I have a condition that has unfortunately made intimacy painful for me, and even though I had surgery it just got worse. I asked my partner if it was okay if we refrained from sex until I felt good enough, and she said it was okay, and things were awesome until one night we were drinking and apparently had sexual contact that I can't remember. I was in a lot of pain after. Since then, it has happened a couple more times. I don't know if I should tell her to stop, because I don't know what happens during these incidents, and I don't want her to feel bad, but I really have no interest in sex at the moment and in the few flashes of memory I have I just want it to be over with. I love her. Please if you have any advice or insight I would be very grateful.
archbishop rhea wouldn't say that
>>45042542your partner is drugging and raping you while you're unconscious??????
>>45042560Happy Halloween>>45042614I don't think I'm unconscious, I just can't remember what happens. So I might be totally awake? That's why I am so confused I guess. She will tell me things I said or did so I must have been awake I think.
>>45042644If this is real, you need to get away from her. She's abusing you.
>>45042674It is, I wish it wasn't. I choose/chose to drink, so she's not like drugging me or anything, my memories just cut off at a certain point. I've obviously lessened my drinking when we're together now but I worry now that sex is "back on the table" I can't remind her that I told her I didn't want to without like seriously hurting her
>>45042712Has she also pressured you to stop talking or spending time with your friends and family? Do you have a therapist or somebody you trust to talk about this? She's forcing or at least pressuring you to have sex when you're incapacitated and not able to consent. That's straight up sexual assault, whether it feels like it or not. What can anyone here say to you besides:>get out>get help>speak upthis is serious and you need to do something
>>45042749I just worry that during the parts I can't remember I'm enthusiastic and say yes, and since I really don't know I can't really accuse her of that. She is pretty clingy and worries about me cheating but its because she got cheated on in the past, she says its not my fault. I have a therapist and have started talking to her about it recently. My partner is friends with my mother and I am not out to her either so I can't ask her advice, since I got sick I don't have a lot of people around, part of why I posted here. Thank you for taking me seriously
>>45042542Are you biologically male or female, and are you trans?
>>45042791I am kind of a ftm repper, I would like to transition but I have to sort this disease out first so I can be self sufficient. I didn't think it was relevant, but my partner is a cis woman
>>45042806No I was trying to figure out what the disease was since you said cis woman partner I kinda assumed you were MTF but was like I don’t think there’s much that would cause someone’s pp to hurt and have intimacy problems for that long, unless it’s like broken or something.Your partner sounds like she is either massively misunderstanding the situation or manipulating you into sex even though it hurts you. Maybe if it happened recently make a deliberate show of how much it hurts, exaggerating if u have too even, and say you can’t do it again because it is way too painful the day after.
>>45042712you're putting her hypothetical emotional pain above your actual physical painshe is assaulting you and possibly is doing it knowing you will allow her to in these moments despite how you feelget out now
>>45042782I'm sorry you're going through all of this
>>45042837It is endometriosis, it doesn't affect everyone the same way but mine was untreated for a while and I have organs stuck together and all that. Even just arousal can cause pain, hence my kinda total lack of interest now.That's a really great idea about emphasizing the pain, I'll try that. I think she just doesn't understand the extent of it, and that its not that I don't love her>>45042857I just don't understand how she could be doing that, she was an assault victim so I just don't understand how she could do it. I probably sound stupid though>>45042864Thank you so much
>>45042877>she was an assault victim so I just don't understand how she could do itshe likely hasn't worked through her trauma and assumes only bad people with evil intentions assault, and since she is a good person with good intentions, what she is doing is not assault
>>45042877Does T help or hurt endometriosis? I’ve heard it can sometimes help since it gets your e levels way lower but don’t know enough about it to know if that’s true
>>45042542You should probably make the sleep rape play explicit so that neither of you need to confront the fact that you didn't even discuss that shit before hand. And then he can thank his lucky stars for the rest of eternity that you're so open minded and magnanimous.
>>45042901Hmm, that does make sense. She has a therapist at least.>>45042938I've heard mixed things. I've taken hormones for it that have masculinizing side effects and that went pretty well for a while. The atrophy concerns me since all of my stuff is glued together and I would like to be able to use the restroom unassisted. I've heard of FTMs with endometriosis who get a hysterectomy then start HRT and do well. >>45043415We may have discussed sex but there's no way for me to know now
>>45042560Yes she would
