I think I ended up grooming myself into taking care of grown men on the internet at a young age because of deciding to watch Sewayaki No Kitsune Senko San, and replicated the fox's behaviors in how I interacted with others, and sat and took emotional and mental baggage from total strangers and grown men 8-10 years older than me at the age of 13 on Discord. Now, I'm 18, and miserable, myself. Strangely enough, I miss being a child, because I want to do it again. I want to feel needed and important again, and loved again, even by older men. I'm such a molested fucking retard, dude... I have not changed one bit, other than my emotional state. FML, and blow my head off.
>>45040436I did this shit around 13-14 online and I'm 25 now. I think this is probably a fairly common occurrence especially if you're a girl or a "boy" on the internet, at least if you're also the attention seeking type that are probably engaging with them for other reasons. >wanting to feel needed and important and loved by older menYou can probably still find a good relationship with an older man, but your brain hasn't fully developed so I can't guarantee it'd be the best decision yet. On the flip side, my mom is dating a guy only three years older than me and he was only 17 when they got together so.. Idk just make sure you don't give everything to someone who sucks and that they love you back without any abuse or whatever
>>45040528I've definitely had a lot of problems doing that last part... I should probably avoid it, but it's so lonely where I am, so I'm still incredibly tempted to pursue.My reasonability skills has definitely started to improve a lot more, though, as time went on and I realized that a constant output of energy into someone else who doesn't reciprocate isn't sustainable long term. Maybe I'll be fine. I need to get my head out of whatever shit I have it in right now, because I don't think I'm even sapient enough nowadays to make those kinds of decisions. It's probably just a chase for nostalgia.
>>45040591If you have a lot of problems with that, it'd be best if you don't pursue those relationships for the time being. It's good you're at least aware of yourself and are able to learn from your past, so you're "sapient" enough for your age lol. You're still growing, don't beat yourself up for it, we all have these complicated feelings and learn to manage them as we go.
