i fucked things up with my friends months ago and now everything seems pointless.my best friend got drunk and sexually assaulted someone else in the group, everyone but me disowned him, i didn't believe it for a while but now i do.i apologized to her over text (not very well - i was stoned) and have been radio silent ever since. i like to watch them all play games in the discord server and feel sorry for myself, wishing i could speak to them.only speak to one friend now, we have lunch together once a week.i could try reaching out to the others but i feel like i have no place with them anymore, and its just so fucking hard. we used to all live close together and hang out often, i miss them so much.any other stoner trooners ruin their only good friendships ??
>>45119226You might as well reach out. You can either be silent and excluded forever or make an attempt to communicate your thoughts/ feelings and rejoin the group
>>45119226Such is the life of a rape apologist. You live, you learn.
>>45119226>only speak to one friend now, we have lunch together once a week.wouldnt they know if youre still welcome or not?
>>45119253you are right.at first distancing myself was necessary, i knew she didn't want to be around me, but it's been 8 months now. i feel like i've been waiting for some arbitrary event to draw us all back together.i sent another apology to her a few months later and it was met with no reply so i haven't reached out since.>>45119272i've spoken about it to him before, she doesn't hate me but she's not happy with me, and neither were the rest of my friends. i feel like too much time has passed. he says i need to reach out.
>>45119332Your presence will forever remind her of being raped. Even when you weren't the rapist. Because you stood up for him.
>>45119412what I'm saying is, let that girl keep the friend group. She needs it more than you, and you were the one who majorly fucked up.
>>45119412>>45119433less 'stood up for him', more 'kept talking to him after she told me that if i didn't cut him off we couldn't remain friends'.which is arguably worse.. i didn't want to hurt anyone but i honestly thought there was some way i could be friends with them all. i really thought that it could've been some misunderstanding.i feel like so much of this was because i was smoking so much weed, high all the time, and didn't realise how deep this all was.she can keep the friend group, i deserve to fucking rot.
>>45119471I had a buddy who allegedly "raped" (verb they used) a mutual friendHe didn't. He touched his hips while making a gay joke and our mutual friend had to go to therapyAll the other gay jokes we had made had never done anything, but that one fucked him up a guess. Our group had a huge argument and split apartTldr I don't blame you for being skeptical because of my own experiences. That said, get in there and make a sincere apology and tell everyone you miss them
>>45119265Foidspeak to make people think women go through the same torture and murder that men do
>>45119499at first i agreed with you, but then i read back my old messages. oh my god. i was so insincere when she sent me that first message, asking me not to talk to him, reading what i wrote feels alien. it's like slop. oh my god. i am such a fucking tool.i've never been mean really, in fact so many people have told me im "so lovely", "really nice person" but i guess im just a people pleaser, as im horrible when it comes to actual conflict, and other important parts of being a good friend. i really thought i could have my cake and eat it to.i didn't mean any harm, but i didn't do much to stop being a bad friend.i deserve this and i never deserved friends that good in the first place. holy shit. i never realised how lucky i was until i pissed it all away.
>>45119584Yeah, see all this stuff you just told me?Tell that to the friends you want to hangout with again, and explain that you miss themI'm not trying to sound like a dick. I'm trying to be sincere
>>45119690thank you. you are right. and you didn't sound like a dick.i don't know how to tell that to them. i want to send a private message to her of course, but what about the others?talking about it to any of them is tough, i really don't want to reopen old wounds, or be where im not wanted.i know there's no magic point where it all goes back to normal again. i want to be a better friend. i wish i was a better friend in the past. i almost wish they never knew me and i could start fresh. i've always been shit in conflicts and they all know that.
>>45119757I don't know how you do that. I wish I had advice or I could help you. I'm sorry.One way or another, if you want to reconnect with then you're gonna have to reach out. And it sounds like you don't have much to lose. Either they will welcome you back or you will be excluded (which is basically what you are right now)
>>45120212i think i need more time to grow as a person before i reach out.. or maybe that's just an excuse for me to keep going on the path of least resistancei realise how lame i was now. i fully do. i went back through all of the messages from that time, what the fuck was i thinking?i will do my best to learn from this.
oh, I’ve got a story. but it’s a real doozie
