>cis(?) autist>can't remember having body image issues but feel weird pit of the stomach feeling about puberty>hit my 30s, in long term relationship>weirdly, seeing men in public and getting this sinking feeling like "I wish I was born like that">amab already so there's literally nothing I can do, no idea where the feeling is coming from, try to ignore>months later, just gets worse>weed smoking ramps up, hard to sleep for thoughts about it>start having dreams that I die and reincarnate for a second chance, hoping to feel different>ignore more, almost 2 years later>sex makes me suicidal>isolate myself from everyone, worry my family>my boyfriend is confused, asking me if I want to be a woman, can't understand when I try to explain>finally reach the end of the waitlist for a therapist, on the first call she says she doesn't know how to treat thisI don't even know what I am, I feel like I was a misprint. Is this just wanting to be a girl but the autism is masking it? What the fuck is going on in me :(
idk why having a desire to be a man would ever point to being trans dude…. maybe you just have body image issues? are you actually attracted to men? sex is kinda hard when you don’t actually enjoy it. idk could be a lot of things
Poon equivalent kikomi moder is certainly something
Are you just sad that the guys you wish you were born like are just hotter or younger than you? Or that you want a 2nd chance to be more successful in life? It doesn't sound like any of this has to do with lgbt issues except your unexplained distate for sex now (I assume you used to be gay and are now ace?)
>>45118464>maybe you just have body image issues? are you actually attracted to men? I feel pretty fucking bad seeing myself in the mirror, but I have no idea what I'd change to feel better. Tried losing weight and fully didn't care about the results so that wasn't it, I have tried the beard a million different ways, taking minox to try make body hair grow in more because maybe that's the problem. There's just no sensation to go from, I can't feel where better is so I can only guess because right now feels bad.>>45118515there's a lot of interesting lore on this board>>45118560>Are you just sad that the guys you wish you were born like are just hotter or younger than you?No, average looking men are the worst for me, I don't really have the response for younger guys or beautiful people. The last trigger was just the guy who did our boiler service. I get really caught up on mannerisms, I get fucked up every time I go to the supermarket just from seeing random men out with their families. >I assume you used to be gay and are now ace?Increasingly ace, but I am trying to not go entirely because I love my boyfriend and all the rest of this stuff is hard and not his faultsorry for the long posts, and thank you for helping me think about it
