hi

>>45259888
> Do you find it difficult to focus because of your dysphoria?
Maybe? I’ll be trying to do something and I’ll glance at my feed or tv and I’ll see some passing successful transgirl and it will occupy my mind quite a bit. I’ve repped hard my whole life and really only used masturbating to the thought of me being a transgirl during sex as a way to make the thoughts go away. So when the thoughts come im in a bit of a pickle.

>>45259888
Nice trips. Very lucky.
>QOTT
Very much so. It can be often crippling. I do think I might have ADHD separately to my dysphoria which does not help either because stimulants suck.

>>45259870
I admit that your questions poked many holes in my arguments and ideas. But still that doesnt mean i shouldnt repress because my lengthy torso, my shoulders, my skull and my moidly feet all condemn me to be a man forever. Also the hips will always look narrower than the shoulders and also my back is easily identifiable as male and the size of the ribcage doesnt help either. And my eyes are small and my midface is long and yeah i will try to post less because im not trying to be annoying. Any other bone pills/ brainworms that you guys know of? i never knew what expanded facial planes meant.

Yeah my hands wouldn't pass either.they are like 7 inches long in vertical length I think. Slightly above that but under 7 and a half and being 5'9 or 5'10 doesn't help either though the skull and length of my face are by far the worst aspects but yeah sorry I get that I should stfu. Unfortunately I will never have a chaser who will force me to take estrogen but it's cool anyway because I'm cis and I'm not sure if you read the post from the guy who is 6'5 but he is true trans unlike me.

I quit shaving my face.
What's the point if it doesn't make me look like a woman?

"Cis people don't question their gender" Bullshit yes the fuck they do. And for me it has less to do with questioning and more to with ending my suffering and finally escaping limbo and finally becoming a normal person for the first time ever.

I never questioned my gender. I answered it.

even if i magically turned into a cis woman, i would still think that im just a fake agp faggot, but i would be happier with myself

>>45259963
I let my beard grow back. I feel like the dog in the meme with the burning room and he says this is fine.
>>45259994
Good thing that cis women can have AGP too.

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>>45259994
Every 30 minutes it's a new cope with you
pills

>>45259966
Yeah they do, if you're cis though you usually figure it out without much trouble and suffering unlike if you're trans.
>>45259963
You should do something about the beard shadow, like makeup. Or get laser. These will significantly help. Also getting your eyebrows done. And learning makeup in general. But honestly HRT also does a lot with fat redistribution.

>>45260022
beard shadow? bro I have a full beard. This is repgen not boymodergen

>>45260022
Oh I figured it out...in the past. If you asked me 10 years ago what gender I wanted to be, I would have said man. I always had AGP but whenever I imagined myself in the future it was always as a man. Now I don't even want to imagine the future desu. I can see myself as a man in some visions, and as a woman in others but the latter is just delusional. Basically I won't waste time with the rest of this reply I'm definitely faketrans but I stopped worrying about that now.

You know I'm not trans because I'm ass at programming.

I do think this is making it difficult to focus and think properly.
I talked to the doctor about it, she was very sweet and referred a clinic and an endocrinologist
This whole event has made me feel hopeful and comforted

>>45260036
Don't even bother with her, she's here to fuck with people who are already suffering.

Voice dysphoria. I would say voice is slightly higher than average for men, but it is still undeniably male. Female voices are just so much expressive and brighter. Listening to women speak just makes it so much more apparent how different my voice and speech mannerisms are to them. Some of the music artists I listen to are women and some of the stuff they do a man would have to strain to sound even somewhat similar and even then it will never reach the beauty of a female voice.
>>45260141
I'm wishing a happy life for you anon.

i cant understand why anybody would want to be amab

I love being male. I just don't like having gender dysphoria. if a pill cured GD I would take it in a heart beat

>durr estrogen cures GD
hahahah No it doesn't.

>>45260242
It made sense back when afabs didn't have equal rights. Now that they do being amab is pointless.

everyday feels like a rising fucking headache that keeps on building up to some supposed climax.

but it never quite gets there, it somehow keeps on going on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

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every day i think about how there are people who actually got to have a life worth living because of transitioning and actually like being alive
and that one trans woman on here that told me “fuck you, i went through fucking hell to get there”
i went through hell too but i didn’t get anything for it, and im still there
i just got tortured and abused by bullies and people with power over me my whole life and never had the strength to fight back and just let myself be fucking tortured and they all will probably get away with it
i fucking hate that i re-discovered the concept of transitioning again in the past few years, it feels like i discovered a small colony of people who basically got to live like they’re in heaven while still being on earth
it feels like being homeless and discovering a bunch of millionaires who used to be homeless but somehow got lucky enough to become millionaires and actually enjoy life now
i should have had the courage to kill myself, i got tortured by abusers in the real world and also i get harassed by evil spirits and disturbing dreams in the “spirit”/dream world
i hate my life so fucking much. i hate being tortured by having to know about people who got something so nice that i want but probably will never get so much.
i was reading umineko recently and felt so sad when i got to the scene where Kanon yells at Shannon saying “I wanted to fall in love too!” when talking about how Shannon deluded herself into thinking she could experience normal human things like romance even though her and him have to live only as servants in the mansion.
i hate human life so much. i think this part of reality is some kind of trap for souls (and not like “samsara” because i grew up in a hindu cult and have extreme religious trauma from converting to buddhism and i despise dharmic religions and religion in general now)
why did i get such an unlucky life?

>>45260242
Physical strength and the chance of rising to the top of society above all women and the rest of men. Still, I would rather be afab though. They actually get to have personhood unlike most amabs because our retarded ape species will always see them as inherently more valuable. Afabs have so many shitty things to deal with like periods, pregnancy risks, and getting abused by amabs, but I would take the risks and negatives if it means I actually get to be a person and accepted and loved by society as I am.

>>45260379
i was also offered to go on hrt at fucking 13 but was too scared to do it then forgot about it and then had to rediscover trans women during the worst fucking tone of my life which is still going on. ive had bedbugs for nearly 4 years and had to deal with my evil piece of dried shit abusive sadist pig father spreading them through our house and car for years and laughing like an evil child while exaggeratedly pretending to scratch hid balls, stalk me and my mom and repeat things from our private conversations to taunt us about it, violate my restraining order and risk getting caught but still getting away with it. getting charges dropped after he nearly killed me and my mother because we would be homeless if he pressed charges.
and i get bullied every time i start going crazy and try to vent on 4chan because it’s the only place with other people who have had abnormal fucked up lives as me, but is also full of bully pieces of shit.
i hate my fucking life. i feel like a fucking animal that got stuck and cant move and is just starving to fucking death
thanks for reading to whoever reads this without attacking me for it like some psychopathic people on this site do

>>45260402
if we* pressed charges

>>45260379
didn't they tell you human birth is extremely auspicious
and samsara is all reality not just this part

Okay the next endo appointment is in august of next year. Feeling a little less good.
You all should consider these things while repping, it takes time to stop

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what are your repper copes?

for me it is madsmaxxing, if i just act like a sensitive middle aged man it will be okay

>>45260634
Jerking off excessively
Caffeine (drink like 4 espressos a day)
Nicotine

I used to do drugs (meth, ritalin, ...) but I don't have the money to buy them anymore...

>>45259888
taking E unironically feels like it made my ADHD a lot better. to the point where i almost could classify it as an ADHD med, for me.
i already had the "mental fog" and E seemed to clear it, if anything

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>>45260465
theres a million different beliefs in hinduism and buddhism about what samsara is and what human birth means
buddhists think literally erasing your own existence is escaping samsara while in the hindu cult i grew up in they just believe that their specific deity’s personal heaven realm is what’s outside of samsara or some formless state that jnana yogis attain
also jains believe that some souls cant even escape samsara, and buddhists dont even believe in a soul
also some dharmic religions just claim that youre god and everything is just you and comes from the self
i really hate religion, it just adds more suffering to human life than there already is
we are blind and deaf to the truth about reality so it doesnt matter and its just cope but also there are gods and demons and evil spirits and some people are fortunate to be able to communicate with the good spiritual beings and even be given help by them, i used to be one of them but when i left the religion i grew up in i think some fucked up trickster entity or demon started causing extreme negative circumstances in my life (getting bedbugs from neighbors, extreme and sudden escalation of domestic violence) and now im all alone because i dont have any religion that i like and i think i also have malicious entities following me trying to fuck with my mind. 9/10 of my dreams in the past few years are either neutral and i forget them or weird or disturbing at worst. i’ve had actually positive dreams only a handful of times in the last few years.
i really don’t understand why this is happening to me, i had a dream once where i just heard a voice tell me “some people choose to be tortured in this life so that they have an advantage in the afterlife” but i dont believe it and i think it could have been a malicious entity lying to me. and i dont want to be tortured.
i hate reality. i hate religions and their depressing and confining beliefs and their threats.

>>45260634
looking at pictures on tumblr and pinterest
that’s literally it, nothing else helps me
i hate my life so much
i also like eating sweets but im scared of getting diabetes even though im pretty sure i have a shitty fate and will probably live really long because i have a miserable life so i wouldnt be blessed to die suddenly and diabetes wouldnt kill me anyway i would just have to take medication
i used to like drinking tea too but i found out that green tea might raise testosterone and even contribute to balding and black tea does the opposite and lowers dht as much as finasteride apparently so i just drink black tea to try to get whatever minimal amount of feminization i can get without hrt but i dont like how black tea tastes so i dont really enjoy drinking tea anymore
i also used to like music but it doesnt help anymore because it isn’t enough to make me feel better

how to magically turn into a woman?

>>45260772
>surface level understanding
>muh demons
yeah you're retarded

things get a bit easier when you realise all is vanity, everything you see online is just people advertising their persona, women know they are attractive so they post pictures of themselves, there is no becoming process where you could do the same thing, they are just exploiting their natural situation, that is nobodys fault, its all just random. i have no particular positive traits that i could advertise to someone, so i have no inclination to, i dont have to achieve it.

Vanity of Vanities, all is vanity!

are you a repper if you get mad youll never get mistaken for a woman and like your gyno even if you find immense comfort in being a cis man on hrt? i compulsively tell people im probably a tranny but dont want to come out out of fear but i feel like that might be a lie. i feel like i just say it because its a non vain excuse to do hrt.

Just kidnap me and forcibly transition me please. I can't be trusted to fix my own life.

>>45260262
you can't travel to afghanistan as a troon

each day that passes my resentment towards women grows bigger and bigger

>>45261311
same

nietzsche was right about everything
women are little frail creatures with a mind full of fantasies and fairies and wizards and dragons
western society is becoming mostly composed of women in spirit if not in body, and from both sides, from the right and from the left
only those who actively refuse to become women will ever make progress in the right direction

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even chad is being psyopped into transitioning, trannies have gone too far

im scared. i feel like im about to have a heart attack

>>45261555
just rep more it'll be ok

>>45261561
i dont want to do this anymore :(

>>45259888
nice trips but take your HRT, retards

No Anime Vagina
No Anime Vagina
No Anime Vagina

>QOTT: Do you find it difficult to focus because of your dysphoria?
Yeah, sometimes I spend a good bit of my spare time lying in bed or watching random stuff to distract myself. Currently my dysphoria is gone and I'm largely comfortable BEING A MAN though so I guess I'm free!! It'll definitely not come back in three days!!

feeling despair. want to kms

>>45262650
I get mini panic attacks occasionally. I also cry in public sometimes.

>>45260036
? Are you intentionally pretending to not understand that I mean you shave first?
>>45260188
???
>>45260251
Seems like you're contradicting yourself.
>>45260402
I read it, that fucking sucks.

i was exposed to an excess of estrogen in the womb, i know it because my mother has told me several times that when i was born the nurse squeezed my teat and milk came out of it and ive also had another instance of galactorrhea this year
i am not a woman, just an excessively estrogenized man

I don't have passoid potential. I will never have the mind and soul of a woman. I will never be able to behave like a woman. I will never have a woman's childhood experiences. I will never have female physiological processes. Society will never see me as a woman. Women will never see me as a close friend beyond a retarded fucking token moid friend. Women will never desire me as a foid or a moid. I will never see myself as a woman. I would always be an autistic incel traumatized fetishist moid skinwalking a made up woman who was never real and never will be. I will never fucking merge with her, she's too far away and unobtainable.
>>45262906
I should ask my mom if she knows anything about this

I wish I had a feminine essence

>>45263090
realest

I wish I could be a cis man with an obsession with being a woman so I can repress but I'm not even valid enough for that.

>>45261577
only if you inject me

Hewo everyone I am male straight 27 and I autistic and a virgin I knew hear

https://www.instagram.com/reels/DfXoDXRJAan/

She is one of the few cases of John 50ing going well.

>>45260871
>grew up in fringe hindu cult started by indian immigrant and had this stuff hammered into my head my entire life
>studied my own religion then converted to and and practiced buddhism so strictly that it fucked my entire life up and i couldnt do almost anything unrelated to the religion except for the bare minimum like schoolwork
>obsessively studying spirituality to cope with difficult life circumstances for years
>”surface level knowledge”
you’re the one who’s fucking stupid. and no one likes a bully, cunt. imagine claiming you have more understanding than other people while acting like a 12 year old on xbox live, like most of the shitheads on this site who are just here because theyre bored college boys here because they think its a funny place.
and i spoke to a real shaman about some of this stuff and asked him questions, and he actually agreed with me on some of the things i theorized. go fuck yourself.

>>45262904
thanks twin < 3

>>45263709
Same. I had spent several months without being sad about the fact iwnbaw. I blame trans bitches on the internet for making young sensitive men with a fragile sense of identity and neurodivergence question our gender and telling us that if we would press a button to turn into a woman that makes us trans.

>>45265313
Is there a reason you can't get on HRT now? I know it's not ideal...
>>45265022
She passes but overall a very strange reel.
>>45263709
Why are you here then? Don't say ROGD.
>>45263059
Woman is a socially constructed category and you should keep in mind the golden rule that individual differences crush group differences. So none of those things disqualify you from being a woman. You got it nona.
>>45262906
This is a valid theory some hold for why people are transgender, it's interesting. It being true is not an anti-reason to transition though. Nor does it mean you "aren't a woman".

What is a woman?

>>45265565
youre my favorite poster in this board. And you are right, the only things that disqualify someone from being a woman are having a larger skull than most cis men (mine is probably bigger than 95% of cis guys) , excessively broad shoulders, a lengthy torso, big hands or feet, big rib cage, etc.

>>45265607
An adult human female. This term doesnt even disqualify trans women kek, it only does until you are asked to define female.

>>45265565
>She passes but overall a very strange reel.
No she doesnt, but she is one of the cutest non passoids out there.

She has nice features.

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Guys how long is it going to take to accomplish tcd? im waiting for that to happen so that i can be forcefully transitioned by the government, killed for being cis or transitioning by choice

>>45265621
>>45265640
Thanks for namefagging so I can ignore you more easily.
>>45265607
A member of the socially constructed category "women".
>>45265724
Don't count on it happening soon.

>>45265762
youre so mean to me for no reason

>>45265762
>A member of the socially constructed category "women".
yeah that is a circular definition. You need to define women first.

And the best definition that doesnt even exclude trans women is adult human female. Obviously you would have to define female first

>>45265817
>yeah that is a circular definition
Yeah it is. So what? Social categories are basically clustering which is an inherently circular definition.

>>45265897
>>that is a circular definition
>So what?
this is why human beings should all fucking die.

>>45265965
You can't "define" any social category in a non-circular way because that's how clustering works. You can derive statistical correlates later from the clustered boundaries but those are not causal. Why is this so hard to understand?

>>45265565
>Is there a reason you can't get on HRT now
i’m not in the US rn and won’t be for months, so i can’t diy right now
i also had a bad experience when i did diy that made me think estrogen was triggering my hppd because i woke up having full blown psychedelic visuals once and it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life, but similar stuff has happened after i woke up from really intense/vivid dreams, so i have no idea. that was the only time something like that happened to such an intense degree, it made me think i can never be on hrt again
it’s not such a big deal, i just wish i had a less masculine face
my hair is also shorter than it was when i was on hrt, so i would just look like a man with boobs if i diyed again now, haha

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>>45265897
are you basically waiting so you can pay for surgeries or get a job to transition? idk you seem like a really positive person you really dont seem like someone who wants to rep forever. You dont have to answer if you feel uncomfortable with the question, but yeah i also feel that you will eventually transition, look good, be happy and leave this place behind. And i will continue to rot, until i die.

You know, its really unfortunate. Making a strong case for why trans women are female is just hard. I would instead appeal to empathy and to the medical nature of transsexuality to get people to side with them as an ally but ive often seen the women at 4tran4 dogpiling allies who are not willing to concede to all of their demands and in a way its great when people stand up for themselves like that, life is hard, and hopefully if i dont get cured at least i will eventually have some healthy cope like going to therapy.

>>45265977
and even if you hate me i hope you still make it and pass eventually, you are a really likeable person

>>45265977
We derived those clusters from reproductive roles like we have for all the other mammals

>>45265977
>You can't "define" any social category in a non-circular way
So fucking get rid of all of them. There is no reason to accept circular reasoning, ever. The fact that human beings do this is a condemnation of the entire fucking species.

>>45265993
It's probably not the estrogen. Fat redistribution might do something for your face but don't hold your breath. And there's no reason you can't be on HRT while you grow out your hair.
>>45265994
I'm trying to not rep at the moment but I feel I will end up killing myself anyways.
>you seem like a really positive person
You couldn't be any more wrong.
>Making a strong case for why trans women are female is just hard.
No not really. They are female because they say they are. Simple as.
>>45266016
>really likeable
Could not be any further from the truth. Despite appearances you'd have to think why I would be posting here in repgen.
>>45266032
Yes, we *derived* them. The clusters started off as such maybe but now they have a life of their own.
>>45266056
I agree! But most people aren't ready for that conversation.

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>>45266032
yeah so chromosomes are basically not really what determines sex right? do they not create the settings that eventually allow primary sexual organs, which eventually give way to reproductive function?

can you not have xx chromosomes and still make eggs? or have anything other than xy chromosomes and produce sperm if you are intersex? idk

id rather make an appeal to praxis than to theory. Calling a trans woman who passes he or a man is deranged. Yes, passoids are women, no one can debunk this.

I hate facial and body hair

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>>45266083
I don't wanna treat ugly hons as women and I'm pretty sure most people in general feel the same

>>45266083
how over is it for you sister? you never told us (i think) any of your measurements, like how tall you are or something and you are always trying to convince other people they can make it, even if its definitively over for them (like me) and yeah that is why i was saying that you are really positive and your kind of sneed transfeminism doesnt hold up to logical scrutiny imo but its an ideology that aims to be inclusive and in that sense it is noble.

>>45263059
>>45262906
My mom has told me that she purposefully boosted her estrogen levels while trying for me in order to have a higher chance of having a girl. Fucking thanks. She hates trans people through and doesn't know I'm trans btw.

>>45266131
Sorry you're transphobic, I guess. It doesn't really cost you anything. Inb4 you spin some weird tall tale about perverts.
Society in general does not treat ugly people as well as non-ugly people so you're in good company there. It's not like ugly cis women are treated well, but they are still treated as women.
>>45266135
>doesnt hold up to logical scrutiny
I've spent enough years considering basically every other coherent theory, and really, this is the one that is logically consistent. If you disagree I implore you to think deeper about the implications of your preferred theory.
>how over is it for you sister?
I'm hopeful, I guess. I'm not super bonepilled but at this point it's just a thing to take care of before hitting the rope. Even if I pass I have a feeling the depression will take me anyways.
>>45266168
Grim. Retard mother doesn't know that the sex of a fetus is almost always determined by presence of the Y chromosome.

>>45266181
so whats your most (if it doesnt make you uncomfortable to share) dysphoric feature or that you think it would prevent you from passing? for me its probably the skull, after that the shoulders, the length of the torso and the rib cage.

im super brainwormed today i saw a cis woman with a red dress it had the back uncovered and at first i wondered if she was a tranny because i felt like her shoulders were broad and like her back was wider than most cis women.

Yeah the bonepill is everything. Please dont kys but also imo some people are still clocky due to their bone structure and sometimes they still look cute (i can think of arca and shaye) the woman from the reel i shared, who both kind of have skulls that are larger than the female average but still look kinda cute.

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>>45266181
yeah there is also this puerto rican rapper and yeah her skull is probably also larger than the male average but i think she is cute but she obviously doesnt body pass and her stage name is villano antillano in case you want to google her but yeah she is also a hussy just like arca and at that point it does make more sense to lose cis privilege if you never had straight privilege unlike faketrans jeeps such as myself.

I'm reading accounts from detransitioners. I really go back and forth with the idea of transitioning. Maybe for a lot of trans people it's deep seated issues that if they were addressed, they wouldn't desire being another gender. I always hated myself, so getting over this is incredibly hard but maybe I can cure my dysphoria without needing to transition. This is not me trying to be transphobic. I'm just ignorant and want to figure things out.

Cisfidence is something else man. You can have wide shoulders a wide back and you can just a dress with the back uncovered and no one can tell you anything if you were born a woman.

>>45266168
i think i heard the x chromosomes in the sperm live longer but it takes longer for them to fertilize the egg and y chromosomes die faster but they also reach the egg faster, and somehow this balance makes it so that half of the worlds population are men and half are women. And i think there is way to time it around the period to make sure that the odds of having either a girl or a boy are higher? but my parents never cared about any of that stuff. I always wondered why some couples seemed to only beget sons and others only get or mostly get daughters.

>>45266314
but what are you afraid of? is it because you think you will regret the voice change? some other physical feature? or the consequences of being a detransitioner like idk maybe having less cis people willing to date you after you trooned out (though this is probably a smaller issue for detrans women than for detrans men).

I'm watching Celebrity Traitors UK season 2 episode 6 and Maya in that green dress is triggering my gender dysphoria so bad.