go die a glorious death for allah

>>45004748
in czech republic too we love pork

https://youtu.be/6k253WlR00s?si=xnfeGFqZnCZGy17d

i will never give it back te ye

i will NEVER give it back te ye
https://youtu.be/WtVn2bqU6B8?si=MamdWJaS7tcBJuBU

neger b*tch hoer ik schiet de juf dood NOU

https://youtu.be/LhzEsb2tNbI?si=BbSGb0M9gzaQRb9e

>>45007901
no i just feel terrible like 90% of the time

https://youtu.be/yF077TtK5PA?si=IAVNpYhqz06OXTlL

>>45005762
yeah

https://youtu.be/Ig9rlZLK0PE?si=EHATkBUbOLPCkInn

https://youtu.be/Ig9rlZLK0PE?si=EHATkBUbOLPCkInn
Wat if ye get your children as ye must have them
also it is a young wife

https://youtu.be/xJeWySiuq1I?si=BaA8YZAr4m68NE2W

>>45009082

https://youtu.be/YQdm6Ns40bw?si=IellCDSoPFJAnZi-

ben jij onderwijzer
met adriaantje red jij dat
mijn redden dat

ja mijn adriaantje armen om je heen
https://youtu.be/kEHqDTqVZK4?si=UFX7Ut11zUMmamIT

https://youtu.be/WrMGGouem3c?si=AF9iwTPn24NdTBAw

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>>45005597
Lol. He's getting off to the thought of being a woman brushing her teeth and shit. That's not normal.
>>45006134
>And auto sexuality is generally pretty normal
Yes, but not the way you think. Pic rel.

https://youtu.be/2vZbpL3Er5Q?si=DCaekci1qtCiZ3Cs

https://youtu.be/eEb9YtHVj8M?si=1NsxnkDRc5kwcNxS

https://youtu.be/UMPC8QJF6sI?si=nS2MGhrj_0RitExZ

Nobody cares about your random ass videos, retard. Fuck off.

>>45004831
gooning from the heart

I had a dreamcast

I've had many dreams of my mother accepting me and getting me HRT. I've had body transformation dreams where I became a cis male. And I've had many romantic dreams with women. But my worst dreams are just me being raped in the hole by cisgender men which is weird because I'm straight but have a weird degradation fetish related to cisgender man that validates me being a faketrans. What does this say about me

God I wish I were female
I wish I could just wake up and emit femaleness
Too bad I was born a moid
And will be one forever

>>45006376
that's because they are used to it. That's the only reason really. Yes, you won't be turned on by being in your body if you are in it 24/7 for the last all of your life.

Life sucks
Everything sucks
That's very much true
But it doesn't mean you are forced to suffer all the time
You can transition
But if you don't it doesn't mean you will never be happy and can't improve your life any other way.
I know as much as anyone else here that crying over yourself feels nice
But you should still try to improve your life in other ways.
I choose to believe that in a life full of suffering a moment of joy is worth everything it took to achieve it. You might never feel fully understood but you can feel loved or wanted. There is happiness and companionship in places and people you would never expect.
So at least try
And if you fail try again and again

every day feels the same

i've realised at this point trannyism is just a really big sunk cost fallacy
they cant admit that *MOST* of them (i do believe true transsexuals exist and are valid) are just fetishists and sex pests so they have to cover it up will all of the hxcn vxlid bullshit

this is one of the reasons i think i'll repress forever
i really hope there's a universe where daddy blanch's typology is proven to be true (even if it only gets proven true on paper) so the spread of mass trannyism doesnt spread
we gave these people an inch on the pretext they would take a meter and they've taken a lightyear and made me into one of them on the way

>>45010163
I just want a body I can accept.

>>45007901
dear god if you somehow already managed to get on hrt why the fuck would you stop
none of us will encourage you to rep
>>45010163
repping is the true sunk cost fallacy
none of your points are coherent or logical in the slightest

>>45010246
yes because i'm extremley bitter and am projecting
something like that
idk i'm kinda just fucked really and i'm trying to cope
i could definitely troon out but i realise it wouldn't make me happy and i'd just look like a man with soft skin and a shit haircut
current coping mechanism is agender (even though i think it's bullshit) our of necessity
i just don't really care anymore honestly

>>45010163
>>45010302
I've never been brainwashed so acutely and in such a horrifying manner as I was 2 months ago when I believed I was a different gender. The tranny brainwashing actually distorts your memories. Saying you always wanted to be a woman and this is the gender that was meant for you. Well, no. When I think back to my youth, whenever I thought about myself in the future, it was always as a man. One day I was thinking trans people were sort of odd, the next I was shouting trans rights are human rights. What the fuck. Looking back I find it scary how fast things changed inside of me. I'm glad I still decided to rep and I don't even identify as trans anymore. Transition would have made me eventually kill myself, I wholeheartedly believe that. Despite having it better than billions on this planet, I still hate my fucking life. I already think about kms fairly often, but if I pursued transition and hormones it would have gotten REALLY bad and needlessly difficult. All of this just to see in the end that IWNBAW. For better or worse, I will always be a man.

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>>45009430
I have one... I managed to get a hold of it a few years ago alongside a CRT (bang and olufsen beovision 1). I played through Shenmue on it during a period of insomnia that followed a three-month mental episode I was recovering from. I love that game a lot. The TV's laser seems a bit bust (fairly major distortions around the edges of the screen, just kinda the nature of these bigger older models from what I can tell) and I can get the picture to look ok with a bit of fiddling, but that goes out the window when I want to switch to any other video source and I have to do it all over again.

It wasn't so long about but playing spending hours playing Shenmue with a hangover setting in and the sun rising out the window stuck with me a lot.

When I was about six they diagnosed me with autism.

>>45010394
it was most likely futa r34 hentai that made me a tranny
embarrassing to admit but it's what happened
the story's a lot longer and sadder than that but i cant be bothered saying anymore
i think a factoris also iw as abused by my mother growing up
not sexually she was just very violent ect
i would also like to kill myself but my dad being alive prevents that

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>>45004748
>see gorgeous woman
>agamp thoughts especially if it’s a hot troon
>try to zen out the thoughts
>doesn’t work
>only thing is cooming to the thought of me as a bimbo troon getting fucked for a fit silver haired daddy
>omg so much coom
>pnc
>goes away
>”that’s the last time I do that”
>comes back
>years go by
>comes back a lot faster now, sometimes minutes
>fuck

what even is there to do?

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It's gonna be a long 3 month wait for green yuri anime gotta stay alive til then.

I have estrogen in my closet but I just don't care and I never touch it. I've run out of feelings.

Get out of the closet and take your estrogen with you

>>45011072
My family knows I'm trans, they don't care. Still don't feel like it.

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I went outside today and took the train into the city. I don't know why, I figured I would just hang around, get something nice for lunch, browse some book stores. I felt like shit as soon as I stepped off the train though. I do this on occasion and it always reminds me I'm a complete misanthrope and I go back on the next train and went back to my apartment and had a depression nap.

I really hate the spam filter on this website. No for the last time I'm not giving you my fucking email, to whoever designed this system please kill yourself.
>>45010163
Out of all the reasons I'm repping concerns about being AGP aren't one of them.

stupid retarded tranny on discord told me i should troon and i told her no and she got mad at me and hurt my feelings and now im sad

>Tags: Feminization, Humiliation, Straight_to_Gay, Chastity_cage, Sissy, MEF, Hormone_breasts, ,Mother_Accepts_TransDaughter, TransGender_Finds_Happiness, Transwoman_married_to_Man

Time to masturbate

need older trans friend that grooms me into transitioning and sets me up with her younger friends

>>45010458
I hope your dad lives forever then so you can also live. Hope life gets better for you.

>>45011053
That manga is ass

Starting taking Venlafaxine and now I got tinnitus
Still want to be female btw

Adult Human Male.

anyone tried doing stuff like starting a biz while repping and always anticipating failure and never getting started

>>45010394
I've never understood the meme about transitioning making you more likely to kill yourself, I mostly want to kill myself because I can't transition.

>>45014972
>I've never understood the meme about transitioning making you more likely to kill yourself
because you think about things for more than half a second. Most people simply see
>41% of trannies kill themselves!!!
and not
>out of a survey of only 8000 people in a specific area, 41% of respondents expressed attempted suicide that may or may not have resulted in a hospital visit, and obviously did not succeed
and definitely not
>suicide rates are vastly elevated among every marginalized group as well as any group with a low quality of life, and trans are no exception to this

slayyyter was so right about getting gay off that tequila
>>45014972
idk i assume it's realizing that you'd want to kill yourself either way and then doing it because of that. at least now we get to pretend there's something else
also "kills self, never attempts transition" isn't really a measurable group

>>45014972
i think it's kind of like how ssris make you more suicidal because they acutely increase agency
i don't think that transitioning actually makes you more suicidal but it is unlikely to solve any separate depression or other mental issues
>>45015059
also this ^ we can't measure the suicide rate of reppers

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How do you sober reppers cope? I haven't had a single drink in weeks and want to die.

>>45010652
There is nothing more to be done other than living no matter how painful it is. Having a single ounce of hope in yourself is better than nothing at all.

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>>45004759
HRT won't unrape me, turn everyone into an anthro woman, or give me one hundred and sixty acres.

>>45004748
mostly have weird ass dreams that are probably from movies or tv or vidya

once had a tranny dream where i was wearing a black dress in a store or something and then had to hide for some reason

also had a dream once where i got srs and i saw it was perfect and i touched it and it felt perfect too then wanted to kms when i woke up

ennui

>>45011101
i find it really hard to know what to do in life, i spend so much time in my room, i can also just go to the city, but to do what? i also start feelign really awful after a few hours outside.

I wish I were a woman, fuck this garbage life

HRT would turn everyone into a scalie woman which would not be enough for me personally.

envy

>>45015780
when I get really really into a videogame I can tolerate being sober for a while

i'm going to tell them when i'm back for winter break

I lost yet another chess game and now I feel suicidal.

Despite all my rage I'm still not an anime girl who's underage.

>>45017335
Like it's a rainy morning and I can't even enjoy that anymore.

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>>45004748
>QOTT: What do you think your dreams mean?
.I had a dream where I was in hospital post SRS and I was all bandaged up and flat down there... and I liked it? This is normal for Cis het guys right? Normal men like dreaming about having their cock and balls surgically removed right?

im sorry for being a disgusting ugly amab

Assigned rep at birth (ARAB)

everytime i look in the mirror i feel something inside me begin to shrivel up and then it starts to hurt, i dont know exactly what i want but i know im never going to have it

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just watched shot caller, yep it was rep kino

>be 5'8 male
>too short to be a Chad
>too tall to be a cute trans girl
>27 so it's becoming too late for either
>wasted youth
>all I have is suffering

>>45017929
Elaborate

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>>45018180
normal guy with wife and kid goes to prison and ends up forced into becoming a hypermasculine gang member to survive, he gets in so deep if he ever tries to leave they will kill his family, so he accepts his fate and abandons his own happiness to destroy the gang from the inside out as one of them.

>>45015808
I wasn’t thinking of ending it. The agamp thoughts come back though. I could be out with friends and something will remind me of how good it feels.

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>>45017382

>>45004748
When I was in college, three years into repping, I was into dream interpretation (probably because i wasn't in therapy). During that time, I had a dream where I was at a campfire in the middle of the woods in the dark. In front of me was a black wolf, and in my hand was a knife. The wolf was just standing there looking at me as I knelt in front of it. Behind me was this incredibly powerful feminine energy sort of radiating around me, but I never saw her, and she never spoke. She just felt warm and welcoming, and I knew she wanted me to kill the wolf. I did, and it stared at me in the eyes as it slowly bled out.
I ditched all of my dream stuff after that, I wasn't interested anymore.

>>45004748
they put me on ssris as a young teen and i havent really had dreams since

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https://sites.google.com/view/mizukiisnttransfem
Banger

my parents are already home again
i got my one singular hour in the week where i could breathe easy and it felt like 5 minutes
i want to scream
i am so fundamentally unworthy of living
i don't want to keep doing this
i hope i can manage to get my things in order and rope soon

i get more yous in the european hours than the american ones

>>45019981
Here's one for (you)

>>45019924
Don't do that anon. Just tell me why your parents are a source of distress for you, or tell me about anything you want.

>>45019173
That's what I call the evil female demonic force. All humans have it. I felt it one time when I didn't want to masturbate but all of the sudden I felt feminine hands, several of them, grabbing and tugging at my face, chest, and arms. Eventually I gave in. Point is, when she wants to make you do something, you will do it. There can be no resistance. What you have to do, if you choose to interact with a female spirit at all, is to cultivate your good female spiritual force. I would like to do that but I don't want to step into tranny territory any more than I already am.

>>45017213
I wish I still had the motivation to enjoy video games.
>>45019723
If anything I've been having more bizzare vivid nightmares since starting SSRIs.

>>45021211
After typing this I just realized how similar this is to women when they blame something on the male voice in their head, kek.

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Going forward with transitioning becomes a lot easier when you realize you don't have to become hyper-feminine. You can be yourself, you can be a tomboy.

realising i wasted the last 10 years obsessed with and caring mostly about my own vanity while not even accomplishing anything in service of that stupid goal, and also everything else is terrible.

is this just life? is this normal? do i just get a regular dead end job and rinse repeat the days for the next several decades until im just another 50 year old wreck? i seriously dont know how to make anything of my life anymore, its all so little. the hope has all eroded away

just one and a half years of repping left before im finally free. final stretch

>>45021408
What's happening after a year and a half?

>>45021428
sorry that sounded ominous. that's when i graduate. I've been repping since like 14 and am 20 right now.
it hurts to see how many years have gone by with me crying on every single birthday and i think it's definitely caused me a lot of mental issues but i gotten through it just by dissociating and understanding there is no real alternative for me where i could still have a happy and healthy life.
as a side effect of the dissociation that period of my life has gone by really quickly and i dont remember much of it beside landmark memories like my first day at college. everything is a blur for the most part. i hope that the rest of my life wont be like this. ive already wasted enough of my youth.

i guess i'm enbycoping now
to be honest i've just stopped giving a shit because i'm tired and admitting to myself that i'm a tranny is genuinely too painful
the four options are
troon out
become chaser
kms
continue enbycoping
i want none of these (except maybe trooning)
i really think i'm dissosiating
repression cycle is just kicking my ass like usual
i'm not even sure it's a thing and i've just internalised it because it makes sense but its good enough for my retarded ass so it keeps hitting me in it
maybe hell isn't that bad this time of year

>>45017482
sometimes i have dreams where i look in the mirror and see the girl version of myself

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>>45021342
I want to be hyper feminine

>>45021342
I can't be a cool tomboy as a hulking 6'2 ogre man though

Hi im a boy

>>45004748
Some are just reruns of my life. Some are nothing more than brain doing memory management. Some are inspirational. Others give me nightmares. I dont mind dreaming of monsters and xenomorphs, of being on alien worlds and under alien skies, of fighting battles with robots and monsters. Only dreams of my school and father give me nightmares.

>>45004759
I do, but it gives me headaches - from mild ones to migrains.

>>45022128
What is ur dosage?? If ur estrogen is *too* high u are more likely to get migraines and cramps

>>45022141
4mg sublingual daily, 2mg every 12 hours. No cramps.

>>45022163
What AA?

>>45022166
None, just e. Mind you, i was on e for 3 years, 6mg daily sublingual every 2mg every 8 hours. Had to lower the dosage.

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I started repping because I’m neurodivergent (OCD) and quit unhealthy habits meant to exploit OCD people (findom and gacha games) and the sudden void of dopamine from structured play was bothering me. Now I’m wearing a 40C Vanity Fair Illumination structured contour bra with 2.76 lb silicone breast forms to give me the sense of structure and support that OCD people crave. Also started using proven psychological methods like somatic anchoring where I use the constant structured support of the bra as a sensory trigger to “strap in” and compete other goals related to exercise (with a built-in reward system: losing weight will allow me to transition from 40C to 36DD bras using the same $60 breast forms)

Does it make /lgbt/ mad when an AGP, forced fem-addicted, paypig tourist uses their repression as a steering wheel instead of a life sentence?

>>45009217
Why is that not normal? I would like to be a woman, as in all time. Brushing teeth is a thing people (unfortunately not me) do everyday.

>>45021048
thank (you) anon
>>45021342
tomboys are quite feminine, sadly
>>45021408
>>45021507
what is stopping you from diying right now?
>>45021562
troon out and enbycope at the same time
don't become a chaser trannies hate chasers that are reppers
>>45022128
>>45022163
>>45022197
stop taking sublingual immediately just do injections
>>45022372
mossad bot post

>>45022532
>just do injections
I take it it has to do with additives in the pills, right?

>>45022593
no that is the least of your worries
sublingual makes your blood estradiol levels very spiky which is not good for your mental health especially, not to mention you have to dose it practically every 8 hours if you want to do monotherapy without sky high levels (which are bad for breast growth)
also injections are dirt cheap if you buy homebrew

>>45022618
Point taken, thank you nona.

>>45022109
hi I'm a MAN

>>45022457
Masturbating to it, though? That's what "getting off" means and what he implied he does.

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>>45022046
then stop repping
>>45022103
you can certainly chip away at that ogre-ness
>>45022532
>tomboys are quite feminine, sadly
then be feminine while maintaining aspects of yourself

I really get the feeling that a lot of reppers get horny, they fetishize hyper-femininity, then they coom and realize they don't want to be ultra girly pink-dress wearing girls with stockings and high-heels and long braided hair 24/7 and then justify that as the reason why they aren't transitioning. You get to just be the normal girl you are when you aren't super horny.

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Daily affirmations:
I am a man and always will be, no amount of estrogen or surgery would ever make me anything else.

I'll quit repping when I'll hang myself

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>>45017182
giwtwm

>>45022886
>I really get the feeling
i have tried
what makes you think that i haven't thought over what you said? there's no need to dumb me down... the fact remains that even to be the most masculine girl you need an unattainable base of femininity inherent to being a girl

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I've interrogated myself about my gender identity before and came to the conclusion that I wasn't feeling dysphoria. But the thing is, I always strictly understood/characterized dysphoria as something incredibly overpowering, like a screaming voice in your head telling you "you're in the wrong body" or an intense need to dress up, wear makeup, etc. And while i'm sure that's true for some people, I just thought "well I don't feel that way" and concluded I didn't have it. What I never really considered was that dysphoria emerges in more ways than just what i'd assumed. It could also present itself as persistent and heavy dissociation. Doing everything in my power to not feel "in your own body" by distracting myself constantly. My own internal dialogue being almost third person with myself, as if my soul were disconnected from my physical form. Having regular out of body experiences that constantly leave me thinking "Am I even real?" The feeling of constantly being on autopilot, and not feeling like a fully realized person. For the past 32 years i've just dismissed these feelings as being lazy or autistic or whatever. But in the past couple years i've been thinking more and more about wanting to embody feminine characteristics. I've been experimenting more with my style and fashion, and I keep running into the issue of finding women's clothing appealing but thinking "ah, I can't wear that." But kept dismissing the signs as the "urge to become feminine" wasn't something overwhelming, as I described at the start. But I think i'm finally connecting the dots. I think it's time to try transitioning. 20 years too late perhaps, but better late than never, right?

>>45023678
if it was an option i wouldn't even have to think about it i wouldve just done when i low dosed as a younger person
you have to really think about it when you;re mounting a war plan or an deep escape plan

what if you guys... what if... what if none of this is reel
didn'tt hink about it now did you

I will never be a woman

I want a short asian bf who's a little bit chubby and has a small penis and has self esteem issues. Genuinely that's who I need in my life right now.

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>>45017182
based

My dysphoria has actually diminished as I got older. Huh

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>>45024749
That's like telling a person with schizophrenia that the voices in their head aren't real. Yes, I know it makes zero sense to want to be another gender, or even believe that you are. I blame civilization and the modern world and all it's degeneracy. 30,000 years ago there were 2 genders and no one questioned it. The one you were born with you were stuck with it for life. The difference between then and now regarding gender is that expectations were made clear to everyone and were far more simple/realistic. For males, simply kill animals for food and provide protection to the females. For females, if you want resources and protection, simply provide your body for sex. You can't tell me the average female back in those days wasn't getting fucked 24/7. Monogamy wasn't a thing, it's not fucking natural for us. Monogamy needs to be culturally, legally, economically, and religiously enforced for humans to embrace it. Tribal populations numbered up to a couple hundred at most, so females didn't even have to worry about being stuck with a shitty partner, she had the whole tribe to help her raise her kids. Paternity was not a matter to be considered. Everyone fucked everyone and helped raised everyone's children. Incels didn't exist. Tribal populations simply weren't large enough to sustain 80% of males being sexless. It makes no logical fucking sense to believe incels existed and were happy that they got zero sex in those days. Now I do believe there was some manipulation going on with females and making sure they were inseminated by certain male's semen. That's why the human penis head is mushroom shaped, to scoop out the semen of males with less desirable genetics. Pic unrelated.

Masturbating to the most stupidly heinous agp gruel forged from nothing but self-loathing

>>45025733
Monogamys purpose is to avoid the spread of disease

Do you think LGBTQR will finally talk about the repressor/detransitioner community or will they hide it away to maintain face?

isn't it funny our entire lives are predicated on a coin flip at the moment of conception: XX or XY? isn't it even funnier that we lost said coin flip?

>>45028689
This. We didn't have any choice in our gender at character creation :( Then again we didn't have choice for any other aspect of our birth circumstances.

>>45025733
all women I know have shoulders like that, sometimes I wonder how like all their organs and everything fit into their tiny ribcages

I finally decided to stop repping and when I picked up my first prescription of estradiol and spiro today Isn't She Lovely started playing as I left the grocery store.
I need to kill myself right now.

i am an autogynophilic twink (underweight) and i want to wear a nun habit so bad
not as a wombyn just a twink in a nun habit
twould send me to cloud 9
cloud neun
NEVNVNDNEVNZIG LUFTBALLONS

im autonunophilic

AGP is such a lame fetish when you get old. It starts out as this amazing forbidden fruit because of how embarrassing it is but then it's just boring once the novelty wears off and you grow into an adult male in his mid 30s.

Wait, you're telling me that the majority of people don't think about wanting to be another gender everyday? Don't you find that hard to believe sometimes?

>>45029687
nah im a freak and a weirdo. everyone seems to scared of me. of course its only me that has this weird shit goin on in my head

All men want to be women, that's normal, they just don't talk about it because it's a cultural taboo

to BE scared im eepy

i hate being like this bruvva why couldnt i have a feet fetish instead

>>45029737
I (unwillingly) decided to replace all my fetishes with gender dysphoria.
>>45029732
Now I'm actually curious. If prompted, most men will never admit this. I don't think it's true though.

>All men want to be woman

The sad thing is a lot of people think this. Like they can't conceive of a mind that is different from their own. I imagine they also think everyone is lying when they say they like a food they don't like.

I think it has something to do with autism.

>>45029821
its probably not even autism i think its just a cope
they know its not true but hey whuddif it twas
letzter Mensch behavior
i, as a proper Übermensch, will not troon out cus nietzschy said crastration sux ass

unironically the only thing keeping me repping is a nietzsche passage denouncing moral as a form of castration

who am i kidding im weak and meek and will prolly be dead by thurtee three like geezis

>>45029821
When I was younger, whenever I imagined myself in the future, it was always as a man. Now I hate being a man and I'm just disillusioned with all of it. I imagine myself as a woman in the future but that's even more painful because I know I will never reach it. She's just a normal fucking woman and even that is too far beyond my reach. If I ever do transition I'll never be able to shake the feeling that I'm just a disgusting man on the inside. That's the primary reason why I'm repping.

transgenderism is actually the ultimate product of judaism so thats why im not troonin out
judaism -> christianity -> post-athenian (christian) democracy -> enlightenment -> transgenderism

im desperately looking for anything to cling to to not troon out

i need to move to north korea or sumthin
as long as i live in a democratic country i will be enticed to troon out
or cuba or some other aristocratic or oligarchic or monarchic country or even a dictatorship
ill take a dictatorship before a democracyboat

if only the persians had wun....................

>>45029737
i'm so agp i look at foot fetish stuff for the pedicure and shoe fashion and jewellery then do the same to myself lol

They pulled the fucking rug out on us with thia woke shit in the late 2010s to early 2020s followed by the biggest wave of hate in modern history.
At least my paranoia was justified
Taking my blue dress and thigh highs off and putting jeans on to go smoke a cig

>>45029398
idk i think it just gets better with validation
the pragmatic concerns are probably boring

>>45030204
It's the last gasp of fascism. Things will get better. They got better for italians, irish, black people, gay people and it'll get better for us.

>>45030204
I'm glad woke is dying out. It killed my video games. Transphobia isn't cool though.

I convince myself that it's fake but then read things that make me feel soul crushed

>>45030280
Irish people are treated like we have a seat at the table but really its the kids table

>>45030682
maybe in england lol, meanwhile america has been ruled by the judeo-hibernian cabal for the last century

Im doing the usual repper cope and am drunk right now. Some9ne talk to me!

>>45030204
i don't care i'm an island unto myself

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who wants a 35+ mail order repper lol

>>45030993
all alcohol does is make you sleepy how is that a cope i can sleep on my own

>>45031044
I don't "want" anyone in regards to a romantic relationship as I feel I am too mentally ill to fulfill it and make the other person feel happy, despite being very empathetic and I will hold and love and care for such a person. But despite that anon, I want you to know that you are loved, even if it doesn't feel like it. You can tell me anything you want. Since we are internet strangers, all I can provide is an open ear and open heart. Please, I enjoy hearing about other people's experiences. I'm a forever incel who is pretty sure that his dick is broken, so have at it. Life is certainly a struggle for everyone. I just wish we could all embrace love instead of hate. Now I'm getting tears in my eyes. Anyway anon, please know that you can tell me anything you want. I will be there for you.

>>45031309
All alchol does is make me consider acting like a human, but even then I don't act on it. I'm repressed as fuck even beyond the troon shit. Please just tell me that you love me, anon. I need to hear it from someone right now.

>>45031314
I'm not the other anon but I can feel the emotion oozing through the screen as you write this. Thank you.

>>45031400
Your welcome. I just wish I could express how I truly feel without poisoning myself.

Even if I just see myself as a gay man and there's some weird meta attraction shit going on, I'm still subjected to the same treatment. I can't make sense of it. I tell myself that the men I have feelings for must only be some narcissistic reflection of myself or desire for love and nothing valid, my feelings can't be legitimate or real.

>>45030222
No one gonna validate me anon i'm old and male. It's not hot anymore. It's just gross.

Why do I care about any of this in the first place?

>>45032048
Because you tried to move on from it but that subtle and distinct feeling keeps you crawling back. And these threads, this board, etc. are composed of people who understand you better than most. It's only natural to seek out similar people to yourself who can emotionally validate you.

>>45031440
>poisoning yourself
How? Taking HRT? Trans women are healthy.
>>45031515
Unfortunate but true. My entire life I thought I somehow avoided the vanity of normies until I realized that being trans is one of the ultimate expressions of vanity.

i wish i was actually gay but i feel that deep down im straight i just dont want to be a straight man, ideally id be a perfect androgynous twink and have a girlfriend. but the imperfection of reality has scrambled my brain and made me resort to desperate copes, the loss of my identity will always be an issue for me

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I wanna be, I wanna be a transsexual
I wanna be, wanna be a transsexual
I wanna be, wanna be a transsexual
I wanna be
Call me a tranny
Call me a gock-loving, silicon-packer queer
I don't care
'Cause it's the straight in straight edge
That makes me wanna drink a beer

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>>45029398
I purged all my shit after accidentally catching a glance of myself in the mirror, it's so pathetic to be 30 and doing this shit. Fuck my life man.
>>45023678
a problem i've noticed is that autism and cptsd can mimic these derealization symptoms exactly. did you notice your gd at a young age?

>>45026788
I hope not, we suck

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>>45031314
>>45031330

>>45032120
>poisoning
Talking about alchohol

it feels so ridiculous that I tower over the average man

>>45032424
I relate to that image so much. I never had permission as a child to do anything. I'm in my mid 30s and can't give myself permission to do anything. I've never dated, never drank, never did any drug, legal or otherwise. I've wanted to transition for my entire adult life but never let myself. It's a joy other people get to experience, but not me, and that's life. I stare at material things wishing I could have them, just like a teenager with no money might, but I do have the money and simply can't allow myself to make the purchase. I dream of the life I want to live but don't allow myself to try to live it. I work and go home, and that's it. I've one day die a sad miserable man, alone and unfulfilled, and it will have been the life that I chose over and over again with each passing day.

My feelings are actually not valid at all. All those times I cried were useless tears. I either need to pull myself up and fix my life, or just kill myself. That's the ultimate reality of the situation. It's incredibly bleak and frustrating, but the truth isn't meant to be joyful.

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Does anyone else randomly remember gd moments from their childhood? I thought I didn't have any but the more I think about it the worse it gets

>grandma used to call me pretty all the time, I liked it but my dad always got pissed
>cried to my teacher in 5th grade about wanting to be/belike the girl in our class who always got good grades
>mom told me all the time I look exactly like her except a boy and I liked looking like a girl

But idk, I also do a ton of man shit like lift and be alone and watch ovas so I'm probably faketrans

i only like nietzsche because he hates women with a passion and that keeps me from trooning out
if i had read guyau instead id probably have trooned out already and honestly i dont know if it would have been better
maybe i should just read aquinas and become a tranny nun

i will never stop repressing until the day i die (which will be in like 4 months)

it's nuts how in every other hobby reddit better but in trannyism 4chan tries to be more polished and face saving

>>45032920
yeah except they were my entire childhood, everyone's first thought was i was a girl before i hit puberty, cus i had long hair and female facial structure.
(doesnt mean i pass tho cus puberty fucked me)

>>45004748
Unrelated but I started talking to a girl (real one) and all the feelings about wanting to be a girl went away, its crazy I didnt realize that this board is full of shit sooner

Transition is just vanity. As men we have to get over are looks and embrace aging

>>45032702
Sorry :(
>>45032780
I feel bad for saying this but this is the kind of post that makes me want to troon out while I can.
>>45032860
Trvke.
>>45032920
I still remember the single time I malefailed in dance class in high school since my hair was longer and my beard hadn't grown in yet. We had a guest teacher that day so she saw me only that day. Hasn't happened again since.
>>45033193
Why are you going to die?
>>45033257
There's no repgen on reddit so I'd have to disagree. If anything they are just more optimistic. Trans later etc etc.
>>45033322
Eerily checked... tell us more. I have a few (queer) cis girl friends and nonetheless I still experience severe dysphoria.

>>45033384
>There's no repgen on reddit
there's transrepressors though it's half wannabe pooners as you'd expect from a non-sex-segregated space unlike here usually which annoys me

>>45033322
do it for a few years then report back

>>45033384
I just have AGP and its very managble so maybe our experiences are different but at no point do I want to be the girl when I was talking to these women
>>45033458
Hopefully I wont be back here in a few years but sure, atm the need to be with these women as a man is much stronger than the AGP I have

>>45025733
>That's why the human penis head is mushroom shaped, to scoop out the semen of males with less desirable genetics.
lol

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The girl thoughts never go away.
sometimes I wish I had never heard about trannies, but even without knowing much about them I drifted almost thoughtlessly into being a girl online. I couldn't help it. I can't escape it. I was always doomed. I would lay awake wishing I was gay, because that would explain everything. Looking back at my life I remember all those little moments where I didn't fit in with men, where I said something out of place, and every time, in retrospect, it's clearly feminine behavior. The moments when my real self broke through, those were the moments most rejected by others, those subtle behavioral differences people rarely acknowledge.
I was always a girl. I can never be a girl. Both are true.

>>45033441
The fact that this is the first time I'm hearing of that says something.
>>45033535
Good luck anon. I can't say that I'm hopeful for you since you're already posting here. How old are you again?
>>45033646
Since I'm bi I can still cope and tell myself I'm actually just a faggot deep down, not really a tranny. Comforting and hard to disprove.

>>45033646
how tall are you? just wanna know so i can tell you if theres hope or not

>>45033665
Im 27

>>45033754
I'm not holding my breath on this one. But again good luck.

most reppers are smaller than andreja peljic

Anyone else baldrepping?

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>>45033322
Talking to girls makes me realize how dumb and obnoxious like 75% of them are and makes the rational part of my brain temporarily stop wanting to be one, but sadly it doesn't last.
Interacting with the rare women who are cool also has the opposite effect.

>>45033895
my follicles are still holding on

>>45033845
Thanks but again it is just agp and I am the least girly person you will meet in your life so things are looking up
>>45033922
Honestly hating women and also wanting to have a gf always makes me default to being a man and I never have the urge that I want to be them if anything the more im alone the more I indulge my agp

>>45033851
Im 6'1 and about 210 pounds

watching normal unfiltered videos of girls doing things has made me more comfortable in my own body. they're not instathots with bbls.

>>45033535
Do you feel super anxious when thinking about having sex with women? I can manage talking to them, even if it is awkward.

>>45034012
I dont feel anxious about it no, its a foreign concept to me sure but I dont really feel anxious about it at all

The idea how a normal woman looks are seriously skewed online in general but here on lgbt it's both fucking hilarious and sad.

>>45034033
It's very odd when i see people saying older women are "masculine" when they're just old.

take your HRT

>>45034196
Dont listen to this person

>>45034201
John 50 say what

>>45034210
John 50 is a weak depraved retard

>>45034216
you’re weaker and more depraved than our heroic hons

>>45034025
I get an uneasy feeling in my chest when thinking about how broken I am.

>>45034227
I am a man so the opposite of weak actually

>>45034234
TYPA

>>45034229
Well the point is I feel completely fine with the idea of wanting to have sex as a man with a woman so that is the text book case of not having dysphoria

>>45034210
Literally one single case report in a pool of hundreds of thousands maybe millions of reppers.

>>45034238
Sorry you fell for the meme that you have to troon out

>... the first church fought already, as it is known, *against* the "intelligent", in favor of the "poor of spirit": how should we expect an intellectual war against passions from [the church]? the church combats the passions with scission in all its senses: its practice, its "cure" is *castratism*. [the church] never asks "how do we spiritualize (vergeistigt), beautify, divinize a desire?" - it has always laid the emphasis of discipline in the annihilation of sensuality, pride, search for power, search for possession, search for vengeance. But to attack the passions at their root means to attack life at its root: the praxis of the church is hostile towards life...
my stupid translation of the Götzendämmerung's 1st section of "Moral als Widernatur" moral as anti-nature

isnt nietzsche's reproach against the church also pertinent to transgenderism? in the sermon on the mount, when jesus says "if thine eye offend thee, cast it out of thy face" he is accepting that he cannot live with an organ that hurts him, he is accepting his weakness as he cannot take the pain of having an eye that burdens him with passions. in transgenderism/transsexualism, the individual cannot accept manhood (in mtfs); he cannot accept being perceived as a man, he feels pain as long as he is conscious of his masculinity, and he cannot endure it, he must get rid of it.
since he has learnt from culture that the opposite of a man is a woman, he gets the idea of wanting to be a woman in order to escape masculinity: hence the relatively recent surge in transgenderism, as our feminist culture depicts womanhood as being the same thing (if not better) as manhood. the obsession with democracy also plays a role: the average man is mediocre and irrelevant in society; feminism portrays women (in general, not just distinguished women) as socially significant and strong, making womanhood preferable to men who cannot accept manhood with all its passions and pains.
1/2

so transgenderism attacks the passions of manhood at its roots, it tries to uproot manhood from an individuals disposition; if your penis offends you, cut it off. if your flat chest offends you, get some breast implants. if your jaw offends you, make it shorter and softer. if your rough skin offends you, make it softer. if your hormones offend you, replace them with feminizing hormones.
transgenderism is an acceptance of weakness. and people are weak, so it is just natural that people will transition. but if someone should want to become stronger, they should eschew transgenderism and accept their condition.

i also believe man and woman as concepts are slowly becoming obsolete (somewhat following nietzsche's model of an epistemological crisis, the death of god) (and thats good) but thats a different topic

Every time I read Nietzsche it just sounds like someone profoundly misunderstanding religion.

Anyway, $4 a pound

>>45033937
lose some weight fatty

>>45034283
Muscle+fat but yeah I should

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>>45034196
HRT won't unrape me or turn everyone into an anthro woman or give me 160 acres.

>>45034255
>>45034261
If people actually loved me I wouldn't be here in these threads.

>>45034412
if i talked to people at all i wouldnt have posted that

>>45034421
Stop pretending to be me. I say I want to connect with people, but the thought of doing so as well as the act itself, feel so exhausting. I'll still be in the same place as where I started. Every social group seems to like to me so much. I think to myself, "Why the fuck do people like me so much?" It's because I'm a worthless piece of garbage that causes no controversy and is afraid of his own shadow.

>>45034511
what im not trying to be you
i meant that if i talked to people at all i wouldnt have written that wall of pseud slop

im also a meek coward who never does anything irl
just that nietzsche is my cope

>>45034241
Do you have dysphoria in other areas? I suspect that I myself don't have dysphoria, but I feel the way I do due to other conditions that I just confuse for dysphoria. But then there are moments where I really wish I was a woman. I become hyper aware of every single aspect of my maleness and how the world interacts with it. If you've heard of the button test I would press it without hesitation. If I ever have sex it needs to be with someone I genuinely like as a person. I have to know them well enough. And I hope that they truly desire me. Even if all those conditions are met, I hate myself so much that I wouldn't even deserve to be with someone as nice as that.

>>45034571
I'm sorry for misunderstanding. That's my steadily decreasing IQ for you.

>>45034255
The church was never against the passions. They are against corrupted passions, passions that are inflamed beyond their purpose, or passions that direct us against God or neighbor.

No clue what Nietzsche is on about. The church absolutely believes the passion for Beauty, Good, truth, love, justice, charity etc. Are all very good.

To say the search for "Power, pride, vengeance" are the "root of life" is extremely cringe. Nietzsche is delusional if he thinks that.

>>45034572
I know of the button test and I would have to think about it but it would probably be a 70% chance I would press it depending on if I am feeling any form of agp or not, but no I dont find any real yearning to be a girl in my day to day life its as if there is a disconnect with how I am online and when I am horny and what I am like outside of it

do people who think breastforms are creeply also think wigs are creepy

Anyone else realize they wanted to be a girl back when they were young? Like back in kindergarten young.
I had no exposure to what transgender even was since it was the late 80s, I just assumed I was weird & broken. I didn't learn that transgender was even a thing until late high school.
Still repping because I'd be an everything-hon.

>>45035083
yeah agp since before 10

IDK what happened but my desire to transition has cratered. Just don't want it that bad now. Maybe it will come back (Shit does happen in cycles)

>>45019843
i hate this image
its making me feel so powerless and also wanting to look like that is so humiliating fml...
why did you have to post this
what is even your link

Don't look in the mirror. DON'T

mirrer?
i hardly know er!

Repressor? I'm a him, not a her.

>>45035083
yeah, it sucks to be a fetishist since kindergarten

>>45035083
I remember wanting to be a girl when I was like 8, but it wasn't something I had a hard grasp on. when i was like 12 i saw a show on intersex people and was convinced i was intersex for a couple years after that.

>>45004748
idk but i wake up every day hallucinating that someone is watching me from somewhere, like a corner or above me

>>45035414
Seconding this, was a horrible mistake

If you look in the mirror and say "male skull" 3 times an adult human male appears.

>>45035083
i wannted to kill myself at 8 yo
by that time id already daydreamed quite some times about magically turning into a girl or having my brain transplanted into a woman through surgery and fleeing my country and starting a new life as a woman by myself
why did someone have to be there to talk me out of it i shouldve just done it

>>45035083
Kinda. I remember wanting to be mostly a man when I imagined my future self, but I did imagine scenarios where I turned into a girl on rare occasions. I remember my first AGP experience was years before puberty, getting aroused at the thought of being a woman. When I finally did masturbate for the first time, I didn't even know what masturbation or orgasm were. I did imagine myself as a female video game character while doing that though.

>>45035971
Many trans people will tell you to keep your head in your skull but turn your body into that of a woman. That's somehow even worse for me because I could never cope knowing I have a male mind/soul in a female body. I WANT EVERYTHING about me to be female.

>>45036001
What's so male with your soul?

>>45036174
I just have zero understanding of what it means to truly be female. I can be as empathetic as I can be towards women but I will never truly "get" it if that makes sense. Despite being hyper aware of every little behavior, it's mostly male behavior coming from me (like punching a wall when I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror). I don't do any misogynistic thing. I highly value women's opinions. I'm into masculine stuff of the nerd variety (well my enjoyment of all things has gone down over time). Yet at the same time I do feel different from other men. I don't know how, I just do. Maybe it's just my autism tricking me into thinking I want to be a woman.

>>45036269
Nta but I feel like I could have written this. My essence will never truly be feminine. Hell even one of my cis male friends has a more feminine essence than I do. He once told me that I lack "moe" and that it's not attainable to me, which is probably a proxy for this.

When transpeople start talking about how they hate their interests/personality then I think they've moved from gender dysphoria to just plain self-hatred which is a different kind of thing.

You aren't your body/social position, but who you are is your personality/interests. Hating that has to be fixed through self-acceptance and forgiveness, not medication.

>do you know what you are?
>you are what you is
>you ain't what you're not
>so see what you got
>you are what you is
>and that's all it is

>if you don't like what you have got
>drop it in the dirt and let it rot
>someone else will surely come
>and pick it up cos he wants some
>and when one day you wonder who
>you used to be and what you'd do
>you'll scratch your head and look around
>but what you lost cannot be found

a cautionary tale for reppers...