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I had severe dysphoria since I was very young. I was out at the age of 7, before knowing what transsexual people even were. I learned about a year later what it actually was. I knew about DIY since before puberty, and I so badly wanted to get on it but I am from a country with no bitcoin machines, and I had no one who didn't see me as a delusional little girl that would buy me testosterone. My parents controlled all my finances and were very strict about spending, so I couldn't buy it online by myself either. My parents, therapists and doctors at check-ups also all told me it was a phase and I would grow out of it soon. I knew they were wrong, but what could I do? I wasn't allowed on puberty blockers either. I spent my entire life trying to prove to everyone I was something they didn't see me as. I've been completely stealth since I came out mind you, and even people who went on to be transphobes that I was friends with in primary school forgot that I'm affected by this illness. I know I'm lucky on that end, I never had female socialisation and everyone sees me as cis due to the age I was out since. I'm now 16, and finally going on testosterone, which you might think "that's still youngshit age!" But I hit foid puberty at 9. Stopped growing at 11. Tanner stage 5 by 14. It's been over for a while. My puberty was fast and caused me to feel severly disabled, and nothing but surgery will fix my disgusting tumor infested body now. My chest infections are double the size of my ribcage which makes binding and taping inaffective. I'm 5'4. The only thing saving me is my voice that I've trained since I can remember. I lost my chance at being a normal, non malformed, non diseased man due to no medical support. I am less than human, yet I'm a luckshit. What the fuck did I do to deserve such medical malpractice? I was a really good kid, I promise.