Harriet Monroe EditionTalk about poems/poets you like, post your own work, and critique othersPrevious thread >>25202370
>>25259884Been reading a lot of him recently. When you realize that Mozart lived a full decade longer than he did, you start to appreciate the sheer enormity of the loss.
I'm so fucking gay I love slurping up semenAnd in spring, tree cum
stabbed to death in the bathroomcopper smelling blood swirling the drainbeing told its cancerterminal, eating away your braina strange phone call, filled with jagged laughterthe footsteps in the darkness getting faster and fasterfound myself buried aliverunning out of airreaper stares with lustwe all return to dustrotting flesh devoured by maggotsskull shining like a dinner plateits our fateits our fateits our fate
>>25259938lmao this reads like something an emo 13 year old would write in their diary
>>25259884Night clear as vodka -- from the street a woman's voiceStumbles through the black --
>>25259942i tried using horror as a theme, guess you cant win with you guys
voice of the devilfrom pulpit or screendestroy -not with words-through silence, unseen
>>25259938lines 1 to 6 are alrightrest descends into caricature and is corny
I'm so deep dear diaryReaper haunts my dreamsAll reduced to binaryBodies are but machines>>25259938I like emo 13 year old stuff though
>>25259938this starts strong but by the second stanza you've lost the rhythm entirely
>>25259884Walking outside for the first time in two weeks.Everything seems unreal to me. Blurry at the edges. People's expressions like condensation on a darkened window.This stuff -- all this -- motion tamped into narrow, porous containers,and the wind blows candy wrappers out of the trash cans at the gas station,and in a minivan a toddler whines about her sandwich, and the cashier'sblue hair hovers over her piercings. We will never know each other.I feel twitchy and restless and I'm coming down off too many drugsfrom strange websites in foreign countries. Now the fun's over.Is this all there is? Candy wrappers blown into the gutter?Overhead, the clouds fracture and coalesce in their blue muck.Their shadows slip across the parking lot, then lingerunderfoot. I feel dense, damp, chill. Excluded, if you'd like.And then the wind again, and then the sun again, and of coursethe light, and the warmth. Of course, of course. Sun blinkingoff the tops of cars and streetlights and the laundromat's rusting sign.And then the wind again, and then the clouds again, and of coursethe dark, and the chill, and the faceless, massed water, always overhead.
>>25259985>>25259987>>25259997You know usually i post poems in here that get ignored, i get zero attention, i usually rip off larkin by making poems about mundane reality with a hint of melancholy .god forbid someone try something different
>>25260043good on you for contributing OC and trying something differenthowever, your poem tries to generate its effects with stock imagery and contains no surprise for the reader (or the writer) it's also not very lyrical, which in itself isn't necessarily bad, but it's like you're trying to be both poetic and plainspoken simultaneously, and the triple repetition at the end doesn't do anything that the preceding three stanzas don't already do, and each stanza does nothing that the other stanzas don't do you've essentially written the same thing >we're all gonna die and it's scaryfour times, and each time with images I've seen elsewhere in exactly the same configurations as they appear hereI don't doubt the emotion behind it is real but because of these things it doesn't impact the readerThis is why your poem isn't very good
bathing, bathing, ok, soap.towel but later. what ifthe boiler falls.slippy feet are not, standing on the rug.tickles but painful. perineum shaved.ah, water.
>>25260012It's like everything you write centers around the same shit: being isolated and miserable and walking around feeling disconnected from the people you see and from your surroundings. It's getting old. You need to expand your range.
>>25260065yes yes i know, it was a lazy poem, i came up with the first part and tacked on the second parts.Yes i know poems need a shift, a volta, a le surprise.no one in here actually posts poetry anyways, they shitpost garbage or make fun of poetry
Sweat drops from my brow As the rosy sun dips below the cloudsAnd I say "good night" to the cowIn my pasture Rain begins to fall As shadows lengthen, presage of nightMy muscles creak and I stretch tall Comfy tiredStorm hides twilight And I don't see it, I'm making cocoaUntil I turn, what a cozy sight!Before bedtime
I say this with all sincerityThis is not a shitpostWatch and see real poetryWritten by a spooky ghost
>>25260076I’m not whoever you think I am. This is my first time sharing OC in these threads
I read T.S Eliott's first book, Prufrock and Other Observations. I don't get itI'm relatively new to poetry. I've read books by Byron, Tennyson, Keats, Dickinson, and some more general collections and I've appreciated most of what I've read. but with Eliott I'm just left feeling like... ok? is that it?makes me relate to people who look down on the idea of poetryis his early work not noteworthy or am I missing something?
>>25260201You are retarded.
>>25260233yeah okay but can you explain whyI'm ready to admit my ignorance. I know very little about poetryEliott's language is awkward and his poetry doesn't contain striking images or messages. I've only read his first book so maybe his good poems are elsewhere
Remembered this poem after I saw it surface on Twitter. I need to reread Donald Justice.
Larkin is just so good, anons
>>25260201Whenever I read his poetry I’m reminded of the smell of my great great grandfather’s house and it produces a kind of nostalgia in me.
>>25260941Larkin is absolutely the /lit/ poet.Complains about wageslavingComplains about not getting anyCompains about there not being any decent porn on TV after he went to all the trouble of buying oneComplains about niggers and commies ruining his countryComplains about getting oldRhymes and scansActually good
Got a couple of pieces here that I wrote just for funsies. I’m too much of a bitch to share my serious stuff. Shout out to the anon shitting up this thread with his whining. Just keep writing, bucko. You’ll eventually put out something that won’t make us cringe.1/2A rush of pure euphoria hitWhen I pushed flush inside youFeeling every ripple of your tight slitWhen I licked your pretty feetWhich on my tongue felt so realI knew the shape was soon completeWatching your mouth moan agapeDesperately pumping you wanting moreI finally began to stir and wakeFrom fucking you raw on my floor2/2I went down to the corner storeTo buy me something specialWalked right back out the doorWith my new one dollar pistolJust me and my one dollar pistolTaking it slow on down the streetEverything as clear as crystalLike gold bricks under my feetI went up and shouted to room 4DI heard a commotion on the other sideSo I waited there impatientlyWatching paint that already driedHe looked at me mean as a missileWhen he cracked open the doorSo I let loose with my one dollar pistolAnd that sumbitch dropped to the floorJust me and my one dollar pistolRunning fast on down the streetEverything as clear as crystalLike gold bricks under my feet>>25260108Very good. Tolkien esque in imagery.>>25260074I would clap if I heard this as slam poetry
