>be me >23 mtf passoid>been on hrt for a bit over a year now>still have intense dysphoria and transitioning hasn't changed it>want to rope everydayI dont know what to do, I'm passing, ive actually got friends now, I actually have a life worth living, but im still miserable. I think my dysphoria was always centred around being a cis girl and that will never happen. I know im passing and that doesnt give me the right to complain but I am at the end of my rope I cant handle this anymore I feel like im being eaten away from within and the pain is unbearable. What can I even do to not be miserable? When I started passing and stopped being seen as male in public it gave me shortterm happiness before I realised I will never be cis so what is the point.
>>45117574You need therapy at this point. You need to learn that being trans, although different than cis, isn’t bad. Cis was never the goal, cis passing and functional was.Consider a girl who gets hit by a car and loses the ability to walk on her right leg. She now has a life altering injury that she will never recover from. She has a prosthetic leg, or maybe she uses crutches, etc. regardless, she is functional, able to find love, and has the protential for a great life. You need to adopt this mindset. It’s copium to say you can be cis, but its not copium to say that you can live a genuinely great life even if there is a small subset of privilege you will never have.
>>45117574>on hrt for a bit over a year now>passoid it's not fair its not fucking fair might be time for you to hop on anti depressants or therapy idk
>>45117633seconding this
>>45117633I got to therapy but it isn't really progressing anywhere. I am genuinely trying so hard, I have had to stop from killing myself everyday since the age of 10, I just dont know if I have the energy to keep going.>>45117647I am on lots of medication for multiple things, the other stuff has mainly been solved but nothing i do has done anything about my dysphoria.
obvious humblebrag post
>>45117737Could genuinely be a mediocre therapist or maybe the style of therapy isn’t the best. Also sounds like you have more than just trans issues. I think you should stay in the game, you’re honestly still in the hard part, my emotions/brain/mental etc didn’t level out until i was about 3 years into hrt. 23 is a hard age, 23 +trans issues even harder. So it makes sense things are hard and harder for you. But things do get better if you continue trying your best to work on it
>>45117759I am genuinely asking for help, I felt guilty for making this post and have wanted to for a while but I know I have no right to complain because I have been incredibly lucky in so many ways. I am so close to killing myself and I am asking for a lifeline, I wish I could just choose to be happy but I can't
>>45117765Ok i will keep trying, its just been so hard. I just want to be happy. Even seperately from dysphoria i got diddled as a kid and had schizophrenia emerge at 15 so I think I just lost the mental genetic lottery.
>>45117809Yea girl, that completely makes sense why you would feel this way, you’ve gone through some crazy stuff that a lot of people don’t, give yourself some grace, it’s going to take some time but it sounds like you’re actually working on it and that will lead to progress
>>45117574>pass>still have dysphoriaAnon that's not how it works. passing cures dysphoria unless you fucked something up. maybe you have a different mental illness (depression? anxiety?) or maybe you're not the gender/sex you think you are (not saying you're your birth sex, but maybe you'd be happier as NB or something?)
>>45117936Thank you, I really mean it. I didn't think I'd make it past tonight. I was feeling so scared of what I was going to do to myself. I will keep trying, and I hope you're right and it will get better.
>>45117948I dont know why it didn't cure it for me then. I definitely am a girl becuase thats all I wanted to be since my earliest memories. Maybe it's dysphoria from alot of internalised transphobia cos I was forcerepped until 22, and was only able to get on hrt without being kicked out the house at the time because I threatened to kill myself infront of my parents then and there if they continued keeping me from hrt
>>45117633>at this point
