so very Very recently ive been slowly coming to terms that im probably trans ftm. with this has been an insane ammount of insecurity and whatnot that i thought my gf, whos a trans woman, would understand. She Does Not. shes repeatedly commented on my tits after ive mentioned how much i dislike them and made a comment about how my deadname was 'cute'. shes fully transitioned & started transitioning at 16 while i haven't even started T & we're both 19 and 20 now. it came to a point tonight when she saw me angrily posting abt it on my alt and i don't even know what to make of the conversation we had. i'm not gonna tell my girlfriend to not be attracted to me, but i thought she'd have enough common sense to know that I wouldn't enjoy having my feminine body pointed out to me?? She told me she had only been saying all of that because she 'thought she had too'. im just so lost on what to do here; i feel like shes never gonna stop and i'll never transition because i know shes more attracted to me this way. i cant break up with her & if i told her to her face how all this made me feel she'd never forgive herself for being the reason i rep. do i just cope? we've been together almost 2 years
>>45007077your girlfriend is an asshole and should be grateful that she'll now be blessed with st4tall jokes aside her seeming to not want to understand u is stupid as hell idek what could u do
Just tell her how you feel. Yes, she will forgive herself.
>>45007161it feels like ive told her over and over Hey Can you not comment on my body Hey can you not call me that etc etc and she just. immediately forgets. i mean we're both disabled but she remembers more about her favorite MASH character than me and what pisses me off
>>45007176Have you tried beating her into submission?
>>45007205i'd rather slit my wrists than hurt that Aphrodite of a woman in any way physically or emotionally
>>45007176keep making it loud and clear on how you feel. sit down and have one of those serious talks or something.idk if shes immediately forgetting then you gotta keep reinforcing it. dont rep and keep putting your foot down about this
>>45007238just feels like shes doing it intentionally to keep me from transitioning which i'd be fine with if she just said so. if she seriously didn't want me to transition i wouldn't she matters more to me than that, i just hate this stupid game of chicken shes making it into
>>45007294then confront her to get a clear answer.also since when does transitioning depend on whether or not your girlfriend allows it? what happened to being your own person?
>>45007355who am i if not my girlfriends girlfriend. i legit have no other friends or a job and uni is a bitch. shes the only thing i have, and it'd feel wrong breaking up with her after shes spent more money on me than I have her
>>45007366sounds like a weird miserable economic abuse situation going on to me. sorry to hear about that, anon.i believe that you still have the right to express yourself and that you need to be more stern. even if it doesnt seem like it, there are more things in life aside from your gf. its better to try and talk to her about it than to not, afterall, communication is key
>>45007366I'm sorry dude but if anyone else was saying this type of thing you'd probably recognize how unhealthy it sounds. I know you don't want to lose her but if you have to repress yourself to be with her that says to me that something is wrong with the relationship.
>>45007454its not even her own fault she'll just never get it i think this has been an issue for the past 6 months where i'll blow up and she'll basically forget what lesson we learned and go back to the start of the cycle. but shes the only person whos been able to love me after my moms passing and i cant give that up for some fantasy
>>45007483It doesn't have to be her fault for the realtionship to have issues. Sometimes two people can commit no faults and still be incompatible. It's just life. That being said the way you say that you blow up and she doesn't listen sounds like you both desperately need better communication. This goes beyond transitioning or not in my opinion.
>>45007077She doesn't like that you want to transition. No one likes it when their partner transitions on them, especially other trans people. You guys need to be more direct with eachother
>>45007734yeah i talked to her a few minutes ago and told her that at the end of the day im probably not going to transition and that she was fine and i was being insane. Because I was being insane. im a woman idrk why i would ever think or want to be anything else and i get why she'd actively try to discourage my delusion
>>45007794Good. Talking with your partner is always better than listening to randoms
>>45007077>She told me she had only been saying all of that because she 'thought she had too'.Lol. She knows you don't like those physical traits, feel dysphoric about it, but still ''thought'' (women feel) that she had to say it? That's pretty rude. Should you comment on her girl cock and wide shoulders, and say you thought you had to? And that would be okay? Stop accepting shitty things that you would never do to your partner. >>45007077>i feel like shes never gonna stop and i'll never transition because i know shes more attracted to me this way.Don't make yourself live like it. If the relationship is based on good things, then you should be able to tell her to stop. And she should be able to respect your wishes.
>>45007176Then you start commenting on how hung she is. See how she likes it.
>>45007224>i'd rather slit my wrists than hurt that Aphrodite of a woman in any way physically or emotionallyBut it's okay if she hurts you emotionally? I know you're only 19, but seriously time to start treating yourself with respect.
>>45008038yes its okay if she hurts me emotionally shes been through hell and back to be who she is now and i was probably just deluded into thinking i was trans because i wanted to steal her valor. its justified since it just knocked me out of it
>>45008029Nah getting back at your partner like this is immature. You shouldn't want to hurt your partner in the first place emotionally or otherwise. If you do that's a problem for you to sort out because purposely hurting someone you love is an issue. Additionally you should not have to play childish games with them to get them to understand what is important to you. That's going to be a massive problem down the road. To have a healthy relationship you absolutely must have a partner who you can converse with about tough issues in a way where you don't hurt each other. That's fundamental.
>>45007077Where's the communication? Talk to her if you don't like it, speak firmly: "Hey, girl, please stop," or whatever cuck shit other guys say to their girlfriends.
>>45007176Does she know you’re transgender? If you’re in the closet she may not understand that it would be hurting you that much if she’s just trying to compliment your body
>>45008668she knows
>>45008891You’ve told her?
